Should I change what I’m looking for in my description? Every message I’ve gotten has requested me to schedule a session.
I’m not a pro, and I’m not looking to cuddle by the hour. Is there a better way to describe that?
It's not you, it happens a lot. There are more women here who work as Professional Cuddlers than there are Enthusiasts like you, and this confuses the intellectually challenged men. To add to the confusion there are also women who work as professionals while using enthusiast accounts, but they are mostly caught pretty quickly. In some cases (both the women and the men) it stems from an ignorance about how the site works which to some extent is understandable when you are new.
Just ignore them. It drops off after a while. Block and/or Report anybody who is troublesome.
You may find these threads helpful:
Top Tips for New Enthusiast Women
I'm a non-pro woman on this site, and here's what I look for in a first message.
Understanding Boundaries & Etiquette
@TheodoraBear Welcome to the site! You can add a simple note in your profile that you are not a Pro, though as @CuddleDuncan mentioned, nothing helps certain individuals. 😆
Those writing you assuming you are a Pro would likely be delighted to realize that you cuddle for free as an enthusiast. Just write back and tell them you don't charge.
How they behave from that point is really where you'll learn their intent. I highly recommend making friends through communication on this site, first. Cuddling can come later once you feel they are genuine.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug
Thank you both! That was my thought. I’m not trying to date these people, or screen them like the FBI, but messages that say “ you free tonight?” make me feel….icky.
I was hoping to exchange messages here long enough to see if we wanted to grab coffee and then from there deciding if watching a movie together or some other cuddle adjacent activity (people watching at the mall, listening to music, campfire at the beach) could happen sort of organically.
I’ll keep gently corralling the messagers and hope for the best.
Your plan has an excellent chance of success. But it will take time and a thick skin.
You said it perfectly in your OP here: "I’m not a pro, and I’m not looking to cuddle by the hour, so please don't send me messages asking to schedule a session"
Maybe add something like "I'm looking for actual friends, which will take an investment of time and effort for both of us"
@TheodoraBear Your approach outlined in your latest post is exactly correct.
For the "free tonight?" guys, you can ignore them, or give a short educational response such as, "I prefer to get to know people through messages here, before meeting." They will either slither back into their hole, make a feeble attempt at conversation for a few messages showing you just how incompatible they are, or they will realize booty call approaches are wholly inappropriate and turn out to be a fully-formed adult. The last type is the rarest crayon in the box. 😉
Best to spend your time on the messages that show more effort to begin with. Another way to attract higher content messages is to create a higher content profile.
@TheodoraBear Since there are so many pros, guys would love a free cuddle. When I was an enthusiast, same. You have the luxury of getting to know them on here first and choosing the best fit. You’ll have plenty of options.
If a pro messages you and you haven't visited their profile or indicated interest in some other way, feel free to report them. One of the rules for pros is that they aren't supposed to do cold advertising in people's inboxes.