Deposit required for low/no karma pros?

jwj420

Hey everyone, I’ve been seeing more pro cuddlers with little or no karma requesting deposits. I personally am hesitant (in this world of online scams) to give someone with no karma a deposit to book a session. Am I the only one?

I feel it’s appropriate to expect a certain amount of verification before paying someone but I understand the need for one when so many people flake out and cancel (for the record, I’m more than willing to pay a deposit for a pro who has plenty of good karma).

Morpheus

This topic has come up before. I’ve never paid a deposit and I will never pay a deposit. I agree with you though, if I were to do it, I would likely pay a deposit to a pro with positive karma and a good reputation.

Backscratch75

I have never had any problems using deposits with people on this site but generally Pros will visit me. It works for me.

TxTom

🚫

starrynitecuds

A new Pro? She has no karma? But she knows to require a deposit?
Be ready to kiss that money goodbye. Maybe you'll be lucky. If they get banned before the session, you have no recourse. From what I've heard here, it's almost impossible to get refunded by the person or the dispute paid out by the financial institution, like Venmo, Cashapp, etc.

Carrie_Anne

Women don’t trust men/men don’t trust women. Speaks volumes about our current culture.
Really difficult for someone like me who’s been around a really long time on this earth and remember that it used to be different. It’s something I don’t even like to think about.

Bear

I would say don’t hire them or ask to do a quick coffee meet in person. To get a sense about them.

CharlieBear

(Moderator) There are threads to help new pros start out and requiring a deposit is mentioned often. Though if they are new, have barely anything in their profile, and have no karma (or no effort karma that can easily be faked; tread lightly. Clients can screen as well and it’s always best to make sure the person is real. There are scammers on both sides and while we can ask them to return the money, the only other option we have is to ban them, which sadly doesn’t help you get your money back.

MissPamelaV

You said a mouthful @g_w_t_w …. I think there’s nothing wrong with a deposit especially if it’s counted towards the balance.

Auroradream

I've never asked for a deposit, but other providers (I prefer the term Provider vs Professional) have recommended that I do.
When should a Provider ask for a deposit?
Imo, possibly when traveling or for an overnight/longer time commitment. A newer inquiry from an individual with no karma of their own may be someone to feel out for a deposit to gauge their sincerity. Again, I've never asked for one.

If you aren't comfortable paying a deposit (to someone with little or no karma or lots of karma), simple solution: hire a different pro.

CuddleDuncan

Before paying a deposit, always check how long the account has been active. The older the account, the safer you are. I have paid deposits a handful of times without problems.

Any request for a depost of more than 50% of the hourly rate should be regarded with particular suspicion. (Small deposits work nearly as well as large ones: it is the principle of the deposit that makes the client less likely to no-show, not the amount.)

If you are a new client, I would especially advise against paying a deposit to a new professional. In fact in that circumstance I would advise against hiring a new professional at all. Go for somebody experienced until you are experienced yourself.

You may find these threads useful:

• How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler

• The Perfect Opening Message (to a professional)

• Ten Things Your Professional Cuddler Wants You to Know

• How to Save Money on Professional Cuddling

• Understanding Boundaries & Etiquette

JasonCuddles

It's certainly an increase in your chance of being scammed which is extremely rampant these days. I get scam messages pretty much daily.

Edit-----
Not just on here(which I do) but over email or phone calls too.

ReltvlyCanshes

I don't think I'd pay a deposit, definitely not with someone who just began. Karma and time would need to be well established. I think it's a bad idea because of the scam element, not saying all that ask are scams but the potential for being taken by a stranger is high.

Vintage_Embrace

Ugh 😑 this topic, again

To be a Pro, you have to show your legal govt 🆔, feature a clear face pic, body pics are not a requirement, cough 😷 cough and also link a bank card for the percentage fees.

How many enthusiasts do any of that? It’s the Wild West internet out here.

As a pro we have foundations and build from there. Not all leave karmas because they don’t want attention on their enthusiast profile. And that is their boundary and is perfectly fine.

Karmas are not the total aspect in choosing your cuddle session with a Pro. Cuddle Duncan has extensive FAQ and info on this. Extremely helpful.

Not many are scamming clients as they will not be here for any amount of time.

Active Pros new or og are requiring a small deposit to count towards session fees due to the sheer rise of Pro cookie jarring and scammers we have faced and continue to face on this platform. Especially since we have no idea whom the online account belongs too. There is no legal identity verification which makes our jobs extremely dangerous, keeps the complete privacy of the client and enthusiasts but keeps Pros in a predicament of faith based business practices for the dark.

I prefer to sprinkle light on our cuddle journey together.

So we have protections in place.

Most have zero issue as it ensures safety and professionalism of YES a human being that chooses to cuddle, earn respect and money while providing a needed service that we all benefit from.

When I schedule for a haircut, I have to put a deposit down on the time for my appointment and I do it gladly do so.

