Yesterday I was given the full details of my cancer diagnosis: Stage IV malignant colonic tumour, with one lesion on the liver and possible penetration to the bladder. TL:DR It's bad, really bad.
I am to start chemotherapy at once, and have more tests and scans so they can figure out the whole situation in detail. If things go well I will have "very major" surgery, with potentially reasonable long term prospects. If things go badly then I have a funeral to plan, although it may not happen for several years.
There is plenty of underlying sadness obviously, but I'm not maudlin. Actually I'm in quite a good mood, because a big lump of uncertainty has just disappeared and lots of people's love and care for me is being expressed. This news has been building up over the last few weeks and while it is much worse than expected, it's not a shock. I like a bit of a gallows humour, so if you have any good cancer jokes or funny stories, I'd love to hear them.
I mention this because I now have a great deal more support around me than I did a few years ago, and that's largely thanks to the cuddling world. Not just the people I met, and not just the direct benefits that came from cuddling, but the people that came from those benefits. I'm a better person, and have a better life, and I'm very, very grateful to the cuddle community both on this site and elsewhere. And this forum has played an important part in all that. Thank you.
Happily, three of the people who were essential to this transformation are currently active professionals, so a big shoutout to @Touchunwind, @AnnaFortes and @WellnessVanessa. They are wonderful people, not just wonderful cuddlers. There are many others, both past and present, both here and elsewhere, and I'm profoundly grateful to them all.