@dennis22554 The partner can almost immediately sense that there’s something wrong but sometimes thinks they imagine it and don’t want to face the truth. Especially when it will destroy their life and family.
It's always best to face the truth bo matter how painful it maybe..especially if you want real happiness in life
Oh wow, someone figured that out?
If guilt is felt cheating was dealt
If you feel the need to hide it then absolutely.
If someone would be hurt by it then yes.
As a pro, my cuddle sessions are clinical and therapeutic. Not trying to be in an episode of 20/20. 🤣
I am 100% single but I do not use cuddle comfort in a nefarious fashion.
the only thing I figured out is if you are worried whether what you are cheating to the point you ask the question in a public..the safe bet would be you are cheating
The real question isn’t whether it’s cheating, it’s why do so many married people feel the need to get cuddles elsewhere. Cuddling at it’s root definition is the most innocent, free, relaxing, easy, caring, intimate, beneficial, beautiful, stress-reducing, hormone-inducing, act that you can possibly partake in. There is no logical reason why a loving spouse would turn this down then cry foul when it is sought elsewhere.
If you can’t get great cuddles from your significant other, and you aren’t allowed to get it elsewhere, than what exactly is the point of this arrangement? For real. Marriage isn’t something you should feel trapped in when it comes to very basic needs. Stop the shaming and ask why exactly would someone do such a thing, of course assuming the platonic agreement is adhered to. If it is not then of course it’s cheating.
Otherwise, at the end of the day, all I’m saying is that there are a lot of spouses who are not doing their job and they shouldn’t be able to dictate that their significant other should just do without. Marriage should be a win/win mutually beneficial agreement, not a one sided dictatorship.
In short, anyone who says it’s cheating needs to be able to say that they gave their significant other amazing cuddle sessions on a regular basis, did not turn down spoken or unspoken cuddle requests, and they still sought out other people. I bet the amount of people who could honestly say this is extremely low.
@dennis22554 Exactly but people will play dumb to justify
Marriage isn’t something you should feel trapped in when it comes to very basic needs.
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@hoosierdan76 True it should not feel that way, alas it is for many husbands and wives. Lol I felt that way in my marriage, thank goodness for divorce.😁
I don't want to feel "trapped and seeking spousal permission" to do something ever again, no more marriages for Me. 😌
Last remark....if you are cheatinng..Just be prepared to live with the consequences..don't ask anyone for help
@hoosierdan76 This is no secret, just obviously… Just generalizing but often it’s a decades long marriage, deeply connected through finances, property, kids and they don’t want to go through the drama, pain, expense of ending, That all seems too complicated to some and they’re just lazy also. So they can arrange a cheating arrangement with little effort and hope they don’t get caught. Don’t want to rock the boat, want the benefits of both.
Also wonder how many popular cuddlers here who say it’s cheating will screen people for their marriage or taken situation. Do you ask? Are you even halfway aggressive in asking? Do you believe them when they say one way or another? Do you even turn them down if you get an answer that you don’t like?
Unless you’re very adamant about not cuddling those with significant others and make sure the SO is granting permission if they say yes, or at least put in some kind of effort to screen or something, then I’m not sure what the point of a public shaming opinion is. You’re literally partaking in and enabling what you say is cheating. Either decide that it’s none of your business, or make it so with some kind of screening. Anything less is hypocritical.
@hoosierdan76 I ask. And, no, I am not going to cuddle someone with a significant other unless I know their partner is aware of it and okay with it. I don't need some guy kicking down my door because he's sure something is going on.
I have it in my profile now but when I was a Pro I did cuddle married men. I didn’t feel that I was responsible for their morality and I didn’t know if they were being honest or not either way - how would I? People lie to get what they want. As an enthusiast, I might or might not, depends on a lot of factors, especially if we’ve cuddled before. I decide during a “getting to know you “ period. Everyone has a choice here, we all get to decide.
“I don't need some guy kicking down my door because he's sure something is going on.”
Funny you should say this. Actually happened to me. But that’s a story for another day. Highly recommend screening procedures.
here who say it’s cheating will screen people for their marriage or taken situation.
@hoosierdan76 🙌🙌🙌🙌
FROM MY PROFILE:
I am very open to cuddling SINGLE AND MARRIED/ATTACHED CUDDLERS, however IF you are married/attached/engaged/whatever then I must speak to (either by phone or face to face) with your spouse/partner FIRST to explain to him/her "What Cuddling With ME Entails..." as well as getting MY OWN verification of comfort on THEIR END in regards of the two of us platonically cuddling together. Yes, I DO believe in being OPENLY RESPECTFUL of one's marriage/relationship even if it's just merely cuddling. 😁🫂
I like to believe that THIS PART☝️ of my profile keeps cheating married/attached cuddlers from bothering me.😁👍
“ Everyone has a choice here, we all get to decide.”
Yes, of course, but, you don’t get to have it both ways. Not a fan of being hypocritical. I don’t agree with shaming people for so called cheating while talking about their little-effort cheating arrangement and calling them lazy and liars and then turn around in the same breath and admit that you knowingly cuddled married people and pass it off as free choice. Doesn’t make a lot of sense. It would be best for everyone to just admit that it’s probably none of their business.
I can’t believe this thread is still going
Shes really trying to say "get a life, people" but She's just being nice.
I don't need some guy kicking down my door because he's sure something is going on.
