I Have Cancer, or The Power Of Cuddle

Yesterday I was given the full details of my cancer diagnosis: Stage IV malignant colonic tumour, with one lesion on the liver and possible penetration to the bladder. TL:DR It's bad, really bad.

I am to start chemotherapy at once, and have more tests and scans so they can figure out the whole situation in detail. If things go well I will have "very major" surgery, with potentially reasonable long term prospects. If things go badly then I have a funeral to plan, although it may not happen for several years.

There is plenty of underlying sadness obviously, but I'm not maudlin. Actually I'm in quite a good mood, because a big lump of uncertainty has just disappeared and lots of people's love and care for me is being expressed. This news has been building up over the last few weeks and while it is much worse than expected, it's not a shock. I like a bit of a gallows humour, so if you have any good cancer jokes or funny stories, I'd love to hear them.

I mention this because I now have a great deal more support around me than I did a few years ago, and that's largely thanks to the cuddling world. Not just the people I met, and not just the direct benefits that came from cuddling, but the people that came from those benefits. I'm a better person, and have a better life, and I'm very, very grateful to the cuddle community both on this site and elsewhere. And this forum has played an important part in all that. Thank you.

Happily, three of the people who were essential to this transformation are currently active professionals, so a big shoutout to @Touchunwind, @AnnaFortes and @WellnessVanessa. They are wonderful people, not just wonderful cuddlers. There are many others, both past and present, both here and elsewhere, and I'm profoundly grateful to them all.

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Comments

  • edited June 2024

    I am certain you will beat this. Know that everyone at CC is in your corner.

    https://www.comedycures.org/tumor-humor

  • Oh my goodness @CuddleDuncan, I'm so sorry for this news. We will all be praying and sending you well wishes. Please keep us updated! ❤️

  • Im deeply sorry to hear of this happening to you @CuddleDuncan. I pray for you that the better outcome, unfortunate though it still is, is what prevails and that you get many more years here with us. I’ve had the wonderful experience of meeting @WellnessVanessa when I visited your neck of the woods a couple years ago, and you have a truly wonderful person taking care of you!

  • [Deleted User]GreyingBear (deleted user)

    Big Hugs.
    A toast to all the wisdom you've shared with us in the past, and all the wisdom you may choose to share with us in the future.

  • I’m really sorry to hear. I wish you the best. May I ask, was any testing done prior or was this just found? I ask because once you hit 50 here in the US, your Doctor is likely to have you do a take home test and if the tests comes back positive, they’ll recommend a colonoscopy. Mine came back positive so I had a colonoscopy yesterday. They found and removed 4 polyps but they also found a 30mm mass that they are testing. Even if it comes back malignant, it will likely have been found early enough that it can be removed and I can move on. Im starting to think the testing should be done earlier than 50.

  • [Deleted User]FriendlyFemale (deleted user)

    @CuddleDuncan sending you good vibes a long distance hug. 🫂 I'll keep you in my thoughts. My DMs open to you. 🫶

  • @Morpheus My doctor made me get a colonoscopy when I hit 50 no home test or anything. It’s just automatic and well covered by most insurance. And some doctors do send patients in before 50 if they are overweight and eat a high fat, low fiber diet.

    But even with the best testing, this can still happen. Happened to my dad and he was on the five year test program because they found polyps once.

  • Wow, I’m in awe of the positive attitude you are going into this with, but then again, I’m not as I feel that those people who have the hardest things in life to deal with tend to be the strongest in mind and toughest in body - even when the body is fighting and sometimes failing-
    Anything good i can send your way -
    Thoughts -hopes- prayers - wishes- positive vibes- good juju - a magic genie so you can make 3 wishes-

    Here is the genie - 🧞
    I have not tried him yet so I’m not sure how good he is

    💕
    Jill

  • @CuddleDuncan - Sending healing wishes and prayers as you fight through this difficult time in your life. The power of the community behind you will give you the strength to overcome this.

  • @CuddleDuncan I read the forums a lot more than I respond or post. You always have a good, thoughtful and supportive response to your posts. Your spirit and kindness and genuine compassion are so clear. I’m so sad you got this news. But once again you come at it with the same positivity and thoughtfulness that’s ever present when it comes to you.

  • I'm so sorry. I will send you all the healing energy and wishes I can.

