Straight Men: If you couldn't find a female partner, would you be willing to cuddle with another man

halnatoyhalnatoy
in General

This is a serious question I'm asking, mostly to prove a point.

When I normally think of cuddling, I don't actually think of something significantly "intimate" by any means. My friends (both male and female) and I would touch each other all the time, even with simple things like one person watching TV and the other person with their head on their lap on their phone. Or maybe reversed with that person having their legs across the other person's lap instead. My guy friends would be squished together on the couch and no one would bat an eye, even if they jokingly sat on each other's lap. Even now, as I'm trying to find people, I really just think of two people laying down and holding each other, or something similarly benign.

Yet we seem to have this issue of people trying to push boundaries and make things sexual. Yes I know there are some women doing this too, but that seems to prove my point. Things like caressing, groping, kissing, all of that, why does our culture innately tie "touching" to this? That's why we're all on this site, isn't it?

That being said, would you guys, the ones who insist on only cuddling women, ever be willing to hang out with another guy and just touch each other? Even if it's hanging out next to each other on the couch, or maybe mutually hugging each other if you're depressed and feeling down.

If the answer is a resounding "no", then I think we have a problem that's contributing to our cultural loneliness.

  1. Would you "cuddle" another male?71 votes
    1. Yes
      25.35%
    2. No
      70.42%
    3. If I had no other options...
        4.23%
«1345

Comments

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)

    watching this one

  • oberonoberon

    Absolutely.

  • satukosatuko

    Nope, not at all.

  • [Deleted User]sebastian23 (deleted user)

    No. What's the "problem" with that?

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    With the same caveats applying, of course.

    Has to be polite, respectful of boundaries, clear at communication, have a nice voice, and smell good.

    All that being true, sure, cuddling a “male” is fine.

    (The issue of finding humans that meet those criteria is its own miasma, as can be readily seen on any forums or comment section anywhere on the Internet...)

  • CaliCuddlingGuyCaliCuddlingGuy
    edited August 2019

    No. CIS Females Only

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited August 2019

    I love community polls. I'm not a guy, but I voted yes. If I were male, I don't think I'd be the kind of guy who adheres to the "rule" of our culture that says we don't share physical space with another guy unless we want to have our sexuality labelled. It's unfortunate and I'm doubtful it will change anytime soon.

    As for the clearly overwhelming presence of males who want to cuddle females on this website... if the intent is platonic, it really shouldn't matter whom wants to cuddle with whom. I do suspect however that a large majority (or even a large chunk if we're giving a generous benefit of the doubt) of those selecting this option have different intents in mind. People already have an issue viewing this as anything but a thinly veiled dating site all culture norms aside. When someone is here for purely platonic purposes and they still don't want to cuddle with their same sex it doesn't mean there's something wrong or that they're scared of being labelled. It can mean that they have not had a lot of exposure to being in close physical contact with the same sex.

  • BillBeanBillBean

    No way

  • luv2cudl2luv2cudl2

    No. I'm curious to see your answer to @sebastian23 question on why this is the problem?

    @halnatoy I definitely agree that there's a problem with the amount of lonely people there are these days. In fact, there's multiple problems but I firmly believe it's not because men won't cuddle other men.

    On a macro scale, I truly believe the problem is related to the internet, social media, mobile devices, etc. For example, how many people do you think under the age of 30, would rather have 100 random Facebook Friends or 100 Instagram followers over 1 REAL friend? I would say 80%. What do you think the percentage would be @halnatoy? The real answer to this would be a good start in figuring out what the problem is.

  • MrFirefighterMrFirefighter

    Watching this one too. Something doesn't smell right here.

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @Catloaf A person can be heteroromantic asexual. In that case, strictly platonic could be perfectly fine with them (no ulterior motives for trying to have sex) but they still get zero enjoyment from same gender company. So saying "if the intent is platonic, it really shouldn't matter...." If that's how you think, then that's for you. But other people get to decide for themselves what they like and what matters.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesTwisted (deleted user)

    I will note that, exactly as for women, there are lots of men who were abused by men in their pasts, and will simply never trust ANY man again.

    Trauma has no gender.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @CharlesTwisted - that is a really good point, in my opinion.

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited August 2019

    @Fairbutfirm The line you quoted was me speaking in the context of males who come here specifically to skirt the rules on this site, hence the sentence which follows. Having zero enjoyment in being with the same gender or sex is probably a little lower on the list of the dominating reasons as to why men wouldn't cuddle other men... given our culture, the top lines of thought are probably "I'm sexually attracted to women, so I'll cuddle with women" or "Why would a man cuddle another man unless he's gay or questioning?" In my own experience, the majority of men I've met with similar dialogue are heterosexual and cis, and it begins to spell out a pattern. Asexuals will be more likely to come to the table with a different view, because they likely aren't thinking about cuddling as it relates to sexuality... also spells out a pattern.

    Let's take out the sex and gender equation here though...

    The last line of OP's poll reads: "Even if it's hanging out next to each other on the couch, or maybe mutually hugging each other if you're depressed and feeling down."

