What kills a good cuddle?

Let me know your thoughts.
First off I have to say when the host jumps out of bed or off the couch soon as the alarm on their phone goes off and waits at the door. To have a great cuddle and that happens for me it just really kills the last hour(s) that was spent. A really good cuddle and I'm super relaxed and truly peaceful in my mind. And they act like I've turned into the plague in 10 seconds and I can't get out the door quick enough for them. Just calmly let me know that the hour(s) up and need to start thinking about wrapping it up. Kinda like morning coffee, it works on me kinda slow then I'm ready to walk out the door. Not saying I need 10 or so minutes to get moving but give me more then 1 minute to get up and get shoes on and have a long hung goodby if it all went well. Second I'd have to say when their phone goes off every 10 min and they have to see what it is. Gurr that really gets too me. I do bring my phone but that's only because it has my bank info on it and don't want to leave it in the car, but I can care less what it's doing or dinging for. I'm there for a purpose and that's to give my full attention to who I'm with.
Any thoughts or am I just being too picky??

Melancholy

I assume you're talking about cuddling with pro cuddlers?
Yeah being rushed out the door sucks. I wouldn't see someone again if they did that to me.

Yes pros

Rezz

Bad breath. If we are offering you gum or mints it could be something as simple as a nice gesture. Sometimes you need it, so please take it. If you're a smoker definitely take it.

Bad hygiene. Shower, brush your teeth and make an effort to wear clean and comfortable clothing to lounge in. Ask before you wear cologne. Some of us have serious allergies to fragrances.

Bringing negativity to the session. We all have bad days but leave it at the door and come in with a positive outlook. We are there to relax! 🤗

Totally understand how distasteful that experience must have been for you. I would suggest when you meet to discuss session boundaries with the selected pro cuddler, you express this concern to the cuddler. Perhaps they can turn the volume off and the vibration on the alarm instead.

Best of luck to you!

Gabriel2k

Sorry you had that experience. Like @NovaMona said, next session, talk it out, discuss boundaries and concerns. Ask if they can give you a heads up 5 or 10 minutes before time is up so y'all can ease out of it instead of having an abrupt stop.

KozyKim

I always set my alarm 10 minutes before the time is up so that we have 10 more minutes to cuddle. And they know it’s close. And I always turn my phone off and put it in the other room. But I let my cuddler know they can answer their phone because they are the one that are paying.

One time I forgot to set my alarm and I went over by a half hour. Even though it’s not the clients fault he didn’t offer me any more money and I don’t blame him but he actually gypped me $20 on expenses travels. And when he gave me gas gift cards that the hotel gave him. My prices were already $70 an hour. So there’s bad clients too. I was so hungry after my cuddle I said oh we should go get something to eat. He said no I got to get going. He didn’t even hand me 10 bucks to get some to eat. He said to me I can’t wait to see you again. I just bit my tongue. Trust me if I did I would get a cash app advanced plus I would count the money before the cuddle. But I don’t like to count the money before. I’m always assuming that they have the right amount. Well for me it’s live in learn.:)

JillianCuddles

@Rezz A lack of personal hygiene is definitely a big cuddle killer!

@mickey46834 On the whole alarm thing… I have a silent alarm on my watch that goes off 10min prior and then again at the ending time. So I can ask how they would like to spend the last ten minutes of their session, whether it’s a different position, staying where we are, or getting ourselves together to say our goodbyes…
9 times out of 10…my clients don’t feel the alarm and are not bothered by me gently telling them the session is coming to and end.
I don’t think I’ve ever stood by the door, waiting for a client to leave. I’ve always sat at the foot of the bed until they had gathered their belongings and have worked themselves to the door.
Sorry you’ve had to be subjected to that sour taste!

CuddleWho

next session, talk it out, discuss boundaries and concerns. Ask if they can give you a heads up 5 or 10 minutes before time is up so y'all can ease out of it instead of having an abrupt stop.

Fortunately I've only rarely had the experience described by @mickey46834. However, once it happens, the damage is done; I'm not going to rebook after that experience. What am I supposed to say, "Hey, clearly you were really eager to get the session over with as quickly as possible. Maybe next time you can pretend to not hate being around me?"

KozyKim

What’s the point in talking out the session if someone is that rude just to get you up quickly and see you at the door then they really don’t love cuddling. Anyone that checks their phone is not really being attentive so they’re not good cuddler‘s. If they have to check their phone for certain reasons they should extend the time so that you get what you need but I don’t think it’s good to check your phone.

