@catloaf Delete this
A clear expression of intolerance, and promotion of Gun violence? Not in THIS safe space, Lady!
Mr. Gorbachev (or Ms. Catloaf) - DELETE THIS violent and hateful image!
@Catloaf ...roflmao!!!
Welcome, bless your heart. Maybe you will be less focused on how women look someday and that may help. Guys can and do meet enthusiasts here. Though generally it can take quite a long time and different factors can help or hinder one's progress.
@FitSmartCuddler I joined a few days ago and so far it's not looking promising. It seems like the pool of candidates who fit these criteria is just about non-existent.
To answer your main questions - NO, men do not meet reasonably attractive non-Pros on this site. Undoubtedly, there must a few exceptions, but you are chasing a Unicorn Fart. The number of threads on this topic is proof of that.
Given the structure of current society, no one is giving away for free that which is in such great demand. What you need is real dating site. The less time you waste here, the better off you’ll be.
Cuddling is a really bad idea for some people even if it works for others. If you are an INFP male do not cuddle with anyone besides your friend, gf or wife. It will be better and you will not get hurt.
Also having the criteria to find a woman, who is barely no more than 5 years older than you especially if you are just a little over 45, I think you have some reconsideration to do and learning about platonic cuddling. I noticed that you want someone who is up to 21 years younger than you and no more than ~5 years older than you. Well I'd say that may very well be one of the biggest things that will hinder your pursuit to find a cuddle buddy.
And the "doesn't have to be super hot", I personally think you could use some time to reflect on these criterias of yours. Most of all, patience and you'll probably need a ton of it before you begin to make any progress. Especially in a time like this. You haven't even been here for a month, and some people would have been here about a year or half a year before they even got to sit across a potential cuddle buddy. Platonic cuddling isn't as popular and really understood as dating is, so it doesn't work the same way. Not to say dating is a walk in the park for everyone, though the point stands. Perhaps someday platonic cuddling will be wanted and respected by many people, til then, you will need to be less picky whereever possible and superficial.
@Catloaf
Well played. I hope I don’t get banned for celebrating toxic masculinity, even if it’s by a woman.
A few of your comments have been flagged in this thread. Lay off the baiting. Next flag will result in a forum timeout. -squeakytoy
@MichaelCreative "No sense trying to contact someone who hasn’t logged in in a long time." Especially if someone's profile looks decently put together, I'd still give it a go. You never know, they may still get the email notification and consider you.
@MichaelCreative Seconding @Lovelight ! Years ago on a different account, I wrote to a woman on here because her profile made me laugh, even though I saw she hadn't been on the site for a few months. She logged on and got back to me the next day! We exchanged messages, and we eventually met for cuddles Well worth it!
Ack! Aggressive homicidal penguins?! Stupid global warming!!
@quixotic_life Ack! Aggressive homicidal penguins?! Stupid global warming!!
Congratulations! We have finally addressed the last of the ‘Holy Trinity of Wokeness‘ on this thread - Female Empowerment, Toxic Masculinity, and Climate Change.
PS: To be clear - I know you were kidding, and your comment was really funny.
@Spock actually people do meet female enthusiasts, reasonably attractive ones as you say, all the time . You base your observations on the plethora of ranting posts and pity parties about all the people who cant . I base my observations on the fact that those of us who do, do not write post after post after post about it because we are out there cuddling people and enjoying life instead of pissing and moaning all the damn time
Lol @pmvines ~ You're the bestest! As a human and a cuddler. Go you! ♡
@quixotic_life do you mean that, or are those just brownie points 🤔
I haven’t cuddled a pro yet and I’ve met about 8 non pros so far. Haven’t had any issues. Don’t expect people to cuddle right away though. It takes time.
@pmvines So, your proof for the claim that ‘many men meet attractive non-pros all the time’, is the absence of posts from these men who are too busy cuddling to post on these threads?!!! Just wondering how far you had to twist to make that sound good in your own head.
But, thanks to you, we now know whom to blame for the plentiful complaints from enthusiast women! It certainly can’t be the guys complaining about not getting cuddles - after all, they never met these enthusiast women in first place! It must be the men that you are referring to, the ones that have cuddled most of these women. You know who they are, Go, get’em ladies!
Thank you folks! I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your moderators 🤣
You were previously warned about baiting other users, and you continued to do so. Your 10-day timeout starts now. -squeakytoy
Guess he won’t be here all week 😂
@PrinceDon said: "Our OP... Thanks for getting this conversation going. There's a chance we may have solved something that seemed impossible to solve. It will take time to fix and heal, but hopefully we can commit to starting the process. What say ye to all this, OP? :-)"
Thanks PrinceDon, and thanks to all who shared their thoughts. Wow--what a thread! So many interesting comments--I read every one. I don't have time to write back in full tonight but I do have some responses and I'll try to post them within the next day or so.
It's at times like these that I feel particularly pleased about being friends with people like @Catloaf and @pmvines. I made a very undignified snorting sound when that first image loaded. It was perfect.