I know the service that I’m gonna get is something I’m treating myself to, I have budgeted for and I’m not going to insult my hairstylist, new or old, by refusing to honor her time, her work ethic, her products used, her job and her skill set that I require for myself.

It’s always a huge financial boundary with me to be insulted for using this as a safety measure.

If you have never been in a service industry and take away from that everyone and every business is out to scam you. I’d strongly suggest a bit of therapy. And better financial awareness. Learn and move on with a bit more grace and dignity.

Cuddling is an investment in yourself and it does affect your outlook, Imoe.

If you cannot afford a $25 deposit to prove you’re not going to abuse my time, skills and energy put into our session; that’s YOUR financial boundary.
I will respect that.

I’d also never go on a company’s website or forum and complain about something that’s never occurred directly to me or maybe had but that was due to poor judgement and financial responsibility skills.

(Not saying any of this is you OP. This topic is so aggressively discussed in many forums on here.)

For the cost of a few coffees to secure your cuddle appointment is not and should not be the most fearful process in this modern age of digital transactions.

Most apps can be refunded if sent as payment for goods & services. It is not a difficult process.

I would not want a human to retaliate against me over 25$ or more deposit. Most Pros feel this way. Stalking and harassment is all too commonplace.

But 99% of Pros cannot recoup lost funds and business due to ghosting, cookie jarring and rescheduling that never occurs.

Wonder what the stats are on here for scammed clients and Pros that have been scammed? Would be so cool to have that data 📊. Then again, it really does not matter. Life is too short to live in fear and without cuddles. Get cuddles 🥰 how you choose and communicate with your selected cuddler, pro or enthusiast so it’s clear. It takes a bit of effort but is worth it. 🤗🥰

Life happens but building a foundation with a service provider is key.

Remember Karmas are not the only way to vet your Pro cuddler selection.

“Bear in mind that the quality of a cuddle endeavor is felt/reviewed differently by each person who experiences it. This is why your expectations/previous cuddle experiences and boundaries are reviewed before our session.

Appreciate all of those who seek cuddling and companionship with clear intent and respectful of one another’s boundaries and stores.

Inquire directly with any questions, mentoring or to say hello and remember being kind is free.“

Oh look while I type my novel response, @CuddleDuncan has replied above with links!Thank you Sir.

Morpheus

@g_w_t_w

Women don’t trust men/men don’t trust women. Speaks volumes about our current culture.

I have no distrust of women at all. For me this has nothing to do with men vs women or women vs men. It has to do with there are scammers out there, plain and simple. It could be a man for all I know who created a fake profile posing as a woman.

What you fail to realize, everyone doesn’t leave karmas. I don’t ask for my cuddle buddies to leave a review. Some people want complete discreetness, which I totally understand. One of my CBs left a review and deleted it 2days later bc he said a PRO reached out to him soliciting a session.
If I have a repeat offender (no call no show) I request a $50 (flat fee) deposit from them bc I will not let you waste my time again. So if they decide to not show, well the deposit covers a portion of my time wasted. So don’t go solely off of reviews just bc there isn’t any/many.

Vintage_Embrace

For me the deposit proves the client is fully vested into our cuddle journey together.

I appreciate that so much and releases my fears of being cookie jarred.

Which then enables me to best do my cuddle job without fear and coming out of pocket to be scammed, lied too or booked by a person whom can make 30 profiles a day to manage and manipulate the markets for what ever nefarious reasons.

Energy vampires are real. In all sides, except it costs Pros more than that including money and lost revenues.

Repeat sessions can be in cash but varies on each client and if Sunshine delivery 🚚 is required in a further location.

We all have boundaries and navigate with them while learning and growing in modern society.

CuddleDuncan

Just as a counterpoint, I was once asked for a deposit by a new professional, to which I agreed. Come the moment, I decided just to pay the whole session fee even thought that hadn't been requested. I harboured no doubts that it was safe to do so, and indeed we had an excellent session, followed by several more.

Sometimes, you can trust people, take a punt on it, and win. Even in internetland.

And as a counterpoint to the counterpoint, I have also been successfully scammed on the internet though not on this site. It didn't come as a complete shock, I was aware of the risk I was taking - on that occasion I harboured severe doubts but did it anyway. I refuse to let my trust be destroyed totally by the scammers.

Morpheus

@Skittlebaggz

If I have a repeat offender (no call no show) I request a $50 (flat fee) deposit from them bc I will not let you waste my time again. So if they decide to not show, well the deposit covers a portion of my time wasted.