    So, none of these guys answering have just chilled with another guy friend before on the couch drinking a beer, watching sports etc.? None of them have been there for a friend who went through loss and offered a hug? Also spelling a pattern, or leads me to believe the question was painted black and white by its respondents... at the end of the day, no, I can't tell other people what they want or what they should want. I never claimed people should want a certain thing. What I do claim is that certain patterns start to show up with certain dialogues.

    Trauma has no gender.

    @CharlesTwisted I love that you have added this in. Thank you.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Fairbutfirm: If heteroromantics get zero enjoyment from the company of someone the same gender as them, then I (as an aromantic) must get zero enjoyment from the company of... anyone.

    This is not the case.

    You don't have to be romantically attracted to someone to enjoy their company.

  • [Deleted User]Mickey21 (deleted user)

    I don't see why not, truly it is all up to intentions, really I'm just looking for human contact, but I do prefer a woman, just because that is what I'm used to and I am calm. More of a surrogate, if that makes sense...

  • CaliCuddlingGuyCaliCuddlingGuy
    edited August 2019

    I think some responses are getting away from the specific questions asked by the OP which are "Straigh Men: If you couldn't find a female partner, would you be willing to cuddle with another man?" and the poll question, "Would you "cuddle" another male?"

    Of course men hug other men and we will crowd 10 deep on a couch to watch TV. That's not cuddling.

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @DarrenWalker I was referring to CUDDLING company being that this is a cuddling website and the OP asked a cuddling question.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Fairbutfirm: So you're saying I can't enjoy the cuddling company of anyone.

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @Catloaf Speaking of the OP, another thing you did was to vote in his poll. He asked for straight men to vote. So you skewed the results.

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    Sure. These results seem skewed though. As far as I know I am the only straight guy in my city who has "cuddles anyone" in their profile. Maybe other cities are better /shrug

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @DarrenWalker No dude! I'm not saying you can't do anything. I was merely presenting that there are other possibilities as the way I read Catloaf's post was that she was telling all people who can be platonic towards women that they are wrong for not wanting to cuddle men!!

  • CatloafCatloaf

    @CaliCuddlingGuy Of course men hug other men, of course they crowd on the couch and dogpile each other - both of these situations involve being in close physical proximity to another male, though. OP put the "other" activities in there for a reason and people either didn't read it, or they didn't understand what was meant by the question. It appears that, according to this poll and the responses, straight men are afraid to touch other men typically if it isn't in contact sports, a fit of rage, or if it isn't their best friend's mum's funeral.

    Also @Fairbutfirm if one is curious about the results of this poll, they have to vote in order to see what they are. Unfortunately it's the way polls are set up here, perhaps it'll be fixed one day... You might possibly need about 5 more fingers to point, if there are other women who were curious about the results.

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    She* asked for …..

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @Catloaf So you put your desire (curiosity) above the poll creator's request, then? : )

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Fairbutfirm: You are saying I can't, though. I mean, you said heteroromantics get zero enjoyment from same-gender company.

    "A person can be heteroromantic asexual," you said. "In that case, strictly platonic could be perfectly fine with them (no ulterior motives for trying to have sex) but they still get zero enjoyment from same gender company."

    So someone who's only romantically attracted to the opposite gender (and isn't sexually attracted to anyone) could be perfectly fine with strictly platonic cuddling... but they would still get absolutely no enjoyment out of cuddling with someone the same gender as them, because they're not romantically attracted to them.

    It's impossible to get enjoyment from the cuddling company of someone you're not romantically attracted to, you said.

    So, as an aromantic, I can't enjoy the cuddling company of anyone. Q.E.D.

    @CaliCuddlingGuy: When my whole family (twelve people) crowds together on a couch to watch a movie, I consider it a great cuddle. Being physically close to a bunch of folks, knowing they're okay with touching me and I'm okay with touching them, feeling the heat off their skin and every move each of us makes as we laugh or pass snacks around or shift to prevent a foot or arm from falling asleep—it's one of the best kinds of cuddle. I feel embraced; accepted.

    Why would that not be a cuddle?

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @DarrenWalker No.....I was saying THIS heteroromantic would not enjoy cuddling with any male at any time. You can enjoy whatever you enjoy. Ok?

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    @DarrenWalker please note the word "could" in my post. Don't draw conclusions which aren't there.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I mean, if the cysts on my ovaries dictate anything, and if emerging facial hair is a predominantly biological male trait, I'm part way to being eligible for this poll. I'm not entirely straight, though, so I guess I'm out either way. :'(

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)
    edited August 2019

    @Fairbutfirm: If you have to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to someone in order to enjoy cuddling with them, you shouldn't be on this website. This is a platonic site. Not a sex site. Not a romance site. Platonic. Think friendship. Think family. Think platonic love.

    "Platonic love (often lower-cased as platonic) is a type of love, or close relationship, that is non-romantic. ... Platonic love is contrasted with romantic love."
    —Wikipedia's article on platonic love

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