Is there any way for someone that's new to this to comfortably book a session?

GryfGryf
in General

So, I've tried contacting a few "pro" cuddlers I'm interested in doing a session with, but have had no response. Meanwhile, I've had other pushy "pro's" trying to have me book a session every couple of days. Another talked to me for several days, then sent me a message as if we'd never said anything before. This has just become frustrating for someone that is already about to give up on ever feeling human touch again. This site seems like "Empathy, if the price is right".

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Comments

  • CuddlyKaydenCuddlyKayden

    I'm sorry you've had a not so great experience so far. Unfortunately, it seems like there are quite a few pros who are just interested in the money but I promise we aren't all like that! 💕 There are some genuine professional cuddlers on here who want to offer a safe space emotionally and physically for you! Don't give up on getting healthy human touch just yet!

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited May 2025

    Honestly, as I pro I got a user name mixed up and did the same kind of thing. Like, “hi, nice to meet you!” ADHD me never thought to check the convo or username. I saw shapes and went with it. Part of the reason I’m bad at catching bad usernames. I don’t read them as a whole. I do remember a lot of details in general like the client’s mom’s b day but I still have trouble with usernames and remembering to reference previously said things to get back on track. Im impulsive. Probably not what you’re dealing with but forgetfulness might not be a reason to call it off. Pros get so many messages.

    And people need to stop putting cuddle in their name. Trying to figure out who’s who fries my brain. lol. I do know I have it in mine.

  • OokerSnapperOokerSnapper

    I think you're in one of those classic 'chicken or the egg' situations. Having karma helps give pros confidence that you're safe, but it’s hard to get karma without first having a session. One idea is to request a virtual session with a pro you're genuinely interested in. That could be a great way to start building karma. From there, it might open the door to in-person cuddles and give other pros the confidence to connect with you too.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Are pros you have not visited here contacting you about sessions? If so, that's a violation of TOS.

  • JennaBethJennaBeth

    I’m frustrated for you- your feelings and desires are valid even if some “pros” don’t get it or make you feel otherwise. Please don’t give up on finding a good match just because others have failed you. Some of us are genuine and you deserve to find that connection. Hang in there 😊

  • Backscratch75Backscratch75

    Reach out to pros with a good intro , times you are looking for and be honest you are new to this and if it helps suggest coffee to begin with to meet is alway a good beginning.

    And remember this is a close and personal service. someone who appears pushy to you maybe be someone I would enjoy.

    And pros have their rules of engagement on who they meet - I know I am too old for some and for some enthusiasts may not be who they would like to meet.

    Again this is a one on one personal connection and not everyone clicks and for me that’s okay.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @Gryf sorry to hear you've had such a hard time. It's not just you, most new members have a hard time at first. (Not least because new people get targetted.) I promise, it is worth pushing through. It gets easier as you gain experience and learn how the place works, and how to avoid or deal with the ..... people who are finding things a bit of a struggle at the moment.

    Empathy, if the price is right

    No, this is not the case in general. As you can see from the responses already in this thread. There are a lot of good professionals out there. But I do see why you are thinking that at the moment, it's perfectly understandable.

    1) It is common for professionals not to reply. There are numerous reasons for this but the key one is that almost all professionals are part-time and don't log on all the time.

    2) Professionals are not permitted to contact prospective clients UNLESS the client has shown some interest in them. This is interpreted as visiting their profile. So, if a professional messages you touting for business and you have not previously visited their profile, please Report them to the Mods.

    If you have visited their profile, send a brief, formal and polite "thanks but no thanks". If they respond unpleasantly or hassle you, Report them.

    3) Women in general receive a very high volume of messages and this can lead to all kinds of things. Never take it personally, it's almost certainly nothing to do with you.

    4) DO NOT pick your professional on looks. This is a fast-track to misery, especially when you are new. Pick them on experience, both in cuddling and life in general.

    You may find these threads helpful:

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    @Gryf I'm so sorry you're having a bad experience with this! I know it's hard for men, in general, because the ratio of guys to girls is so different. I've heard a lot of men say their messages go unanswered, but I'd always hoped it would've been different with the pros. I'd like to suggest that you hop on a plane to Wisconsin, you and I can get that first awkward cuddle out of the way (for free! I'm an enthusiast 🙂) and then I'll give you some karma, which might help with the pros. Everybody wins!

  • Jits47Jits47

    I've had a similar struggle to the OP's, it's been challenging to book a first session. I still have yet to, despite many messages, but I realize it's challenging because I cannot host and most cuddlers prefer to be guests (at least in my area).

    Also, the search engine doesn't really work well, as it keeps showing me pros out of my area and showing me people who don't host even though I put "host only" in the search bar. So it's been a challenge. And the pricing in my area is higher than most, and I have a budget ceiling I need to keep at eye on. Some cuddlers host, but they require two or three hour cuddles for that time, etc. It's been tricky. And it's true many messages go unanswered, but I also see many of those who appear in my search also haven't been on site for months, so that likely explains it.

    I've recently expanded my search to public cuddling, too, tho it's not my preference, but really just want to find a regular cuddle-buddy for regular hug therapy as soon as I can.

    I have been messaging back and forth with a couple of professionals, so I believe I'll make it happen soon, I simply wanted to chime in and echo what the OP says here, it can be challenging.

