The reason why I pay pro cuddlers is the same reason most men do here ..... if I didn’t I would never cuddle anyone. The very very small amount of female enthusiasts we do have here make you go through what’s the equivalent of top level clearance backround check before they even agree to meet you for a cup of coffee let alone arrange a cuddle date. Hiring a pro takes out all the red tape and hoops to jump through. I know it sounds cold & transactional but if men want to cuddle women on this site it’s going to be the simplest way
@waynewv Yes, I wish that you could have hugged and told your dad that you love him, the downside of unaffectionate social conditioning. The words were never said the hug were never give but you father knows that you love him and he loves you!😁❤️😇
@hugonehugall I have read and communicated with many men in the situation that you described above about troubling finding cuddles outside of a pro. Some men have even told me that even the pros, were hard for them to get. I believe that you and other men’s experiences are real but mine is different. I initially did not believe in pro cuddling and cuddled only enthusiasts (female and male). During that time a pro wanted to cuddle me so bad, the cuddles were free. Now, I have paid a few pros that have reasonable prices but not all pros. I believe that my youth, easy going persons kit and other personal factors helped me get cuddles. I find that older men, men that are high pressure or other factors may struggle to get cuddles. In real life it’s hard to find a female cuddle buddy, outside of dating. Thank you for sharing.
Sad but true that when men complain about us women enthusiasts in a self- cemtered ,entitled way, as though their lack of success with nonpros is somehow due to the unreasonable behavior of the nonpro, it belies the underlying attitudes that cause us to screen you out in the first place. Not gonna hold close to my body someone who isn't happily sensitive to my reality. This after all is a pastime that's supposed to work for both people, not just fellows. So thank God for pros. You can cuddle and remain self centered, but ya gotta pay for it.
@littermate I have always had success with women throughout my life whether it was friendships, relationships or business. I am secure in my masculinity, so I am strong, empathic, concerned for others wellbeing and embrace platonic connections with “everyone”but sadly society encourages men to lack many important personal qualities. I have heard many females pro and non pro tell me about men that were rude or intentionally made unwanted advances. I pride my self by having respect of boundaries or limits, actually caring for my cuddle buddies and having the right intentions, some of the above reasons for my site success. I am not saying that all men that struggle to find women enthusiast or pro cuddles buddies fall into this category but I believe the stories if my female friends and cuddle buddies that have no reason to lie. Also based upon my consistent success with many types of people, I know what works.
@FishCuddles Unwanted advances must be prompted, like junk mail, by the perception of at least the possibility of success. That might be the fault of lottery companies, emphasising the vanishingly-small possibility of winning the lottery.
@geoff1000 You have your own interesting style of writing but I am original you in many ways. I agree from my own and other’s shared experiences that people who chose to commit unwanted advances hope that the other person won’t stop them or get them into legal trouble, which may be their idea of temporary success. Sadly that is not the recipe for keeping consistent and long terms friends/cuddle buddies. Thank you for sharing again.
@FishCuddles It's from "The Eagle Has Landed" where the German special-forces Colonel is being given the task of trying to kidnap Winston Churchill. He agrees the odds of success are low, but says, "A wink from a pretty girl at a party, rarely leads to intercourse, but a man would be a fool, not to push it just as far as it will go".
That was set in the 1940s, but perhaps some people are still living in that decade. I've never asked my bank manager for a loan of one million pounds, because I know what the answer would be.
@FishCuddles I consider myself to be successful with women in general. A lot of women find me attractive, I never had trouble dating or getting laid. I'm also very respectful of boundaries.
However for various reasons I'm not interested in dating right now which is why I'm on this site. And here, on this site, my success rate with non-pros is 0. And even my success rate with pros isn't all that high (although I have met some great pros and had some great cuddles). I do recognize that there is something some men are doing to have a higher level of success with non-pros, but I can't figure out what it is. (I'm actually no longer interested in figuring out what it is, I'd rather stick to pros.) In any case, even if every man here became a highly boundary-respecting god of cuddling, most wouldn't find non-pro cuddle partners for the simple fact that there aren't enough to go around.
@CuddleMeLater I think what you describe is testament to how different this is from a dating site . You both know exactly what you want and are getting into on dating sites . This isn't dating and my understanding is that women have a harder time finding men who truly want to just cuddle and keep things non sexual so you will naturally be treated with more caution
@CuddleMeLater Thank you very much! I am happy that you can relate to my experiences. I have the same view. I am here for friendship and cuddling, without serious relationship motives. @pmvines I agree, many women I talk to about cuddling have been hurt by men. I listen, let her express boundaries, earn trust with consistency and we enjoy cuddles!😁😎🤗Thank you all for great feedback. Keep it coming!
@CuddleMeLater The term "getting laid", perhaps gives an impression of casual and transient relationships involving sex. Maybe if we men were generally less expecting of that in our encounters, finding platonic relationships would be easier. I remember having close female friends in my late teens, and being criticised by my male peers for not trying to have sex with them ; and struggling to explain to a female college friend, that my hope to "sleep with" her, wasn't a euphemism.
Maybe people generally find it easy to have platonic and non-platonic relationships at similar times, like being bilingual ; but I find it hard to swap quickly from one way of thinking, to the other. A good analogy for my difficulty would be a tourist struggling to adapt to driving on the "wrong" side of the road, and then an equal struggle to swap back when they return.
Any help welcome.
@geoff1000 Yes, that's exactly what I meant by "getting laid." But I was describing the past, not what I'm doing on this site.
@CuddleMeLater Without wanting to pry, would you say your wants and needs have changed from non-platonic to platonic ( as I think mine have ) ; or have you ever managed to have platonic and non-platonic relationships, running either in parallel or in close sequence ?
