How much do you charge?

@Cuddlygal21  How is that unfair?  Because there are always acceptions to the rules?  I have yet to see a single girl on here complaining about the lack of finding a cuddle partner.  I have seen tons of guys say the only cuddle partners they have found on here were by paying a professional.  I've seen an equal amount of guys say they wouldn't even mind paying for a cuddle partner if they were priced more reasonably for them.

--

My mother passed away in November.  I already have life-long anxiety and depression.  Adding to seasonal depression and my family being hundreds of miles away.  It is hard to feel people on here are compassionate and caring when you are reaching out for help but yet the only people that are willing to do it are the ones who want you to pay nearly a day's salary for one session.  Then when people speak their mind or finally snap from lack of companionship you'll say 'see, with that attitude no wonder no one wants to cuddle with you'. 

I'm thankful I have a few friends that let me use them as emotional punching bags through these past couple of months.  I sure as heck did not find healing through here.  Although god knows it would have been a lot easier and better for myself and those around me.

As I said in another thread.  It's sad when people with selfish intentions want the same thing can't even come together to mutually benefit one another's need or desire. 

Cuddleready

@NjCuddleDevil  You said it way better than I did!  I agree with you whole-heatedly and wish you the best in finding the cuddling you need.

jeff53

It seems to me that the whole point, from the intro to signing up, was to help cuddlers find each other.  They make no promises that there won't be a cost of some kind.

Everyone has to pay for gas, compensate for time, etc.  Those that charge would like to make themselves available to cuddle full time and not have to worry about not being on the street from what I here across the web.

A standard could be established by the majority if one was ironed out, but then you have to take into account many variables such as experience, additional training that would be beneficial to the service (such as counseling or breathing techniques),
etc.

In the end it could ultimitaely boil down to simple business - Supply and demand - How much are you willing to pay for a service that is in high demand.  Especially if the cuddler may have to take a day off from work or miss out on RL activities in order to help someone heal.

I am new to this site, but I recognize the potential for healing here.  But I will say the Karma thing should always be filled out for both parties so that trust can be established on both sides.  especially if your a professional.

docgatorb

jeff53, this site started as a generous free service to those who simply wanted to connect for cuddles. The 'professional' status was developed to deal with those who wanted to promote their services for pay (they were doing this already, so it was more of a question to go ahead and let them or expend energy blocking them). I would distinguish this from any agreement between individuals for sharing the costs involved in meeting, That's simply logistics like who pays for the dinner when you meet with someone over dinner. Many of us resist the idea of making this site a business, although this is up to Mark who established this site and has generously given of his time. He has largely allow this site to progress organically and has certainly demonstrated that there is interest in it and it has identified many issues through the forums. I, personally, would support business aspects, as stated in another thread, but would like to see this site continue as it is, as well.

I think that professional cuddlers have every right to charge. The only issue that I have is when they quote prices that are higher than the fair market price. The accepted fair market price is $80 an hour. Snugglebuddies charges $80 an hour, cuddlecompanions charges $80 an hour, cuddlist charges $80 an hour and cuddleuptome charges $60 an hour so when we as clients get quotes of $100-$120 and up, it raises flags. If the fair market price is $80 an hour, we can't complain about paying $80 an hour but if the fair market price is $80 an hour, why should we pay more? 

I've seen 15 professional cuddlers over the past two years and have had amazing experiences and I've never paid more than $80 an hour. Most of the cuddlers I've seen have been quite generous with their time and have stayed for free past the paid time. I've had lunch off the clock with a couple of pros and several of them have added me to their social media sites and talk to me off the clock. All of the above however should never be expected. If we leave karma and ask for karma back, they should return the favor though. I've also been lucky in that area also and have had several cuddlers leave me Karma.

I have had pros quote me prices higher than $80 an hour but I don't see them. I move on to the ones that are within what I feel are acceptable price guidelines. We as clients can complain all we/you want but ultimately its up to us to not pay inflated prices.

Ive talked to several clients that have seen some of these pros with inflated prices and they have admitted to me that more than just cuddling happens. There's a pro in this thread that's very vocal about charging more than $80 an hour who I've had some of her clients tell me that she cuddles in a bikini and or lingerie and allows foot fetish activities. Does she say any of that when arguing that high prices are okay? Um no.

greenearth2

One thing left out of this is whether a professional snuggler has a place they can host at. Some of us dont have a place to host and the cost of that can add a lot. So I have sometimes found snugglers who host and only charge 40 or 50 per hour. So when I see someone who does not host and wants 80 per hour that is way more because a nice hotel room is around 90 so a two hour session is now an extra 45 per hour.
Do you see how now that 80 per hour snuggler without a place to host is now going to cost so much more for me?

