Making CC more inviting for female enthusiasts

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  • @CharlieBear never heard of that. I am imaginatively challenged but i think i do have a little bit of one. I'm flummoxed

  • edited December 2024

    @ReltvlyCanshes
    When I heard about it I was so jealous. I asked my brother what he can see in his mind and he can visualize things perfectly and even “see” things in the real world if he thinks about it. What the heck I want that. I can’t picture anything. I could not describe my mom’s face if my life depended on it. Wherever that info is stored in my brain, there is no way to recall it visually in my mind.

    Edit: That’s probably why some people are of absolutely no help to police when identifying someone. If I don’t make a mental note of something there’s no way I can recall what anyone looked like or what they were wearing.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    @CharlieBear Taking a deep dive into the psychology and physiology behind witnessing and recalling is fascinating. And sobering.

  • @CharlieBear I also have aphantasia. I can get brief glimpses, seen at a distance, like a photograph seen for a fraction of a second. I can get a concept of shapes and textures and emotions and other non-tangible things, but they don't have associated objects. I remember when I was young reading a book in which someone had to carefully visualize something in his mind, and it puzzled me how he was able to do that.

    I suppose on the bright side, my flashbacks aren't full color fully immersive replays, just the thoughts and emotions.

  • @CharlieBear

    We welcome the hall monitors. Please report inappropriate photos. This is how they get removed and how we slightly tackle the problem of people being treated like sexual objects on here.

    Those who are "treated as a sex objects" based on pictures they themselves uploaded that end up being reported and removed, market themselves as such. so no empathy for them for being treated as sex objects. and removing the pictures and/or non platonic language helps them stay here as sex workers.

    If one wants to see more skin and book with them, go to an escort site.

    If one wants to see show more skin and book with them be booked, go to an escort site.

  • [Deleted User]emma1979 (deleted user)

    I’m a female enthusiast. Men here message me as if I am a pro and don’t seem to understand that I am not obligated to cuddle them. I get a lot of first messages saying things like ‘can I book you’ and ‘when are you available’ which is really offputting.

  • @emma1979 even as a pro I rarely engage those sort of messages. And They’re rarely from the sort of people who I would want to book w for platonic cuddles. No, “hello” or “how are you” or anything.

  • @emma1979 I usually reply something like "all info is in my profile". Somehow I never get a response.

    I even had a male "pro" contact me for overnight cuddles, though he didn't tell me he was looking to pay me until right before he blocked me. He was upset that I was being cautious and wanted to meet at a coffee shop before I decided anything. Somehow I doubt he was actually considering paying me. I think he just said that as a parting barb, not realizing I wouldn't care.

    I reported the conversation. He's still here.

  • edited December 2024

    Cc seeks to distinguish itself from the shadow of escort services by creating a dress code for its cuddlers, aiming to project an image of professionalism and respectability, which is totally fine. Yet, I must say this plainly: the dignity of a woman has nothing to do with what she is wearing and clothing has never safeguarded any woman I know from sexual harassment. to say otherwise is just sexist delusion speaking. Whether a woman is draped in a hijab, adorned in a nun’s habit, or dressed in modest clothing , those sort of men who are determined to degrade will find a way to do so. I’ve Even seen feet, lips, knees, or ankles become targets of objectification so when does it stop?

    Tldr; I don’t see CC’s rules regarding wardrobe to change. However the act of policing others’ wardrobe beyond compliance with CC’s rules often reflects some personal biases rather than a genuine concern for the spirit or integrity of the cc

  • edited December 2024

    @brownglucose
    The dress code applies to everyone and one point is to present oneself platonically and not use sex to drive business. This is just not the place to upload sexy photos. Women are always going to be approached for sexual requests for what the are wearing, yes. But sexually seductive photos definitely increases that.

    From the terms and conditions:

    Profile photos

    We have strict rules for what photos you are allowed to upload to your profile.

    You agree to only upload photos of yourself that are fully clothed. Your photos cannot be suggestive whatsoever, even to a mild degree (e.g. focus on the cleavage). You must avoid potentially offensive poses or gestures (e.g. the middle finger). Your primary photo should be of you, not someone else.

  • CuddlerConnect seeks to distinguish itself from the shadow of escort services by creating a dress code for its cuddlers, aiming to project an image of professionalism and respectability, which is totally fine

    And where are they now and how did that work for them?😂😂😂

    Tldr; I don’t see CC’s rules regarding wardrobe to change. However the act of policing others’ wardrobe beyond compliance with CC’s rules often reflects some personal biases rather than a genuine concern for the spirit or integrity of the cc

    if a reported picture was indeed removed then the reporting was not an "act of policing others’ wardrobe beyond compliance with CC’s rules "

  • Li was concerned my original discussions had drifted away from my original topic..but..it still centers on respect. I do know of cases where women have been banned or denied pro status simply on dress code granted
    .these are 3rd party and I. Don't have all the details. But there cle s rly are differences between how people percieve dress code
    Before labeling, suspending
    Banning an accused offender..I would think there would be an expedited appeal process
    .same day. Labeling without given the offender a fair chance to appeal seems discriminatory or at least it seems so given the current discussion...please don't ban flip flops

  • @brownglucose huh? A woman, and a painting are two different things. You are not a painting from the renaissance girl.

