Ask the Genie

IronicMaidenIronicMaiden
in General

Be careful what you wish for!

There's an old game where one person makes a wish, and then the next person grants it in a malicious way, as if they were an evil genie.

Example:
1: I wish for a million bucks.
2: Granted! One million adult male deer stampede through your home.

The second person must then make their own wish.

I'll start:

I wish I could get this song out of my head.

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Comments

  • Velvet_HeartVelvet_Heart

    @IronicMaiden Granted! You will never hear that song again but, instead, "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas will play on automatic replay 24 hours per day for the rest of your life. Muah ha ha 😈

    I wish I could instantly get rid of this brutal hangover!

  • Suzie_QSuzie_Q

    @Velvet_Heart Granted! Your hangover is instantly gone, but you’re now permanently drunk after one sip of anything, including water.

    I wish I could read people’s minds.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited September 20

    @Suzie_Q - I grant your wish and curse you with a slight modification of the curse Apollo placed on Cassandra - you can read people’s minds and you will know every time bad people are planning to do bad things… but no one will ever listen to your warnings 🙉

    The Greeks came up with some very inventive curses 😂

    Edit: my wish is for everyone to get along with each other and peace to break out around the world.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited September 20

    That one’s easy.

    Everyone gets along now and peace is lasting. (The rest of the lyrics are also universally true.)

    https://www.btboces.org/Downloads/3_Imagine by John Lennon.pdf

    Now that lasting peace is here, I can’t think of anything to wish for, really.

  • cfdannycfdanny

    @MonkeyNeedsAHug Granted. Since you have no wishes you are cursed with never getting anything you ask for. Order a Big Mac from mcDonald’s? Get a sweaty sock.

    I wish I could fly!

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    @cfdanny
    Granted! You can fly but only 3 feet off the ground and the pace of a determined mall walker and only when completely naked.
    Muuahahahahaha

    I wish I could teleport wherever I wanted, past and future.

  • cfdannycfdanny

    @GroundingLight the height and pace wasn’t that bad, but naked?! No one wants that. Lol.

  • BearBear

    @GroundingLight you’ll get your wish. If you go to the future first and wish for the exact spot, you don’t take it to a account how fast the Earth is spinning and land in the middle of open space because the Earth hasn’t got there yet.

    If you go into the past, you trigger plague, the disease from everything you’ve carried from the future. Would you go back to the future there is practically nothing left.

    I wish I could cure people’s sickness

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    @cfdanny 🤣🤣🤣 I don’t make the rules sir lmao

    @Bear Dang it Bear!!!! 🤣

  • AutumnGratitudeAutumnGratitude
    edited September 21

    😆 🤣 the " Dang it Bear" is correct here😂 😹 that's right ✅️ @GroundingLight : please start the game again 🙏 👏 I think its the best game I saw here 😀 👍

  • JustAGuy215JustAGuy215

    @Bear Your wish is granted, but it is brought into fruition by the mega-elite. The ones who run everything. The ones you know aren't good. You have the power to cure any and all sickness, but your powers are kept secret to protect big pharma while the ones benefitting from your powers are using it to keep themselves in power and for longer than they naturally could. Congratulations.

    I wish for the power to control plants so I can finally have a pretty, weed-free garden.

  • AutumnGratitudeAutumnGratitude
    edited September 21

    @JustAGuy215 Your wish is granted:

    You now have the Ultimate power to control plants and so now you Do Have a Completely weed free garden.💫

    You did not specify which plants you want to control... you did Not say you want to control ALL plants did you...

    Hmmm... thus, all other plants Right Outside, and above of your:" house 🏡, garden and property, including garage", will be magically grow so Huuuge, So Lush... that You will NEVER EVVVERRR BE ABLE TO LEAVE Your now weed free graden and Home 🏡

    MUHHHAHHHAA

    Ah, my little wish is: I wish I was a little bit taller 🙋‍♀️💫

  • LilyAnneNovaLilyAnneNova

    @AutumnGratitude granted! You are now 0.001” taller.

    I wish to meet and share a happy, healthy, mutually fulfilling lifelong relationship with the man who is genuinely perfect for me, whom I genuinely love and who genuinely loves me, without harming, manipulating, deceiving, or removing the free will of either of us or anyone else.