Anyway, yes: we can all see that dissatisfied men are louder in the forums than satisfied men. Hypotheses abound.
Is this because there are no satisfied men? Impossible: we hear from men like pmvines, CuddleDuncan, respectful, and so on—can't ignore them, can we? Obviously satisfied men exist. So maybe it's because these are the only satisfied men? Unlikely: that would be assuming that every satisfied man has time for the forums.
Could it be that there are fewer satisfied men than unsatisfied ones? This seems likely. It's well known that men have trouble forming affectionate relationships. (Being good at it is actually stigmatized as "unmanly.")
And could it be that those who are good at it mostly don't hang around bragging? Also likely.
But!
Whatever the case, it's pretty clear that where there are people succeeding, paying attention to what they're doing might be able to help you succeed.
@pmvines .... Wha...?! 😏 Brownies?!!! 😀 For me??!!!! 😃 Uh... Yes please and thank you forever!!!!! 🍫🥰
Next day/AM edit... Silly, of course I mean it! 💓
@Sheena123 I just chortled.
@Sheena123
Elan! Touché!
@FitSmartCuddler Yes, I have cuddled many enthusiasts and pros, on this site. It lead to many wonderful experiences from both types of cuddlers!!! My keys to success are to message many cuddlers that you are interested in (with the expectation that at least some may chose not to respond). I don’t worry about the women that chose not to respond. Chances are it may not be a good match, so just keep messaging more and more women if not daily often. Search your area at least once or twice a day. You can also change the search criteria based on many factors that you are looking for (your search may be similar to the one I attached below). I searched your area myself and found many enthusiasts women that seem to fit most, of not all of your criteria. I also meet many potential cuddle buddies, by being positive/honest in the forums. I am still getting positive messages from many people and appreciate the love. ❤️We all have our own styles and personalities, these are many of my keys for success.
@FitSmartCuddler Also based on my experiences pros only accept clients that they have connections with (usually through messaging or another social outlet) A common belief is that pros will cuddle anyone for money 💰 (not true based on my experiences) Many pros that I chat with are interested in cuddling with me, some are not but I appreciate the honesty. Pros also typically love what they do, are very enthusiastic and put meeting the clients needs first (again based on my experiences).
What a ride this thread turned out to be. I’ve been warily keeping my eye on it the past few days, trying to formulate how I felt about all of it and discovering that by the time I had figured out what to say, y’all were saying it better than I ever could!
More proud than ever to be part of this community with so many thoughtful, considerate folks. ♥️
Re-reading what I wrote yesterday, I have a better understanding of what @quixotic_life wrote me in hidden/spoiler text. I hope you won’t mind my quoting your hidden/spoiler text and responding.
... if you have to write "don't get me wrong..." or have left your strike through edits just to be seen, those could be indicators to yourself that you might be better off doing a more thoughtful re-wording of your point, or deleting the sentiment altogether (unless you're looking to potentially derail the thread by eliciting targeted feedback)
I was admittedly being provocative when I wrote “If they don't want sex and they're not offering sex, why all the focus on their looks?” Yes, I see now how that was cringe-worthy and problematic, or at least it could be if taken out of context. I thought it was clear I was throwing someone's logic back at them, and that's why I said "don't get me wrong" afterward (not prefacing, as I had said in my previous response to you). I just now used my last hour of editing power (as one can edit one's posts for up to 24 hours) to preface my statement with “[EDIT: Using your logic, one could ask,],” intending it to read "Using your logic, one could ask, if they don't want sex and they're not offering sex, why all the focus on their looks?" The point I was trying to make was that others, especially the person I was responding to, were suggesting that the photos the OP posted of himself in his profile indicated that he was looking for sex, and by that logic, one could say the same of anyone who posts photos of themselves that focus on their looks [EDIT: or physical appeal].
I have to admit, if it wasn't abundantly clear, that I get angry when I see people assuming the worst of others and even accusing others of things they might be innocent of. I apologize for the fact that, in my anger, I wrote some things that were inflammatory [EDIT: and that, in doing so, I was guilty of the making same kind of assumptions and accusations I was railing against].
Slightly off-topic, but I'm really impressed at how civil this thread has stayed! I know that in the past, this topic has led to threads devolving into a mess of personal attacks and needing to be closed. Thanks for making our jobs easier, folks
Often. You gotta be patient tho
I was admittedly being provocative when I wrote “If they don't want sex and they're not offering sex, why all the focus on their looks?” Yes, I see now how that was cringe-worthy and problematic
So I previously thought there was at least a point to be made here. Even though it's tricky to state it in a way that's not victim-blamey, there is some tension in the fact that quite a few pros rely on sex appeal to attract clients for what is supposed to be an explicitly nonsexual experience.
But you know what... I just looked through a bunch of pros' profiles in a few different regions in the US, and truthfully I didn't really see much at all that was provocative. I mean yeah, there's some cleavage here and there, but it's the kind of cleavage that women generally don't perceive as sexually provocative, so I think this is mostly not an attempt at sex appeal.
I actually think this is a notable change from a couple years ago.