I’ve heard so many stories from my cuddler is about bad Cuddles I’m surprised that someone doesn’t say something to the actual pro at the end at least. I mean if I get a bad meal and I spent money I say something. I’m not going to let my money be spent and have a bad session. What about leaving three or four stars and say that she was on her phone a lot etc… why do people have such a hard time confronting people. You don’t have to be mean you can just be a matter of fact. You could say to the person can I have five more minutes because you were on your phone a lot. But I would not want five more minutes with someone that wasn’t really into the cuddle anyway.

ubergigglefritz

The only thing that kills a cuddle for me (as a pro) is acting outside the platonic intentions. Odors don't bother me as much as most pros. Everyone has their own scent. 🤷‍♀️ And I'm there to listen, no matter what mood the person is in.

In regards to the alarm, it amazes me there are still pros who do that. I set mine for 15 minutes short of the session length, always, and have it set to a relaxing and not jarring tone. I'm not a minute watcher. The last 15 minutes are estimated.

ExoticLotus

Since I believe in the golden rule, “Do to others, what you like others do to you.”

I never use alarm, instead I use a one hour shamanic piece of music, and when it’s done I give extra few minutes to wrap up and ask if there’s anything more they like to do? Always have my cell phone on silent, only using it as a speaker and I rarely check messages or calls only if there’s an emergency. But u know what happens?

Clients as well, abuse that extra mile I try to achieve, many times I find them asking if I am busy or have another appointments?! Which is embarrassing, awkward and frankly none of anyone’s business, they abuse being nice..not all but it happens!

Tell ya what? I was even shy to ask for money before session..until someone had a session and ran away! Yes happened..

so as I go, I am learning..but when clients ask for their rights, in terms of focus, dedication and respect, we as Pros also are looking for same things… focus, respect and dedication in that particular time well spent together.

Cuddling is a consensual relationship, mutual which entitles reciprocation in all aspects. So next time, give what you want to receive and always share your feelings…by the end of the day, it’s not a hit and run context at all.

Gabriel2k

I agree with everything y'all are saying. Note, I wasn't referring to talking it out with the same pro that left him with such a bad experience. I was referring to the next time he has a session, with whoever it is, to let them know he's had bad experiences before and see if they can work something out to avoid a repetition.

The point of talking about boundaries with someone while in the process of booking, or when you meet in person is so that you are both on the same page and if you see they couldn't care less, then that's a clear sign to avoid that person and look for someone else.

quixotic_life

Yikes! I really hope these are uncommon occurrences for clients.

@mickey46834 ~ At first I was thinking that asking them upfront what their personal phone use might look like during a session seemed reasonable. But at the same time it could be off-putting.

Then I thought maybe during the booking phase one could state something along the lines of, "I understand you have boundaries and I assure you they will be respected. I also have a couple that I would appreciate being followed as well. One is to have a gentle warning about 15 minutes before our time is up, so I can begin transitioning myself back into reality and not overstay my welcome. Another is related to cell phone use during our session. I'd like if we both are fully focused on our cuddle session (not engaging with others during our time together). Are these doable for you?"

But I don't know, maybe this would come off poorly too. I hope you find something that'll work for you though.

I have several things.

1. Mentions anything sexual.
2. Dominates. By this I mean pulling me towards them and placing me in the position, rather than the two of us going with the flow. They do it so hard and rough too and it hurts.
3. Takes up space on the bed. Come on now. There’s all this space and you’re making me lay on the edge. Move over!
4. The person doesn’t have good hygiene.
5. Tries to flirt with me and/or actually flirts with me.

I’m sure there’s more for me, but these are what I can think of off the top of my head.

Ironman294

Please don’t ever have garlic in your food that day. No amount of gum or mouthwash will get rid of that smell. Lol. So hygiene is the most important thing. I don’t even mind the phone thjng every once in a while.

bekah_cuddles

The biggest mood killer for me is when they confirm they understand the rules/boundaries at the beginning of the session, and then spend the remainder of the session testing how far they can push those boundaries.

goodguy197636

Bad hygiene is bad. Also bad attitude/negative type person. Had a experience with a young lady where first session was awesome. 2nd session not so much. Had kinda bad vibes and about half way through started saying how a experience I have in outside world was beyond stupid and unnecessary. The only thing left was her calling me a stupid sob. The last 30 to 45 minutes was just laying there by myself and toward the end took something completely wrong of what I said. Completely different person. I hope and pray she's OK and it was just a bad day for her.

tacpmurg

@mickey46834 oh thats terrible! I cant imagine a pro wanting to leave on time like that, extremely rude. Whats a couple minutes after we spent a whole HOUR cuddling together!

