😶
One thing no one will ever bear witness to me advocating for, is lies.
And you have a great day @tinc
Citing “proofs” and “definitions” whether written in law, encyclopedias or otherwise, only indicates how little thought people engage in any spirit of goodwill. I used to do that too until I realized I wasn’t holding MYSELF accountable for what was actually going on inside of ME…mind, body, and spirit.
Everyone has every right to do themself. Nobody has any right to impose themself on anyone else whether it for a good cause or not. Including and not limited to myself. Nobody gets to appropriate my story or redefine it as they see fit. Nor does any doctor, group of doctors, family member, religious affiliation etc etc etc. I bear that responsibility SOLELY MYSELF.
@tinc Everyone watched as you gave your opinions and some asked for you to clarify and/or asked you questions. You attacked and called names and at best, were evasive in regards to the questions. Everyone was polite to you but you returned that politeness with disingenuous and false statements and assertions, most of which had nothing to do with the questions raised. The fact people responded negatively to you might have to do with how you attacked people instead of engaging in a civil manner. Don’t cry bullying when your bully pulpit tactics instigated this.
This reminds me of a previous thread we had with somebody on the spectrum where the absolute worst thing to do was to keep engaging, because they essentially couldn't stop defending themselves. The ensuing flamewar had people quitting the site forever. I hope everyone can just step back and stop responding here if that is at all possible.
Oh your one of those people…… I’m having difficulty following your points, i also didn’t know you shared your story. @tinc help me understand your burden please……
@cde123 you are correct. Everything is off the rails and there is no reason to pursue an understanding when none is forthcoming.
Far from burdened @BashfulLoner but thank you.
I decided thankfully that life and the world is confusing enough and getting back to basics was my only proven method of eliminating unnecessary confusions from what is otherwise a beautiful life.
The state of my mind is and has always been directly correlated with the state of my body and shifting my focus from the confines of my mind, to inside the expansions of my body has been the most illuminating process of my life. It’s also one the relies on only myself to access and improve.
Thanks again ✌️
And yes thank you @cde123 this will be my last post.
Appreciate the mediation 👌
I have no intentions of throwing more logs on what seems to be a dimmed fire. So instead all I'll say is this thread can remain, nor will anyone recieve a reprimand, as long as the argument here stays buried. Civil debates are fine and all, but the second things escalate to assumptions and passive aggressive attacks are when you know it's gotten out of hand. Remember that we have all kinds of beautiful walks of life on this site. Be mindful of that, be accepting of that, and treat others with the dignity you want to be shown. If you wish to discuss the actual topic of this thread, please proceed. However please take any comment on most recent pages to DMs. Thank you. ❤
Thank you @Shake49
Ok back to OP and thread. After 127 votes in the poll from FORUM participants looks like 3/4 of votes , picked that " men platonically can cuddle men and not have to be anything more than that" and that includes those who voted that "depends on boundaries" which boundaries and consent are very important values on this site. That's encouraging in my opinion. It seems like a pretty significant and positive response to men cuddling men. That's how I see this thread. 😊👍
As far as other thoughts posted. I don't know why on the forum we as a community get so hung up on profiles that aren't active. If someone hasn't been active for a period of time , IDK, like a month or so, why would someone message them and even more so why would someone expect a response? I really have never comprehended this concern. 🤔
As far as the "single" comment about why it matters? The site asked me that on my profile when I filled it out. I didn't give it a lot of thought. Many discussions over the years on these forums people have explained why they will or won't platonically cuddle married folks. IDK, either way people make pretty good responses why they will or won't. I wouldn't want to cuddle someone who is uncomfortable being with me.
Sometimes we as a community portray like its nearly impossible to find any peeps here to meet and cuddle. I'm just one of those members who can say its not that impossible. Look at the many successful cuddling profiles here. There's a lot of cuddling going on folks ! 🤗
@OhioMike here here
@OhioMike said "Sometimes we as a community portray like its nearly impossible to find any peeps here to meet and cuddle. I'm just one of those members who can say its not that impossible. Look at the many successful cuddling profiles here. There's a lot of cuddling going on folks ! 🤗
My impression that is all of the "successful cuddling" is a result of paying for it. It shouldn't be surprising that someone can get cuddling (or just about anything else) if they're willing to pay the asking price. There seems to be very little "enthusiast" cuddling going on. I'm starting to believe it's close to nonexistent.
@FitSmartCuddler. While I respectively disagree with that impression, I easily acknowledge that members here face challenges meeting enthusiasts. If I’m the outlier here than that is indeed sad 😞
I agree. I have to say, it rubs me the wrong way a little when I see the amount of straight guys who exclusively want to cuddle with women. Makes me think they're getting something more out of it, though part of me also gets that some men might not feel as comfortable cuddling other men, I don't know.
