I’ve been on this site for years and I’ve sent a deposit, to me that’s a major red flag. But if the Pro decides to cancel, the client has every right to be refunded. And personally, I don’t like how we can’t post screenshots on forums because then we can’t make more accurate assessment/judgement on who was in the wrong, especially if both parties are okay with it. It’s a discussion forum, we should be able to discuss with all the facts but what do I know, I’m just a guy passing through 🤷🏾♂️
I have a theory about deposits that I think proves true 90%+ of the time...
Nah, the forums aren’t the right place for airing grievances or seeking a ruling. It just turns a two person dispute into a twenty person dispute.
And I have only paid a deposit once, very recently, and it was after we both accepted the booking and after I saw several green flags of professionalism from the pro. I probably would err on the side of avoiding paying a deposit if I didn’t have a good feeling about the pro (probably wouldn’t cuddle them either though!)
If most of the correspondence was offsite, I see no way the site can do anything about this. We are in the day and age of AI where text messages can easily be faked so how can you prove which is real and which is not. Only messages on the site can be taken into account which of course I don’t know what was said.
My best advice to the OP is don’t exchange numbers unless a booking is made on the site and never send a deposit.
Well, surprise surprise, the pro in question has zero Karma. And the fact that she never accepted the booking proposal is also a major red flag.
Thanks @Sunrise_Snuggle
Another good point. Don’t book with a pro who has no karma.
I think it’s fine for a cuddler to request a deposit if they host in a hotel. I mean she has to pay for the room and if a cuddler cancels on the pro last second, they can’t just find another client to take that place especially when clients rarely give half or the full amount as they should according to the website rules. So a deposit ensures the cuddler gets some sort of comp if the client cancels. Also other has multiple karma, I don’t see what’s the harm in a deposit if it’s 50 or less. I recently spoke with a pro whose client cancelled a 3 hour session last second. They also didn’t give any kind of compensation to the cuddler who was hosting at a hotel. I told her she should ask for a hosting fee or deposit to ensure she isn’t left empty handed . Now if you don’t want to give a pro with no karma a deposit That I can understand.
@cuddlefaery I think I've worked with the site for a few years and I've paid a few pros through the site 7 years and more recently. I would recommend that you try being patronizing with those who have less experience than you, not more.
The only money that goes to the site is our 15% fee per hour from each cuddle. Cuddlers don’t pay through the site to pros….
I thought if you don’t book, you can’t exchange numbers. Especially since a pro can book offsite and CC looses out. Shouldn’t this have been flagged ?
You are correct Mr @Bear
if you planned to reschedule, then why did you want the deposit back? why not just use it to reschedule? only makes sense to ask refund if wanted option to cancel OR the date is so far into the future that you’re afraid the deposit will be forgotten. it seems hassle to send money back and forth and will turn off the cuddler even if it is in the rules. that’s my thought.
but I agree with others, don’t schedule with pro cuddlers that want deposits. and if you want to take the risk, keep the conversation entirely on this site until the date of the cuddle.
There is a double-edge sword to deposits. I remember the pro in question complained on the forum about last mnute cancels. People suggested using a deposit.
But deposits are outside of the control of the site. It complicates things. And played too loosely people can feel like they got scammed.
Ive always hated the 'cant exchange numbers first' rule. I get the point, it makes sense.. but as someone who just wants to quickly communicate my requirements, their requirements, if it makes sense to book... like its a pain to do all that via the chat system.
And making a huge template to toss at people in text just.. puts them off without tone and stuff. (read as: I sound super harsh online, but im realllly not when you talk to me)
For everyone who loves to debate over deposits. There are payment processing services like Square and stripe that have buyer protection.
Ugh. I’m so annoyed that people scam for $35 it’s sad.
I love deposits bc it locks in the time so that the customer doesn’t back out.
I do verification calls so people know I’m real when they send a deposit and if IM the one who cancels I send it back. But when the client cancels I keep it because I already locked the slot in for them.
