@deathwish
No, because I’m not here to argue. You asked a question and I answered it.
Edited for content [netrunner]
@TheMidnightOwl you’re diagnosing me with narcissism because of a discussion?
@Sooson you can have the deposit back, but I’ll have to drive there and then you’ll have to pay my travel fee first 😂
@TheMidnightOwl I think perhaps you might have misunderstood me? My comment had two parts. The first part was disagreeing that there were non stop complaints about people not hearing back from pros.
The second part was agreeing with you and meant to back you up regarding your statement that messaging a pro is indeed really, really easy, relatively speaking, as long as you’re not waving red flags. So I’m sorry if there’s any confusion on that
@soosoon I prostrate myself at your feet due to my failure in cuddling you on my last trip to Chicago. You’ll just have to come to Orlando for cuddles. 🙃😂
I prostrate myself at your feet due to my failure in cuddling you on my last trip to Chicago
That was a lovely visual and for that you are forgiven!!
I would say ask yourself some questions and answer them with 100% honesty. Would you cuddle you. Don’t just answer that. Think about your attitude, mannerisms, hygiene, manners, etc. etc. also think about physical attributes. Are you smiling in your picture or do you have resting bïtch face? Are you here for the right reason? Knowing these things can help your self improve chances on getting a cuddle.
@lonelytauros That song! Flagged and reported. You are now banned! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@CuddleHugs01234 thank you for letting me know. I will immediately remove it from my cuddle playlist!
@lonelytauros No need. You are already banned. Upon further thought, if ALL of your songs were in that direction, that would be weird.
For me, it’s none of these poll options. It’s how you message me. Do you read my profile and follow my rules?
Someone messaged me yesterday that I would’ve been happy to book right away, except he refused to follow my rules, and when I said he was violating my boundaries, his response was simply “no I’m not violating your boundaries”. As if he can decide for me what my boundaries are. Then he got mad at me for not being polite enough 🙄 Like yeah, I’m not gonna be polite to a rude person who is breaking my rules, duh
99% of messages women get here are men being assholes and acting entitled to us. So if you just message respectfully, you’ll already be standing out from the rest.
acting entitled to us
She's right. The sense of entitlement that many men have is the source of probably most of the problems that exist on this site: in private messages, on the forum, and in sessions. (And in the rest of the world for that matter.)
When someone sets a boundary, they are within their rights to do so. If someone else has a problem with that, it's not the boundary-setter's responsibility to soothe the person who feels limited by that boundary.
Setting a boundary may happen in the site's rules, in someone's profile, or in messages. The boundary may be communicated by a non-response, or by blocking. These things are all reasonable actions for someone who's boundaries have been crossed, or for someone who believes their boundaries are about to be crossed.
Anyone who feels "injured" by these actions would benefit from self-reflection.
(These comments aren't directed any individual in particular, but at a general pattern that I see as both a member and a moderator of this site.)
@deathwish you have already said I'm not your 'demographic' so to speak since I'm an enthusiast. Of your choices I would pick the bio as it would indicate if we have things in common but as others have mentioned the content of your messages would be much more important than anything else. I'm not concerned with people's appearance and would be offended if someone indicated they were picking me based off of appearance. In fact, there has not been one conversation that started with "hey beautiful" or "you have beautiful...." that I haven't eventually screened out because they were not looking for platonic sessions. Of course I'm not saying that applies 100% of the time but it is what I have found in my experience.
@SeriousSnuggler 💯👊🏻 My mind twin! Also, I know I owe you a PM, I'm so sorry!!! 🫣 Please have mercy and see this conversation blip:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/279169/#Comment_279169
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
@SeriousSnuggler I respect your view. I haven’t mentioned it myself but I have been called handsome or honey. Personally, I don't care one way or the other if they try to flatter me.
What I can’t wrap my head around is that we’re so hard pressed about compliments towards appearance as if the people that behave that way are exclusively the ones that are capable of violating boundaries.
Appearances aren’t exclusive to a sexual attraction. I mentioned earlier that it could be as simple as liking your style of clothing.
