@Jova114 Glad you get it.
@Lovelight 😁 At the end of the day this site is about consent and comfort.
@bambam8686 Deception sucks, whomever it happens to. I hope this incident gets properly resolved.
Right Snapchat is more sex-related because content quickly disappears. WhatsApp can be sketchy as well. It is encrypted and does not create a log history with your phone provider like texting would.
@Sooson That smart contract is really, very cool. Is that something that already exists and is utilized elsewhere?
@TxTom Unfortunately not yet used much for practical purposes except for in the crypto and NFT world (that is why I made the utopia reference). but give it some time.
@Jova114 Please see below for my perspective, though I totally understand where you're coming from, and depending on context, I thoroughly agree.
@Lovelight Ah, that may have been the app I was thinking of. After what you describe about multiple men giving you numbers and then giving you different numbers when you confront them, I completely understand you seeing it as a red flag. I would like to suggest a more reliable method, though.
To find out if someone has given you a real vs. Google Voice number:
Go to a free carrier search site, such as: https://currentcarrierlookup.com/
Enter the phone number. If the results show a normal carrier such as Verizon, T-Mobile, Cingular, etc., this is a "real" cell phone number. If it shows Bandwidth.com as the carrier, it is a Google Voice number.
Please note that there's nothing wrong with someone using a Google Voice number; many female Pro's, especially, use them on this site, so as not to risk their personal information getting out. This is just as valuable to men who, perhaps, own a business and don't want cuddlers potentially contacting that business.
I, personally, use a Google Voice number with all cuddlers whom I text with, because I am very protective of my real number, and I like knowing that when I receive a text, it's family, and when I receive a Google Voice message, it's someone else.
But yes, these numbers are anonymous and therefore can also be used for less palatable purposes, such as cheating spouses, people with bad intentions, etc. Use this method as a tool to gather information, and feel free to ask the person, if it causes you concern.
I would suggest to anyone on here, to get a Google Voice number, for their own safety and anonymity; regardless of gender.
@Lovelight I will also PM this to you, just in case this thread gets locked and hidden by the mods, so you won't ever have to wonder about peoples' numbers, again.
@Sooson That is a cool techie idea, though in the case of deposits, which is what this user was required to give the Pro ahead of time, it would not work, as the entire point of deposits for people with no Karma (or any other reason Pro's require a deposit ahead of time) is so that the Pro has something to show for their time, if the client does not show up. In this case, the client appears to have been burned, which is why many clients choose to not book with Pro's who require deposits. To each their own; there are risks on both sides, alas.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
I dont think most people that commented about whatsapp has ever been outside the US or exposed to people who immgrated here.Outside of the US no one uses Text messages the Use Whatapp even businesses.. When you meet someone new you exchange Whatsapp not numbers (which is the same ) theres nothing suspicous about whatsapp. Its just encrypted you can keep all messages if you want or have them deleted theres just alot more privacy. You cant get a burner whatsapp youd need to buy another phone and another number.Either way I dont think it helps with scamming.
I think more cuddlers that require deposit use paypal and other platforms that will offer refunds if you dont deliver service. Paypal investigates and as long as you have proof they can chargeback
P.S. @Lovelight I can't PM you since your account is muted, but if you'd like the instructions sent, just hit me with a PM and then I believe I would be able to send them. Hope they were helpful! Stay safe out there, girlie!
@bambam8686 you're new here. not sure what your experience is on other platforms but be skeptical and be patient. Considering your recent experience next time you see a "deposit required" just move on the next potential cuddler. a good match will pop up sooner or later.
@SunsetSnuggles don't miss the escrow portion. If the pro is honest, they will be able to collect from escrow if the client did not show up. this was just an example that will not cover every possible situation. in this case, if GPS confirmed the pro was at the agreed upon location and the client was not then yes, you are correct regarding the outcome. A potential client who is confident about their ability and willingness to meet could demand such contract, and if the other party is serious, the other party will also agree to enter the contract. and if they don't...next in line please
and yes, alot can happen. you can get t-boned by a semi on the way to the location...I know...nothing is perfect.
BTW i still owe you an answer on something from a while ago. I keep forgetting.
Always go with your gut! I only ask for deposits if I’m driving over an hour to a brand new cuddler I’ve never been with. Every pro is different!