I sometimes feel like the escaping British POW in The Great Escape, who is wished, in English, "Good luck", by the Gestapo officer, and replies, also in English. In other words, that platonic behaviour is very difficult, without a platonic mindset. As Gant is told in "Firefox", I have to "think" in the foreign language, rather than translating afterwards.
Yeah, at the moment that’s mostly true for me. As far as extremely casual relationships, yes I’ve had people in my life I’m sexual with and also people in my life I just cuddle with at the same time. But if we’re talking long term semi-serious relationships, no ive never really had both at the same time.
I'm willing to cuddle everyone. I have yet to cuddle a woman because my friends aren't into that kinda thing and I haven't been reached out to by one yet on the site. But I see cuddling as a platonic energy exchange/release. It's soothing. It's healing. It's loving and nurturing. I will say that it does feel good to have a man's touch, holding me and playing in my hair. But I can't wait for the day that I do get to cuddle with a woman (or someone who doesn't identify as male) to experience that same healing energy exchange in different way than I'm used to. I feel like there are certain thoughts/connotations we associate when we hear words like "male" "female" "cuddles everyone," at least from the people I've encountered and my experience.
@RaeLew I think the site rules for professionals, say you can't discriminate on the basis of client gender. Does that mean you wouldn't be allowed to charge less for a female client ? If you could, that might be a solution.
However, that might then allow male pros to charge 100x more for male vs. female clients, effectively defeating the requirement that they must cuddle both.
One odd thought. If two pros cuddle, do they both pay the site % fee ? Do they pay a % of their rate difference ?
I mean at this point I’d hug a porcupine if they would be big spoon.
@RaeLew I like how you describe the unique energies associated with cuddling both genders. I agree and appreciate the what positive attributes each cuddler brings with the experience. @SAHMof2 Thank you for adding creativity to the discussion.
@SAHMof2 hahahaha!
@SAHMof2 hahahaha - my sentiments exactly. The last several months, even the cranky mail carrier (and who wouldn't be, schlepping everyone's mail and packages around during the pandemic) is someone I look forward to seeing daily, even from 6 feet away.
@Sideon A man went away on business for a year, and wrote to his girlfriend every day. When he got back, she'd married the postman.
@alaskaman12 Nice South Park video! @Sideon and @geoff1000 Nice mail man comments! Lol 😂
Since posting these topics on forum, I have cuddled one “female pro only” and had an amazing experience. Also a man that is listed as cuddling “women only” and has 0 success cuddling women on this site, gave have me a cuddle offer! 🤗The joys of cuddling both genders lol 😂 Anyone else have any questions, comments or cuddling experiences to share?
@RaeLew I think if 2 pros mutually agree to cuddle and there's no money exchanged and it's like an enthusiast cuddle there's no site fee. If one is seeking the other out and willing to pay her a fee then the pro accepting the booking would pay the 15%. Don't hold your breath on getting too many female enthusiasts willing to see you on a paid basis. I've only had one who turned out to be real. Others that have contacted me are likely catfish so be wary.
I've cuddled with female friends and women I've dated, though I haven't had any female clients yet since starting out as a pro cuddler. Even before I became a pro, I found women were rarely interested in cuddling unless it was in the context of dating or a more committed, long-term friendship.
Interestingly, it's much easier to find women to hook up with than it is to find women who would want to cuddle platonically with a stranger - whereas there are lots of men open to platonic cuddling with someone they just met. Perhaps some of those men settle for cuddling when they really want sex or a relationship, but it's not always the case.
There were very few women at the local cuddle parties in my area as well (they are not running this year due to COVID, but I went last year). The last one I went to had no other women except for the professional cuddler running it.
@TouchSanctuary I'd guess that most women have someone in their life who would platonically cuddle with them if asked ; be it a partner, friend, or family member. Most of them probably even have a choice of male or female.
Most females who are looking for cuddling, are therefore probably looking for dating, and hence aren't on this site.
I agree men are also probably mostly looking for dating, so again wouldn't be looking here ; but much fewer of them have a "fallback" cuddle partner, so the numbers are higher.
Yes I think you're right about that @geoff1000 - though I do think that there are many single women who are touch starved, and just don't talk about it openly. I've seen quite a few women on dating apps and Facebook groups mention feeling starved of touch. I get the impression a lot of women would rather just deal with touch deprivation than cuddle with someone they are not 100% comfortable with, though. If women couldn't find a friend/relative/partner to cuddle, I suspect they would be more likely to just get a massage or adopt a pet than reach out for a platonic cuddle buddy or professional cuddling service.
Perhaps part of it is that women more commonly get support from their friends in other ways that give them comfort and reassurance, for example talking on the phone often, spending frequent time together in person, and texting quite frequently. These connections can help regulate someone's nervous system, so they may not feel the need for soothing from touch as regularly. I get the impression straight men rarely do that with same sex friends, so maybe the cuddling is also filling an emotional gap left by a lack of closeness in friendships. Men may have a higher baseline level of anxiety and stress as a result, that leads them to seek out the regulation that touch and cuddling give.
@TouchSanctuary I suspect that men are better than women at going for weeks without touch, but perhaps only if they know they'll be getting it later.
That makes evolutionary sense, with men going off hunter-gathering ; sometimes alone, but always needing to keep focussed. The complete mental and physical relaxation of a cuddle, is probably unwise in the middle of a predator-infested forest ; and best saved for when they are back home.
In "Twelve Strong" a soldier asks his wife for a last "fool around" before he goes off on a mission, and she says no, because, "It's the only way I can be sure you'll come back".