Are there valid reasons not to post a picture of oneself?

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  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)
    edited March 2020

    FYI - you can set pictures to “friends only” that way only people you approve can see your pictures. Taking advantage of all the sites tools is very beneficial. Setting a discount at half price for a one hour meet and greet might make it more likely for men to meet in public first and vise versa, thus eliminating the issue of either party feeling like they’re being taken advantage of ❤️

    OR ask for pictures AFTER scheduling a session so you “know who you’re looking for” that way men don’t feel like you’re going to judge them and turn down a much needed session because of how they look.

    menhaveinsecuritiestoo

  • "I fell out of the ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down" Colin Stagg.

    I think men who know they are not handsome, can also be boundary pushers ; but it is interesting to hear that handsome men are more suspect.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @geoff1000 you have a good point lol I’m just speaking from personal experience here :)

  • There's something a little suspicious about people who insist on getting a picture. And it's laughable when people say it's for safety. How exactly does a picture in an online profile help keep anyone safe when you arrive at their home or hotel - even assuming that the pic is actually of your cuddle partner? I want to believe that the people here who make that argument are smarter than that. It's an even sillier argument not wanting to meet in public without knowing what the other person looks like because you won't know who they are. Last I heard public nudity is not acceptable in most coffee shops or restaurants, so your cuddle partner will likely be wearing clothes of some sort that he can describe to you in a way that eliminates ambiguity.

    Those of us who for professional / privacy / personal or no reason at all choose not to post or send pics know that it will limit our selection. But we also know that all it takes is one person with bad intentions to take a picture sent in confidence and put it out there in cyberspace for any number of reasons- extortion, feeling scorned, to prove a point, etc. Don't think this happens? Must be nice living under a rock. But for the rest of us in the real world, it will never be worth the risk so send a pic ESPECIALLY when the other person makes such a big deal out of it. Too many other effective ways to ensure the safety of both parties to fall for that bs.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @Lucas_ great points! I’m right there with ya..... someone needed to call out the bs and you’re a hero for doing so ❤️

  • It’s sad that this has to be said and I’d rather not have my intelligence thrown into this, because it’s just common sense that it’s a safety reason. Yes, someone can harm me whether they give me a pic or not, but here are the reasons since they have to be spelt out.

    1. It’s a sign of trust. If you’re about to be in an intimate situation with them, trust is a huge thing. If you have pics of me but you can’t even trust me to have one of yours, that’s a given sign of distrust.
    2. Believe it or not, it does help with safety. They can still harm me if they had plans to do so, but the pic they give me along with their info is given to a safety contact that can be given to the police if need be. Not that I want it to get to that situation, but if I’m meeting a stranger, I need as many bases covered as I can. I’m sure knowing their pic is ready to be thrown to the police if they do anything should help deter a bit, don’t you think?
    3. Sure, they can describe their clothing before a meet up, but anything can happen and I’d rather not have to walk up to you or someone wearing a similar outfit and embarrassingly call your name. This is a personal and intimate thing so I deserve to know what you look like and meet you like a normal person would meet any stranger.

    Don’t belittle someone’s belief in photos helping with their safety. That’s not something to laugh at or make fun of. I would never belittle someone that doesn’t want to send me a pic. I would simply say “that’s your prerogative” and I would move on. I suggest you do the same and move on as opposed to attacking someone’s intelligence over something that makes them feel more comfortable in meeting strangers and connecting with them.

    Thank you...

  • So now you’re passing along the picture and personal information to a THIRD party? Lol, ok.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @Sheena123 I have different safety protocols that make my clients feel less like I don’t trust them. My safety is important but so is the comfort of my clients. I feel like making them feel like I don’t trust them right off the bat takes away from the wholesome experience they are in need of.

    All I’m saying, is there are different ways to go about things that benefit both parties in a positive way instead of being one sided.

  • I’m totally down for different ways to be safe. I’m not ok with someone bashing someones intelligence and belittling them for what makes them feel safe. If someone doesn’t like the picture idea, move on. Don’t insult and be rude and critical about it. I agree with you in doing what works for you. Keep it up. But I’d rather not have someone think I’m delusional in my methods for safety...

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    I totally agree @Sheena123 belittling anyone for anything is never OK

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)
    edited March 2020

    Here are some different ways in which I ensure my safety without making my clients uncomfortable. There isn’t a shittier feeling in the world than needing human connection and being automatically deemed a creep or untrustworthy. The last thing my clients need is to be accused of potentially harming me without just cause for such an accusation.......

    1.) I have very in-depth conversations with them about their intentions and what drew them to the site before scheduling an appointment. I tell my clients this is to “make sure our intentions are in alignment with each other”

    2.) I have a set of “trigger words” and “trigger phrases” that raise red flags and when a potential client uses one of these I bring it to their attention and let them know why it made me uncomfortable so we can talk about it. This gives my potential clients the opportunity to clarify what they meant.

