I see stuff like this said in the forums “get a firearm” although everyone has the right to defend themselves and its horrible this happened and the guy is a piece of crap, please people, know your gun laws. I’m probably taking the comment too literally but in California unless you have a ccw, you can’t carry conceal in someone else’s home even with their consent.
@Morpheus yeah I would recommend a taser or some other self defense weapon. Another protection is wearing clothing that are difficult for someone to remove, gives you a few extra seconds in a situation where every second counts.
Going to jail, or going back there, even if you've been there multiple times, wouldn't be a walk in the park for you. And when you're out, you can rest assured you'll have even less of a life to salvage. Don't think you're untouchable, because someday you might mess with the wrong people, or take a wrong turn and find yourself in more and more misery! Yet as much as you might love, you wouldn't have company when you dig yourself so deep in this degeneracy! Because you've either scared away, or turned so many against you.
@Lovelight I hope he gets your message
OK I this isn't a short term solution and won't work for everyone but a well trained dog is awsome safety mesure and can cuddle with you too 😁❤️
It's very rare but she's pretty scary when she gets serious.
Check your local laws before carrying any sort of personal protection device or weapon. Even things like pepper spray and tasers are illegal in some jurisdictions and using them in self-defense can get you in just as much trouble as the attacker. Not to mention if your bag or person is searched you can get in trouble.
If anyone does decide to carry personal protection of any kind, learn how to properly use it and practice until it is automatic. The absolute worst thing that could happen in a dangerous situation is pulling out something meant to protect you and having it backfire, injure you, or be taken away and used against you instead.
Also, there are tons of self defense classes available, many of them for free or low cost. One of the best things you can do for your self confidence and protection is learning how to protect yourself without a weapon and know that in the heat of the moment you will be able to effectively use your skills because you have drilled them into muscle memory.
@cuddlefaery that was awsome
@Lifeasdance
"I've called men like him and asked them to stop or meet with me to discuss things for a woman I knew and if I recall correctly it worked. I'd call him on your behalf, but it would probably work better from someone you know, preferably a man, an offer meeting face to face with some they can't bully often is too much for a creeper."
My Response:
I wouldn't suggest to go as far as meeting in person, unless maybe one has a specific set of skills... or something, even then likely better not to. Cause I think a lot can be solved with just talking. So, I'd consider, if need be, having others take over with having a word with him to tell him HE NEEDS TO BACK OFF and leave her alone. Also, I'd advise consulting with the police, and a lawyer if possible about your moves, especially if he keeps up this reprehensible behavior.
In case he still doesn't stop, I'd suggest taking any other necessary and legal measures.
I probably also got a few other things I can suggest which might help if needed. So I hope he gets some sense into himself, and STOPS before things have to escalate.
"I hope he gets your message"
"this isn't a short term solution and won't work for everyone but a well trained dog is awsome safety mesure and can cuddle with you too 😁❤️"
I was just thinking to suggest getting a dog. I'm glad you specified getting a well trained one. Cause just having a regular pet isn't guaranteed to help protect. So particularly trained dogs or dog is best for that. By the way, what a cutie! 😊
...are illegal in some jurisdictions and using them in self-defense can get you in just as much trouble as the attacker...
Completely agree.
And although it's terribly inconvenient and will uproot your life somewhat, consider moving to a location/state with stronger, or at least friendlier, self-defense ("stand your ground" or "castle doctrine") laws.
I agree with both "Get a firearm" and @Lifeasdance 's suggestion.
Edit: And also what @cuddlefaery said. 🥷🤼 (Ninja and wrestling emojis to represent self defense since I couldn't find a karate... Oh there it is 🥋)
😂
@Lovelight Folks in prison also don’t take kindly to guys who pick on women. Once they find out your charges, you will become a target and they will beat the crap out of you for fun or worse
@sunnysideup
"Folks in prison also don’t take kindly to guys who pick on women. Once they find out your charges, you will become a target and they will beat the crap out of you for fun or worse"
Right?? Some people may also have relatives, or friends of friends who are in prison for other reasons. They'd not be happy hearing about their loved ones getting harassed, let alone harmed in any way. Others may also have certain connections that you don't wanna mess with.
So again to him, get whatever help you need, and check yourself so you don't wreck yourself even more. Imagine allegedly doing illegal drugs too, and going out of your way to mess with others. USE YOUR BRAIN, and be a better person, man!
So sorry that happened to you! Download the app called URsafe. Check out the details on youtube about it.
@BlueEyez77 Girl I am sorry this happened to you. It IS a glaring wake up call though. Dial in your vet processing. Intake call & picture.
Just as these forums “complain” anyone can become a Pro….We show our 🆔 and clear face pic. They do not. And THEY know this.
Anyone can become an enthusiast or possible client and they can have MANY accounts on here since these accounts have zero accountability checks.
This is why if there is push back on a clear face pic and it intake video call. They are not worth risking your life or safety. This is cuddling 101.
Thousands of accounts on here with stark profiles will target you. And even with this post it will embolden them to want to take you on/down ect.
These are the ones you do not want contacting you on your personal phone.
They stay hidden in the dark for many reasons. Order cuddles carelessly and without them EVER having to show their ID to be on here & ordering you like a human trafficking Amazon prime delivery with zero regard for your safety OR theirs. You played perfectly into their game. They will think they own you if they pay one penny, stay FAR away from these account mentalities.
Cuddling is about consent and companionship. This person had red flags galore rolling out. He gave ZERO F’s about your safety and cuddles.
You are a human worthy of respect and safety. Command it. Cuddling is up close and very personal.
