WOW, I thought I had a few not so good cuddles until I read the posts here. I had the Pro clock watcher once, we cuddled and she set the cuddle, I was the big spoon so she could watch her cell phone do the count down alarm screen as she sit it on the night stand. She would not talk and watched the phone the whole time, when the alarm went off she jumped out of bed and left like the house was on fire!! I have learned to do just 1 hour when meeting for the 1st meeting I guess I been lucky so far, I have had some great cuddles so far.
@mickey46834 This is a great topic for everyone.... all genders! You said....
Let me know your thoughts. First off I have to say when the host jumps out of bed or off the couch soon as the alarm on their phone goes off and waits at the door.
Maybe you didn't intend it to be ONLY for the Pro/Client connections (but now I see that is the turn it took)
I started typing and now it seems weird to redact so instead I will just say, bummer.... I have had things happen as an enthusiast that kills a cuddle and can totally relate!
Happy Friday to all and hopefully it doesn't kill the vibe for all cuddles pro or enthusiast. Its nice to figure out some of my own things that I needed to learn so like @Gabriel2k mentioned, we can have clarity about our wants and only connect with people who agree with them on both sides of the meeting.
@Emerald20772 2. Yes, good reminder. Though it doesn't ruin a cuddle entirely for me since I'll communicate how to properly request a position when they try it. It definitely can hurt. I might add that to my boundaries list discussed at the first session. 👍 3. I do this to clients ALL the time, lol. It happens because they're laying somewhere and I cuddle close to them. We slowly migrate in that direction as I am continually going TO them. I like it when they communicate if they're running out of space. I am wholly focused on the cuddle and sometimes don't realize the space. 😇
@mickey46834 I like seeing I'm not the only one who differentiates between "pro" and "professional". "Pro" means you get paid, "professional" means you are. 🤷♀️
@cylee1180 I love your presence in the forum and coming to the defense of pros. 💜 I really appreciate people who respect our time. At the same time, a good professional (in any industry) can hold their time boundaries without making it uncomfortable for the client (ie, provide adequate warning so as to naturally transition out) or making it obvious they don't care and once "clocked out" their emotions turn off (ie, at the end, they essentially throw the person out or rush out themselves). The connection built during the session should continue through and beyond the leaving portion of the session.
Actually, I have had physical therapy sessions where the therapist is obviously paying attention to the time and lets me know when we are done. They have other appointments, they don't have the luxury of running over. I think the notion of letting the client know 10 minutes beforehand that you're almost done makes a lot of sense.
A big loud fart
@SoulParaTodos I would prefer that to a silent one that creeps up on you gradually lol
Wow, reading about all these bad experiences I feel very fortunate that I have not encountered anything like this.
Over the past year I shared time with 6 pros one on one, a couple more pros in a group setting, and with several enthusiasts one on one. While cuddling always produces a certain level of “time dialation” (time flies when you are having fun) I have not encountered any cuddle partner who was abrupt when our time was up or who spent her time watching a clock.
I am thankful to all my cuddle partners for their calm and relaxing energy and the genuine connection, conversation, and moments of silent bliss we had during our time together.
@ubergigglefritz It's true! I think that's an issue that should be addressed through training or pro discussion boards. Maybe someone will have a podcast someday and maybe normalize these aspects of sessions so it becomes common practice - and develop a vocabulary for this.
While it's a bummer, pple shouldn't take it personally- a stranger you paid for a service shouldn't hold so much merit to your self-worth. They are helping you to find comfort or to meet touch needs ...but they're not your counselor or therapist or cheerleader - at least if you linger, help them wash the sheets or ask them about their day.
@cylee1180 "a stranger you paid for a service shouldn't hold so much merit to your self-worth" In this line of work, I couldn't disagree more. Your statement is an example of why we need at least two different terms for service providers in the cuddle industry. I appreciate your respect and compassion for cuddle pros. It's also true that your statement hurts my heart and how passionate I am about what I provide. My ability to have compassion and care for the person in my presence is absolutely imperative to the whole cuddle experience. To know that many people (not all) looking for this service are particularly vulnerable in these areas and deserve 100% care, compassion, conscientiousness, etc. You can't do all that while also having complete disregard for a person's self worth. 🤷♀️
@ubergigglefritz - It does sound like you are passionate about what you do and the impact it makes. Your cuddlers are lucky for this.
I also feel pple should have realistic expectations. I think some pple are looking for friends and others for some kind of pseudo-romantic (non-sexual) situation - imo if you're hiring a pro, you should expect the service first and a cordial/friendly relationship second.
If I go to a restaurant, I expect good food and good service first. If the waiter or waitress is friendly, maybe we'll have a chat here and there bc we're both there for a reason. But I don't expect to be drinking buddies with them, to keep them after the place closes, to text them every morning, nor for them to reaffirm my self-esteem. I think setting realistic boundaries and expectations is healthy for both parties.
I guess what I'm saying is that the client has a responsibility too to respect boundaries, avoid getting attached, and to practice healthy emotional hygiene as well. A big part of the contention on the forums imo are different or contrasting expectations on what pro cuddling is, it's value, it's price, and that it actually exists. If the enthusiast has realistic expectations of what a session entails, there will be less contention and anger on the forums imo. It's almost like some expect their problems to go away if they hire a pro.
