New and about to quit. Any reason to stay?

I thought this site was about cuddling but it is more like a dating site. You respond to mail and try to get to know someone first and if you send picture they disappear. Or it’s meet now come to my place..... excuse me lone woman here not driving an hour to a strangers place. No one willing to meet in public when profile says public not host or guest. I just wanted to find a nice cuddle not drinks and bars and pushy people, I can go out with my friends and get that or be on a dating site.
Is there actual people that cuddle?

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Comments

  • hi! im sorry for the bad experience so far that has come about! the site admin is very adamant about keeping this site about platonic cuddling. they don't at all condone the dating intents. i think they would encourage any reports made if such activity is being attempted on this site.

    as for reasons to stay... it is entirely up to you! but i know for plenty of people, it can take a while before you find your right cuddle buddy. takes a lot of sweeping away the initial misses though. im sure others can attest to that.

  • [Deleted User]TryingthisOutxo (deleted user)

    Yeah, sucks. I don't get engagement period. No one in my area.

    I would think there would be more males than females on here so perhaps you can find someone on your wavelength if you keep looking? I so agree with the not wanting to go to bars and stuff... obviously I don't experience the pushy people part myself. Nothing near pushing going on here

  • [Deleted User]TryingthisOutxo (deleted user)

    I like your username by the way. For some reason

  • edited March 2020

    @shadowofme - I'm surprised you can't find anyone being a woman. With the ratio of few women to many men on this site, the odds are heavily stacked in your favour. Of course, you will have to do the work of sorting out the good from the bad but surely that is better than having nothing to sort through like many men have. I would urge you to keep trying and not give up. There are good men out there.

  • @shadowofme
    There seems to be an ongoing conflict on the site.

    Some people say they just want to cuddle, not have a "relationship" ; then say they want to get to know their cuddle partner first, and complain about people just wanting to go straight into a cuddle session.

    As a man, I'd be happy with either arrangement : meet without cuddling first, or start with cuddling ; talk while cuddling, or be silent ; have a one-off session, or multiple sessions. It can be very difficult trying to guess what the other person wants, and then be criticised for guessing wrong.

    That may be a male-female difficulty ; when a woman says "fine", woe betide any man who takes that at face value.

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)
    edited March 2020

    @shadowofme I completely understand your frustration as a fellow female enthusiast on this site. I was on the verge of deleting my account and walking away for good just a few days ago myself. It was just one of many such attempts to quit in the past six months.

    I cannot tell you what to do now or how to navigate this site. But I will say three phrases that I have used in the past that has helped me to stay on this site and keep me thinking positively:

    Be very patient.

    Stay open minded and attuned to different people and opportunities as they come.

    Stay true to your values even if it means by passing others.

    I had one of the best cuddle experiences with a gentleman on here that I talked with on the phone for 4 months before we met and cuddled. We had no idea what the other looked like. We just kept chatting with each other and built such a great connection that we still talk to each other when we can.

    Another I have not cuddled with yet but in the last 4 months have had very thoughtful and connecting conversations with via email. Another genuine and valued connection.

    And just saying if you are willing to cuddle women consider me your first stop. I see on your profile you only cuddle men. It might be worth a shot to explore the idea of cuddling women also. If you're interested feel free to message me. Believe me I'd drive the two and a half hours to cuddle with you.

    I've driven longer to cuddle with men who either ghost or cancel on me in transit. Or kick me out when the cuddle is over after having me drive that long to see them. I have driven at 1 am in the morning to meet men to cuddle in some very rough neighborhoods. So trust me I understand.

    But I have also with patience and open minded ness found some of the most amazing men I have ever met in my entire life. Really cool, caring and humble individuals who are among the most amazing cuddlers I have encountered. Great experiences and even more awesome connections. Some of them is what keeps me from quitting. The connection I have made with them is ongoing. And it keeps me positive. That's one of the reasons I'm still on here today!

    So yes people do cuddle on this site. Your amazing cuddle is just around the corner. Be patient. Be open. Be optimistic.