@Sooson Also to add to what you said . Someone could scam by driving to that location and leaving just to get GPS to mark that location
If she messages you first, she is probably a scammer too. especially if her reason was, I felt you had a kind soul. If they want to borrow money, they are a scammer. Source: Personal experience.
@demi_f keep in mind, pros aren’t allowed to message first (unless you looked at their profile) so you can report them for cold calling you
Even beyond the, “what happened?”, with @bambam8686 the general rules always apply to everything involving intimacy and economy.
Trust who you are interacting with.
And that is doubly important when intimacy and economy are combined.
Know your own boundaries, and stick to them.
@bambam8686 the amount of time spent on site can also be tracked. if both of you were there for an hour, the data will be available. if you did not show up at all then it doesn't really matter how long she was there. i know its not perfect and again that why I said it belonged in the Utopia room. at least for now it is just a general vision of a better future.
Now this lady seems to have legit karmas (she has karmas from clients that have been here for a while and have multiple karmas themselves), I'm not implying that you are the guilty party here, but we don't know all that happened. maybe she someone made an eye contact and didn't like what she saw or had a bad feeling and decided to take off. I guess the mods will sort it out. and dispute resolutions don't always get it right and may rely on both your history and hers, and in this case history can only work in her advantage since you have none. This reminds me of my days as Ebay and Amazon seller (its broken, I didn't get it, it arrived a day after my birthday) The day I knew I was done was when someone companied the nose fell of a plush toy.
@SunsetSnuggles
"After what you describe about multiple men giving you numbers and then giving you different numbers when you confront them, I completely understand you seeing it as a red flag. I would like to suggest a more reliable method, though."
I'm happy to know you get it too, and I'm in no way saying that method is so reliable. Though, it is just one small part of a set of different methods I use to help me vet, and be safer.
"To find out if someone has given you a real vs. Google Voice number:..."
Thanks so much for that, I'm currently living in Canada, and last time I checked we don't have Google voice here. Although someone who is tech savvy could probably find a way around it, and use it. There are also other options available here, so there's probably a system to check them here. Though I'll look into that and other things like it to perhaps add to my vetting process. So far though I'm confident with what I got going on.
"I, personally, use a Google Voice number with all cuddlers whom I text with, because I am very protective of my real number, and I like knowing that when I receive a text, it's family, and when I receive a Google Voice message, it's someone else."
"But yes, these numbers are anonymous and therefore can also be used for less palatable purposes, such as cheating spouses, people with bad intentions, etc. Use this method as a tool to gather information, and feel free to ask the person, if it causes you concern."
That's understandable, and can be a double edged sword as you too acknowledgd. Especially if one is a man communicating with a woman, she is more at risk for certain things than the man. So a man using a fake number is likely to make her take a step or two back. Or if you're a pro communicating with a client or vice versa, either might find it to be shady such as this case, and the client is more at risk for someone potentially running off with his or her money. Not saying whether or not the person in question ran off with the OP's money, that's not something I can determine as I'm not moderating.
I totally get it though. I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about it. Just whatever suits each person best and that the two mutually feel comfortable with.
I think say in a professional setting, it's fine for one to have a separate personal, and a professional number. Though red flags can arise if the professional number is often changing or something in the case of pro cuddlers. I think it's also fine to have a "government number" for a lack of a better word, one used for getting really important calls from offices, hospitals, work, maybe family, etc., and one used for one's social life with friends and who not.
Again what would raise a red flag to me is if I find out or suspect someone is using a temporary phone number, rather than at least trusting me enough to give me his social number okay, that sounds wrong lol, what I mean is the number he uses socially. I'm taking major risks out here, and potentially trusting him to be in my personal space. So if he can't trust me that much to give me the number he uses with friends. Or if by the number he's giving me he's making me feel so disposable, then do I really want to proceed with it? That's part of my reasoning anyway. So as much as he's free to use a disposable number, I too am free to not feel comfortable with it.
"P.S. @Lovelight I can't PM you since your account is muted, but if you'd like the instructions sent, just hit me with a PM and then I believe I would be able to send them. Hope they were helpful! Stay safe out there, girlie!"
Yeah, I muted my account as I'm unavailable to talk with others, and planning to deactivate my account for sometime soon. Though for you, I'm available lol. I'll send you a hello in a little while. Thank you, you too, be safe!