  • Sending good thoughts, @CuddleDuncan !

  • @CuddleDuncan
    Your powerfully positive mental response to this is half the battle.
    Truly awesome attitude and you should consider a platform to speak to those who are dealing with this and possibly spiraling into despair.

    I have known several people who have simultaneously taken Chemo and added healthy foods known to promote healthy cells. Grapes, Garlic, Spinach and Berries can help expedite healing along with the comforting knowledge that many have come through this.

    We are all definitely believing with you and for you and sending you healing vibes and energy.
    You will be in all our thougths and prayers.

  • Your attitude gives Cuddle Comfort new meaning. Maybe its best one yet.
    It's so heartening to hear that you found a great support network through cuddling.
    You have contributed much to this community, and I hope it's returned to you in kindness. Friends and friendships make a world of difference, especially during the roughest spots of life.
    Words are never enough, I'm truly sorry for what you're going through and hope for the best for you.
    Cancer sucks.

  • CD I’m so sorry to read this and what you’re dealing with. I’m also so impressed with how strong you are and your determination and fight. I know you will do everything you need to to get through this.
    I’m sending lots of positive healing thoughts for you
    Prayers and hugs too 🤗🤗🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • You have a large support group here crossing their fingers for a positive outcome! Good luck hun!! 🌸🌸🌸

  • I second what @ShaneSchrute said. I always am amazed when there is a topic or question posed here, @CuddleDuncan always seems to fully, compassionately, and truthfully respond to it. It's a rare and special gift, especially as a lot of these discussions can go a many different ways.

    I'll be praying for you, and sending you the best thoughts I can. As everyone has said, and it's so true, you definitely have a community here rooting for the absolute best for you.

  • @CuddleDuncan I’m really sorry to hear this. Big hugs, and I’ll be praying for you!

  • @CuddleDuncan
    Several of my family members faced cancer. Caring thoughts and healing wishes going out to you across the pond. 🫂

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

    Happy summer vibes! 🐬 🎹

  • I'm so sorry to hear this and that you have to go through an ordeal. Your attitude is of course amazing, and I'm so glad you're getting the love and support that you need. Those two factors alone will undoubtedly make a huge difference. Wish I could give you a cuddle Duncan hang in there.

  • I love what you say here: "a big lump of uncertainty has just disappeared". Having known someone with S4, and contemplating the meaning of life, I hope you will enjoy all that you have left to partake in and offer others. Nobody's getting out of this alive though our patterns and perceptions and minds change through time and space. Whether you suffer or have joy, it's good to know you have many willing to experience with you and support you however they can. If the inevitable happens, I'd rather you be celebrated at the end more than sorrowed, though I know both must happen. Roll with it not just for you but for all.

  • Sending you loving healing hugs

  • I'm so sorry Duncan. I'm glad your receiving good care and treatment.

  • You have the support of this community! You will have the support of a whole new community as well. Cancer sucks! I have found there are many different support groups that have been where you are now and will help you on your journey.

    Sending you good energy, long hugs , and sincerely wishing you the best outcome possible.

  • Thank you all for your very lovely comments. Very greatly appreciated. 🙏🙂🫂 I'm really quite touched. I will respond to the kind people who have sent messages

    I have IBS which means that whole department is a bit of a nightmare anyway. In retrospect that probably covered things up for quite a while, which is why it's been discovered so late. The trigger for all the investigations was a urinary infection severe enough to put me in hospital overnight. Needless to say they discovered a number of other less catastrophic conditions including pre-diabetes. My diet was not brilliant but neither was it terrible, and having a bit of extra motivation is helping me tweak it in the right direction.

    @TxTom it took me a moment to 'get' that picture, but I find it curiously inspiring. Thank you!

    Joke of the day, with thanks to whoever I stole it from: "I went on a date last night but it was a total disaster. Turns out she was looking for somebody with cancer as their star sign."

  • @CuddleDuncan

    It’s looks like I have joined you. A 30mm tumor was found in my colon. I have an mri, ultrasound and app with a surgeon scheduled. At this point, I don’t know how bad it is. The app with the surgeon in on the 22nd. I will update after that.

  • @CuddleDuncan @Morpheus sorry to hear the news. Sending you good thoughts.

  • Thank you

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