  • To be fair, I did contact you. I have since posted a photo of you’d be interested. I love to cuddle and you’re local. Let’s chat and go from there. I can empathize though. Message me if you’d like to discuss more!

  • [Deleted User]TryingthisOutxo (deleted user)

    Bles if only there were women like you within 2 and a half hours of me! =p

  • You'll have to speak to Ms. Lambert lol

  • Thanks for the advice.
    @UKGuy I have some mails that seem nice but then they ghost. The rest are “send a pic and meet me now” no hi or let’s chat.
    I also have mails that when we do chat they are in a relationship and their partners don’t know they are here. I’m not interested in getting in trouble with anyone if their partner finds out and goes psycho.
    I have talked to one person who is very nice and has lots of karma and friends but is too far away(another state) to cuddle. I wouldn’t mind driving a distance but to somewhere public.

  • The concept of platonic cuddling is purely a marketing gimmick, to keep the pro cuddlers on the site. There is no such thing as platonic cuddling, there is only sexual cuddling.

  • @walkingCorpse that is such a rude incredibly incorrect thing to say. Why are you here then? To find people to have sex with?

  • [Deleted User]Damienn (deleted user)

    I mean nobody is forcing anyone to stay.

  • [Deleted User]TryingthisOutxo (deleted user)

    I think @walkingCorpse is wrong but still has a point. I'm sure women with sex appeal get more clients even if it is platonic. Not to mention, I see professionals with some pretty suggestive photos on here. It seems like the women that charge for cuddles usually are more of a match for the conventional idea of beauty than those that are willing to cuddle a man for free. Generally (Mind you I am saying conventional idea and not necessarily my own, or even objectively true). Even if the website promotes pure and simple intentions, people are not that simple, people have a lot of varying intentions, some may lack integrity, others might just merely differ from you. This may be getting off-topic but perhaps also relevant to the topic. I don't care, needs to be said, I'm getting off this website soon anyway, sick of people.

  • edited March 2020

    The concept of platonic cuddling is genuine and very meaningful to a lot of us. The problem lies that it still a relatively new idea. Like with everything means it takes a lot of time, energy, and patient.

  • If you stay you can find someone eventually, but it takes effort and time. I would suggest you stay until you feel it’s no longer worth your time.

  • @shadowofme I've found a number of sweet platonic cuddle buddies and had to weed through a lot of ones that didn't feel right for a variety of reasons.

  • the way walkingcorpse thinks isn't unpopular but i think that's the purpose of the site: to promote a new way of looking at cuddling. we are so quick in society to respond to cuddling in a sexual way, we dont allow ourselves to enjoy touch platonically. somehow we still have folks who feel strongly against intimate platonic engagement

  • It certainly does take time to find someone looking for a meaningful but platonic connection. I've been here since last July and haven't found a cuddle partner yet, but I have met with several pro cuddlers and had many wonderful experiences. Based on my conversations with the pros I've seen, there are many men here looking for sex, but also many who are polite and respectful gentlemen. As @WKCuddles and @StellaLiz said, this is still a new idea to society at large, and the community is still small. I can only suggest, if this is important to you, to keep looking and trust your instincts.

  • yes @Parad0x i would encourage everybody the same. don't give up if this is important to you! there are always people out there in between the hassle. i know my best friend who is ace himself even found himself finding someone online who was only open to cuddling platonically... he never expected that! and neither did she expect to find a dude who was happy to provide platonic cuddling only. they're a platonically cute pair lol

    and hey, as a profile holder, you essentially are free to log in and out when you want and respond to who you want. what is there to lose? there's so much more to gain tbh

  • edited March 2020

    Hang in there, finding a cuddle partner thats a good fit is worth the effort. I've also found it to be an activity that requires effort, patience, and an open mind. Over the years I've become more comfortable with adding a few photos and more detail to my profile without oversharing, or a least what I hope is oversharing. Seeing someones' facial expressions and demeanor during a conversation is very revealing, so consider using FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom as a means to prescreen prior to actually meeting with someone. It expands possibilities without the hassle of expending time and energy to travel to someone, or drinking a ton of coffee. Good luck.

