Chuck Norris- Your best Chuck Norris joke

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

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  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.

  • Chuck Norris became a pro cuddler,.and hired himself

  • The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.

  • Superman and Chuck Norris had a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants for the rest of his life.

  • Chuck Norris? We don't even know who that is.

  • @Sooson
    When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

  • When Chuck Norris moved out of his parents' house, his father became the man of the house.

  • When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's actually pushing the Earth away from him.

  • @Bear
    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

  • And God said, "Let there be light." And Chuck Norris said, "...Okay."

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • This is Chuck Norris lighting his cigar:

  • @Mike403 nice- and great asmr too!

    @4cuddles sounds like a great way to come back down to earth

    @SunsetSnuggles I LOL’d

    Zombies! Dinosaurs! Superman and pumpkins! Oh my!

  • Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.

  • Once chuck norris was bit by a venomous snake. After 2 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.

  • Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra.

    After three days of excruciating torment and pain, the cobra died.

  • Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on. Because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

  • When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

  • COVID gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.

  • Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.

  • I had a real crappy Chuck Norris joke, but I lost it when Chuck Norris kick the shit out of me.

  • Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and left with his shirt ironed and a sandwich.

  • edited May 2023

    Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.

  • I got to meet him once on a flight from Florida to Ohio, he seemed like a very nice and down to earth guy. He had 2 big body guards with him, they seemed annoyed that I spoke to him.

  • When Chuck Norris went to the shooting range he hit 11 out of 10 targets with only 6 bullets.

    Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower. He stares at it until it starts to cry.

    Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience

  • @waynewv - Chuck Norris doesn't need body guards. Body guards need Chuck Norris.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

  • @Mike403 , I was surprised that he had 2 with him.

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