    3.) I show up 10-15 minutes early not only to give us time to get comfortable before “hopping to it” like it says in my profile but also to give me time to feel out the situation before hopping in bed with them. This gives me the opportunity to gauge the situation without cutting into our time together and gives me a chance to leave before getting started if I feel uncomfortable. Being a pro cuddler means I’m good at connecting with people and with this ability to connect comes the ability to pick up on bad energy.

    4.)My sessions often start early so I can do things like get up and check my phone a few times before our time actually starts. Getting up to check my phone if I’m uncomfortable gives me an easy way to disconnect from the person’s embrace and make an excuse to leave.

    5.) If you’re one of my clients then you know I pee a lot lol I swear I don’t do this on purpose! There have been times though where my frustratingly small bladder has saved me from uncomfortable touching in situations where a client doesn’t start trying anything until half way through the session. By then they are not surprised I have to freaking pee again and this gives me a chance to safely redirect the situation by not lying back down immediately and letting enough time pass before I do to redirect their thoughts.

    I understand preventing these situations before hand is what most aim to do, but I believe in giving my clients the benefit of the doubt. I’ve been in A LOT of uncomfortable situations that I had no way of preventing or predicting. Because of those experiences, I now have a very effective system for ensuring my safety that has not failed me yet. What I don’t think women understand here is that men are just as scared as us! Men are soooo afraid of being accused of rape that it’s actually quite easy to redirect their hands and thoughts.

    I just don’t believe in making people feel shitty just to make yourself feel better...... it kind of defeats the purpose of cuddling people!

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @MissAdventurous if I could “love” your comment like on social media I would! I hope me and you can cuddle one day I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you ❤️

  • I do have plans seeing that area in the next couple months, I can definitely keep you in the loop, would LOVE to meet up. 💗 And thank you for the kind words.

  • @Sheena123
    How would you know that the pic is of the person you'll be meeting ? One way that helps is to specify the pic is with them doing something obscure, like holding one of their earlobes or making a Vulcan hand gesture under their chin. Having said that, a webcam girl would probably be happy to make all sorts of gestures.

  • @geoff1000 I always meet them in public first so it’s an obvious red flag if you send me a pic and it’s not you lol I would leave.

  • @Sheena123
    Unless of course you never make it to the meeting point. Just saying.

  • Does not cuddling people you find handsome also apply to women too? Women too good looking to cuddle with? The women here who look good, know they look good too.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    I don’t know any professionals trying to have sex because they know they’re pretty, but maybe they exist.

    My point was, because of my bad experiences with men that are confident about their looks I find myself avoiding sessions with men that have a “certain look”. I know it is not fair of me to judge these men based off their looks (the main point of this forum post) which is why I prefer not to see pictures before a session unlike the majority of the pros posting in this discussion.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    Talking to someone makes me feel more safe than seeing what they look like. That’s why I prefer to judge people based off of my conversation with them instead.

    Because really..... looks don’t and shouldn’t matter, especially if you have platonic intentions.

  • I don't care about personal appearance , for me I just think it's nice to be able to put a face with the person . Helps to feel connected .

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    Pro’s are required to have at least one photo so in your case (if cuddling a pro) you shouldn’t have to ask ❤️

  • What happens if the person you're talking to was great, then shows up and is extremely good looking . Will you cancel right then and there?

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @Kense no because I don’t ever show up for a session unless I’m absolutely certain they will not try to have sex with me

  • edited March 2020

    @cuddles4bliss You ever have someone so in love with themself that you feel left out? You know, a pure narcissist. The type that breaks boundaries with themself.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    @FunCartel

    That’s precisely my point, I’ve cuddled men that were so confident in their charm and looks that they felt it was ok to touch me inappropriately because they thought they could get away with it.

    I’ve cuddled narcissists yes.

    If you’re hinting that I am the narcissist then you are completely missing my point and I will stop commenting now.

    I made a great post a few posts up btw that is geared more towards the subject of this discussion as per the posts in the first few pages.

    I’m on the men’s side here!

  • edited March 2020

    .

  • [Deleted User]LucidDreams84 (deleted user)

    You make zero sense cuddle4bliss. You're an independent contractor, cuddle with whom you deem fit. Stop making nonsensical reasonings. Discrimination is OK, it's your personal space.

  • [Deleted User]cuddles4bliss (deleted user)

    I have such mixed feelings about your comment @LucidDreams84 😂

    Like..... I feel like your scolding me but on my side lol

    You’re right, I don’t have to cuddle anyone I’m not comfortable with. I just beat myself up because I claim to be soooo non-judgmental yet find myself judging people based off of my past experiences that have nothing to do with them. As hard as I try not to be, I am still human......

    I like to give everyone a fighting chance.

    And in all honesty, you really don’t know what kind of a person someone is until you’ve had a chance to talk to them ❤️🤷‍♀️

  • @cuddles4bliss No, I am far from hinting that you are a narcissist. Actually I was just fooling around because I haven’t really met a pure narcissist, but it sounds like you have. So ignore my jest.

    In the meantime I have to go make out with myself even though I am not in the mood.

    another joke. Can’t help myself. I guess I am a joke narcissist.

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