Everyone I talk to on here before I even get a chance to meet and cuddle they get banned smh. So who is it that is getting all these members banned? 😆
Escorts. Escorts. Escorts.
I was talking to someone that got banned. We had already exchanged numbers by the time she was banned. When I saw her account was banned I should have quit communicating, but I was curious. She claimed to be out of work and had two flat tires. She needed money from me so she could fix her tires. She got nothing from me.
Are you finding ladies with a decent amount of karma? I guess that means they've been around for a while and probably won't get banned.
There's always been a percentage of people who get banned. If it happens, it means they broke TOS, pure and simple. As KozyKim says, if you are talking to newer pros, it's more likely they are either a) here for the wrong reasons and/or b) will get reported for breaking TOS. (That's important to remember - mods don't cruise around looking for people to ban. If someone gets booted, it means a member reported them and the report was found to be accurate. Banned members have a right to appeal, but I don't think most do.)
You do have a username which might attract the wrong sort of crowd.
If a lot of people that you are talking to get banned it means either that you are on the wrong website, or that you are making bad choices.
If you are talking to somebody and they are banned, there's a pretty good chance that means you fucked up. If you'd been paying attention you would have Reported them yourself.
This place is a community of members. It's up to all of use to keep the place safe both for ourselves and the more vulnerable members who need it even more than we do. Sex workers mostly don't mean any harm but can inadvertently cause great difficulty for somebody who has a history of trauma around touch.
The Mods who do the work are ordinary members of the community who have volunteered. It's a filthy but necessary job.
How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler
Understanding Boundaries & Etiquette
Yes. When I first joined I had 5 Pros I was looking into cuddling with after finding out about them. 4 of the 5 got banned while 1 Timed Out or something like that. That wasted a lot of my time. Had about 10 non Pros that all but one got banned. Crazy.
@IronLemon: I think you hit the nail on the head with that statement
In a bad economy there is usually an influx of women that don't really want to go full escort but instead do it in a roundabout way on various sites, selling additional services for extra cash. I've seen a ton of new profiles lately with very suggestive pics and sexual innuendo on their profiles. Many don't last long before banned.
In addition to those dipping toes, the full time escorts use sites like this to cater to those who wouldn't normally use a hooker, they feel they can squeeze more cash out of someone naive to the sex trade vs a seasoned John who is going to want more for their dollar.
I've been replaying Post Malone's Rockstar all morning because of you people.
I hope this is okay to share, of the people(anyone) that have messaged me, slightly more than 1/5 of them have been banned.
This question has probably been asked about and if so, I'm sure it's been answered but just out of curiosity. If someone is accused of solicitation from either side, what is the process to verify this whether fact or fiction?
Over the years I have been here, I’ve had several pros message me with a short, “How’s it going” type of message. The vast majority of those have been banned within 1-2 days. I am assuming they were new accounts and messaging every man in my geographic area in violation of TOS.
I’ve only had two cuddlers, who I had initiated contact with, who got banned while we were conversing. Both had 3 - 5 karma and neither had anything in their profiles that gave off a SW vibe. I trust the mods did their job properly and I dodged a bullet by not meeting those cuddlers in person.
@JohnR1972 common for a cuddler to get banned not for sex work but for sharing contact info without a booking or cancelling many bookings that did occur to avoid paying the site fee
@easylike the mods can speak to this — though not sure they want to give it all away, in case someone can use that info to work around it.
But, when someone gets reported, the mods can then access all their on-site communications— so that is a very straightforward thing— if someone solicits in either direction on the site, there is no way to avoid detection once either is reported.
For off site allegations, I imagine there is a combination of screenshots, links, or other ways to show that someone is breaking TOS
I was very fond of the Rabid Attack Cyber-Squirrels.
Cute, effective, and terrifying.
New here - is there a way to see if some one is certified or has training?
@MikeGR1 Probably be mentioned in their profile. I would guess the majority of pros do not have formal training.
