In light of the recent mandate for "social distancing" and the suggestions on various discussion threads on this site and others for "virtual cuddling" or "social closening", it might be useful to continue or revisit the conversation on the differences between dating and platonic cuddling.
What are some of the ways that platonic cuddling differs from regular dating?
The following are some I can think of:
- Intention
In dating the aim is to impress with one's best self with the intention of scoring a committed (romantic) relationship. The focus is on covering, dressing up or discounting flaws and imperfections that may be deal breakers or makers to scoring that coveted commitment.
In platonic cuddling the aim is to share oneself as one is, flaws and all with the intention of building a deeper connection. The focus is on being oneself and expressing oneself in such a way as to make others comfortable with us as we are with or around them. There is no commitment nor obligation that comes with it. It is a connection that is reflected in how we feel, how comfortable we are in conversation or general interaction with the person. It is fluid and organic. It flows with each set of individuals needs, schedules and desires. It's voluntary and free giving. You can come and go in interaction with one another as desired or preferred between the individuals. As folks are free to be themselves. The emphasis is on being vulnerable to and with each other in a respectful and life giving way.
- Communication
In dating communication is often frequent and obligated by intention and emotion. There is usually so much ego and emotion involved especially initially that there's enormous pressure to respond to messages and phone calls.
In platonic cuddling communication can be frequent and infrequent depending on the individuals involved and their schedules. But if done out side of a need for attention and rather a desire to connect, communication in platonic cuddling is more driven by the evolving connection between people. The desire to share based on a continuous conversation around what each person wants and needs. There's usually no obligation nor pressure by one on the other to communicate. Unless of course one person needs more attention than the other. At which point it's no longer purely platonic but something else.
- Function
In dating, the relationship that grows out of whatever connection is made serves a romantic purpose among other things. Sexual intercourse is often an expectation.
In platonic cuddling it's a connection with no expectations for sexual intercourse. It is just that: strictly non sexual and platonic. The purpose is social interaction on a strictly platonic level.
So what in your opinion makes platonic cuddling different from dating? What specific gestures, behaviors, emotions and so make them different?
Share your two cents.