So I probably will stop seeing pro snugglers if they don't host and still want 80 per hour. Such is life.

Mark

"Many of us resist the idea of making this site a business"

It's a weird one because you get people who resist the business aspect and I completely get that. But then I'm also getting emails all the time asking for things like a mobile app and getting this website advertised more. 

My hope is for this website to fund itself with everything going into new features and expansion. What I'm not sure of yet is how much of a business angle is palatable to the general community. 

This thread reminds me of my jiujitsu days when I would regularly visit massage parlors for my aches and pains. Theres a set price for that in my area so when I found a place that charged way more and was popular I figured they must be really good only to find out the massage was terrible but extras were offered.

I realize the pros are paid and are strangers but id happily pay the standard price for my area for someone who can make the session feel like they are an old friend. Once someone quotes me deep in the 100s I automatically assume the care vibe will be gone and extras will be offered.

In the end its supply and demand so people can charge what they want but if someone charges alot they will give off the wrong vibe and attract a different set of customers.

Cuddleready

Supply and demand aside, $80 an hour is ridiculous for no training or years of experience.  Very few of us could ever even dream of making that much no matter how much education or experience we have.  The documented average family income in the US, usually both spouses working, was listed at $57,616 annually in September 2016.  This translates to about $28 per hour and again that is the total for both spouses.  What these so-called professional cuddlers are charging is way out of line with reality.  More importantly, it is way beyond the budget's of many of the people who need it most.  So, either reign in the cost or call it what it is - pure GREED!

Let's be fair, that quote of $57,616.00, $28 an hour is based on someone working 40 hours a week and likely includes benefits. Pro cuddlers that work as independent contractors regardless of what they charge, aren't working 40 hours a week and don't get benefits. Let's say a pro charges $80 an hour and has three one hour session a day, working 5 days a week, that would come out to $53,040.00 after cuddle comforts 15% cut then come taxes if cuddle comfort gives them a 1099. After all of this, it does not include medical benefits, paid time off or any kind of pension/retirement plan. My point and I try to see both sides of the coin is that in the end, professional cuddlers really aren't making a horrible amount of money unless they are having multiple sessions every day. I'm sure this is a side gig for most pros.

docgatorb

Wow, Cuddleready, that was straight to the punch. although I generally agree with the message. Note that this hourly rate is not the same as a salary, there is no pay between jobs and no benefits (sick time, vacation, etc) still, $80/hr is a lot. I suspect that some who figure that each cuddle session has to equal a weeks worth of income and don't expect to be lining up clients back to back. However, there aren't too many professions where you can sleep on the job.

Lots of government jobs if you want to sleep. ;-)

docgatorb

You must be talking about the elected officials.

Cuddleready

There are plenty of people working 40 hours a week or more receiving little to no benefits.  Especially with the current trend of keeping people part-time so they have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet.  An hourly rate is an hourly rate, regardless of how many hours you are get work for.  I wish I could make over $50k for only 15 hours of work per week!  Also, the lucky people who do get good benefits often have to work long hours, drive long distances in traffic, pay for college or other classes, etc.  And if their salaried, they often work many hours beyond 40/week uncompensated (that's $0/hr).  So don't cry me a river for these "poor" overpaid professionals with no training and little experience not getting benefits or 40 hours per week!

Finally, do they really pay CC 15% on a mostly cash business, let alone taxes?

@cuddleready I'm very highly opinionted about how much pros should make and I do feel some over charge. You sound really upset about it. If I was that upset about it, I just simply wouldn't deal with pros.

Cuddlygal21

@NJCuddleDevil - It is unfair because it is a generalization based on his experience only. He has not spoken to every non-pro on this site, and I know for a fact that there are other women like me on here who are not looking for hook ups or to find a boyfriend. His comment and that pervasive attitude on this site is what makes me, and other non-pro women I've spoken to here, want to just bag this whole thing - which is sad, because it shouldn't be that way. And several I know already have. And they were really nice women, too - people you'd be lucky to cuddle with.

