@CuddlyGuy2018
Men being physically affectionate in a platonic manner has been a thing for millennia.
Also: I don’t expect you to have any opinions on things that you’ve never taken part in yourself—despite having access to a wealth of information, differing opinions, and so on.
Example: Have views on atomic energy? Throw that shit right out the window unless you’re working at a reactor. Even if those views are based on research/rationality/logic.
@hogboblin I didn't say physically affectionate in a platonic manner. I said prolonged close intimate physical contact; i.e., cuddling. I highly doubt men have been cuddling men in the manner in which men cuddle women as common practice and cross culturally and across millennia. And I doubt you have the evidence to prove me wrong.
Also, you sound somewhat bitter and irate. I think you'd be happier and healthier emotionally if you had a family and kids. But, I wouldn't expect you to have any opinions on things that you've never taken part in yourself—despite having access to a wealth of information, differing opinions, and so on. LOL
@DarrenWalker "Whee. You know, I hope I never cuddle anybody who thinks cuddling = sex. Seems dangerous."
It is.
@DarrenWalker
Also, "I'm not gay! I never even touch other men! Sitting next to one on a couch? No way! Too sexy! What if our legs brushed? Oh, the gay! It's so hot I can't stand it! I would never put myself in that situation, because I'm definitely not attracted to men!" - made me laugh out loud, thank you for that.
“I said prolonged close intimate physical contact...”
Oh, so non-platonic physical contact between men? I’m pretty sure gay men cuddle, and have done so for a very long time. Do you not believe in gay people?
"we would probably have found a way to work it into our culture somewhere here on planet earth" - You uh... you aren't a cultural anthropologist or a history major, are ya? You really think no culture on earth has male platonic affection as a component? That's ... bafflingly ignorant.
"I highly doubt men have been cuddling men in the manner in which men cuddle women as common practice and cross culturally and across millennia. And I doubt you have the evidence to prove me wrong."
Maybe he doesn't, but I do! https://filmsforaction.org/news/bosom-buddies-a-photo-history-of-male-affection/
"With all due respect, if you are asexual you really don't know what you're talking about regarding how intimacy of the type involving physical attraction works between two heterosexual people, let alone between two heterosexual men."
'With all due respect' is arguably one of the most condescending ways you can possibly say "buckle up, I'm about to be a jerk." Also, what on EARTH are you even talking about? xD "Physical attraction between two heterosexual men"? You're saying that this person doesn't understand sexual feelings between two heterosexual men? Lmao. If they ARE heterosexual men, then by definition, there isn't physical attraction between them. Your argument is invalid.
@Lorelei
Thanks for bringing the evidence. I considered grabbing some images of men cuddling and whatnot, but ultimately realized that CuddlyGuy was likely the type to have an extremely narrow world view, and a tenuous grasp on reality outside of “Us versus those nasty SJWs trying to steal our voice and personal freedoms”.
Instead, I went for snark. Which is pretty pointless in this scenario.
@hogboblin I'm not sure if your omission/neglect in acknowledging the "hetero" identifier I used several times as the fundamental piece of context to my comment is willful or ignorant but either way makes your comment about gay people irrelevant and frankly somewhat absurd given how clear I was about what I was referring to. Also it doesn't reflect well on your reading comprehension but that's just stating the obvious.
@Lorelei " You uh... you aren't a cultural anthropologist or a history major, are ya?"
No. Are uh.... are uh.... are... are you? @hogboblin Says I don't need a degree in anthropology to have an opinion on the history of cuddling so there! Also, wow! Hardly two hundred years of photographic history on what appears to be barely two continents with literally no context for individual pictures, no acknowledgement by you of the technological limitations as well as general photographic posing convention which may and probably did affect posing choice, and hardly a single couple that could be described accurately as actually cuddling... that is DEFINITELY proof that men have been cuddling as common practice cross culturally and across millennia. You sure showed me!
And finally, I really, really could not care less what your opinion is of the manner in which I speak to others. I am a grown man, and you are not my mother, so save your preachy etiquette lessons for your own family and spare me the self-righteous indignation. Although I will admit, it is funny to watch. lol.
It's been fun, but this is just too much heterophobia for me for one night. I thought cuddlecomfort would be more inclusive but it seems straight folks' preferences aren't so welcome here. Didn't expect all of this hetero bigotry upon joining. I am tapping out for now.
“hetero bigotry”
That is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever read.
@CuddlyGuy2018 there are lots of cultures around the world where close physical contact with males is very normal and not dependent on a survival situation, just not here in the majority of the US. Have you visited any countries outside the US? Other than touristy locales?
For some of the more knowledgable travelers please shed light on this as I don't want to misrepresent any cultural group with my poor memory.
Didn’t Abe Lincoln share a bed with another man, “ for warmth” on those cold nights in Central Illinois?
@mickcuddle lmfao! Related. When Franklin and Adams were chosen by Congress to meet with General Howe following the defeat at Long Island, they stopped at a small inn passing through New Jersey and it was so full they were forced to share a tiny room with one bed and one small window. Adams recounts laying together, after being summoned by Franklin to open the window and to come to bed to hear his theories on fresh air keeping colds away. As to whether they slept "butts to nuts" Adams doesn't say. Going by what appears to be popular belief on this website, it would have been perfectly common and normal for them to snuggle like husband and wife. In this case Adams would have probably been the little spoon being smaller in stature and more generally jovial and very tender in character and affection. But for whatever reason he decided to leave that portion out of his manuscripts, maybe he didn't want Abigail getting jealous. I guess we'll never know for sure.
I am a straight a male and have cuddled with my best friend (also male) many many times, it is one of the most amazing feelings in the world to have someone close to you be intimate like that.
