@GreyingBear said "This is one of the grossest things I have read on these forums."
Really? What's gross about it?
I'm just guessing, but I think the "long track record of success" implies a failing at some point.
@Tom2019 No, you'll be glad to know the track record starts from birth.
@FitSmartCuddler The nieces will be even gladder.
well, I do appreciate the feedback, both the good and bad... I hope it will open men up to at least consider it if nothing else. I will not force or coerce anyone. I just thought this might be good to get people to realize if you all truly want is to cuddle and not have it go more than platonically there is an option. but again, everyone has their preference and good for them.
@Tom2019 said "The nieces will be even gladder."
What's your point?
@FitSmartCuddler There's no point. Glad to read you don't devolve into a slobbering, grabby sex fiend, I guess. I can't imagine that would be very pleasant for the women folk.
I think pple need to stop the witch hunt for @FitSmartCuddler and not read too much into a small thing. It may not be conscious act, but it's 3:1 or 4:1 now. Just chill, please.
Thanks, @cylee1180. It's nothing new--I've posted here before and been on the receiving end of the witch hunt. :-)
@FitSmartCuddler It feels like a playground. I kinda see when specific keywords set pple off, and then it ignites an emotional response. But 4:1 is never a fair fight...especially without evidence and without actual reason to me.
No hate to anyone on the forum. Just gotta call a deuce a deuce. Everyone have a good Hump Day. Drink some more pumpkin spice or beef stew. Lol
I've cuddled with both men and women. I'm certainly not gay, or bisexual even. It's purely a platonic thing for me, and I don't see it as cuddling with another man, I only see it as sharing compassionate, loving touch with another human being. @KozyKim your son's profile is so cool! That's genius for sure.
My first professional massage ever was done by a dude--it was a gift from my sister. I was hesitant at first, but he was fantastic! I even went nude, and he massaged my tush (keeping the naughty bits covered with the sheet, as required). No problem!
Cuddling was described in these forums by a female pro as "very intimate." I don't want to be "very intimate", even "platonically," with another man--thanks, but no thanks. But I can appreciate and even admire men who can get beyond this and cuddle other men platonically.
I'm pleased to see this thread. It's been on my mind for a while. Homophobia gets in the way unfortunately. Men are moving past that, and I'm encouraged. I mean, this could go beyond saving a ton of $.
"Homophobia" is defined as "dislike of or prejudice against gay people," and that's not what's going on here. I don't dislike gay people--on the contrary, I'm extremely equal-rights and equal-respect for all, including the LGBTQ community. I just don't want to cuddle with them.
homophobia, culturally produced fear of or prejudice against homosexuals that sometimes manifests itself in legal restrictions or, in extreme cases, bullying or even violence against homosexuals (sometimes called “gay bashing”).
The term homophobia was coined in the late 1960s and was used prominently by George Weinberg, an American clinical psychologist, in his book Society and the Healthy Homosexual (1972).
Although the suffix phobia generally designates an irrational fear, in the case of homophobia the word instead refers to an attitudinal disposition ranging from mild dislike to abhorrence of people who are sexually or romantically attracted to individuals of the same sex.
Homophobia is a culturally conditioned response to homosexuality, and attitudes toward homosexuals vary widely across cultures and over time.
—excerpt from the Encyclopedia Britannica online
So just to make sure I understand…
Acrophobia = Fear of heights Arachnophobia = Fear of spiders Claustrophobia = Fear of confined spaces Herpetophobia = Fear of reptiles Hydrophobia = Fear of water Nyctophobia = Fear of the dark Xenophobia = Fear of strangers or foreigners Homophobia = an attitudinal disposition ranging from mild dislike to abhorrence of people who are sexually or romantically attracted to individuals of the same sex.
Cue the Sesame Street Music, “One of these things is not like the others…” 😂
Seriously, it looks to me like someone, 50+ years ago, made up a new word that violated the long established meaning of “phobia”. Off the top of my head, I cannot think of a single other word ending in “phobia” that means anything other than “fear of”.
@DaringSprinter, that seems like a reasonable description, but are you suggesting that the lack of interest in cuddling with other men constitutes "homophobia"?
