@pmvines then there should different requirements for forum only users. Also, Forums users make only a fragment of Cc users, in fact almost none of my clients or cuddlers I’ve met irl have ever used the forums.
I wouldn’t really mind if the forums ceased to exist if that meant Id verification sex offender registry was integrated.
@brownglucose Business will drop significantly. It CAN continue to exist as mainly social network but I doubt that is the main purpose for this place's existence. I wonder what cuddle sites require ID. the other 4 i have been using/looking at in the past did not.
And if you really want to get people out of here let's upgrade to live selfies and 2FA logins like the foreign Crypto exchanges.
@sage91436 I’m sad to say that I believe the creepy brigade wouldn’t change a bit.
[removed]
The site also has to be very careful, legally, for what it takes on in terms of security or safety.
Flagged my a member of the community. Removing part of comment. [CharlieBear]
I'm a professional cuddler who lives in a woman body, we don't really need professional services because we generally don't need them.
First, we generally have lots of intimate friendships where we get cuddles from so we don't need to go get professional services.
Secondly, as someone mentioned the dating apps are always full of lots of people wanting touch. So that's another place that we could go, and many women do! Just one of my dear girlfriends was telling me last week she realized that no less than half the sexy times she has had in her 51 years was just for the cuddles afterwards. While that is very depressing, it is very often how the cuddle desire is satiated & most women have no shortage of...suitors? I'm not sure how to say that one classy 😂
Lastly, it is just overall safer for us to be in the professional world as pros. Not only because life is just generally more expensive for us so we could definitely use the extra cash, but you have a company backing you up in case things go wrong.
So while I do very much appreciate as someone in a woman body that you are trying to be more inclusive of us, this is just something that we don't really need as much or at all!
As a pro what's made it hard to stay here is how often I've been sexualized. I've had clients dry hump me, vigorously rubbed their erection against me, whip about their erection to start playing with on video calls, even after I've complained about cuddlers sexualizing me they are still here. So I very much agree with some of the suggestions of not calling us pet names! As soon as I see "Hey beautiful /sexy / baby/etc...." I KNOW I'm not safe & block.
I also have a big problem with a lot of the enthusiasts not actually looking over the contract, looking over my profile, or really looking at anything they agree to. They'll agree just to get in here, but the behaviour is the opposite. I don't know how much information they collect, but if they collected enough that us pros were able to press charges when need be then maybe this environment would change a little bit? But as far as staying, it's really hard for us pros when we get sexualized so much. I've almost left a few times over it.
Please don't let that deter you from future empathy, this was really beautiful to read 🖤
@CharlieBear @JoyfulHeart Please edit the [political] case above and remind people of the forum rules
Maybe we should open a [political] thread so they all can vent over there?
@CharlesGrove Welcome back Neighbour. Cheerful and hopeful and positive as always.
Flagged by a member of the community. Modified comment. [CharlieBear]
Remember the conversation, what can we do let's not stop a productive discussion with the apostrophes.
I do believe I.d. Requirements would cause issues but if our priority is making things inviting and safe it's something that should be considered. I mean i might not even use it anymore. But we have to develop our overriding priorities, and in this discussion is making the site inviting.
This post was not intended to address professional services of any kind..it is intended to address the actions required to maintain an active enthusiast community specifically on ways behavior could be improved to make the environment more friendly to women...
I think women identifying steps men can take is very helpful..that outlines things that could change immediately
@ReltvlyCanshes My comments on IDs where from the perspective of CC and how it will impact business.
The idea I mentioned earlier of fake accounts and mass deportations of creeps to other platforms may also hurt business so I doubt it will be implemented.
Another idea is a wall of shame thread where every non-platonic request made via DM is automatically copied into and displayed for all to see.
Not sure that a whole new log in system is required but agree additional transparency would be helpful
The Wall of Shame concept would likely produce even more egregious and ridiculous harassment.
Trolls trying to make the Walls Top Ten Creeps…
Addressing misogyny also applies to the forums. While a misogynistic comment doesn't necessarily mean the user is a misogynist, the typical response to pointing out a misogynistic comment is they scream "No it isn't!" They never ask why. You can even explain in great detail why, and they'll ignore it and say you're the real misogynist. It always seems to be men, not the people targeted by these comments. We'll never do away with misogyny as long as we allow misogynists to defend it.
The same is true of transphobic comments. And there's a big overlap in the people who post misogynistic and transphobic comments.