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@WriterGF Exactly! 😁
Me neither, I don't want to have to join "6 Death Row Murderesses doing The Cellblock Tango" for lethally defending myself against crazed jealous wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/whatever.😐
If only death row actually had cell block tango, I wouldn't mind going to jail...💃😆🕺😆
But the reality is: They don't!😌
Yeah I guess it depends on a lot of factors. I haven’t cuddled with anyone who is married since I first started as a Pro quite a while ago and was pretty naive about behavior on this site. So I changed my mind about it later. Now who knows if I would in the future. As I said, if it’s someone I already know well and know their situation I might but this is all hypothetical because I’m on a break from wanting to cuddle with anyone new from this site. Anyway I’m single, I don’t have to lie or cheat. Completely free to decide. I also don’t know if anyone is lying to me about anything.
I'll put in my two cents here 🙋♀️ as someone who is a Pro and still holding the technical marriage status currently.
For me, it is alllllll about communication. From the beginning I had communicated with my spouse about the desire to cuddle platonically with other people, and this was sparked by me questioning my sexuality and my bicurious-ness. From this very point I realized something may be going on behind the scenes that needs addressing, so I also put forth the idea of going to a marriage counselor(an open minded LGBTQ+ one) to work through me questioning things. Unfortunately, we could not find a reputable therapist that we both felt comfortable with, and there actually was a point my spouse admitted to not having a desire to go to therapy. I had decided since this issue was coming up in ME, that it was imperative that at least I had found an open minded therapist that I could discuss things with without judgement. I found such a therapist and we worked through a looooot of issues. She highly encouraged me to continue to discuss things openly and honestly with my partner (which I continued to do) and as my spiritual beliefs also shifted I eventually came to the realization that it would be better if we parted ways.
Upon communicating honestly with my spouse, we walked through the entire process ~ my desire to cuddle women and trans people, which eventually stirred up desires and feelings to cuddle also with other straight men. I communicated it all, and it did bring up some contentious points at times. I would like to think that is his mind, it made it not so bad since becoming a Pro because at that point I was doing it for money. But the truth is, I actually love cuddling people from all different backgrounds (as long as the vibe fits and I feel safe). I value all sentient beings at this point and cuddling is a way to express that. That and I had realized that I entered into a relationship with this man from a place of low self-esteem and codependence, not realizing that I am actually worthy of having a partner that can meet every one of my needs, and that I even have the power to live this life solo. I communicated that too.
So is cuddling other people cheating?
Bottom line here is that for me, as long as you are communicating and doing everything in your power not to hurt the other person, and thinking of what would be for each other's highest good in the long run, it is not cheating. Listen to your gut feeling inside, and if it feels wrong inside, you need to find an outlet to express it. I 1000000% reccomend finding a therapist, even a private one, so you have a safe place to express this.
As a result, we are separating in the most amicable way that we possibly can (which blows my mind). Obviously every situation is different, and not everyone is in a place to afford a therapist, or they may be going through domestic abuse knowing that they need to leave but are unable to at the moment. I think we can have compassion for those types of situations.
That was a long-winded answer but I hope it helps ☮️🎶
~ Kai
If the people in your life are insecure enough literally anything and everything is cheating.
I don’t screen for relationship status, but I do expect clients to come into sessions with honesty and a sense of clarity about their situation. Here’s what I ask: When a cuddle client is married or in a committed relationship, it’s up to them to decide if a cuddle session aligns with their values and the agreements they’ve made with their partner. I’m not here to define that for anyone as a cuddle pro. In my sessions it’s important to keep negative discussions about your spouse to a minimum. Emotional baggage associated w cheating isn’t easy for either of us. If they’re carrying unresolved shame, guilt, or conflict about cuddling, the experience just won’t be the same. I’m not a therapist, and I’m not equipped to help process that level of toxic shame. If my client wants to spend the entire cuddle session emotional dumping about their spouse , then it might be best to address those feelings w a mental health provider before booking. If i ever complete a graduate degree in psychology, I will happily take on clients who want to work through shame but for now I’m a cuddle pro. Let’s keep it light and cuddly in session. Cuddling requires positive energy. Sessions are meant to be nurturing and enjoyable, and that starts with a sense of openness and readiness to connect. If heavy shame or unresolved conflict about cheating is hanging over the session, it’s just not going to feel good. Therapy, therapy, therapy Cuddling can be healing, but it’s not a replacement for therapy. If a client struggling with deeper and complex feelings about touch or intimacy, I encourage folkx to work with a therapist or intimacy coach who can help them sort through that in a safe and supportive way.
if keeping it from your partner it is cheating
@inspireserenity Yes it’s that simple. And a choice. The following may be just a fantasy but If one can be open with their partner and ask how they feel about it first, could be that the non-affectionate one might be ok with it, feel more trusting that they were asked first. I guess a calm reasonable approach would help. Then the boundaries of the plan could be established. But that might not go well If there’s already a lot of animosity in the relationship.
The real question should be would your spouse consider cuddling with someone else cheating?
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I don't think anyone can answer this question for anyone else. It's a personal issue between couples. No one else can decide it. If one is cheating the cuddler has no responsibility or ability to know that. You can ask all the questions you want you'll never really know. You can avoid married people but then you'd have to trust they are telling the truth. What is it considered to you? My partner/wife/significant other if i had one would know I'd consider it cheating. Therefore if i had anyone of those things i wouldn't cuddle. But none of you know if i have that now or not, and you couldn't unless you knew me personally...... and you wouldn't.