@FitSmartCuddler: That's only an excerpt. If you want to see what the Encyclopedia Britannica suggests regarding the relationship between homophobia and comfort with physical contact between men, you can click the link (the words in blue) and read the full entry.
@JohnR1972, it isn’t the fear of gay people, as I understand it, it’s the fear of being perceived as being “homo” oneself because of that culturally conditioned “abhorrence” of people with same sex attraction. @DaringSprinter’s link is super helpful:
“Heterosexuals and homosexuals wishing to be thought heterosexual are compelled to avoid associating with anything coded as homosexual. This is accomplished through the repeated association with cultural codes of heterosexuality and disassociation from codes for homosexuality. Conversely, the suspicion that someone is homosexual often is cast upon whoever displays behaviour gender-coded appropriate for the opposite sex. For men, competitive team sports, violence, cars, beer, and an emotionless disposition have been associated with masculinity (and thus heterosexuality), while an appreciation of the arts, fine food, individual sports, and emotional expressionism has been associated with homosexuality.”
That internalized homophobia can even manifest as feelings of shame and lack of self worth for queer folks themselves.
Seems like a valid usage, even if it’s a much more complex concept that the others. But isn’t that the business of academics? 😉
@DaringSprinter Awesome information, thank you for sharing!🤩
@FitSmartCuddler Awesome thank you for sharing the process of you receiving a “fantastic” massage experience from a man! I am happy that it was a positive experience! Also thank you for the shoutout as I at least “periodically” cuddle men too. I understand what you explained in terms of cuddling, we all have preferences that should be respected and “to each their own”.
@SuperManCuddles: I'm a nerd who reads encyclopedias, and as such I'm always happy when an opportunity to share information presents itself! Thanks to you and @AintMisbehavin for appreciating my link.
@CuddlesByDeep Exactly 💯% agree and the same experiences!
@KozyKim I checked out your son's profile and I happened to notice it looks like he's trying to sell services but isn't a tagged pro. I won't report it because I figured maybe you can catch him to have him fix that before the mods see it.
@Moxytocin I saw that too but when I checked it, he says at the bottom of his profile that he won’t charge until he applies and also has more karma
@Sheena123 Oh! It might have been helpful if I had read the entire profile. Lol (I can now see how clients miss things 😂). He might want to move that to the top then.
@AintMisbehavin
“ it isn’t the fear of gay people, as I understand it, it’s the fear of being perceived as being “homo” oneself because of that culturally conditioned “abhorrence” of people with same sex attraction.”
Thank you for that clarification. That makes sense to me. I had always thought of the word as meaning “fear of gay people” (per the traditional usage of “phobia”) and that never made sense to me.
@Cuddle_RN "Or, there are problems in their relationship and I'd be enabling them to stay in unhealthy relationships by meeting their cuddle needs." I think you're right, cuddle therapy does enable people to stay in an unhealthy relationship. But it might also help them to stay healthy until they are strong enough to leave that relationship. Respecting your choices of course.
@Tom2019 @taco_libre LMFAO 🤣🤣🤣 In the beginning guys kept trying to do this with me all the time 🤣🤣🤣 I found it endearing and oh so silly to have been treated so…naively. But hey, the world doesn’t seem to wanna stop treating kindness as weakness 😂
In the animal kingdom we define this as a “mating dance” 😂
Also, I find PLENTY of evidence daily to disprove that culturally we are intolerant of homosexuality, or any of the other “alities” people are now quite literally “subscribing” to. It’s a heavily funded industry and it’s not going anywhere.
Never before has the world been more accepting of diverse types of relationships. The fact we are even able to discuss this as a “topic” is proof enough of it.
What I find most perplexing is how many still are working desperately to CONSTRUCT these relationships, within the confines of the very institutions and “systems” they all claim to have been/still are “oppressing” them. Are our minds really free enough yet to be able to just let go of the “oppressive” constructs altogether? Why do individuals even need the approval of institutions, companies, platforms, governments, other individuals etc etc etc?
In the famous words of Elsa from Frozen, “Let it go”. Or as Bob Marley would say “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.”
Omgosh I could go on and on 🤣