@nurturingman
The smoking and drinking ones are important to me.
I cannot, in any way, tolerate the smell of tobacco smoke.
And, I presume, there are others who have the same feelings for alcohol.
I agree about smells, but I would imagine that some smokers could manage to smell good for a cuddle session by practicing the hygiene that’s already expected:
Cleanliness and adequate hygiene is required by both parties. This specifically includes showering/teeth brushed within 12 hours of the appointment, wearing freshly laundered clothing, and no (or minimal) perfume/cologne be worn by both parties unless requested. — Cuddle Comfort client service agreement (https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/terms/client-service-agreement)
For smokers, I would say they might want to shower and brush their teeth closer to the appointment than 12 hours. I just wouldn’t rule out the possibility that a smoker could smell good for a cuddle session.
Likewise, most people who drink don’t smell like alcohol all the time unless they’re chronically intoxicated. I mean, for example, I have “Drinks: Socially“ on my profile, but I’m won’t be drinking before a cuddle session anyway, so it’s sort of irrelevant. I notice there’s no prohibition in the client service agreement against the use of mind altering substances, so I guess that means it’s up to each cuddle partner to decide whether they are OK with cuddling while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. If you wanted to change “smokes“ or “drinks” to “Likes to cuddle while under the influence,“ that would be another story! 😂
Looking at the fields again, I’m not sure it really matters whether or not I have children or want children; does it? Also, I’ve always found it hard to pick a favorite movie or TV show, and I’m not sure how much of that has to do with who I am as a cuddler. It’s slightly interesting trivia that gives you maybe a little peek into a person’s personality, but again, I don’t see what it has to do with cuddling. If you want to get to know somebody there are many other types of information you could share with each other, and if you want to share fun facts or interesting tidbits about yourself you can write them in your profile.
I know there is a URL you can use to search all of the discussion posts a member has made (putting the person’s username at the end of that URL), but I keep forgetting what it is, and I think it would be nice if it were simply a link on each person‘s profile.
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES, PLEASE!
And a way to filter out those with blank profiles would be nice too!
I think there are uses to all the fields currently available on profiles, even if they don't appear apparent. For example:
Car Owner - does this person drive? Could they drive to me to cuddle or would I likely have to travel? Smokes - if you are allergic or suffer from asthma/other health conditions you may want to avoid smokers, or simply if you just don't like the smell Ethnicity / Religion - whether this is seen as prejudice or not, it can give an idea on cultural compatibilities beyond just cuddling Drinks - if your nervous about meeting up you could go for drinks as an ice breaker and calm any nerves. Also serves as a potential talking point Fav X - shows personality and a good opener for starting messages Children - if you are cuddling with someone who has children (possibly in the house) and your not a fan of a screaming child maybe that would sway you whether you want to meet or not. On the other hand it could indicate nurturing personalities and may make you even more interested in cuddling with that person.
Overall I think every field serves a reasonable purpose and I wouldn't remove any.
It's intentionally a hidden feature. Promoting such a link on a profile would open yourself up for research by profile visitors. Some would hesitate to participate in the forum and freely debate ideas if they knew everyone who finds them in search could judge them, based on out of context posts at a glance, before privately reaching out.
@Mark ~ Thanks for that feedback/point of view. I've seen it mentioned before but didn't know it was a "hidden feature" (mums the word/it's our little secret). I don't think I'd mind if they looked me up in the forums first though. I mean if they made it through my profile only to not be able to deal with my forum participation... meh... probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. 🤷♀️
A non smoker can smell smoke a mile away. Please if you say you are a non-smoker, please be a non-smoker. Some of us have allergies or asthma that can be triggered by smoke. So NO I definitely want the smoker/non-smoker option to be there. Religion doesn’t matter to me I’m just here looking to cuddle with nice kind humans, I think they still exist.
I don't think I'd mind if they looked me up in the forums first though
I'm sure plenty of people wouldn't care but I suspect a notable percentage would. I fall into that category myself. Years ago I was on a website that linked to forum history at profile level. It was the sole reason I didn't join the forum.
I don't want someone's first impression to be disproportionately influenced by the subject of my last conversation. Just imagine your last few posts happened to be within a discussion on U.S. politics. Now your next profile visitor just unavoidably paints a picture of you with this unhelpful red/blue tint.
I took another look at editing my profile and found out many of the fields can be skipped altogether:
Movie/s and TV Show/s can be left blank.
This whole section can be skipped: smoking, drinking, religion, children, pets, and car owner. Apparently you don't even have to specify whether you can be host, guest, or public.
This whole section can be skipped: body type, height, and ethnicity.
What I found cannot be skipped are:
None of the fields in the "Facts" section, except for "Status" (blank, Single, In a relationship, Married, or Widowed) can be skipped; you must choose from a selection of genders for the "I'm a…" field, and orientations for the "Orientation" field. Props to the site designers for including so many genders and orientations! I don't think you can skip "Location," but I'm not sure. What I do know is I can't delete the text "Phoenix, AZ, United States" from that field.
"Gender" (Women, Men, or Everyone) must be selected. "Ideal days" and "Ideal times" can be skipped.
For now I've chosen to keep the appearance info, because cuddling does involve bodies, so I want people to know what kind of body they'll be cuddling. Interestingly, "Ethnicity" is under appearance, though to me it's more of a cultural thing. I will keep "White" there in case people (e.g. people of color) are looking for someone of a culture they can relate to. I'm also going to keep "Guest, Public" there because people need to know that, and it is searchable.