I’m sorry people scam for $35 that’s depressing 🫶🏽🫶🏽
no ads -Stormy
The two times I have had a negative experience have been times when a deposit has been required up front.
Reminder: we don't know that this was a scam. It could have been a misunderstanding/miscommunication, newbie error, or any number of things.
And for other pros to use this thread and others like it to try to sidestep the rules on pro ads in the forums makes other pros look bad by association.
Good points as usual, @cuddlefaery 🤗🤗
@JourneyRoad There's actually a reason for that. Let me explain.
A deposit is contingent upon the fact that you have a future booking in place. If the pro cancels, there is no booking in place. You have to make a new booking before a deposit can be taken. So you can't hold a deposit from a previous booking that you canceled, until you make a new booking. Therefore, the deposit must be returned before making a new booking, even if it is a hassle.
It is the responsibility of a pro to return the deposit IMMEDIATELY if they cancel, especially if it's last minute (not if the client cancels). It should be returned promptly and the client shouldn't even have to ask. In fact, the deposit should be returned BEFORE the cancelation was completed. When the pro cancels, they should inform the client that they already returned the deposit and ask if it was received.
The fact that this pro did not return the deposit when she canceled last minute, even assuming the intention was to reschedule, is a major red flag.
So the bottom line is, assuming what the client said is true, the pro should have returned the deposit WITHOUT being prompted to do so.
One thing I wish everyone would keep in mind: the vast majority of professional cuddlers have no training. There are no real industry standards set yet since it still new and figuring things out. And on top of no job-specific training, a lot of pros also may not have experience running a service business, so they don't know or follow standard business practices.
This is one of many reasons why it's just as important for clients to vet their pros as it is for pros to vet clients. It can become quickly evident who treats this as a side gig for quick cash, a hobby, or a profession. I've used the analogy before, but it's akin to comparing teen & college-aged neighborhood babysitters to fully licensed and bonded nannies. There's need for both levels of service, you just need to know which is right for you and screen providers accordingly.
As long as the demand for untrained cuddlers remains high, there won't be a push towards standardizing training and policies.
There’s no excuse to not refunding somebody their money if there was no service. It doesn’t take training or any of that . It’s common sense, unless they stated non refundable deposit, which is a giant red flag , there’s nothing left to be said other than the money should be refunded.
I've never asked for a deposit but I've DEFINITELY thought about it, considering how flaky many people are. 🫠
There's nothing wrong per sé with asking for a deposit, or even a non-refundable deposit. But "non-refundable" means "non-refundable if the client cancels." It can't be non-refundable if the pro cancels.
Oh I agree with that. Maybe I am remembering the situation wrong but I thought she was trying to reschedule and not cancel.
If a pro requires a deposit and the pro cancels, the pro should return the deposit immediately. Cancelling last minute can be a massive inconvenience to both a pro and client, especially if someone booked a room. Also do not send any money to someone if a booking is not accepted first, and I cannot stress enough to keep the convo on-site. There are scammers that will say inappropriate requests were made just to keep the money and get one banned so they can continue their scam. They can’t do that if no contact info was shared.
@SpicyNSweet She did ask to reschedule and I agreed I would. However, in my opinion, the deposit is for that appointment. I already showed trust sending money to a stranger. And I showed that I would be willing to deposit on an appointment, Also... many times it takes weeks to schedule something. She could easily stop cuddling and/or get banned or pause in the meantime. Note: I am not suggesting she should get banned. Just that the possibility is there.
But I can also see your view that we should've just rescheduled without refunding. I just have a differing opinion.
@SpicyNSweet Actually you're correct, the pro indeed asked to reschedule.
It doesn't matter though. That doesn't change the fact that it was a cancelation, and moreover, a last minute cancelation. And that doesn't nullify the requirement to refund the deposit immediately.
The pro can't just assume the client wants to reschedule if the former canceled last minute. It's still on them to refund the deposit immediately.
That's true. I had thought it was for an hour later than the original session, not a big difference of days or weeks. But yes I see that.