@Sheena123 wow I didnt know that haha! Its Awkwared when they do that after accidently looking and not being intersted and not wanting to be mean
@bambam8686 yea when I first started back in 2019, I was soooo awkward. I would jump on every single person that looked at my profile and say “hey I’m such and such an hour.” Basically “book me”. I cringe at that now lol I will send a hello to those that look but that’s about it
I'm not quite sure why pros are not allowed to market themselves that way and solicit. I could care less personally. it's like the kid knocking on the door trying to sell me roof, windows or extermination job. I don't like it but I deal with it.
@Sooson "I'm not quite sure why pros are not allowed to market themselves that way and solicit. I could care less personally. it's like the kid knocking on the door trying to sell me roof, windows or extermination job. I don't like it but I deal with it."
Because I take it many people don't like it and don't wanna deal with it. A lot of people are on the fence about wanting to hire a pro, don't want to or may even be on the fence about wanting to do platonic cuddling. So they need to not be pestered and allowed to reach out themselves if they'd like. The fact that they aren't allowed to reach out first unless maybe I'm not too sure about their process, their profile is visited first, helps with decreasing scammers because an experienced and in some cases new cuddlers could see it as a red flag. It also shows that the pro can't abide by a simple rule, so it can be part of helping to weed out bad actors.
An enthusiast visiting a pro's account while it can at times be accidently or just to see who the awesome person in the comment section is, it at least somewhat indicates a potential interest and even then good and experienced pros don't just go with "me available, me charge $$$, you book me?" Instead they are likely to just say hello and message something thoughtful. Then see from there if it goes anywhere.
@Sheena123 I own a business and undestand sales so i get it.. I personally dont reach out if im not interested however thats not everyone. I also hire cold callers to acquire new clients (one of the most sustainable ways to grow a business) but I would never answer or buy anything from a cold call...
It just feels different cause its intimate thing and you dont want the person to feel bad about themselves vs someone trying to sell me something dont want or need I dont care saying no.
@Lovelight OK thank you. some great points here. Again I commit the sin of assuming everyone is like me
Interesting
@Sooson All good, glad I could help.
@bambam8686 I think 5 or less karma is within the realm of riskiness for sending a deposit. It’s unfortunate that someone with a lot of karma still scammed you.
Hoping for a good end to to this story (member returns deposit or gets banned)
Just catching up on this thread.
First off, @bambam8686, I am sorry if my tone was misleading. I was not blaming you or blaming men or man-shaming and I clearly upset the flow. I was taking emotion entirely out of the situation and looking at this from an entirely professional standpoint. Getting scammed sucks; I think most of us have been there. I'm really sorry you have experienced this. You posted seeming to want a bit of clarity - at least, that is what your title implies : How do we stop scammers? I asked details on the correspondence not to point fingers to but to help you find a possible explanation for why this might have happened since this practitioner has numerous past and present happy clients. I was in no way placing blame. We are not in the text thread and do not know how things were approached. Every practitioner handles things differently and every client handles/responds differently. If this practitioner did not feel comfortable in the set and setting that was agreed upon, found information on you that made her uncomfortable, felt in any way unsafe, etc. - those are valid reasons for someone to cease contact and not show up. There's a lot of variables and people act on impulse, most times.
The suggestions that I made were entirely viable future options. If you want to avoid scammers, do what you would do in hiring a painter, a massage therapist, or a physician : research. This is something I stress to not just my clients but to everyone I know or exchange professional information with. The internet is a weird place where people can pretend to be anyone or anything they like. The best way to not get scammed with a site like this is to set up with someone that is strictly an enthusiast because they are in it for the literal comfort and enjoyment PLUS they should have no motive to scam anyone. Further protections for your finances come with hiring someone with a legitimate company that requires contracts. I consistently have potential clients tell me that I require too much information; I require this information as much for the client's protection as for my own. IE : Hard for one to file a lawsuit if you do not know a person's legal name or their company name and address. (Clearly, that would be a more extreme case.) As a business owner, I am sure you understand the validity and necessity of contracts. Working with professionals with actual cuddle training can help weed out some of the awkwardness or scammy behaviors. This means that they have the knowledge of how to better handle situations like this and not just ghost because most of them are in this for the betterment of the community. One of the key parts of training is a discussion of not meeting with an individual without verifying their identity. Video chat consultations/meet & greets are the most common practice specifically based on the fact that it is much safer than meeting with a complete stranger rather than relying entirely on photos and reviews. I would look into what forms of payment allow for cancellation or refunds for fraudulent activity. @SunsetSnuggles has the right idea; dispute with your bank and things should work themselves out. Heads up : You might have an issue with finding practitioners that utilize PayPal if they are an established business because PayPal tends to hold the money of new or small businesses for 30 days. I have had this issue with even business to business transactions even though I have been a legal entity for almost three years.