Before I continue I also want to say, @NJCuddleDevil, that I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's passing. I lost my mother 13 years ago this month. And I lost my father just 2 years after that - while he was visiting me for the weekend, no less. So I understand that pain all too well. What I want to say on that score though, is that while you might be looking for some cuddling to help you during this time, I'd really urge you to seek out an organization like Kara.org. I don't know if they're country-wide, but I'm sure there are other organizations like them. They provide free grief counseling to people who are going through what you are. I used them and they were of immense help. The people on this website, are not grief counselors. And honestly, most people (especially in this country) have a very hard time dealing with death. It makes us uncomfortable as a society. And as @joey012616 pointed out in a previous posting, most people on here are not equipped or trained to console/counsel those of us dealing with deeper psychological issues - and trust me, grief is category unto its own. So while I realize you're looking for that human contact here, I'd really urge you to think about finding someone who can really help you get through this difficult time. If you can find a cuddle buddy, too, that's wonderful. But again, most people on this site are not equipped to deal with the complexities of grief. 

Now, I realize I am the lone voice of the non-pro female on this thread, and that most of you are just fine paying to cuddle - and I'm honestly, not here to argue with that. But I am here to say a few things that most of you are not taking into consideration. 

Number one - there has to be a different approach with someone who is not a pro. I've gotten more emails that I can count where someone just writes - "I want to book time with you." Honestly, it makes me feel like an escort or something. Most men, in my experience, make little to no effort in the emails they write, and make little to no effort trying to establish a connection with me. Since I am not doing this for money, there has to be some sort of a connection there for me to want to cuddle with someone. If someone can't be bothered to make even the smallest effort (and their profiles are usually completely blank as well) why should I bother considering them? And these are the people who are just looking for cuddling. This doesn't even take into account all the solicitations of sex, etc. 

I was going to suggest that perhaps there should be a template on the site for those who don't know how to properly approach someone for cuddling. They might be from another country, or perhaps they're socially awkward - but whatever the case may be, there is a right and a wrong way to approach someone. And some education by the site itself would really help with that I think.

Again, everyone is free to cuddle with whom they want, paid or otherwise, but everyone deserves a little respect and I don't feel I've gotten much of it on this site. The obvious bias towards those of us who DON'T charge is obvious - and maybe that's simply because we've retained the right of refusal (which, btw, a pro has the right to do as well. She just may not because she likes or needs the paycheck.) But based on the incredibly nasty comments I've received when I've exercised my right to say "no thank you," tells me that perhaps this site would be better off it was completely for pay. Because the negative vibe towards us regular women on here is palpable. And yes, Morpheus, your comment was definitely that, whether you want to admit it or not.

Btw I just had a pro who I never met message me and then block me saying I was being slanderous and talking about her. I read back and as far as I can see, never mentioned her name.... hmmm sounds guilty.

greenearth2

I generally don't waste time with non pros anymore. If I was great at dating and making someone feel like being with me I wouldn't be missing human touch like this and on this site because I'd have a girlfriend.
I don't find many non pros who aren't acting like you want to date them and don't seem to want the casual cuddling experience...Maybe they exist but I haven't found any on over 11 months

docgatorb

Through all these discussions, I hear both the expression that people want to feel a connection with their cuddle companion but don't want the dating feel. We are exploring an area where few have thread. I suspect that the professional may be more seasoned in this arena and might serve the needs of the less seasoned better. The other alternative is to cuddle in a facilitated, monitored group (Cuddle Party) where you have an experienced person leading the activities. There are also some who resist this idea as well.

On one hand, there is the thought that cuddling is a simple human behavior that should come natural to everyone. With that thought, however, there is also a common dismissal of all the cultural aspects where we have learned what to expect, how to behave and how to respond. This is the area where we are challenged. These cultural aspects are deeply embedded in our language and are not easy to overcome. However, be warned, these beliefs and concepts will be challenged. This is both the beauty of cuddling and the threat of cuddling.

I'm speaking of the baggage that we each bring to any kind of relationship. Some people think that they have no baggage, but that is very unlikely. Baggage is simply past experiences influencing present experiences. It is the context that is added to the present experience. it has been pointed out by some members that you should be able to cuddle anyone and the professional guidelines say that they will. It has also been pointed out by others that they do not want to cuddle with someone that they don't find attractive and outside of their comfort zone. How often do you hear of someone trying to expand their comfort zone, after all, it something that is flexible and can be made more flexible. Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew. That can be uncomfortable but we get over it.

These issues will come up over and over, This forum provides both insights and lack of understanding among those who have chosen this path. You are all pioneers in a new frontier that is exploring some of the oldest behaviors of man. We will get there, but expect some stumbling on the way.

