@littermate thank you for the sarcasm.itvworks on other sites.keeps confrontation to a minimum.this really is not accepting community if you can’t listen to an idea without snark.and no i fob not have to put up with you and I do not need to be king.i just wanted to improve the experience.your snark ruins the experience.
You know I am a non-native speaker with depression and you old grumps criticize.this sucks.hooefully I will find a cuddle partner who does not judge so fast with hate.
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@Buckwheat2020 , you’re not alone in the way you feel, I just wanted you to know that. It does get tiresome with some members dominating the boards and responding to everything even if it doesn’t pertain to the subject. The site though in spite of some members does serve a purpose and I have met some wonderful people, so I’ll stay and just ignore what is bothersome to me. I just wanted to validate your feelings on the subject and I agree with you, it would be very nice if you could mute certain members.
@Buckwheat2020 was teasing. Didn't mean to hate. Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Truly.
How about Favorite Cuddle position , in profile facts .
This idea has probably been mentioned, but maybe a color distinction between men and women, especially in the visited you section. I understand why men may visit other men’s profiles, and that’s not an issue for me. I do it too. But without a picture i don’t know if i would click on the profile that visited me if i knew it was a man.
Not a big deal, but I’d appreciate it. Sometimes when i see someone visited my profile I’m hoping that it maybe someone I’m interested in cuddling before i take a look.
@Mark I would like if we could delete our posts rather than only having she ability to edit it
@pmvines Yeah, if I'm a dumbass, it's there forever. But it's kind of a good prevention method - I'm less likely to be a dumbass if I know that I can't delete my dumbass posts.
@BashfulLoner what about peeps that don't identify as either one? We need a rainbow.
@littermate as it currently stands you can edit for a certain period of time but can't delete so when it's a post I feel I made in error or have posters remorse I end up with no option but the blank post with dots lol
What is the meaning of the blank post with dots? I've seen that a few times @pmvines and not understood its function.
Just that I can't delete a post nor can I leave the message block empty . It requires at least 4 characters so I just hit edit , delete what I wrote , then add a few dots.
Oh, that's what those dots are. I said something dumb, now I've deleted it. I get it!!
You can do a single character and spaces, fyi.
Could we have a permanent option to edit, but only to add an edit comment rather than to delete ?
Removing the original item can make later reply posts look bad ; if they inappropriately criticise or endorse the now-changed earlier post.
@littermate I agree. The post is kind of permanent anyway. We should be duly careful with what we say. Moderators could take down anything really regretted.
@littermate i guess how people identify might make it difficult. I don’t know maybe it’s unavoidable that i have to click on a person I’d otherwise wouldnt
I often mistakenly click when scrolling across the "new cuddlers" list.
@Mark , I was searching for a particular cuddler who had moved and thus searched a 300 mile radius. Normally I have all Ethnicities selected, but because there were so many cuddlers on the screen I downselected the Ethnicity options filter to fewer Ethnicities and noticed two famous local cuddlers didn't show up. Then I looked at their profiles and noticed that both had no Ethnicity specified.
Through this process I discovered that if the cuddler doesn't specify Ethnicity, they won't show up in a search unless the searcher has every Ethnicity checked, including "Other". This is unfortunate for the cuddler who doesn't know that (and I'm guessing most don't).
My suggestion: Require cuddlers to select an Ethnicity (like you do for age) but add an option like "Don't wish to state" for Ethnicity.
Thanks, -11rollover
I beg to disagree. Ethnicity is not on the same order of priority as age. Yes it's useful for social policy and municipal planning re cost analysis and wealth distribution and certain benefits. But this is a social medium where people don't always wish to be scrutinized for their ethnic origin.
There are reasons individuals choose not to highlight their ethnic group. And as such it should remain as it currently is: a choice not an obligation of sorts.
I have personally chosen not to highlight my own ethnicity. For several reasons. One of which came as a reaction to being characterized and judged on account of it. The other reasons are deeply personal to me.
Initially I did check that box when I first joined the site as I did post pictures of myself. I changed my mind within a month of joining and unchecked that ethnicity box altogether and removed all pictures after a series of unpleasant situations developed.