I hope that explains where I am coming from. I can entirely understand your being upset about the money and about the feeling of a lack of accountability. I do not feel that this situation would have been handle differently by the mods if the practitioner were a man. I've had scammers and fetishists that I have turned in to the mods report me because I asked them to clarify information on my client intake form that entirely contradicted the previous message threads between us. I was warned in response for literally protecting the asset that is my company and myself as an individual when the users had malicious intent or were violating the terms of the site.
As far as WhatsApp is concerned, I would never get involved with a business professional nor a client that did not give me a direct means of communication like their phone number or email address. I feel that as a business owner, if someone needs to go the route of encrypted messages, they are likely discussing subjects they should not be discussing with a platonic cuddle partner. I have had three men that have requested virtual cuddles suggest chatting through WhatsApp rather than through the cuddle platforms. BIG. RED. FLAG. To me, that says you're looking to talk nasty or see parts of me or send parts of you that are 100% NOT what the cuddle platforms are for. I would feel entirely differently if I were cuddling as an enthusiast or making a small amount of money vs. being a full fledged LLC.
@demi_f, you are absolutely correct; if any stranger wants to borrow money from you - they are scammers. Often times, it's not one person but a group of people using numerous different platforms to attract attention. However, I message people that repeatedly view my profile because I find it odd that someone would be looking 3+ times in a day. @Sheena123 hit the nail on the head! Report anyone that messages you cold calling. It's very much against user policy.
I'm not quite sure why pros are not allowed to market themselves that way and solicit
To amplify and broaden @lovelight's excellent response, there are fundamentally two reasons. Firstly, because a large number of CC members are quite vulnerable in one or another, and allowing such messages creates an unneccssary, unfair and potentially damaging pressure.
Secondly, we would all be swamped by messages from new, inexperienced money-oriented professionals, drowning out the more caring.
@JustPlaneCuddle posted: "if someone needs to go the route of encrypted messages, they are likely discussing subjects they should not be discussing with a platonic cuddle partner."
"I have had three men that have requested virtual cuddles suggest chatting through WhatsApp rather than through the cuddle platforms. BIG. RED. FLAG. To me, that says you're looking to talk nasty or see parts of me or send parts of you that are 100% NOT what the cuddle platforms are for."
Yes, this is what I had always heard about apps like SnapChat and WhatsApp, and why I have never had accounts on them.
Also why, even though I know many people require a video chat, I do not, and avoid virtual cuddle requests that want cam like the plague, because not only does it make me feel like they might be expecting some kind of show, but I sure as heck don't want to start a call and have my retinas scalded by some pervert. 🤣
@JustPlaneCuddle "if someone needs to go the route of encrypted messages, they are likely discussing subjects they should not be discussing with a platonic cuddle partner."
In some cases that is the case, and I've experienced it myself. Though personally, I use a platform such as WhatsApp because it's convenient, and quite popular just to name a few things I like about it. Plus you're able to video call which is really important to me.
As far as the people who think once they switch platforms they'll get away with trying to be non platonic, I've found they still get dealt with and it actually helps me because they show who they really are even if they aren't dealt with site wise.
So saves me the trouble of having to meet and I think many of them don't really wanna go through meeting a woman too, if they know she's not on board with their sleazy. Which is why I'd rather they lose the fear of "oh no I can't say it on the site so I gotta act right" and reveal their true intentions thinking they can get away with trying to be inappropriate elsewhere.
Rather than them acting good just because they are on a platform that they feel more pressure to be on their best behavior, when they otherwise wouldn't. Though that's just how I approach that thus far and depending on if you're a pro, what that entails, etc., your personal preferences, and experience you may see it differently.