@cylee1180 100% 👆 😁
@Emerald20772 I really agree with your list. I’ve experienced all those things. I had a cuddle where the guy said in a rough voice OK let’s spoon. Like he’s the cuddle Nazi.
Also I’ve heard that men have said that the cuddler just laid there and didn’t even cuddle them and then took their money. So I do agree with the one gentleman that says you need to go over what a Cuddles gonna be like with them.
My client ask what a Cuddles going to be like with me. I do tell them I prefer close cuddling. So I let them know that I’m engaged in the cuddle. But I always leave it up to them what kind of cuddling they want.
I think bottom line you should be looking for pros have karma, but there could be brand new cuddlers out there that have no karma and that are really good. But then you should do some video chatting with them and see if you have that great connection with them, not necessarily chemistry. I always hate when they say I want to see if we have chemistry. I feel like saying well this is not a dating site.
Spouse comes home, who is certainly not on board with their person cuddling with interweb strangers in their house/ bed
When it is so obvious that the pro cuddler is disinterested and appears to be wishing she was somewhere else. Very little conversation with short responses. Ugh. Fortunately, I have only had one of those. I guess it could have been my Eau De Toilete cologne.
@Btown: Ew! De toilet.
I’ll have to say I’m learning a lot on this thread thank you for posting it
@DaringSprinter Yes. it is a new product by American Standard.
@JohnR1972 I think part of the reason that you have such good experiences is because you’re a great communicator. Someone already feels cared for even before they meet you.
Well I've had some just HORRIBLE back pain for the last week to the point of not being able to stay in one position for more than a few seconds, I've barely even slept and when I do manage to get to a manageable level where I can sleep I wake up in pain again. I have joint flex on my back and am using a mechanical massager as I'm writing this. It's hard to get comfortable in a good cuddle position when I feel like a Mortal Kombat character ripped out my spine... or like Batman after Bane broke his back.
@KozyKim - awww thank you 😊
@KozyKim You're right about communicating beforehand. Sometimes, however, I've enjoyed the pro's personality so much and we got along so well, I booked them again even though the cuddling wasn't 100%.
The range of personalities one meets on here is really fascinating. I love hearing a cuddler's life story, learning the paths they took that eventually brought them here. Hearing their dreams, their visions, what they want to do in life.
The cuddling itself really becomes just the window dressing to the incredible "view" you enjoy learning about someone.
I only wish we could "mind meld" so it felt like we were old friends from the very beginning. That initial period of introductions I've always dreaded, and it sometimes felt awkward.
One thing that I only experienced once was a pro whose body language suggested they didn’t want to get too close until we knew each other a little better. That’s not cool when you’re paying for the time. I think you gotta be completely committed to cuddling a complete stranger once you are there and in person and past whatever filter you’ve put in place to select customers.
@dave31415 I agree! That person had no business being a pro. It reminds me of going to a restaurant and them being out of the main thing they sell - at lunchtime!
@Tom2019 "The cuddling becomes the window dressing to the incredible 'view' ". That is true for me sometimes and what a good way to put it!
I think everyone paying a pro wants to feel like the pro is having just as good a time as they are. They want the pro to feel like “OMG, I can’t believe I’m getting paid to do this. I wish this person could stay around for hours.” It’s not at all realistic to think that this is going to be the case all the time, or even ever. Nonetheless it’s want you want to believe. Anything that squashes that fantasy and brings you back to the reality that the other person really wants to stop is a bit of a downer. So I’d give this advice to Pros. Obviously, you don’t need to give people extra time. A deal is a deal. But don’t act like Fred Flintstone when his shift is over. Make it clear to them that you’re at time but give them the chance to break it off. Let them keep the fantasy that you would secretly prefer they stay all night. Cuddling isn’t quite like massage. It’s more symmetric. Plenty of people do in fact do it for free. So while you may in fact think of it as a job, that hopefully you enjoy, don’t make that any more apparent than you need to.
@dave31415 - very well said
@dave31415 💯⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
@tacpmurg It appears that your sarcasm was unnoticed by some. I enjoyed it even tho I am not sure which parts were sarcastic. I know not everyone wants to comment on sarcasm and I do think that is nice
@cylee1180 An iron arm that doesn't get tired or fall asleep sounds good for both people
@dave31415 I absolutely feel like that about my cuddlers. I love cuddling and I love to be with them. The only time that I’m glad the session is over when I feel like someone is thinking of me more than just a Platonic Cuddling Friend. They haven’t really cross boundaries but I get a creepy feeling. Maybe I’m alone in this I don’t know. But when you feel like you have to have your guard up it’s not very comforting. But for those amazing clients and friends that are affectionate and warm and fun, yes you never want it to end.
How about when room service walks into the room unannounced?! 🤷♀️🤪🤣
I am glad I read this. I need to find another way to end my sessions. i set an alarm on my phone and unfortunately my phone is not usually close enough i can turn it off without leaving the bed. I will say however i don’t rush people out the door and i am always grateful for long hugs once the session is over.
to answer your question the only thing that has ruined a cuddle for me is people pushing limits. it really does change my mindset of the session and leaves me feeling like i am protecting myself rather than feeling a persons touch needs. We all read the rules… those rules apply to everybody don’t ruin a good thing.