I’ve used another site, while a lot more people on here, cuddlers had to get certified. It was nice knowing there was training and some due diligence
@MikeGR1 This site does not have training. The only way to know for sure is to see if they are on sites that require training. I have seen people lie about their training in their profiles, and because this website does not facilitate training, it is unlikely that moderators will do anything about false claims of training or certification
@MikeGR1 And, even those who do have training or certification, you need to research the organization providing the training and certifications.
I mean, I have been thinking of establishing a training course on cuddling, comforting, and accepting disabled individuals.
I have decades of experience in being disabled, I have training and experience as a caregiver, as a peer counselor, warm line operator, hospice volunteer, and patient advocate. And a literal lifetime of cuddling.
But I don’t think the “Grove Trained Companion” certificate would carry any gravitas.
There’s a whole, and socially awkward, conversation to be had about what professions and skill sets require certification and specific, continual training or education, and which ones don’t.
And it’s usually about how physically dangerous and potentially deadly the wrong answers and operator errors are.
Most cuddling training can be distilled to, “Be kind, be considerate, be communicative, ask for permission.”, because everything else about a shared cuddle is based on the individual moment, not about if you sutured the correct pieces of an artery together, or correctly read the altimeter…
@CuddleDuncan Why so harsh? You don't know what caused the pro to be banned, nor do you know whether that pro did whatever got them banned with the OP. I would think that anyone who has been here for any length of time has seen members get banned mid-conversation without anything suspect occurring in their specific interactions.
Sister Skinny is now a certified cuddler and has the paperwork to show it.
The answer is pros offering non-platonic services and non-pros attempting to charge money for cuddles. They were caught because other members of the site reported them. I’m not guessing. I checked and those were the reasons.
@btc13 a deliberate rhetorical play to emphasise my point. Not enough members Report problematic or dubious profiles and I'd like that to change.
You're right - sometimes there is absolutely nothing to give you a clue. But it's an order of magnitude more common for it to be .... I hesitate to say blindingly obvious because it isn't, it's subtle. But it's blindingly obvious if you're properly aware of the subtleties, if you see what I mean.
@CuddleDuncan what would be the more common subtleties? (If you don't mind me asking)
@GuyverGordon actually I have been ruminating on the merits of writing a thread about this.
A highly suspicious profile would be a single photo of a woman, noticeably prettier than average, and in a style different from most other profiles. (The most common woman's profile pic is a selfie, and the photo is mostly face.) Particularly a full body photo for the profile, and particularly if there is the tiniest hint of seduction, for example a top pulled slightly off the shoulder.
Profile text blank or one sentence, and/or written in a way that lends itself to ambiguity. Any reference to things like "relaxing" or "unwinding".
New profile with no Friends or Karma. Only the bare minimum of the Facts section completed. Age is not a big deal, it can be anything, but early-mid twenties is the most common.
Of course there are legit profiles that do all of that, and dodgy ones than do none. Overall it's more of a feeling and once you've seen a fair few of them you can just tell. The quality of the photo is the biggest single giveaway.
The Mods can see messages once the profile has been reported and it's there that the real evidence lies.
I just went looking to see if I could find one to show you but of course you can never find a dodgy profile when you want one. 🙄
I'm not sure if this is true or not but this is what I've observed. I've had several clients that have been offered extras. When I asked them, did you banned them? They said no. I think women get banned when they ask for money or their fake profile, but it doesn't seem like many people get banned for, sex work, but when the man gets scammed they are out!!
@wilderdude Good point, I had not thought about that but you probably nailed it about the other reasons a pro might get banned.
2 things stood out as I rejoin the forum for 5min this month. 1 Charliebear as usual is tactful and straight to the point(thx). 2 M2567 has to state/ask and affirmation before commenting. Which tells me the loudest posters in the forum are still rude and assumptive. "Cuddle well although in the forum there is still not comfort."