Remember this person has your information. And can be upsetting. Out stalk him if need be. They HATE that.
When you RTO this creep, speak to the dept referral for human trafficking. Put this person on notice and get resources. It’s step two on out stalking the crazies on here.
Oh and welcome to CC. FAFO.
Just want to chime in and say, as much as I advocate self defense weapons, don’t be surprised if a gun doesn’t save you.
I saw a heartbreaking art exhibit that showed what women were wearing when they got assaulted. One was a military uniform. There was a quote from the woman saying something like, “I had a gun and thought it would protect me. Lot of good it did.” And this was a military service member highly trained on using her firearm.
Any weapon you get, learn it well. But also have a backup plan for your backup plan in case your weapon ends up being useless.
I agree a weapon is not needed. You can learn self defense and this is much better. Cuddling is up close and personal. You ARE the business asset. Protect yourself first and always. Learn self defense asap. Watch Jet Li movies. Zip ties are your friend. Jk
@SunshineHug
You've shared so many great advice! Though I just wanna say something about your last point: "14. This should never happen if you vet better."
Unfortunately, you can take all the safety precautions in the world, and it could still happen. So nothing is guaranteed in this world. However, the stronger one's safety precautions, and vetting process is, the better chances at keeping safe.
@Lovelight Thank you. And yes. It can still happen. That’s why I stated “should never” Women & children are the most hunted creatures on Earth and we must protect ourselves.
Steps to ensure your safety make it diminish. Education Training Awareness Reactive responses Safety checkins
You NEVER know who you will get.
Adding some stark humor but if you watched the movie. 🎥 You’ll get the reference.
I also should add that in California even without a ccw, you can carry conceal in your own home anytime you want. So if you’re a pro and you host in your own home, you can carry conceal all day long. That being said, please know how to use a gun properly if you choose to own one.
@cuddlefaery outstanding comment, thank you.
"Thank you. And yes. It can still happen. That’s why I stated “should never”"
Okay...
This post by the way reminded me of a creepy experience I had with a former acquaintance, long ago, who I knew just out and about. Not anyone I met here.
So I once was out somewhere, when I came across the former acquaintance turned creepy guy. Long story short, I ran into him early at night after about a year of not seeing him. After we spoke a little, I thought we catch up, and just have a chat. We were going by somewhere well lit, and full of cameras. He suggested we don't sit there, saying it's got too much light.
My then innocent, and more naive self thought maybe he has a headache. So we continued going, and got to a little parkette. There was a somewhat lit, and safe spot that I chose to sit. After a little while or soon after, he then suggested we move elsewhere that was dark! By this point I started to catch on and refused. Then he asked me to sit closer, I didn't think too much of it and move a little closer. It was just the norm for me to keep my distance, unless it's someone I was very close with.
Moments after me moving close enough that he could reach his hand towards me, he started touching, and making inappropriate comments to me. After having a stern, maybe bone chilling word with him, I left him shortly after, and avoided him like the plague wanting nothing to with him anymore! I also told him along the lines of he'll be dealt with if he doesn't back the he// off.
Good thing nothing needed to escalate. Though I learned from experiences like that, I've had similar experiences with other male acquaintances too. Even if I've ran into them for like a year or more and had nice conversations, a few have ended up crossing boundaries and trying to get handsy. So y'all be safe even with those you may be familiar with.
I could never wrap my head around why guys get off on being creeps. Wouldn't most the fun come from knowing the woman is also into it?
@Mike403 some people are sick individuals and there’s no rehabilitation that can help. No rationale or justification behind it either.
@Mike403 because life in general is traumatizing and most have not developed the skills nor sought out the proper help to deal with it, so they take it out on others wittingly or unwittingly. Most lack the self awareness to even be conscious of the harm they cause, and then of those that are aware many are so numbed by their own pain that they prefer to inflict it on others than deal with their own internal experience.
Until we make a cultural shift towards not only prioritizing mental health care from birth but preventative mental health care and social-emotional education as equally important as academics through all life stages, this is going to continue to be a pervasive systemic problem.
And some men who seem “normal” in every other aspect of their lives, who consider themselves normal also, have the secret life of fun & games using women for their enjoyment. They call it their Hobby. To me, those are the absolute worst. They brag about it to other men. They see women as their property and they say derogatory things about the women they use. These are the entitled misogynists who join this site knowing full well that it’s platonic cuddling but they don’t believe that any rules apply to them. They don’t take anything we do seriously. in fact, this type of guy is way more common than you might think. Unfortunately, the women here have all run into this way too often. This is what we talk about over and over that makes us feel beaten down, emotionally tired and just over it. I typically pity them for their weakness, for whatever awful thing has happened to make them choose this direction. And this is why so many women here leave. If any of these predators think all this is funny, and like to lurk in the forums well just try something inappropriate with some of us and see what happens to you.
@cuddlefaery - If they spent as much energy in learning a new skill as they did with stalking, who knows what they will accomplish and will be much happier rather than obsessing over somebody who will never reciprocate any positive feelings back at them.
@carrianne - If some guy bragged to me about that, I wouldn't talk to him anymore. That is not an honorable trait.
@Mike403 I know that about you but thanks for confirming. You’re one of the best! 🤗😊
My advice to the OP is: 1) Do not buy a gun; 2) unsubscribe from this site and do not return; and 3) never try to cuddle with a stranger again. If you follow this advice you will regain your peace of mind and you will have lost nothing.
@BJC wow, so the woman has to leave because a man decided to stalk and harass her? 🙄
I can see @bobadevotee charging her taser now.