Deposit Paying.

jabraham96

Hey everyone, I hope all is well with everyone. I was curious to know how everyone felt about paying a deposit before meeting a pro cuddler or enthusiast. Are y’all comfortable paying a deposit or not. Because I’ve had people try to finesse me with the deposit scams but I’ve also had read some of pro cuddler’s karmas and they turning out to be legit. So I want everyone’s point of view (POV) , on this topic if you all don’t mind.

Hamtaro1

I typically pick people within 20 miles to avoid a travel fee.

I think it's understandable to have a deposit. A cuddler requesting a pro can also finesse and cancel last minute or just not open the door. The Pro would have waisted their time and resources for someone who didn't want to commit.

Melancholy

I don't like deposits if it's someone I've already seen before because that means they don't trust me and cuddling without trust totally sucks.
But if it's someone who has never seen me before then I can understand the desire for a deposit and I might do that but only if they have a lot of karma and have been here a while. If it's someone brand new then no way would I trust them with a deposit.
The site won't help me get my money back

CuddleDuncan

Enthusiasts are not permitted to charge. If an enthusiast asks for a deposit, Report them immediately. Only accounts with the pink 'Professional' tag may charge.

This post may help you to decide if the professional is legit:

• How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler

Some very respected professionals charge a deposit - It's not inherently dubious. But yes, you should be careful because it is also one of the commoner scams on here.

The scammers usually get caught and banned pretty quickly, so your first defence is not to consider a deposit with a professional who is very new to the site.

Sheena123

A lot of pros do charge deposits for legit reasons. Most of the time wasters try to quickly make a booking just so they can try to get the pros number and then cancel the booking. By adding in a deposit after the booking is made, they are committing to the cuddle.

I just charge a deposit if you are new to me and over an hours travel away. We meet at a cafe or public spot to get to know each other before the cuddle and I don’t charge for that time.

Every pro is different. And yes, if they are an enthusiast, they shouldn’t be charging. I do know some enthusiasts that talk together and come to an agreement on paying for a cab or something, but deposits and paying for cuddles are only supposed to go to Pros.

Bear

What is pro cuddlers I have usually chosen ones that my intuition connects with. When they charge a deposit I usually don't look into them too much.

CuddleWho

I lean towards avoiding deposits, especially with someone who is new and/or has no karma. It’s likely I’ll close someone’s profile immediately if it mentions a deposit. There are just too many scammers and flakes on the site to send someone money before you meet them.

But not always. If someone has plenty of positive karma, or if I don’t have tons of options in my location and feel alright with risking some money, I may be willing to pay a deposit.

GreatHornedOwl

On this site (as opposed to some others), The odds against any Pro being a scammer, are fairly high. There may be a few, but their accounts are quickly deleted. They certainly cant make a living scamming us.

carrieanne

I’m curious about this topic. If you do pay a deposit and then you cancel within a few hours of a session, and do this more than once on the same initial deposit, do you understand that’ the Pro keeps the deposit? That’s basically what it covers. Cancellations and time/$$ lost.
I’d like to hear what you think!

spacecraft

Thanks for this thread. I’m pretty new to the site so I do understand the concern from an enthusiast’s stand point with a deposit. At the same time, I’ve been hesitant to accept cuddle requests from anyone over a half hour away.

Even more than the worry of someone who wasn’t actually committed, I have been afraid that I might spend all that time and gas, arrive, and find out the person has more than platonic intentions. This site is good about banning that behavior once reported, but it is still a little scary when meeting a new person!

Video chat, at least briefly, open communication, and good karma are needed before I would take that risk with no deposit, personally.

Minestrone101

I believe a deposit is to hold the appointment and to prevent pple from flaking out. I hear flaking is a big thing and pros lose the opportunity to make money. I also hear the flip side that other pros want to only get paid when you arrive to avoid the refund and cancelation process through the site.

CuddleWho

@GreatHornedOwl

The odds against any Pro being a scammer, are fairly high

I disagree completely. I mean the probability that a pro is really a complete scam who has zero intentions of ever doing a session… that may not be extremely common. But the probability that she’ll wake up on the day of the session, not feel like doing it, and realize she can just ghost you and keep your $100… that’s not unlikely at all, especially if it’s a new pro.

CuddlingCricket

I charge a deposit at time of booking. My time is just as valuable as your time.

I’ve had no problem collecting deposits upfront at time of booking. Those people are my tribe. ☺️

GreatHornedOwl

@CuddleWho - You're riht, but only once. Pros who do that sort of thing won't be here long.

SnugggleBunny

I’ve never done deposits but people have been especially flaky lately and it’s made me consider it. I think if I do, though, it’ll only be after someone has already cancelled once and wants to reschedule. The big thing is lost time since there are certain windows that are very popular times to book. Maybe we need spike rate hours like Uber 😂 jk

DancingJoy

I’m hesitant to divulge my secret but what the heck, here goes! 😁

I use the deposit tactic as a firewall and still have yet to actually charge anyone a deposit fee. I figure the New-To-Me clients who are willing to pay a deposit will most likely not flake out and waste my time. 😉
Clients are usually pleasantly surprised when I tell them they don’t have to send me any money beforehand.