@pmvines
"...they don't want to feel like they are doing all the emotional labor."
This is the primary reason I have decide limit any NEW cuddle buddies to men who DON'T hire pros. It's an entirely different mentality, with few exceptions. I'm NOT the hired help, and this is NOT transactional. Kudos to the guys who know what they want and tell me "no thanks," so they don't waste my time.
Admin needs to stop allowing/encouraging the modification of non platonic accounts by mods in order to keep the bad apples in compliance, like removing lingerie/bra only photos, GFE is specifically stated, fetishes, etc. They KNOW these rotten apples are here for non platonic purposes, but they shine them up (delete the non platonic/bannable stuff) and put them right back in the bin. (They don't always receive a warning, either. Banning is rare.
👍👍👍👍👍
@starrynitecuds I owe you an apology, as you have pm'd me about this issue once before months ago. I am sorry for not seeing it at the time (for me, it was the issues of Dudebros looking for dates that were pissing me off in my inbox😑), what you were telling me about months ago. 😁🙏
Lol! My apologies, I was blinded by the Dudebros.😆😆😆
And YES, it took me a while to start seeing this issue on CC Administration's end whenever I report a profile like that. As I have been reporting the ones in bra/panties or boobie shots as avatars, yet they are never banned they're only having those pics deleted from their galleries.😌
I have not noticed much banning taking place when it comes to my reporting profiles of that nature. You are right, Starry! You are right!😁👍
One that I did report, is still active. And yes, she is still in her bra. Lol😆
Allowing third party verification and profile verification badges is not the same as requiring users to make an account using id.
@Katota "Blinded by the Dudebros" is a great title for a book. 🤣😂 I'm going to suggest it to my daughter.
@starrynitecuds @Katota If the account has things that are non-platonic but it's not egregious and not indicating they are looking for sex (or non-platonic elsewhere), we edit the profile and issue a warning first instead of banning them. It also depends on their messages. Some that only are edited have nothing questionable in their messages so we remind them the purpose of the site and they hopefully use it properly. But if their messages make it clear they are looking for more, yeah just a ban with no warning.
Regarding making it more opening by requiring IDs to sign up, I am sure it's not only men who would not be comfortable with this idea. Women also value privacy and personal liberties.
😆👍
@Sooson Lol! Ohh, there are tons of threads and discussion groups dedicated to such unsolicited behavior pm topics on "the site that shall not be named" that I am very much active on.😁😁😁
Cool idea! Thanks 😊👍
@Katota See your DM
whip about their erection to start playing with on video calls,
🤢🤮
@CuddleSum7 Why I will never, EVER do video calls!😑😑😑
Too many women have complained about grossness such as THAT occurring...No video calls for ME! Nope 😑🚫😑🚫😑🚫
@Sooson o understand and agree, i just think part of the unwelcoming environment is caused by the veil of secrecy. Like i said it would affect my interest in the site but i think to change the environment we have to think about things like these. I like the fake account idea and while it might knock down quantity the quality of users would increase. If the quality increases more new comers (ladies) would stay. I think in my area there is not as much of a shortage of ladies joining but there is a very high exit rate, maybe 80%. Of course i dont know why all of them leave but i think we get information about many.
I would like it if there was an optional identity verification that can be done for all members, and clients/pros could have the option to require it to be active before a booking can be accepted. I think that would satisfy a person's desire to keep their info private while making it so we can limit who we choose to cuddle to people that are willing to prove they are who they say they are.
@pmvines i think you're right it would make everyone a little uncomfortable. But it would make those with negative intent even more uncomfortable. Because those of us who truly don't mean any harm don't have that issue of illegality and plain childishness to think about. It be security for one and the other might be our identity attached to a site some may seem questionable. While that those a real concerns they are also things that might be able to be addressed in other ways. Maybe i don't have it thought all they way through but im sure there is something in the thought that could work.
One of my concerns, is that I am giving my personal information to a niche internet company that cannot possibly guarantee its safety if they are hacked.
Or, in X years time choose to take a payout by selling that data as they turn the lights off here.
I don’t like giving my identification out to institutions, let alone a cuddle site…
@pmvines Yup! Site-mandated ID here is a non issue under current ownership. This is a WORLD-WIDE site, they would have to have dozens of companies to verify IDs from around the world.
@CharlesGrove valid
But how many users are in TikTok or shop at Temu, as important as guarding personal information we do t do a very good job of it in reality.