Cuddleready

Very well put docgatorb.  I applaud all non-pro's on here that cuddle for cuddling's sake.  You
are the true leaders in this new frontier.  We need to nurture, respect, and honor these leaders (especially the ladies, as they are the one's most likely to provide an alternative to the pros)

To add to an earlier post, the $28/hr is per household.  So, often that is two people together or $14/hr each (if they make the same or maybe $18/hr for one and $10/hr for the other).

Also, most of the other cuddle websites that are totally so-called professionals charge their providers 50% of what they get from the customers (check out the fine print in their websites).  So, it is a little more understanding why they charge around $80/hr (and that's the same no matter the provider.  Still way over priced for a job requiring no education or experience.

@Cuddlygal21 My comment was not based on one person but the many that I have read in this forum.  All if it reflects the same kind of reaction on dating websites.  I am well aware of the kinds of messages women receive as I have researched this very topic.  But the truth of the matter is that it's just as crappy for men on here but for totally opposite reasons.

You 'assume' that I want counseling.  I have had very little to say since it has happened and have spoke of it as much as I want to with my friends and family.  What I don't have access to is actually physical affection.  I had 3 days with my family and that was it.  What I wanted more than anything was just to hug it out with someone.  But once again, unless you have $80 to spend you are apparently not worth it. (How else can one read into that?) I can write and get my feelings out. I can't hug myself.  I myself can't make myself feel I am not alone in this.

I appreciate your help and advice.  But why don't you believe that I know my own needs?  Why should I not feel hurt when I ask for water but am offered bread?

Cuddlygal21

@NJCuddleDevil  I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying - and I can totally see how it's tough for both men and women on here (not talking about the pros). And to be fair, I wasn't assuming you wanted counseling - I was merely suggesting it as something to look into. Having been through twice what you're going through now - which is very fresh for you since it just happened in Nov - I was simply making a suggestion. I wasn't saying not to pursue the physical touch as well. I was simply saying it might be something that would help you. That was coming from a place of genuine empathy from me to you. And heck, I'd cuddle with you if I were closer! (Unfortunately I'm on the other side of the country.)

I never understood why some charge more per hour the longer you are there.
Example 1hr 80 2 hrs 200. I've seen stuff like that on many profiles. While some might have made a typo or realized it was mistake later and corrected it, some don't.

Isn't stuff supposed to not get more expensive the more you buy of it lol.

Mark

That definitely sounds like a mistake.

greenearth2

Lol I saw someone had 80 1 hr and 160 2 hr.
Like people can't do the math themselves I guess.

Cuddleready

I have not tried to sign up as a professional on this site, so I do not
know what the site is requiring or suggesting.  If the site is
suggesting a rate, then it is falsely biasing the market price for the
market on this site.  Also, it depends on where you live (as with all
jobs).  LA or NYC would be much higher than most cities and especially
small towns.  For true supply and demand, an overarching source, like a
website, should not be suggesting price.  The "pros" and clients should
be free to negotiate the price starting from scratch.

I hope everyone realizes that there are no pros out there feeling bad and lowering their prices due to any of the recent cost discussions on the message boards.

docgatorb

lol

@Morpheus "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."  -MLK Jr

Everyone has made good points on both sides.

So let's just agree to meet in the middle.  That's great if you can charge $200 an hour and still get customers.  Good for you.  I don't shame anyone for supporting themselves or for better point, making a living outside a company that doesn't give two s---- about you.

However some of us I think some of us would like to see the Uber of cuddling.  How about $30 an hour?  Not everyone wants a first class experience of cuddling.  Maybe we don't want to talk about our problems or perhaps we have none at all besides the lack of physical companionship.  We have no checked luggage.  These people would clearly not be career cuddlers but people who simply like to cuddle and could make a few extra dollars outside their regular job.  Lots of people do crafts and art and sell them because they love what they do.  If they make a profit they are happy.  If they simply only cover the costs of the materials they are just as happy as well because they are doing what they love and it doesn't cost them a dime.

 It's a shame that people are more willing to risk getting an STD than to platonically cuddle.  We wonder why there is so much pointless killing these days?  Maybe because we are too afraid to be intimate.  Too afraid to feel for other people besides ourselves.  It's so much easier to pump and dump.  To live in a virtual world of friends.  You can't love or respect other people without some form of connection.  This world is only getting sadder by the minute.

@njcuddledevil are you saying the higher the price, the better quality the cuddle will be?