I see your hourly rate is $85. The terms is service on this site state that if a client cancels within 12 hours, he owes half the price of the session. If you book for an hour at $85 and your client cancels, he owes you $42.50 so if you keep $50, you’re actually violating the terms of service.

anthonyrph

I had a “pro” schedule then bail on me 3 hours before session. When we rescheduled for another night she asked for a deposit the day before! Nope! I find asking for a deposit with no karma just shady business

CharlieBear

What is crazy to me, considering all the steps @SunshineHug mentioned that potential pros have to go through, is how often we receive reports of pros taking deposits and ghosting clients. We don’t know if these reports are true so it takes multiple offenses for action to be taken. But there is no shortage of reports of this, as well as clients not paying for their sessions.

Vintage_Embrace

@CharlieBear Id love to see the stats but so much goes unreported on both sides.

I know in my early days on here; I was out of room, gas, parking, toll money & time putting all blind faith in this process and giving trust out when it has not been verified or earned nor established.

Can’t imagine what the enthusiasts also experience in this realm of meeting strangers off the net to cuddle and be safe without going in the red, financially , to do so.

OverTheMooon

I wouldn't do a deposit. And I definitely wouldn't do a deposit if there's no karma. It's too easy to just run away with the money. Like the mod said, they can only ask that they give it back. So don't send anything you can't afford losing 🤷🏻‍♂️

I understand the flakiness of clients, so, deposits arent absurd to ask for. Or even 50%. But, to ask for one when there's no evidence that they're trustworthy?
I think it's pretty standard wisdom for pros to get karma before asking ppl to put their trust in.
Trust is earned... Yadda yadda . Trusting complete strangers with 100s of dollars? Not wise

It feels much more fair to pay when you meet at the start of the session. You both only risk wasting each other's time (equal risk/cost), and that is all.
To demand deposit is to say that the cuddlers time is more valuable than the clients time. Which is... Uh, too prideful? Idk. Besides, the site requires ppl pay 50% if they cancel within 12 hours or so. Asking for a deposit is essentially asking the client to trust YOU, while you don't have to trust the client.

Carrie_Anne

I have Actually asked a couple of men who claimed to have a high income, why they were so hesitant to risk $25 deposit.
I typically didn’t ask for a deposit for a local cuddle because most of mine were repeats anyway
But when I was constantly asked about traveling to another part of the US to cuddle, I said I am not going to book a flight, pay for it and make hotel arrangements unless I have booked sessions and a $25 deposit.
These men told me that it was not about the $25 but that it was their ego, that they didn’t want to be scammed because it made them feel bad about themselves.
I thought that was very interesting.

It seems that most people who come to this site already have some pretty big self-esteem issues. It shows up in the things they write here on the forum.
Men have said that they are embarrassed to have to ask for a cuddle. It makes me sad that they have gotten into that situation.
I remind myself constantly that this is not all men because the ones I know IRL don’t generally act like this.
The way our society is these days, lack of trust, more dishonesty, entitlement, selfishness.

ReltvlyCanshes

When i say why i don't do deposits it's not discounting all the reasons anyone says are reasons we shouldn't have fears. I believe you. I do think that there are safe guards, i believe the site does things to protect us from fraud best they can. But what i am saying is in my self protective mode, what I've learned is that i don't trust the process enough for me to engage in that. I don't believe that everyone who asks for deposits are scammers, i do believe that scammers ask for deposits for all sorts of things. Therefore my method is to really avoid those situations. I am also one that isn't looking for a pro necessarily, so in my process of sorting it begins with pro vs enthusiast, deposit required Vs. no deposit required. It's a personal preference (i know yall can all agree with preference) not an accusation for me. I don't mean to insult your methods and i understand why you'd implement them. I just think it's some reasoning you might want to be aware of from potential cuddles.

But i am not one to bash anyone for how they conduct their business, please allow me the same grace.

Carrie_Anne

@SunshineHug @Skittlebaggz
I’m glad that you keep trying to explain this concept but I’m afraid that some of the men here will never really understand.
They have expectations of women that aren’t realistic.
Some might be angry that they can’t get what they want for free.
I would have to ask them though, is anyone questioning the $$$ they earn? lol

@Morpheus thank you for being so helpful!!

CuddleDuncan

@g_w_t_w

These men told me that it was not about the $25 but that it was their ego, that they didn’t want to be scammed because it made them feel bad about themselves.

That is really interesting, thank you. I have long wondered about the aggressiveness of some of the anti-deposit rhetoric I've seen in various threads on this question. That expains it.

Ironman294

I’ve been scammed twice but that was early on. Nowadays if someone asks for 20/25 dollars deposit I would be inclined to send it, but anything more than that then I would not. If I get scammed of 20-25 no biggie but if it’s 50 or more than I would be pissed.
Since I have a ton of karma if a new pro says they need a deposit because of scammers then I’ll pass on that. If they asked a deposit of guys with no karma then sure. One new person recently tried but I said no thanks when they asked for half the amount. They were banned the next day. It wasn’t me.

ReltvlyCanshes

I also would never consider a cuddle where travel would be part of it. I wouldn't travel far to cuddle and i wouldn't expect anyone else to do that. If i did i would completely understand a deposit, it makes sense and is fair