True karma just helps to prove someone is real and not in some other country. But far as how good they really are there are a lot of factors. Personally I won't give karma till the 2nd visit. (Which so far none have been worth the money spent ((besides one)) so a 2nd visit just isn't going to happen), Just like a restaurant I won't say it was great till at least 2 visits.
So obviously things like pushing boundaries and poor hygiene can kill a good cuddle as others have said. But one thing that tends to get to me during a cuddle session is when a client rants and raves about another cuddle therapist and how great they are but doesn’t give me any positive feedback during the session. It definitely leaves me feeling insecure and unappreciated and like they would rather be seeing them instead of me. To be clear I don’t mind if someone mentions another cuddle therapist in a positive light but someone who spends a significant time focusing on that person to the point where it’s clear they would rather be with them definitely makes me feel uncomfortable.
@xandriarain I think if a cuddler mentioned how great another cuddler was, but didn’t say anything about me, that would def be hurtful.
@xandriarain I do appreciate exactly what you mean. However, when I read your post my first thought was, "That's a Thing. I don't know what Thing it is, but it sounds like a Thing to me."
Having pondered it for a moment, it occurs to me that the client may lack intimate relationships with whom he can discuss his amazing experience. Cuddles, as you know, can be transformative and when something like that happens you are desperate to tell somebody. If they have nobody to tell, it builds up until it all comes rushing out when they find somebody they can tell - another professional who they trust enough to talk to.
Just an hypothesis that would only apply sometimes in any event. But if it's true, then it's a minor compliment to the professional.
For reference, the definition of professional is getting paid to do something. The connotation is that they follow a set of standards and are skilled, but that is not strictly necessary.
It's natural to need validation, especially in the situation described. I try to remind myself that it is both true that I am not perfect / that there are ways that other professionals excel above me AND that I am awesome in my own ways / that I offer something unique that I don't believe anyone else does. In addition, that everyone is looking for something different and that will result in having different professional preferences. Some people will prefer other professionals, some will prefer me, and there are many who enjoy all different kinds of professionals and will appreciate me for me even if I don't reach the level of other professionals they have seen. 💜
@xandriarain Strange, rude and uncalled for. CuddleDuncan does make a good point tho.
@zerocantaloupe So what your saying is just because they have a 'pro' tag AND you have to pay for their time means they are worth the money paid no matter what?? Nope.. can't agree with that at all.
@mickey46834 All I said is that someone is a professional if they make money doing something, but the word is no guarantee of quality. Caveat emptor and invisible hand and all that jazz.
@xandriarain The cuddler may be too shy to tell you something they want directly to you so they convey it indirectly by telling you about their favorite cuddle session. I believe it would stop them dead in their tracks if you ask them what that pro did that you are not doing. I think you would either get an answer or someone who moves on to a different subject. In short, the question is a polite way of saying tell me what you want that I am not doing or shut up about your ultimate cuddle session.
I always ask my clients without naming names what was your favorite cuddler pro like. I’m always happy to hear their stories. Because then I can learn something. I hope that’s not bad to steal some peoples good cuddle moves. Most of the time they don’t have much to say. Funny if I didn’t want them to say anything they probably would.
All of the pro cuddlers I've been with have set the alarm about 10 minutes early so we can gradually get up on time. The only bad cuddle experience I really had was the pro had me lay on her stomach and I could tell she was texting on her phone and also she told me she had a can of Mace in case I did anything crazy. Didn't leave her karma never called her again
@KozyKim that's actually essentially one of my screening questions. 😇
@ubergigglefritz May I steal that question, Because one of my clients said I should have a questionnaire. Thanks in advance if you say yes
The Thing is I know there’s better cuddlers out there than me. I am a newbie and I’m learning and working on it. Sometimes I refer my clients that are further away to somebody that I know is really good.
I think it was @CuddleDuncan who said in another thread that cuddling is actually more emotional than physical and I completely agree with that assessment.
I sometimes feel like I am living my life with “shields up” (to use a Star Trek metaphor). During a cuddle, it is my rare opportunity to let my shields down in the presence of another person. Doing so makes me feel emotionally vulnerable and requires a high degree of trust that a relative stranger (someone I only know through forum discussions and private messages) will not try to take advantage of me in any way or repeat anything I may share with them during a cuddle.
I can only speak for myself, although I suspect a lot of men feel the same way. It’s not that I / we ever intentionally plan to overshare during a cuddle but that is a risk of letting our shields down and truly opening up to someone. From what I have read about the effects of Oxytocin, it can cause, or at least contribute to, people trusting someone more than they would otherwise. The US military even tried to make a synthetic Oxytocin that could be used as a tool for interrogations - but I digress.
Hearing a cuddle partner (pro or enthusiast) sharing things they shouldn’t be sharing would ruin a cuddle for me because it would instantly make me feel like I had to be on guard about anything I shared with them.
I’ve never really thought of it that way. Honestly there’s no names exchanged. I have a doctor friend who tells me about his clients but I don’t know anything about them. He keeps everything confidential I’ll never know their names or who they are. But he tells me for purposes that will help me. I would never share intimate things about another cuddler that I’ve been with but I understand where you’re coming from. Very few of my cuddlers care about the emotional connection. it seems most of them were there for physical touch. I long for the one that loves the emotional connection. Those are my favorite. Thanks for your input @JohnR1972
A breach of all rules and boundaries!!!!!
I message a few times then when the booking is made I ask if they have a preferred way of talking back and forth in case I get lost trying to find the house or I break down. Can't always trust this site to be quick enough for that. We've shared names, which I let the other person to choose to do that. I'm totally ok with it, it's nice to have a name to call someone instead of cuddlebug4967392 or what ever. Sure wish there were more around here, or at least some of the ones in the thread here were closer. Seems to be a lot of nice ones here. I mentally cuddle with people, the physical is a bonus.
@KozyKim - I did not mean that directed at you (or anyone in particular for that matter). It was more of an observation that if something was shared that came across as violating a confidence, it would have a chilling effect on me and ruin a cuddle.
With that said, I have also had experiences with a doctor or a co-worker (I work in a field where we routinely handle federally protected information) can share about an incident in a way that still protects the anonymity of the person(s) involved.
@KozyKim absolutely. Someone's response to the questions what they have liked the most in prior cuddle sessions and whether anything could have been better both can tell you a lot in regards to whether they're a good fit for you or not. 💜
@KozyKim @ubergigglefritz - just to clarify I do not have any problem with the questions about what someone liked (or didn’t like) in other sessions. I apologize if my comments came across that way.
One point I would like to stress is. I have never had a bad cuddle session, just some are better than others.
I understand why people get upset when asked what they are going to wear, but one time someone cuddled in something that felt like burlap from neck to ankle and was long sleeve. There was zero skin contact other than hands. It did not feel much like a cuddle session to me. I enjoyed the company but went in other directions next time. I have seen some that list right on their page what they will have on.
Another experience was from someone that came straight from their outdoor job on a warm day. There was a very earthy atmosphere while cuddling that day and her hair felt like it had not been washed lately.
Both of these situations were years ago and very rare occurrences I'm glad to say.
When the alarm goes off and it sounds like a freight train. haha
@Buck you should state in your profile that you will be freshly showered before a cuddle and would love if the other person was as well. Or offer them a chance to freshen up in the bathroom.
@bsruce I used to use Virtual Origami by Japanese Telecom for my alarm tone, but the beginning is very startling when unexpected.
@zerocantaloupe I have mine gradually increase volume. I can't even hear the start... 😇
As a newbie, I appreciate this forum and the informative responses. This has definitely helped me accommodate cuddlers needs/preferences 🤗