Good question. I will cuddle an attractive 60 year old, in shape woman for free.
@MarkB21 I might actually rather cuddle with a grandmother than a beauty queen, myself. Also, a person can take care of herself and still not be what you would call very pretty or in shape.
Of course you’re free to choose!
I’m not sure that I can express what I would give to be able to cuddle with my grandma again…
But what if she’s a 40 year old grandma, & what if she’s 60 years old and not a grandma (or even a mom at that?)
Edit … Nevermind I see you answer that perspective already
@FunCartel asking the real questions
(I missed my grandma so much I made meatloaf…)
Yes, if I am going to pay she has to be very pretty and in shape. . . . Why would I pay to snuggle with someone who doesn't take care of herself? or a grandma?
Oh, that's right. I forgot women were put on this earth as eye candy for men to satisfy their wants and needs - and thus, only young, fit, beautiful women have anything to offer others. Thanks for the reminder, dear.
Gotta love the body shaming of some people who DO take care of themselves and yet are still not a size 0. Or even a 14. Please don't make character judgments about someone's self-care in relation to their body size or shape. Some people have medical and physiological conditions and/or disabilities that make thinness/being "in shape," save without developing disordered eating/exercising, impossible. Some women also choose not to wear makeup or spend hours primping in front of a mirror everyday for various reasons, not least among them being that they recognize it's not their job to look "very pretty" to please others. Some of us have far more urgent and important matters to accomplish and attend to in this world.
I advise you to think a bit more before speaking, @MarkB21
I think we are all being trolled.
@TheMidnightOwl
I forgot women were put on this earth as eye candy for men to satisfy their wants and needs - and thus, only young, fit, beautiful women have anything to offer others. Thanks for the reminder, dear.
Look, @MarkB21 may have put it a little indelicately or rudely, but is it really that offensive that people are going to be choosy about who they pay to spend time with? He didn't say that unattractive or older women are bad or he would never speak to them... he said he wouldn't pay to spend time with them. If that's offensive to you, well I got news for you... I'm pretty damn fit and generally considered attractive by women, and nobody is ever going to pay to hang out with me. Should I be offended?
Deleted due to being grumpy at the time
Back to the question of this discussion, I did meet an non-pro cuddle here and we met several times - although she's been the only one. There's also been no responses, ghosting, etc. from other people that I tried to contact, but I guess it is what it is, based on a lot that's been aforementioned and discussed. I also met with a pro once when traveling for work. The session was great but the one thing that I miss is that I have no idea when I'll see her again. I believe that in a second session we'd be more comfortable, and enjoying even more. Well I'm glad I met that sweetheart @MelanieL in OK
@pmvines This is true! 60 year old grandmas have standards too. I doubt they're any less careful about who they spend their time with than the rest of the enthusiast women on here.
^!
@PrinceDon all the best! Hope you find your cuddly buddy!
@CharlesThePoet ~ That made me welly with thoughts of my mom ~ Though it would have been stuffed peppers. Still... (((Hugs))) to you.
@GracieGirl @Catloaf @quixotic_life 🙌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 You have yourselves a fan girl🥰 Superwomen do you need a sidekick?
@quixotic_life
Thank you.
And you have my long distance hugs and sympathies as well.
It comforts me to remember that grief and longing are only bitter because of the sweetness of the memories of those we miss.
OP here--thanks again to all for your input! I'd love to respond to each and every interesting comment, but I'd be here for a year. So I'll post some of the "general themes" directed towards me and respond to those.
"You apparently think this is a "dating site."
I'm quite clear on the fact that this is not a dating site. I've been using dating sites since the 90's. I know the difference.
"You must think it's a "dating site" because you only want to cuddle with someone you think is attractive."
I make no apologies for wanting to be physically close with someone I find at least somewhat appealing (physically). I don't buy the premise that cuddling is "strictly platonic." I have strictly platonic relationships with my neighbors, co-workers, family members, and librarians, and I would never cuddle with any of them. This shouldn't be news to anyone, but straight men get a certain charge out of being around women they find appealing. Don't get mad at us about it--get mad at evolutionary biology. This doesn't mean that any cuddling sessions must inevitably lead to groping/intercourse. You can have "sexual energy" in the air without it turning into actual sexual behavior. There is such a thing as self-control.