The fact that men don't want to cuddle with men refutes the whole concept that cuddling is purely platonic to begin with. It may not be sexual activity in the traditional sense but its still essentially sexual in nature.
@dave31415 Then why are you on a platonic site? Dying to use the eggplant emoji?
@dave31415 I don't see cuddling as sexual in nature, I see it as intimate in nature. Two VERY different things. Activities, words, actions, etc.. can be intimate without being sexual and they can be both intimate and sexual. Likewise sexual activities, words and actions can be very sexual without being the slight bit intimate.
My cuddling here is by design intimate withOUT being sexual. You do you, I'll do me... don't push your philosophies on me, they don't fit. Sorry, seek to share your supposed "absolutes" elsewhere.
It's a cuddling site not a platonic cuddling site. I don't think there is such thing as a platonic website. It's for meeting people who want to cuddle. Whatever that means to them is up to them. Two people can even cuddle where for one of them it is platonic and the other it's not. How do you know what is going on in someone else's head? I am sure there are people who truly feel it is platonic and never have any feelings they would associative with erotic feeling. But knowing men at least, I'm sure that is a small fraction. If most people considered it purely platonic, you wouldn't expect to see any preference for people that are more conventionally attractive. I highly doubt that is the case. People shouldn't feel so threatened by non-platonic feelings. It doesnt imply that you are acting on them in terms of sexual activity. And if you are and that's consensual, then that's all fine as well. We shouldnt be so judgemental.
@Dave31415 - From the Terms of Use:
"You agree to never use this Website for the intent of meeting another member for sex. You also agree to never attempt to progress a meeting, organised via this website, to a sexual nature.
When communicating with another member, you agree to never indicate a desire to cuddle while doing any of the following: (1) being nude, (2) wearing only underwear, (3) kissing, (4) groping, (5) satisfying a fetish or kink, and (6) anything of a non-platonic nature."
It ** is** a platonic cuddling website. Those who don't believe it end up getting banned, sooner or later.
@Sideon Thank you for that... I was waiting to see who was going to pounce first!
@BlueIris well stated - I planned to come back at some point today to find where it said SOMETHING about being a PLATONIC ONLY website. Kudos!
@dave31415 CC community ONE, Dave31415 ZERO
@Sideon: Yay, popcorn! Can we throw it at the screen? ...I'm doing it.
@CuddlyGuy2018: As someone who's never sexually attracted to anybody, I consider myself an expert on cuddling with people one doesn't want to have sex with.
@Lorelei: [snicker] Yes, that dialogue. I may have been channeling Sarah Rees Brennan just a bit there....
I might actually give up with this. I can’t find ANYONE m or f for a caring cuddle
That's a description if what you intend or expect or what you do. It doesn't say, you are not permitted to become aroused. How silly would that be? Once you meet anyone in person you can do whatever you want. You are free people. I get it that the website has a certain community of people in kind. I understand their desire to differentiate themselves from a dating site. But guess what? People who meet on here sometimes end up dating. Gasp!
@dave31415 I think you're missing the point of why those of us are here that follow the intent of the site, the Terms of Use, etc... we are wanting, seeking and promoting PLATONIC cuddling.
Do other things happen between consenting adults? Sure, and some probably come about from what initially was no intent other than platonic cuddling. People find out that they are not good at platonic intimate contact with the opposite sex, or with that user in particular. Feelings happen and people click - I don't have a problem when that happens organically, that is human nature.
The difference is that you have suggested multiple times that the site is more, should be more and to think it isn't, is wrong. I suggest you approach it differently - assume it IS just for PLATONIC cuddling and some times the adults take detours. You seem civil enough to perhaps agree that those detours could be approached one on one after there's a sense that the two parties involved are BOTH openly suggesting more as opposed to what often happens which may unfortunately go something like this:
Female user profile states clearly PLATONIC cuddling ONLY and then guy messages, says he likes cuddling to and then asks for handjob or a BJ... Don't YOU think that is bad form? And so not the purpose or intent of the sit? Can you AGREE that that is harmful and not productive? For the site or the users on the site? It runs female enthusiasts away and limits the chances that the male users will find someone truly open and trusting to even attempt meeting and cuddling.
Yes. I agree with you almost completely. Only thing I'd say differently is that it is a site for meeting people who like to cuddle. One should always assume that meeting to cuddle will not include sexual activity (as conventionally understood). I believe that cuddling meets many of the same needs as sexual behavior for many people and so I don't believe there is clear distinction but that's a philosophical question. The website is a venue for people to meet. Once they have met, the website has done its job and then real life takes over. As someone who has met many people on here, I've seen all types of people. It's way more diverse than many of you think, for better or worse. By worse, I mean there are rapists on here. I know of stories like that. And there are escorts. But I also know of couples who met first on here. I consider that a good thing. It tends to attract people who are outside of the norm and many find it a good way to meet other people like that.
"...that meeting to cuddle will not include sexual activity, (as conventionally understood)" @dave31415 ?
CuddleComfort is explicitly platonic. It is not a hookup nor dating site.
That's what I said. Notice the word "not".
Then why the parenthetical? It negates your statement.
Because sexual activity is not so black and white especially to people with a more creative outlook. Consider the fetish community. Some people are into foot fetishes or tickling or being spanked. Is that sexual? My answer is , who cares what you call it? It may provide the same basic needs as conventional sex like intercourse. Cuddling may do the same as least for some people. To me, purely platonic behavior would be if I go out to lunch with a coworker to discuss our work. I'm not going to give her a massage. That's a different class of need for me. I compartmentalize loving touch differently and don't consider it platonic. Platonic is something where looks or gender and sexual preference or whether you are married or not would have no bearing whatsoever. Why would they list all these things on the CC profile? You wouldn't put those on a resume.
Your over-reach is showing, sir.