    I'm really looking forward to my first session.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @WriterGF

    Are pros you have not visited here contacting you about sessions? If so, that's a violation of TOS.

    Even if they are visited, that doesn't mean they want a session. You don't know their location until you click on their profile (if it's from a forum post) and not everybody does virtual sessions.

  • AdentoAdento

    I have been lucky or Florida has been pretty good. I’ve gotten messages from pros and one wholesomely nice and friendly guy. However, never been pushed. It’s always a polite thank you for visiting their profile.

    I’d say keep at it and maybe one of those who travels often will visit your town.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited May 2025

    I'm sorry that those who are having trouble are having trouble. However it happens to most people when they are new, it certainly happened to me. My first ever professional cuddle session on this site was also the only one which was problematic. Anyway, you just need to persist, it absolutely does come good if you do. And remember, don't take it personally - it's almost never about you.

    This is covered in the threads linked above but it's worth stating separately: the cuddle world in general, and this site, tend to reward:

    Effort
    Respect
    Patience
    Self-awareness
    Thoughtfulness

    So do those things and it will all work out for the best.

    @Jits47
    @Gryf

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Mike403 If you have visited a pro's profile, even if you are out of their area (you might be traveling), the pro is allowed to interpret that as interest and contact you.

  • GryfGryf

    I had one before, so I'm not COMPLETELY new, but it seems like the people I think I'd maybe have a genuine connection with won't respond. If I send a message to someone I find physically attractive, I'm sure I'd have an offer to set up a cuddle as soon as they were online. I'm not here for that, though.

  • GryfGryf

    @SquishyJackie If I could just hop on a plane to go cuddle for a while, I'd be there. I know you were semi joking about that, but I would take you up on that offer 😊

  • GryfGryf

    I just want to say that I appreciate all of the positive comments on this thread. I kind of thought I'd be attacked by long time members when I posted it

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    @Gryf I figured it probably wouldn't be a realistic option, but I absolutely would if it was so it never hurts to throw it out there! I hope it gets better for you. ** HUGS **

  • GryfGryf

    @SquishyJackie If you land in Arizona or if I and in Wisconsin by some chance, we'll make a cuddle night!

  • SquishyJackieSquishyJackie

    @Gryf DEAL! 🙂

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Gryf There's no way for you to know how many messages the pros you have contacted have in their inbox. Depending on where they are and what they're charging, they may be buried and have not even seen your note.

  • GryfGryf

    @WriterGF I've only tried to chat with a few and none of them seem to have a huge amount of karma or friends. They just seem like regular people that do this as a side gig. The ones I've looked at charge very basic rates. Nothing extremely cheap or expensive. Just about $100 am hour. One is 120 I think

  • GryfGryf

    Well, screw it. I can't make any headway here. Time to just leave here. I liked the thought of this site, but it's completely different when you actually use it. So disappointing.

  • TNcompassionTNcompassion

    Aww, @Gryf , don't give up! There ARE good, sweet people here. New people come along all the time- keep checking back. 🫂

  • GryfGryf

    Sorry @TNcompassion, but l'm just giving up on this. Sucks when you can't even pay to have some physical contact with someone. I'm just going to go about living in complete isolation.

  • myeyesmyeyes
    edited May 2025

    Your lack of photo and negative profile that states "ive given up on cuddling" is quite the deterant. Consider writing something positive about yourself. What are your hobbies or favorite pass time activities? Do you have a favorite cuddle position or activity that you'd like to share with your pro cuddler? Are you shy about your first time ? Then say that.
    On your first email, get to the point and don't waste time. Don't write "hey, id like to meet you, or trite compliments. Get to the point on your first email...
    My name is so so. Im available Monday or Tuesday at 4 pm. Id like a 2 hour session. Which day works for you?
    Send a nice photo of your face and one of your entire body. (On the first email)
    Pros are here to make money . It would also be attractive to the pro if they know they will have a good time. They are not here to have long winded email correspondence or to give you therapy by email. They need to feel safe and don't want too much mystery about you.

    BTW. I just looked for pros in your city and you have an amazing selection with great prices and wonderful karma. So fix your profile send a positive email that gets to the point with a couple of photos. Answer any question they may have

  • GryfGryf

    @myeyes I had pictures and a longer profile earlier today, but just deleted it.

  • frankparker9frankparker9

    @Gryf keep trying, it really is just like booking any appointment with a professional, and much easier in a lot of ways. While some pros maybe aren’t checking the site and won’t answer, many are available. Professional cuddling is kind of a niche thing, and pros are generally not booked solid with cuddle appointments and are grateful for new clients. Look for long, detailed bios. Duncan had great advice. The only things you need to message with a pro about are time, place, and other logistics.

    I’ve been on the site since the “pro” feature was added, and I’ve lost count of how many pros I’ve seen, and they’ve pretty much all been fantastic. If the initial messaging gets weird, just move on. If you are getting in your head about it, just pretend you’re booking with a lawyer or getting a hair cut.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Gryf So are you planning to leave the site?

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    I wish there was more credentialed or at least minimally trained pros on this site.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Mare_Bear If they had to get a credential, you would probably have to pay them for their services. Not sure the site wants that.

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