"If you think you're somehow entitled to meet some hot young chick to cuddle with you for free, you're shallow/unrealistic/a real pinhead."
I didn't actually say that's what I want--you're interpolating. I just want someone I find reasonably appealing and I try to be realistic about what I bring to the table and what that generally gets me in the companionship marketplace. So far, this has worked out fairly well out in the real world. If my 95-year-old neighbor knocks on my door and wants to cuddle with me, am I supposed to feel guilty turning her down because there's some unwritten obligation to cuddle with anyone who wants it since it's "strictly platonic" ??
"Just because you're fit and athletic, you think you deserve a fit athletic woman. You're not willing to be with a "squishy" woman and "squishy" women are the best cuddlers."
Not only did I not say that, I specifically said I'm somewhat flexible in my parameters and am open to spending time with someone who isn't at my fitness level. Quote: "doesn't have to be super hot, just reasonably appealing in some way (I'm fit and athletic but I'm flexible on body size, to a point)."
I've been with certain women who would be considered "large," "overweight" or even "BBW," by society in general. And enjoyed it. I like the hourglass figure and if it's proportioned a certain way, even if somewhat larger, that works for me.
As a final note on this topic: Virtually any women I've ever met who is diligent about exercise, eats healthy, wears nice clothes, and generally takes great care of herself, has wanted a guy who matches them in these areas. So it's not just men that are "shallow."
"You're going to have a hard time meeting non-pros because most of the guys here are totally abusive when it comes to demanding sex, giving enthusiasts no choice but to turn pro."
Two things: I find it mind-boggling that this is such a huge problem. But I don't doubt it, because I know how a lot of online guys behave. I wouldn't dream of attempting to force something sexual when I know right from the start what the rules and boundaries are. For one thing--I don't meet people online for sex. Even if they want it, which they sometimes do. In general, I'm all about spreading good will and leaving people feeling like I was someone they were glad they chose to spend some time with. Sacrificing all that for a transient physical sensation seems absurd to me.
As for the part about "giving enthusiasts no choice but to turn pro": I won't even go down that road. :-}
@FitSmartCuddler
If my 95-year-old neighbor knocks on my door and wants to cuddle with me, am I supposed to feel guilty turning her down because there's some unwritten obligation to cuddle with anyone who wants it since it's "strictly platonic" ??
Are the women who meet your “standards” supposed to feel guilty about not responding to your messages or turning pro? It is a two way street. If you are all that and a bag of chips you wouldn’t have a problem finding enthusiast women on this site to cuddle. But as you can see by the women who responded you are not coming off well. I would say that either this site’s mission and purpose are at odds with yours, or you are a perpetual Byronic hero misunderstood by the world but tragically unaware of your fatal flaw.
With that said, if you are still interested, I would suggest setting aside your wishlist or standards as you call it and just find an enthusiast to cuddle. At the worst the two of you do not click in the realm of cuddling but you might make a friend. I am the type that expects the worst and on this site that expectation has been pleasantly defied 9 times out of 10 by people I thought were not my style who I found utterly intoxicating on some platonic level. Do other feelings well up on occasion? Yeah it happens but they are put into perspective upon reflection and time passing. The point is you can get busy cuddling or you can keep busy crying. I would suggest the former as it is more rewarding and beneficial to you; and, you may discover, experiences can shift paradigms…even standards.
@FitSmartCuddler …. I respect that you chose to speak your truth (viewed here as the ugly truth) vs speaking what the majority wants to hear (which is the beautiful lie) … you’re obviously very intelligent, you know how to navigate through these online platforms & different personalities / popular thought / people in charge / & rules - which shows your maturity & experience in dealing with these online scenarios …. You created a thread that was sure to spark interest / didn’t antagonize one bit which allowed the thread to survive, & created debate but primarily dialogue, & in your conclusion you were able to address several criticisms & maintained yourself very honest & genuine to yourself & your answers without trying to start a fight or create drama/ or trying to “get back” at anybody who spoke “against you” … Another thing, you were able to speak for (apparently) so many guys here who do not know how to carry themselves the same way you were able to, with many similar posts prior to this one (or in the comment section) who have gotten themselves booted by not knowing how to get their message across or allowed the comments get the best of them …
@FunCartel: That's very well put.
