When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
Chuck Norris became a pro cuddler,.and hired himself
The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
Superman and Chuck Norris had a fight. The loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants for the rest of his life.
Chuck Norris? We don't even know who that is.
@Sooson When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When Chuck Norris moved out of his parents' house, his father became the man of the house.
When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's actually pushing the Earth away from him.
@Bear If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
And God said, "Let there be light." And Chuck Norris said, "...Okay."
~ Sunset Snuggles
This is Chuck Norris lighting his cigar:
@Mike403 nice- and great asmr too!
@4cuddles sounds like a great way to come back down to earth
@SunsetSnuggles I LOL’d
Zombies! Dinosaurs! Superman and pumpkins! Oh my!
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep… he waits.
Once chuck norris was bit by a venomous snake. After 2 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra.
After three days of excruciating torment and pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on. Because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
COVID gets a Chuck Norris shot every year.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
I had a real crappy Chuck Norris joke, but I lost it when Chuck Norris kick the shit out of me.
Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and left with his shirt ironed and a sandwich.
Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norrised.
I got to meet him once on a flight from Florida to Ohio, he seemed like a very nice and down to earth guy. He had 2 big body guards with him, they seemed annoyed that I spoke to him.
When Chuck Norris went to the shooting range he hit 11 out of 10 targets with only 6 bullets.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower. He stares at it until it starts to cry.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
@waynewv - Chuck Norris doesn't need body guards. Body guards need Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
@Mike403 , I was surprised that he had 2 with him.