@deathwish Understand it or not , many women have stated and will continue to state that remarking on their appearance from interwebs strangers on a platonic site meant for platonic activities can result in the wrong impression . Continuing to wonder why at this point isn't relevant . It's like somebody stating a boundary and giving a "no", but then having that boundary called into question and whether or not their "no" is valid . Just best to respect it as a reality , accept this as a part of peopling , and move forward .
@CuddleHugs01234 I will try to include more instrumentals in my playlist and not have songs that have the word pretty in it. if it’s any consolation, that’s the only song in my playlist that does…I mean that did since I removed it from my playlist
@lonelytauros Good job!
@SunsetSnuggles NBD I get it! Take your time
@deathwish believe me I didn't start off taking offense. It's over time that I have seen where people who start off like this usually end up. Even now I will start by asking someone not to call me beautiful (or whatever). It's how they react that let's me know if I will continue to interact. 99% of the time they get angry or irritated at that simple request and launch into a speech about how they used to be able to call someone beautiful. How would it be different if you used to call someone Bob but a different person asked to be called Robert? You say okay and call them Robert. It doesn't matter your feelings on what they like to be called or not called.
To your point, of course they are not the ones who are solely capable of violating boundaries but if someone can't handle the simple boundary of speaking to me in a manner I finding flattering instead of the way they think I should find flattering that doesn't bode well for how they will handle things when I say no to anything else. That doesn't set up an environment where I feel very safe being in a space where I relax enough to get close enough to cuddle with someone.
As for appearance being more than sexual sure it would be different if someone said 'hey that's a clever T-shirt you have on' but that's not usually what people are referring to when they talk about appearance. In fact in an earlier post in response to @SunsetSnuggles you said platonic cuddling sounds nice but I can see it being a slippery slope to debauchery. Maybe not for someone as yourself that is wholeheartedly platonic and disinterested in the appearance of someone but more so for others that specifically but perhaps unconsciously select for people they are attracted to. This sounds like to me that you understand people are selecting for 'attraction' vs. their style of clothing in regards to appearance.
I was at Starbucks the other day with my wife. I had never met the barista before and as I ordered, I said, you look beautiful in your red dress. As we walked away and waited for our drinks, my wife says to me, she’s either going to think you’re a creepy old man or think you’re cute cause you remind her of her Grandpa. Yes, back handed compliment, my wife is good for that. As she handed us our drinks, she also handed me a gift card for a free drink and said, thank you for making my day. My point, my wife is right, everyone is different. Some people like compliments and some don’t 🤷🏻♂️
@pmvines I’m just wondering why it’s even being brought up. It reminds of talking to a woman for any simple reason and them responding with I have a boyfriend completely unwarranted.
Because no one in this thread asked if complimenting was okay, but suddenly there’s a lot of talk about bad men and what they say.
@deathwish you titled the post "what's a guy gotta do to get a cuddle?" And you want to know why people are responding with ways to improve how to get a cuddle?
@SeriousSnuggler Thats just the title of the post, the actual conversation is about profiles and what contributes to securing a cuddle, but there are other people here trying to have a different conversation about bad men and what they say.
@deathwish gotcha well then hope you get the information you were hoping to get
@SeriousSnuggler thank you for your input
but suddenly there’s a lot of talk about bad men and what they say.
Conversations about bad men? here? Never!
deathwish has left the building. Last seen hitchhiking toward Banned Camp... Local authorities say it looks as if he was picked up without much of a wait.
Going back to the title . You gotta not get banned if you want to get a cuddle out here...
I’m always mind boggled as to why some of you engage and entertain people like that in the forum. All you’re doing is feeding the monster. Maybe I see it differently. Maybe some of you just enjoy the “passionate” discussions. Although I think there were some great points made by several people, it’s painfully obvious that he was just trying to push people’s buttons. The monsters will go away if you give them nothing to feed on.
@Morpheus There's value in the conversation, which is why we started engaging...not simply for who we're directly responding to, but for the benefit of the lurkers, future readers, other newbies...
But certainly there reaches a point when there is nothing to be gained by continuing to engage (or, as the term goes, "feeding the troll"). That's why four or five of us systematically disengaged and politely walked away from direct continuance with the OP.