I put this firewall in place because when I was new to this site and was still figuring out how everything worked, I kept getting folks who would cancel with less than 24 hours’ notice and/or send a booking just to get my personal contract info and try to strike up a friendship off site. They would bombard me with texts at all hours of the day/night. Therefore, the deposit request was used to hold tighter boundaries.

So there ya have it. I wonder if I just dug myself into a corner?! 🤦🏻‍♀️😜🤷🏻‍♀️😂

SnugggleBunny

@DancingJoy brilliant lol. I too had this issue as a newbie, but have since learned to pick up on language used by those types

CuddleDuncan

@DancingJoy I have long held off suggesting this in public. But now it's out there yes, I learned in other fields that asking the question is three quarters of the battle.

It's similar to asking for ID. If the person is perfectly happy to do it you hardly need to bother. The problem people identify themselves by their response to the question being brought up.

LilyB

I don't usually ask for a deposit, unless

• The person previously flaked on me
  OR
  -They are new clients and I have to drive more than 30 minutes to them
  OR

• They want to start a session after 10pm

xandriarain

Yeah, it’s really not a smart business plan to steal peoples deposits. How many times can you steal someone’s deposit before getting banned? It’s a short-lived scam and not a way to earn a living. It took me over a year to start charging for deposits, and by then I had racked up a lot of karma and a good reputation. Just look at the karma and read their profile before reaching out to a professional

JohnR1972

I can understand a pro asking for a deposit, especially if they are traveling. This is less of an issue for me because I don’t host, I either go to them or we cuddle in a hotel near them when I am traveling. So far I have cuddled with 8 or 9 pros and have not been asked for a deposit.

As someone said above, I would not pay a deposit to a brand new pro with little to no karma but I would be willing to for someone who is established on this site.

My biggest issue would be the mechanics of paying as I refuse to use PayPal or Venmo (which is owned by PayPal). I would be willing to pay a deposit via Apple Cash if I needed to.

BoomerSpooner

If I make a deposit I better have a glass bottle Coke in my hand. Old Coke, not the New Coke.

carrieanne

@FunCartel
The ‘New Coke’ of 1985??

BoomerSpooner

@carrieanne Correct. The marketing scam of 1985.

carrieanne

@FunCartel I’ll never forget that! Pretty crazy, stockpiling old coke in a panic!

BoomerSpooner

Here is the story behind the stupidity:

https://www.history.com/.amp/news/why-coca-cola-new-coke-flopped

bekah_cuddles

@CuddleWho

...she can just ghost you and keep your $100…

I would not expect a deposit to be the full price of the session. That's less of a deposit and more a demand to pay completely in advance, which I'd consider suspicious.

For me, I only charge an advanced travel fee if I'm going to them and it's more than a 30-minute drive round-trip. I do expect the rest of the payment immediately once I've arrived so that I am free to leave if they violate any rules or boundaries.

dave31415

See below

CuddleDuncan

I would like to add, that this is a question very specific to the individuals and the circumstance. For example, I believe that @dave31415's position (Never under any circumstance) is perfectly reasonable.

However, I have paid not only a deposit but the full session price in advance to a professional I'd never met, who was relatively new to the site and at the time had little or no karma. On the face of it, this breaks all the guidelines. But given the conversation I had with her I was not in any doubt that this was the right thing to do, and indeed we had a very happy and successful session. (And several more since.)

Having been exposed to an extensive range of shysters in my youth, I fancy myself at being good at spotting them. I am also fortunate that I am (now) emotionally robust enough to cope if something does go wrong. On the very rare occasions when things have not gone smoothly with a professional, I knew from very early on that there was trouble ahead.

dave31415

No one should do this. Asking for a deposit, even when you aren’t a scammer, just encourages scammers to keep using this tactic because customers will assume it’s normal. If someone asks for a deposit, then THEY had better give you something that ensures they won’t just keep it. For example a tax ID number for their business and a receipt and some information so that you could track them down and collect if they ghost you. Or get an escrow account.

If a pro is expected to travel a long distance, it’s different because that is an upfront cost, an investment of time and maybe money. And of course, if there is some other personal reason such as a previous no-show. Otherwise, it’s a bad practice that encourages scammers to do the same. Just because you can get away with, due to overwhelming demand, doesn’t mean you should. Of course, it’s your decision.

dave31415

@xandriarain You only need to do it once, get banned and create a new account and repeat. It’s a perfectly successful criminal financial strategy and it happens over and over on this and many other sites. People who are having trouble meeting people (that is basically most people) are particularly vulnerable to this.