For all I know, everything I've said has already been said somewhere in these 59 pages of replies, so I apologize if I've been redundant.
@mark ~ I'm probably aligned more with the whole, "If they can't accept me at my worst they don't deserve me at my best" way of thinking than you are (or have more faith in people not holding my outspokenness against me), but believe you've probably put more thought into potential ramifications than I have too.
Either which way though, because you're the one who has the stance of, "No, that makes me uncomfortable." You win! I'm one of those people who firmly believes that the person who says, "No."/doesn't consent, should get their way.
Not to mention it's your baby. Who am I to tell you how to raise it?. 😉
Having a smoker/non smoker, pet owner/non pet owner filter would be nice.
Knowing if someone is a smoker or not is definitely important because sometimes if in a hotel or Airbnb, it's importsnt to know ahead of time if your potential cuddler smokes 420 or something (a lot of people who do say they like to do it while cudling) becjase it may not be best for liability reaons to have that smell linger near your place so yoj're charged for later on when they think you smoked in the room.
I definitely like learning about the other info, religion, etc. It's not about a dating website, but it helps you learn as much as possible about who you'll be engaged with in a pretty intimate encounter (cuddling is one of the most intimate situations that's non-sexual) and knowing this info ahead of time helps you feel more comfortable
@Lovelight THANK YOU. I've had such bad experiences because some of the people I'm cuddling with being a smoker. Especially 420, it gave me a really bad headache. If a cuddler likes to smoke, good for them, but I'd prefer to cuddle with people who don't smoke. A filter would really be helpful.
All of this being said, filters are a quick glance.
Everyone, myself included, is responsible for making their boundaries, needs, and wants known.
Filters are not communication.
This...
"Everyone, myself included, is responsible for making their boundaries, needs, and wants known."
And THIS...
"Filters are not communication."
YESSS!!! @CharlesThePoet 👏👏👏💓
but I do still like some filters. Like "Cuddles ______" or the "Pro/Not Pro" options ~ those are nice. But TBH, if "smokes" were added, I'd totally use it.
I would love to be able to send and receive short voice clips. Voice is a wonderful way to connect and without going off-platform.
Chris55555, , link I certainly agree with that suggestion. Because I can't see, hearing a voice would give me an added connection Beyond the written word.
I've heard a lot of new female members get overwhelmed with messages upon joining, and quickly leave after. Would it be possible to prevent incoming messages, until a user sends a message to someone else? I've seen it applied through Bumble specifically, if that works. I'm sure some long-time users wouldn't mind the option either.
Maybe a way to link a video into the profile pictures?
For me personally I like the questions on personal stuff.id like to know if potential cuddler smokes because I dont like the smell and a nice smell for me doesnt include that . Again it's nice to know weather they have a car etc ,can they get to you. Or vice versa ?
All this talk of putting videos in profiles inspired me to create one just to try it out— but when I pasted the URL of the video in the body of my profile, all it turned into was a clickable link. If I paste the same link in a discussion, it becomes a watchable video, like this:
In a discussion, you can use markdown, but in a profile, you can’t— well, you can, but it won’t be rendered; e.g., if I put a heading in a discussion by starting the line with a hashtag #️⃣, it will look like this:
But on my profile, the hashtag shows and the text is not stylized to make it larger and/or bolder.
In my profile now, I say “skip to ‘Booking a session with me,’” but I can’t give them an easy way to do so, such as an in-page jump-to link or even a hidden “spoiler” text they can skip or click to view, like this (created by starting the text with a greater than symbol [>] and an exclamation point [!]:
This is hidden or “spoiler” text.
They are all kinds of things you can do with markdown in discussions, and I’d like to see it enabled in the body of your profile.
Just a reminder that audio and video intros are a part of our roadmap. We agree it would be a great feature.
@mark are you also planning to enable markdown in profiles?
@mark thank you. I had not read the vision road map of the site. It’s good to know. I’m not in any rush…just crossed my mind. I appreciate what you all do here already to maintain this platform. It makes a difference in many lives. Creating community on and offline is no small feat.
@nurturingman that is an awesome intro video 👍🏼👍🏼
Tentatively yes and in a limited way. It's on the roadmap with research status so a final decision hasn't yet been made.
@mark thanks for answering, and so quickly! That shows me you’re following this discussion attentively, which is reassuring to see.
(And thanks, @Chris55555 , for the compliment. ☺️)
You're welcome. And yeah, regardless of how many posts here invite a response, every one is carefully considered.
@Mark AGAIN!!! YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!! I know I say this over and over and hopefully you don't get weary of the enthusiasm or think that I am just throwing clichés your way but everyday I have hugged you in my mind because of all of the beautiful connections you have enabled with your project here. Like @quixotic_life said we all have ideas about what might make it easier/more enjoyable for us and it is truly amazing that you are willing to take things into consideration. I mean it..... I am so thankful to you as a visionary and also the team you have that helps make it all happen. 😊😊😊
When I make my way to London you had better prepare yourself for a really long thank you hug because it has been years in the making!!!!
Thank you for the mind hugs!
I would love love love love love love this to the power of 100. Thank you @Mark! I’ve always appreciated how involved the community has been in the development of the site.