In his first post OP sets forth a list of requirements, complains "It seems like the pool of candidates who fit these criteria is just about non-existent," only touches on possible alteration of his list with the words "lower my standards to absurd levels," and wonders why the two people who he's decided are good enough for him haven't responded to his messages.
The idea that maybe he might not fit their criteria doesn't seem to have occurred to him. The suggestions of ways in which he might get more cuddles and make himself more appealing to his target audience are rejected.
It's all about him and his desires.
"If my 95-year-old neighbor knocks on my door and wants to cuddle with me, am I supposed to feel guilty turning her down because there's some unwritten obligation to cuddle with anyone who wants it since it's 'strictly platonic'," indeed.
Do all non-pro women younger than 50 who've been on the site in the last six months and who he, subjectively, finds "reasonably appealing" (in an apparently sexual way: see "I don't buy the premise that cuddling is 'strictly platonic'") have some unwritten obligation to cuddle with him since cuddling is not, in his mind, strictly platonic? Are they supposed to feel guilty about turning him down, or not cuddling with him for free?
What an... interesting... mindset.
Yeah it definitely is. @DarrenWalker It almost sounds like OP is...drumroll...on the wrong site.
@Catloaf: And the argument that all straight men get a sexual charge out of being around women they find sexually attractive—well, duh!
"Don't get mad at us for deliberately picking only cuddle buddies we know we'll get a sexual charge out of! Blame evolutionary biology!" I'm sorry, did evolutionary biology teach you that cuddling can never be strictly platonic? Was it evolutionary biology that told you your mom and dad and grandparents and whoever else were getting "a certain charge" out of cuddling you when you were a kid?
Forgive me for thinking it was you who specifically decided to cuddle people not on the basis of how cuddly they are or how well you get along, but instead only picked folks you thought were reasonably bangable.
Don't get mad at us about it--get mad at evolutionary biology.
Yeeees. I will certainly do that. Boy, that evilution. It really is the devil, isn't it? Forces you to do all kinds of things against your will.
Let's set aside for now the bit about "sexual energy".
I'm kind of split on my reaction to your post and comment. On the one hand, 90% of what you're saying is, objectively speaking, simple and innocuous.
On the other hand, your complete and utter failure to read your audience on this site paradoxically indicates that maybe their attitude about you is actually right. A brief perusal of this forum will reveal that many, many threads degenerate into a circlejerk that basically amounts to "women and especially pro cuddlers are saints, and all men's problems are a direct result of their being boorish jackasses." This is just not a group that's going to react well to the things you're saying. If you want to say these kinds of things to this audience, you need to couch it in a lot of delicate language, which is basically the opposite of what you did.
This is an extreme and exaggerated analogy to make a point, but... it's kind of like going into a group for women who are survivors of sexual assault and talking about what you find attractive in women. Maybe that's a completely inoffensive and natural topic in a different context, but why in the world did you think this was the right audience for it?
Saint Circlejerk reporting for duty 😇🤣
Ah circlenerks. What a fond memory from youth. The band , of course
I get the impression you have lots of interesting stories from your youth @pmvines 😁
I'm not, like, trying to fan the flames or anything, but the evolutionary biology comment reads so off to me, that I'm applying it to other scenarios.
bank exists someone comes and robs the bank people who are in the bank are upset that others think this is okay to do
Person who robbed the bank, in court: "Don't get mad at me, get mad at evolutionary biology"
friend in US who is a school custodian walks into bathroom to clean student is in the bathroom, tossing broccoli everywhere
Friend: "Bruh what the heck are you doing?" Student: "Don't get mad at me, get mad at evolutionary biology. Also please don't tell anyone about this"
@Catloaf
Nobody robbed a bank. He's literally explaining why he likes attractive women.
Clearly a dumb thing to talk about on this forum, and his references to evolutionary biology are silly, but... is this really, truly something you have a problem with?