@KozyKim oh absolutely! its so annoying when pros pull out their phone and text their safety friends to let them know I haven't murdered them yet, they could be a bit more professional and wait until AFTER the session!

@goodguy197636 unbelievable that happened to you, did she not READ your username?! it literally says "Goodguy!". You should totally tell us exactly what was said that caused her to flip out like that, I'm sure it was entirely reasonable! We should pray for her more.

Truly egregious examples of killing the cuddling mood. Personally what really kills it for me is when the pro cuddler is having a good time, not worrying about her boundaries being pushed, and gets paid the full amount. Really brings down the mood you know?

A pro tag on a profile here is just a payment, it doesn't mean there has been any training or qualifications or that they are a 'Professional' . I guess that's part of what kinda bothers me about someone watching down to the minute. Not saying that I should get an extra 10 min for free, but seems people are just into the money and not 100% into the whole process. Don't get me wrong I've had some amazing cuddles. Sure wish there was more of a selection in my area, but no one close at all that is active anymore.
I take a shower and use a low smell deodorant and clean clothes. So far I've been lucky and met up with clean cuddlers. No horror stories, but I like to talk a good bit before even meeting as to make it more comfortable, some do that some won't.

tacpmurg

@mickey46834 EXACTLY! I mean its not like anyone with any training or qualifications would watch the clock during a session! There are CERTAINLY no other professions based on time and emotional/mental/physical support that stops the session right on the hour!

Rai_C

@bekah_cuddles OMG! That has happened to me too! So many times I've had to remind people of the rules. Big pet peeve with me. I've canceled sessions before they've even happened because of the conversations beforehand. Don't tell me you know the rules then ask if I'm into Nuru massages 🤦‍♀️ Don't tell me you know the rules then ask if I'm going to wear lingerie 😒
Really though, that's the only thing that has ever killed my mood. They can talk too much, check their phone, odors don't bother me too much(never had that problem yet), but as soon as they start trying to cross the line... UGH! Total mood change! Turns from a relaxing time to me having to pay attention to everything and my brain turns on it's defense mode. It's exhausting really. I've never had to end a session because of it but I was definitely very close once and I probably should have. Lessons have been learned

@tacpmurg 100% agree, that was the whole point to the start of this.

tacpmurg

@mickey46834 Im so glad we could get all that in the open together and really express what kind of good kind understanding people we are deep down for all the pros to see!

There's a really good chance I won't be looking for anymore 'pros' after this. Just stands to reason that someone not watching seconds on a clock would be much more enjoyable for both people. It's just kinda turned me off to wanting to pay anyone to tell me the time. Also the prices are way to high around here being anyone can get a 'pro' tag and make money at it.

tacpmurg

@mickey46834 Understandable. I do not think pro help would be of any real use to you going forward anyway, best to stick to people who are really in your own mind set! A bubble of friendly people!

JohnfromVienna

Deleted, misread question.

nature700

For me, as a client to a pro, here are a few from experience:

• bad hygiene. I’ve had a few pros with really bad body odor. Really bad.
• bad breath. When I host, I always have and offer peppermints.
• smokers: I’ve had a few pros who smoke, so I ask that they don’t smoke beforehand. Those few have been kind and compromised. This has worked quite well.
• clock watchers or those that tell you that time is up and they seem rushed. This rarely happens, but when it does, it is disappointing. It’s better to give the client about 10-15 minutes notice.

Minestrone101

I haven't had any bad cuddling experiences yet. What I do find is that I have an iron arm that doesn't get tired or fall asleep lol. I guess it's the martial arts. Lol

I think different pros have different methods of timekeeping and ending sessions. Time does fly in cuddling and there's no centralized standard practice among the profession yet. But, when the time is up, then the time is up. Pros shouldn't be expected to spend more than 5 mins or 10 mins tops in transitioning since they may have other clients or another job or personal matters. Maybe you can communicate with your pro if you want to end it differently. It's one thing if they were trained one way but broke protocol or some law of ethics, and it's another that there's no universal industrial training courses in the field.

Also, I bet most of you wouldn't like your boss to ask you to stay late for work, and if you leave on time, they wouldn't guilt trip you into "working just for money." Nor would you ask a barber, massage therapist, or tennis coach to stay longer and chat with you - does it mean you or they don't care about the work? Not necessarily , but an extra 5 mins of work or traffic still takes away from something that someone else has going on imo - and we should be considerate of that too.

Finnegan2017

My experiences have mostly been positive, with one glaring exception. I booked a public session with a pro cuddler who proceeded to spend the entire time on her phone. She then blocked me.

Minestrone101

@Finnegan2017 That's straight up bullsh$t!