I have since had no issues.
@Bles, I can tell your intentions are rock solid, but I don't think you understood everything I wrote above. I don't want to force cuddlers to actually disclose their Ethnicity. I wrote that there should be an option for "Don't wish to state" that you could select to not disclose your Ethnicity. Your profile has the same issue. I just tried it. When I search your city with all races selected, you show up. But as soon as I unselect any one of them, like "Other" for example, you no longer show up. Thanks, 11rollover
@Bles the point is that a professional could be eliminated from searches without realizing it. He included the proposal of having an option that basically says you wish to not answer. I would agree with this change and am going to check my profile, ha.
Some people may wish to filter Ethnicity for "nice" reasons. For instance if they felt they could not remain platonic, with a partner of a particular ethnic group.
@11rollover,@ubergigglefritz Thanks for your correction. It was an oversight in not seeing that stated option. However it also sounds like an algorithm issue that's related to how personal information is embedded in the site's software. If you wish to give that option to ethnicity then it should be given to marital status too. So how about you recommend that the site programmers reengineer their algorithms around how personal information is embedded in the system on each cuddler as it affects one's ability to search for pros and non pros alike. Again thanks for your correction. Sometimes tired eyes gloss in roaming. Not intentional.
@geoff1000 for some 'nice' maybe a well meaning intention. They are a number of persons who choose to do that based on their interest and past experiences.
Unfortunately in many cases it's not.
Is there any way for the site to give us an idea if a cuddler has read their message?:
When I search your city with all races selected, you show up. But as soon as I unselect any one of them, like "Other" for example, you no longer show up.
EDIT: Corrected the name of member quoted.
@11rollover Are you suggesting people who don't provide their ethnicity should actually show in results where the searcher is trying to only see people of a specific ethnicity? That doesn't seem ideal but I might have misunderstood.
If I'm X ethnicity and wish to look for other X-ers for cultural reasons, it's not helpful to see non-Xers in my results simply because they didn't want to disclose. Even less helpful is the potential for an awkward situation* that might come about as a result of you speaking to who you thought was an X but finding out otherwise later on.
*E.g. "So I actually thought you were X which was important to me because X-ers in this city tend to speak fluently in Y. That would have made it far easier when we would have explained the cuddle concept to my Mum upon your visit. So yeah, while it was fun talking for the last few days, I don't think we should have that cuddle after all. Bye."
@Mark that comment you cited was actually @rollover11's response to my post. Not mine.
So I'm not sure what I'm responding to.
Neither was I suggesting that anyone who does not provide their ethnicity should show up in a general search for the searcher looking for a cuddler of a specific ethnic group. That would be nonproductive.
My response to him was addressing his concern about not being able to find cuddlers within a specific search area. A problem he attributes to checking or unchecking any box on the ethnicity section of profiles. So I thought of the way personal information was programmed that may or may not have anything to do with how the search engines work. As in which persons show up in one's search radius.
I simply said that it should remain an option to choose to disclose or not.
He specifically argued that an option is given for persons to say I do not wish to disclose rather simply not checking any box at all.
But that comment you attribute to me is not mine. It's his. So I'm not quite sure if I'm the one that question should be addressed to. I personally have no issue with finding people in my search area. Persons on the other hand have told me they're not able to find me.
Sorry @Bles and thanks for pointing that out. I've updated my post so it responds to @11rollover.
I can understand "prefer not to say" ethnicity on a survey. However, a person's ethnicity will be obvious when they arrive to cuddle ; so if it is an issue for some people, it can't be hidden forever, and they are "false flagging".
If I am choosing a female cuddler, I probably shouldn't be interested in their sexual orientation ; but I can understand that a female cuddler might specifically want a straight female cuddler. Unfortunately, if we acknowledge the risk that a platonic intent can be broken by temptation, there can also be no guarantee that a person's orientation will remain constant.
I suggest lowering or eliminating the Max Price minimum ($80) in the pro search. Some people in my area charge less than 80 but those rates can’t be searched. In my area, I see people that charge as low as $40 but I haven’t check all profiles. Someone might charge less.