Cuddling men v cuddling women

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Comments

  • Unknown
    I've never cuddled a guy before (straight male here). But I like the idea of it with only very specific guys. It's an energy thing. I would only enjoy it with a guy who is very loving, fun, and essentially embraces his feminine side without being gay.

    But yeah I definitely cuddle to receive female energy to balance me out. It's so calming and amazing. I'm specific about who I will cuddle with with girls too: they must be very feminine and not butch. That kind of energy does nothing for me (its unpleasant actually).
  • alwynchanalwynchan
    As I woman I am okay cuddling guys or girls. But if I had to choose a guy, I'd choose a gay guy....I have known gay men and quite a number of them are very emotion-centric and affectionate..
  • RiverRiver
    I have lots of healthy holding experience with both genders. When it comes to guys, I have to feel totally safe from being hit on and an environment that's open/free of stereotypes. In a holding workshop I participated in, gay/bi guys were paired with hetero guys. All of the stereotypes were broken down and a freedom to give and receive healthy touch occurred. In my judgment, the hetero guys requested same sex touch more than the gay guys (because they already had that freedom with men). In my judgment, freedom from cultural hang ups and stereotypes allowed the straight guys to open up, relax in a safe way with other men. It REALLY surprised me and I did not expect that at all. It was a very cool thing to witness and experience.
  • Unknown
     I cuddle with my twin sister and niece, but I do love cuddling with a guy, I feel so protected, of course if I feel safe. I am perhaps, there is something sexual about it. I get a charge holding a guy is so relaxing.

  • [Deleted User]snowak (deleted user)
    Hi guys!

    There may be science to this! Dr. Kinsey, when doing his studies, noted that roughly 10% of the population of both genders is a 3 or higher on his scale (perfectly bisexual is a 3, anything above that heads towards the homosexual side, with being exclusively homosexual rated at 6), and yet there seems to be this divide that women like cuddling with women and men like cuddling with women - although not all of them!

    The reason why is probably linked to sexuality - there is a current theory that female sexuality is more fluid than male sexuality, and women are aroused by a greater variety of things. It has also been found that in women with high sex drives, there are higher instances of bisexuality than males with high sex drives, who tend to prefer one sex exclusively over the other (although it seems with either gender, bisexuality is more common in those with high sex drives). So women can cuddle with either gender (although it seems here that heterosexual women prefer to a varying degree to cuddle with men) and men are more likely to pick one that they prefer. 
    From an evolutionary stance, this makes sense. Oxytocin is used to induce bonding in people, especially the bond between a mother and child and a pair bond. If people experienced a stronger response to cuddling with their preferred gender, it would make pair bonding more likely and thus there is a better chance of producing the next generation - the ultimate evolutionary goal. 

    It's also interesting to note that women may get more out of cuddling - the oxytocin response in women seems to be both more immediate and stronger than it is in men, perhaps because estrogen stimulates the release of oxytocin. 

    I'm afraid there is a depressing lack of conclusive study done on homosexuality for both genders, but especially on female homosexuality, so I didn't really feel comfortable going into the details. From what I've heard in class and looked up on my own, homosexuality studies focus often exclusively on male homosexuality, and to be honest they really haven't a clue why it happens. I'm currently waiting on a professor to send me some studies on the methods of attraction between homosexuals as differs from heterosexual attractiveness, and this may also play a role in why we cuddle with who we cuddle with. 

    Something also interesting to note is that women are hypothesized to have a more plastic sexuality - that is, one that is more influenced by their environment than that of males. So in western nations, where it is perfectly ok for a woman to seek nonsexual contact with other females, they will get more out of it then men would with their own sex. Perhaps our natural, non-socialized state is to cuddle only with our preferred gender? Or perhaps our natural inclination is to cuddle with both and the male-male thing is a social construct?

    It's really hard to tell. One thing I have noticed when studying psychology, biology, and genetics is that we know sh*t. 

    Also please excuse any errors as it is currently 5 am and I have yet to sleep. 
  • Unknown
    I know that when it comes to cuddling I feel safer with other women as opposed to men. Men, being stronger by design, are capable of overtaking women and overpowering them. Definitely not in all cases. But still.
  • [Deleted User]Sunshine (deleted user)
    I'm a chick and I don't like cuddling other women, except for my sisters. I'm not sure exactly why, but I feel like women come to me for comfort and protection all the time, kind of as if I was a man. Probably because I am 6'0 tall and I like to take care of people. I am happy to be someone's friend but I dislike being a boyfriend stand-in. I myself need comfort and protection sometimes. I guess I feel like things are more even cuddling with a man. I also dislike boobs other than my own. I think I'm pretty straight haha. 
  • MrFreeze2561MrFreeze2561
    Personally I don't mind participating in a cuddle-puddle involving guys, but I prefer involvement by attractive women. I'm not repulsed by males, I just have neutral attraction.
  • cc123cc123

    hmm interesting comments from all, but personally i dont feel gender makes any difference to me, nor age, or anything else for that matter - i hug for a human connection, so as long as they are human its cool - my, or their, gender/frame/desire/sexuality/life experiance/ideas on gender doenst really factor into it - as long as its a platonic, warm, embracing, connecting, loving hug between consenting people why not go for it..

    love to all x

  • SonofOdin666SonofOdin666
    I find that cuddling should be about trust. Gender doesn't matter when it comes to trust. Biologically speaking of course guys are gonna like to cuddle with girls. There is always going to be a touch of sensuality when a straight guy cuddles with a straight girl. If that is what you prefer so be it as long as neither party is harmed. I would not find it embarrassing to cuddle with a guy. I think that would be stupid.
  • [Deleted User]GraceAnna (deleted user)
    I've never cuddled with another woman even though I went to cuddle parties and about half of the people there at the time were women. While I like a man's touch, I'd be fine with cuddling with another woman as well. I just never really took the opportunity to cuddle women at the parties.
  • primito13primito13
    Well, I for one I'm absolutely REPULSED by the thought of cuddling with a woman. I can't help it. I hug my mom and my female relatives and I will hold them BECAUSE they're my relatives. But really, I am MUCH more inclined to hug a man than any woman =(
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    I suspect that this issue centers around trust. I suspect that it is often easier to trust members of the opposite gender, possibly developing from the trust one has with parents and siblings. Women tend to trust men if they feel the man is protective. Men tend to trust women if they feel the woman is caring. Men tend to adopt more competitive relationships with other men and find it harder to let down their guard. This is not to play down societal pressures and such, but know that I find it harder to fully trust a man. I think that to get the most out of cuddling, it is necessary to let down your guard so that you can be open to the experience of another human. I definitely find this easier with a woman.

    :-)
  • CuddleSquidCuddleSquid
    Pansexual female. For me it's about trust but in the opposite way someone else mentioned... I have a veryyyyy hard time trusting men. I love cuddling with both, but in my experience men severely lack self control and almost always put pressure on to be sexual or more sexual, no matter what boundaries you set up beforehand. Sweet lady cuddles are the best! No pressure, no worries. Soft and sensual or just comforting! 
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