  • PasquiaPasquia

    Granted. You contract a skin disease that causes callouses, the bottoms of your feet are constantly crusted over making you a quarter of a centimeter taller.

    I wish I could....manifest anything I wanted into existence.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    @Pasquia Granted! You now have everything you have ever wanted, all at once, and no place to put any of it. You are crushed by the huge mountain of stuff.

    I wish I had a nice cup of tea.

  • LilyAnneNovaLilyAnneNova

    I got skipped….

  • PeaceMonkeyPeaceMonkey

    @LilyAnneNova: Granted! You and your perfect man are amazingly happy and healthy together for the rest of your lives! Unfortunately, that lasts about three weeks, until an angry mob of people who can’t stand to see other people happy throw you both into a live volcano; sorry about that.

    I also wish for a nice cup of tea.

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    It’s diabolical in here and I’m not mad 🤣🍿

  • RaywomanRaywoman

    @PeaceMonkey @IronicMaiden: Granted! You both have a nice cup of tea, together in fact, and it's SO NICE afterwards you click glasses. When you do, the tea-leaves from both of your cups are SO NICE that they decide to get up together and awaken all the tea and herbs in the world to life, and then all of them together decide to destroy humanity because humans are NOT SO NICE.

    I wish for a good New Year of 5787 (yup, it's just after Rosh Hashannah).

  • TreasureHuntedTreasureHunted

    @Raywoman granted! You have a good New Year. Not great, not terrible, just good.

    I wish for a long nap.

  • Nick8675309Nick8675309

    @TreasureHunted granted! In fact, it’s such a long nap that you will never wake up and they will build a museum around you and generations of school children will come to see you on field trips.

    I wish I could never watch a political ad commercial again.

  • SweetCuddler33SweetCuddler33
    edited September 22

    @Nick8675309 Granted! You will never have to watch a political ad commercial again and from now on whatever side you dislike will use your house as their campaign headquarters. All of their Political ads will be filmed in the comfort of your living room . Instead of watching the commercials in tv, you get to watch it LIVE.

    I wish more people would smile 😊

  • the7thfloorthe7thfloor

    @SweetCuddler33

    Granted! Everyone smiles now, all the time, but most are not genuine smiles. They’re empty, fake, and unsettling. Now you can never tell when someone is truly happy or upset because it’s all smiles, all the time. Funerals are now terrifying. You long for the days when people were able to show their true emotions on their faces, and when a smile really meant something special.

    I wish I could always know the perfect joke to make anyone laugh in any situation.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    Granted, @the7thfloor except you will be unable to stop from using your gift, even if it's the exact WRONG time for people to laugh. Funerals, firings, and courtrooms will never be more awkward thanks to you! 🤌🤣

    I wish I could talk to animals.

  • BriblossomBriblossom

    @SpicyNSweet granted, you can now talk to every animal, but not in the correct language. You moo at geese, meow at lizards, and neigh at dogs.

    I wish I had naturally curly hair.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    @Briblossom 😂😂 considering I already babble at them like a goober anyway, it won't be that much different!

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    @Briblossom Granted! You are now a poodle.

    I wish I was already done moving to my new place.

  • AutumnGratitudeAutumnGratitude
    edited September 23

    Muhhahhaa @IronicMaiden Done ✔️ Your wish is Granted!

    Now all your house 🏠 moves Done ✔️ 👏 It is so very Done, that you can never evvveeerrr move anything more in or out of your new home 🏡 😉 forever permanently, whatever now its in there , will be forever there.. you can't even bring in one tiny 😒 🙄 little thing to amend the tap or dishwasher....

    Muhhhahhha

    My Ultimate favourite wish is: to eat delicious 😋 pumpkin pie every day this week 😋

  • AutumnGratitudeAutumnGratitude
    edited September 23

  • PeaceMonkeyPeaceMonkey

    @AutumnGratitude: Granted! In fact, the pumpkin pie is so delicious, you’re completely addicted. You can’t stop eating it. You don’t eat anything else. You don’t sleep, because that’s time that could be spent eating delicious pumpkin pie. By the end of the week, you TURN INTO A PUMPKIN PIE!!! AND SOMEBODY ELSE WITH A WISH EATS YOU!!!!! Didn’t see that coming, did ya? Too bad.

    I wish I could fall asleep easily and stay asleep for as long as I wanted.

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