  • CC ISN'T a dating site, which is one the main reasons mostly-guys get on here, check things out, get frustrated, and leave. There are both professionals and enthusiasts and yes, people DO meet and cuddle.

    Read the forums. There are the three main channels: General (this channel), Cuddle Requests (throw your hat in the ring for various cities/demographics), and Professional Cuddling (for Pros to talk shop, initiate availability, etc). Lots of wisdom in the collective pages. Check out @respectful 's incredibly helpful FAQ: here.

    If you message people, be polite/courteous, but don't get hung up on expectations of a response. This isn't Tinder, so be patient. Lastly: if people aren't willing to meet in a public setting prior to cuddling, move on.

    I wish you the best.

  • Did @walkingCorpse get banned because of his comment? Curious but I’m more curious if anyone would cuddle with someone called walking corpse.......
    @shadowofme if you like the idea and principles of the site stay, be patient and hope for the best. If your over it leave. I stay because i think at some point things will take a turn for me and it will be worth while. But i don’t ou to be on here so what they heck.

  • I'm still struggling with the people who : only want to cuddle with a person of their preferred dating gender, and want an understanding of them first, and want it to be a long-term regular arrangement ; then complain that people are treating CC as a dating site.

    Some will cuddle with either gender, or only with their non-dating gender ; some don't want any intellectual engagement at all ; and some have several cuddling partners at the same time ( even simultaneously ). I'm happy for them to say it isn't dating.

  • @geoff1000 - cuddling (whether 1, 5, or 200 people) isn't dating.

    Whatever and however others define their interactions or motivations is up to them, don't ya think?

  • @Sideon
    "Cuddling isn't dating"

    So if I had a person in my life who : is my preferred sexual gender, with whom I cuddle on a regular basis but don't kiss or have sex with, and neither of us cuddles with anyone else ; is that a platonic cuddling arrangement, or are we dating ?

    I don't understand the distinction, there must be a set of behaviours which could properly be described as either. Many pros suggest they are happy to "hang out with" clients at the normal rate.

  • A deck of cards has a subset of Diamonds, and another of Aces ; and the Ace of Diamonds is both.

    Platonic cuddling is defined by what does and doesn't occur. Dating is a very broad definition which can include almost any arrangement.

  • @geoff1000 How could you NOT understand the distinction? I would hate to think you are being intentionally obtuse.

    Cuddle = affection by appointment for a scheduled amount of hours (and often as a monetary transaction).

    Dating = going to dinner, movies, museums, phone calls (happy and sad), visiting friends and parents together, ultimately more than platonic interaction. Cuddling is actually not mandatory.

    It seems like you are, in essence, saying that if someone is unwilling to cuddle with people outside of their preferred sexual gender attraction that they are either dating or trying to have sex. Why should I have to cuddle with others I am uncomfortable sharing extended affection with just to satisfy YOUR definitions?

  • @geoff1000 - Your own scenario is platonic cuddling, unless you're BOTH doing so with romantic intent. There may BE behaviors and actions that can be described as either dating or platonic cuddling (getting to know one another, talking, massage, holding one another, etc), but it's the intention of both parties that defines both behaviors. You're intentionally blurring the lines and obfuscating the distinctions. If people expect dating, then get on Tinder. This is not a difficult concept, and your suppositions aren't helping the OP or the topic.

  • I've seen cuddling in movie theatres mentioned as platonic public cuddling, so that isn't evidence of dating.
    Dating can include interacting with each other's friends and family, but it doesn't have to.
    Some people talk about very meaningful conversations while cuddling, and sometimes having near-zero physical contact.

    Dating can be a process escalating to a stronger and deeper relationship, with kissing and sex and children and moving in together etc. but it doesn't have to.

    I'm saying that the line is already blurred, and that there is quite a wide range of arrangements which could reasonably be described as either, so people have to be more clear.

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