If at first you don’t succeed, then sky diving isn’t for you.
But could be way to have a visible impact on the world around you.
Did you hear about the cow herd that stumbled upon the marijuana field?
The steaks have never been higher.
What’s Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out?
Wendy’s
The first time I road in an elevator was a very uploading experience. The second time was a real let down.
Why should I drop the jokes, we all know dads usually have bad backs and can’t pick them up
Dads shouldn't be picking up jokes anyway. They're usually married.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Two deer walk out of a bar together. One looks at the other and says, “I can’t believe I blew $50 bucks in there.”
Why are pirates not good with the alphabet?
They tend to get lost at C.
I was going to say a joke about the absence of atoms… but it doesn’t matter….
q: What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? a: Hop in!
some guy lost 20% of his couch... -ouch
I like to cudde and watch Netfix.
Its like cuddling and watching Netflix but with Noelle.
@gem7 since temperature is the measure of the internal kinetic energy of an object it is faster to be hot in a sense
@JasonCuddles You are correct but that would ruin the joke
I made a paper airplane but it stayed in one spot….. I forgot it was stationary
More dad jokes here...
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/14293/dad-jokes/p1
A dad takes his son to the ER because he ate a toy train The doctor said he bit off more than he can choo
I went to the movies but it was 18+ only so I left and came back with 17 friends
My wife refuses to go to the beach with me. I think she's just being clothes-minded!
Bad puns. It's how eye roll!
The beauty of a pun is in the "Oy!" of the beholder.
I told my kids I pay for hugs. Now they only come see me if I Venmo them first🤦♂️
Three men wind up outside the pearly gates. St. Peter " Please come forward and tell me how you died." The first man covered in sweat in a suit comes forward. " I went home early, I could tell my wife was having an affair. I searched the apartment, and from my kitchen window I saw the guy on the street below putting on his shirt. In a fit of rage I picked up the fridge and hurled it at him. It was too much for my heart and I died." St peter. " And you?" The second man half dressed in a shirt and a huge dent in his head. "I really don't know, last thing I remember was being late for a job interview and trying to get dressed and catch the last bus across town, then boom I get hit by a fridge." St. Peter shaking his head. " How did you get here?" The third man naked and shivering. " I was in the fridge."
Have you tried removing your spine? It's only holding ya back.
I couldn't get a refund for my BDSM convention ticket.
They said their hands were tied.
I warned my friend to not play Russian Roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
5 out of 6 people will get this joke.
I've never understood why people dislike vegans so much. I've never had any beef with them.
My girlfriend started eating a vegan diet and she became a completely different person.
It was like l'd never even met herbivore.