I’m not sure why people get upset or puzzled as to preferences to why people cuddle with whom they want? I thought this site was supposed to be non-judgmental and welcoming and tolerant. You cuddle who you want to cuddle and leave everyone else alone. Not sure why there’s a thread every two weeks about why so and so won’t cuddle others they don’t want to. And then their preferences and beings are questioned, prodded and poked and told they are intolerant. It’s so tiresome and bullying.
@supadupa: It's because people keep complaining that the type of cuddle buddy they prefer isn't available, then screaming in horror and fury when anyone points out that they can cuddle with someone they don't prefer.
It's a weird response. Leads to threads trying to figure out what the heck is going on and hopefully calm the response down at least a little.
@DaringSprinter i think you’re conflating two or three different groups. There have been people that started threads saying they can’t find and then people say cuddle outside your preferences then maybe. Which is fine to suggest but if they say no they get prodded and poked for being a bigot basically.
Then you have a group that complains about men and why they won’t cuddle with men and that they are insecure or closeted. And the only reason they wanna cuddle women is because they want more.
Then you have people who complain there are not enough cuddlers and why men won’t cuddle men and that they are insecure and then many pile on and call them homophobic.
It’s fine to suggest cuddling outside your comfort zones, but if they say no no reason to continue to keep prodding and poking but it’s you’re right to do so, but comes off as indeed bullying when shaming someone is considered verboten.
@supadupa: I'm pretty sure it's the people who respond to "you can cuddle a buddy who doesn't meet this one preference" with horror, disgust, rage, etc. that inspire threads like this one. Just that one group of people.
The ones who shrug and say "yeah, I guess I could, but I don't want to"—surely they don't get people wondering why they're so intensely and passionately opposed. In their case it's obviously just a preference, not a... I don't know, an allergy or something.
@DaringSprinter it seems to only be directed at men who won’t cuddle men. And people who express hostility to disgust is unnecessary really . They can just say no thanks, but I have seen threads that tell them they are bigoted or insecure.
One thread a female enthusiast/pro said to her cuddling is platonic sure but if for free she would want to be attracted to the guy and if professional there would still need to be something they like about the potential client (if she is reading this forgive me if I’m getting the second part slightly wrong) but only one person mildly voiced any rebuke. Everyone didn’t tell her she was insecure on why she wouldn’t cuddle women or try and make her change her mind over and over again. But it’s to be expected. Anyway have a great day hope all is well m, genuinely.
@supadupa: I remember that woman. I was asleep when she commented, but I saw the thread later. Gross. There are all kinds of attraction, but she definitely seemed to mean a kind that's not appropriate for this site! I was disappointed in the lack of response, but I suppose it makes sense—culturally it's mostly men who've been conditioned to think affection with others of their gender would make them homosexual, unmanly, disgusting, etc.
Men are the ones most likely to respond with deep negativity to the suggestion that they might settle for a cuddle with someone who isn't their preferred gender. Unfortunate, but true: on average, people of other genders don't get nearly so worked up about it.
Thanks for the good wishes, by the way. I'm having a good day. Just about ready to fall asleep.
I have never cuddled with a man, but I would. I’m just scared (like being robbed or physically harmed or something else.) I would like to know what it’s like though.
Coming to the site as an Enthusiast can be difficult even though that's how the site started out. Typically, it can help to first meet with a few Pros to get legitimate Karma from established site members before trying to strictly meet with others who don't charge. At the end of the day, it's meeting strangers on the internet and because there isn't any validation done when signing up, part of having multiple Karma is other people vetting you are who you say you are and you can be a safe person to meet. I won't go into all the ways things can and do go wrong, but the general gist is just coming to the site doesn't mean just anyone is going to readily agree to meet you. Add to it, while most men prefer to cuddle women, most women prefer to become a Pro and charge to do so. This drastically limits the number of women Enthusiast on the site and can limit the number of available Enthusiast site members to meet with... it still happens, but to a far fewer degree than meeting with Pros.
[nevermind]
I empathize with your desire for platonic physical contact, Snow Wizard. It's understandable that you wish more women and men would be open to you. BUT, I also would steer away from saying that if someone doesn't "feel it" that it's because of a failing of theirs. We truly have to respect other people's preferences and find ones that match ours. @SuperManCuddles is an extraordinary human, and has spread love and affection everywhere he goes. (@JBearz, I hope you get that piggy back ride. I'd offer, but I'm pretty sure you'd crush me...LOL). But other men who'd rather not cuddle men should not be asked to defend that choice. I know I wouldn't want to defend my own preferences. Hang in there, be open and respectful, and I bet you'll find that cuddle partner (who doesn't have to be convinced!)