  • @Sooson

    Those who are "treated as a sex objects" based on pictures they themselves uploaded that end up being reported and removed, market themselves as such. so no empathy for them for being treated as sex objects.

    That’s not who I was referring to, though pros with suggestive photos that they didn’t personally think broke the rules would also apply. Other pros in the same area as the sexually-suggestive profiles get treated like sexual objects as a result.

    If one wants to see show more skin and book with them be booked, go to an escort site.

    Yes that would apply as well, but I was referring to those wanting sexually-suggestive photos to not be taken down

  • @NikkiFM . My arguments weren’t about myself, and if you insist on making things personal, it might be best for us to disengage moving forward. Let’s leave it at that.

  • @brownglucose

    However the act of policing others’ wardrobe beyond compliance with CC’s rules often reflects some personal biases rather than a genuine concern for the spirit or integrity of the cc

    If someone is over reporting photos that do not break any rules then that person will get a warning themselves and we note that they are wasting our time with frivolous reports. Fortunately photo reports take very little time to check.

  • I’m not here to critique the policy itself—I just dislike how people use it as an excuse to be degrading of strangers.

    In My earlier point i was referencing women being treated as sex objects. The only way to address that behavior is to remove the people doing the objectifying, but then CC would risk losing part of its clientele. So maybe that’s not likely to happen.

  • @IronLemon
    Oh yeah I have experienced that as well. Sometime I catch small glimpses at the edge of my mind. I do rarely get really vivid dreams and it blows my mind every time.

  • @CharlieBear that seems very reasonable. :)

  • @CharlieBear ok. fair enough. I will take this opportunity to also clarify that I was referring to Sex Workers disusing as cuddlers.

  • @Jubal 😁😁😁
    Thank you, for "coming at Me, Bro". It's a pleasure to disagree and still be adored at the same time. 😄🫂

  • edited December 2024

    @brownglucose

    In My earlier point i was referencing women being treated as sex objects. The only way to address that behavior is to remove the people doing the objectifying, but then CC would risk losing part of its clientele. So maybe that’s not likely to happen.

    Oof yeah that doesn’t seem possible since the site doesn’t do much screening of anyone that joins, and I don’t see that changing. We only know of those doing the objectifying once someone is reported. We are not reading peoples messages (and we can’t as they are normally locked until that person is reported and we have an actual reason to go in there and check). So we heavily rely on reports in order to find these people. That is what also exposes pros that are sex workers so one report may result in many bans.

  • What's "CuddlerConnect"?

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    A woman walked into a church with a see-through blouse on. The priest was quick to stop her before she entered.
    "Excuse me ma'am, you can't come into church like that", he told the woman.
    "Yes, I can," she replied. " I have a divine right."
    Shaking his head the priest said " You have a divine left as well, my dear but you can't come in here without a hat."

  • @CharlieBear

    Try looking up and to the right then blur your mental focus. Now remember the event. That is your picture. It isn't a lithographic representation it is a connected feeling. Now allow yourself to drift into a daydream.

    Does that do it?

  • edited December 2024

    @starrynitecuds

    What's "CuddlerConnect"?

    Gone. out of business. one pro I was seeing told me they vet like a nuclear submarine, so she gave up and told them to F off.

  • edited December 2024

    @Katota 🤣🤣🤣 holy crap, that image is so appropriate for me. I tried - I really, truly tried - to watch those hideous Ewok tv series when they came out. After all, Return of the Jedi had officially ended the movies, and there was no prospect of any other Star Wars coming out anytime soon (even Timothy Zahn's novels were still years in the future), so I was willing to watch ANYTHING that Lucas put out.

    But I would rather watch the Bea Arthur scenes from the Star Wars Christmas special than have to endure those Ewok series ever again. Naturally, guess what just popped up on my Disney+ feed lol

  • Getting a headache reading what people think about attires.

  • @CharlieBear thank you for sharing about aphantasia. I’m going to have to look that up. For me I used to be able to see images in my mind or when I closed my eyes but that ability stopped several years back; as did my dreams. And now I can only see orbs of colors which took lots of meditating to be able to see even that. I can dream again but the images don’t last but a few moments after I wake up.

  • Getting a headache reading what people think about attires.

    😏

    @roni56 Perhaps you should read something else then.😊

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