I have sent messages to so many females nearby and not a single response back. All I am looking for is hugs and cuddles. I am even willing to host. Why is it so hard?
This question comes up all the time. You may find these threads helpful:
How I found happiness on Cuddle Comfort
How I Found Happiness on CC Part 2: The First Meeting
I'm a non-pro woman on this site, and here's what I look for in a first message.
The short answer to your question is that there are about seven men on this site for every woman.
Because there are way more men than women on CC. If you are writing to an enthusiast, she might have 100 messages in her inbox and never see yours. Hence the popularity of pros here.
Your profile looks good, not empty like some. If you ever travel to Mid Tn, chat with me and see if we would be a good fit, and we could meet up.
First of all: welcome to Dallas, and I hope you enjoy the BBQ and relatively diverse food we have here. I had a chance to look at your profile, and it looks like you joined only a few months ago. I didn't have my first client until some months after I joined. Here's some input:
Best of luck!
@treehugger2023 To be honest, removing the other dude from your profile picture won't hurt either. it's odd.
Thanks a lot for your advice, everyone. @Sooson, that other guy is Dwight Schrute from The Office. It catches everyone's attention lol
@treehugger2023 - Contact a pro. Yes, you'll have to open up your wallet, but it will be worth it. Trust me.
@w8ed_blanket - The word "female" is seen as a red flag by some? Damn. I learn something new every day.
@treehugger2023 ohh the Office. I think I watched a total of about 20 minutes of it, well remove him anyways since he doesn't seem to help bringing the ladies over, and see what happens plus what @Mike403 said
I don't even know what to call people any more
@Mike403 "females" being used as a synonym for human women is definitely a red flag for many. I've removed it from my vernacular. All it took for me was imagining how I would feel to be referred to as "males" rather than men, or a "male" rather than a man. Like are we talking about people or animals here? 🤣
@treehugger2023 by all means keep that photo as one of your set, but it's not appropriate as a main profile picture because it has two people in it. For those who are fans of the US office it's great, but for those who haven't seen it it's just confusing.
@Mike403 I have noticed that on this forum the only people who use the word "females" to refer to women are men who are really struggling to find cuddles. Women never use it about themselves, which is a warning sign. And such men never use the word "males" to refer to men: absence of symmetry is another warning sign.
@jplemmon the basic rule is to refer to people by the words they use to describe themselves. There are exceptions (as always) but it's a good starting point.
Thanks. My neurodivergent brain can't pick up on what is socially acceptable naturally.
Where have I used the word "female"?
@treehugger2023 - Your very first sentence.
Oops, my bad. I never knew describing women as female is not considered good anymore.
@treehugger2023, it's in the first line of your post.
I have sent messages to so many females nearby and not a single response back.
And people make mistakes. It's okay. Just learn from it.
@Mike403 , yeah it's a term that that turns off a lot of women. To me, it sounds super clinical and sounds hella awkward in a non-biology context. "Female" is often used as an adjective like a female doctor. Unfortunately this word has been weaponized by certain groups to dehumanize women. You can describe animals as females, but only humans can be women if that makes sense. Usually it's a term used in contempt or degradation by said communities since as @CuddleDuncan mentioned men are rarely called "males" in everyday conversations by these folks.
It's an interesting topic. Language is weird but powerful. Imagine me learning English as my second language lol. It was and still is a shit show.
@w8ed_blanket all this time I've been reading ur name as weed blanket. I just realized it is weighted blanket
@treehugger2023 Hah! That comment made me chuckle in real life. Yeah, someone else took the username, so I had to think of a creative way to have the username. I suck at usernames, so I wasn't gonna think of another one lol.
Do I get any discount for making you laugh? You're hella expensive
I do offer discounted rates, but it's for longer sessions. I also address factors that influenced why I chose my hourly rate on this price disparity megathread here.
For better or worse, there is a high probability I will be moving to San Antonio soon. I'd suggest looking for relatively active pro accounts in the Dallas metroplex whose rate fits your budget more.
@treehugger2023 I literally have seen all The Office shows, and didn’t realize it was him. The hints that gave it away of which one was you was the Asian part in your profile and your age. So, no, Dwight is not doing you any favors. And he looked creepy to me. I see it’s him now, but like I said, I didn’t even recognize him.
@treehugger2023 I would say just be patient and persistent and learn more about cuddling, the community, and the experience of men and women here. I followed a lot of @CuddleDuncan s advice and I sent elaborate messages to meet new pple and some went well and some didn't or disappeared.
While it may seem easy : message, meet someone, cuddle! Its more complex and takes more time than that - I assume you only cuddle with women cuddlers. Not only are they bombarded with choices, but their safety and security is always a priority (trusting a man in an intimate space by themselves is a lot).
I'm in Maryland and my first cuddler was in Philly (2.5 hours away) after 2-3 months bc I couldn't even get local pros to respond. Now, I have pen pals across the country and starting to get to know the local community and making friends and cuddles here.
My one suggestion would be to really spend time on crafting your message, and once it's sent, let it go. There's no guarantee that you'll get a response or cuddle but if you keep at it you'll find pple around you that you can trust and befriend.
Gl!
@treehugger2023 Lol, I was thinking that guy next to you looks like Dwight Schrute but decided it was not. Like you, I did not know using the word female was disliked and discouraged til coming here. What's been written here is all good advice. My gut says you are a nice guy. Best wishes on your cuddle quest.
You can usually find a pro that fits your budget. I made a thread about doing a side gig to help pay for it.
Thanks all I forgot that I only have 1 pic uploaded. Of course, people would get confused lol. I uploaded more pix
I agree with Clay Aiken to cuddle @achetocuddle , @treehugger2023 seems like a nice guy.
I would definitely recommend removing the Halloween picture. Creepy is good for Halloween but not what you want on a woman's mind when she's considering meeting a strange man to snuggle. I'd also remove " I have not found anyone who loves hugs and cuddles as much as I do. I can literally cuddle for hours, lol."
Might also help if you consider mentioning you are aware of a woman's safety concerns and that you are are interested in hearing how you can put her mind at ease about it.
But honestly sounds like there just might be a lot more men here than women. 🤷♀️
@jplemmon no kidding right!