How do we best safely return to in-person cuddling Post-Pandemic?

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  • @geoff1000 Good points on famse positives, but I still find it better than just relying on memory. I would rather be too thorough than not enough. I would be concerned about the ATM example though, of missing exposures like that. But pricing what I already know with people's comments, I know it would never happen here. I just think it's still far superior to doing it manually. There are ways of doing it in the most confidential and randomized way to protect privacy, and Americans still would never agree to it, just by the notion. I don't have anything to hide and am comfortable with the level of anonymity with the most sophisticated versions, so I would have no problem participating until we develop better treatments, hopefully a vaccine, herd immunity, something to lessen the impact so we can treat it like any other virus in our known world. 🤷

  • I think going forward the price of admission to cuddle with another person should be each having a negative Covid 19 test result.

    I favor third party data management whereby you enter coded information into a lab’s website for access to test results vs. a hard copy that can be forged or copied. The person being verified should approve each data view with two-step identity verification. That would make me feel safer, and also protect privacy for those that want it.

  • The influenza virus is not a corona virus. A vaccine for a corona virus would be totally different than the flu vaccine. They actually haven't made any successful vaccines for a corona virus yet.

    It doesn't make sense to learn about viruses from pro cuddlers...

    Bottom line is unless a pro cuddler has already recovered from covid-19 or taken a vaccine for it, clients would be foolish to see pro cuddlers unless they themselves had already had covid19 or had the vaccine themselves.

  • "Bottom line is unless a pro cuddler has already recovered from covid-19 or taken a vaccine for it, clients would be foolish to see pro cuddlers unless they themselves had already had covid19 or had the vaccine themselves."

    @Melancholy Wow. That's pretty extreme. I am waiting until they have a solid treatment protocol and actually know what they are doing with regards to this virus, but I've risked being murdered, raped, assaulted, catching most any other kind if virus, etc from or by clients for the past two years (and them me), why should this stop us from finding connection once it's less of a risk? This isn't going away and the biological need for connection and touch hasn't gone away either. Some people may not feel comfortable fir quite some time, but for most people, we'll find a way to go back to cuddling some how, but maybe with added safety protocols to minimize risk. 😞

  • *Of course, I typically see only 1-4 people a week (when I'm traveling, obviously seeing zero now), so maybe less risky than seeing a professional seeing that many every single day. Further point that there are things you can do to lessen risk and people must look at each situation individually...

  • @ubergigglefritz
    ( cc. @Melancholy )
    I agree with you on that one. There are already 101+ ways for a cuddle to go wrong ; and pre-Covid-19, there wasn't a hard insistence on avoiding all of those other risks.

    Covid-19 is a new risk, so we'll have to work out a way to cope with it, but I think we'll do that before the risk becomes negligible. Some international travellers are being required to quarantine for 2 weeks, and I similarly expect that will be relaxed over time, whether it be by temperature measurement ( as was done with SARS ) or testing, or something else.

    I'm reminded of the response to 9/11 including locked aircraft cabins, which allowed the Germanwings co-pilot to crash his plane into the Alps. I don't expect pro-cuddling will attract specific legislation, because it is still so rare, so it will be up to us to work something out.

  • What if we bring a test! Seriously take a covid test....asking for a friend.

  • Reading through this thread reminded me that some people should really lock themselves into an underground shelter and throw away the key.

    Then, they will be finally completely safe.

    For the rest of us, invisible market hand will determine the course of action.

    If someone wants to hug a popular girl, he will simply have to put up with the conditions she lists ($200/hour, $200/test, $200 hotel, 3 references, phone interview with his mother, resume, underground shelter,...) or forget about it :)

  • TLDR; The lonelier and more desperate man is, the more hoops will he jump through to get a hug.

  • @Siberian76
    You are probably right. The world is unfair. If you were born a popular girl, willing to be cuddled for money ; you could have a short career of doing that.

    However, imagine a world where that option did not exist, where someone who wanted to hug a popular girl, had no means of doing so.

    Would that be a better place ?

    A person who suffers from diabetes must check their blood sugar regularly and inject insulin. It is awkward, risky and unpleasant. Before 1921, they had a very short life expectancy.

    Many of us live in cities, but we can virtually escape in television or movie theatres, or really escape on a cheap flight holiday. The world allows us to save up and do things, which in previous decades or centuries would be impossible.

    As my father used to say, "I was sorry for the man with no shoes, until I met the man with no legs".

  • You have completely missed my point if you think I was complaining that world is not fair.

    Nobody is entitled to anything.

    Let the two people involved in cuddling figure out for themselves how far they are both willing to go...

  • @Siberian76
    My mistake, but "put up with" suggested a negative attitude.

    Whatever one wants, there is often someone in the world who is willing to provide it ; and the Internet allows them to connect. Ants and termites have colonies of maybe thousands, but humanity is a colony of billions.

  • Imagine a world where that option >wouldn't exist.

    Funny you should say that.

    Because prostitution has been around, as the oldest trade, forever.

    If one is feeling desperately lonely and really needs a hug, he always has had this option.

  • And here we go again with the comparisons to prostitution ....

  • @Siberian76
    I have a very healthy respect for "working girls", but some people feel offended by the comparison, so I don't use it.

    In some countries, prostitution is illegal ; and if there were a police raid while one is just platonically cuddling, the outcome would probably be just as severe. I suppose they could always travel to a country which allows it.

    A woman who wants to platonically cuddle, would probably struggle to find a professional man, and would probably not trust anyone she found on a casual basis.

  • @pmvines :
    I'm not comparing the two, you're taking it completely out of context.

    I'm merely pointing out that paying for a hug is not a 21st century development, that's all.

  • I think there are countries where even a platonic cuddle ( between people who are not married ) is illegal.

  • @Siberian76 But you did compare it to prostitution when you said “there is always that option (prostitute)” for a hug. Implicit to that statement is that a pro cuddler and a prostitute do the same thing for money. Hence it is a comparison.

  • I didn't interpret it that way at all. I think people can be too quick to jump on someone for even mentioning the word "prostitute". He didn't say it was the same thing. Before cuddlers, some people hired sex workers to just cuddle or to feel a hug. That's all he was saying. I think professionals can be a bit sensitive to the word as well sometimes and I have had arguments with other professionals over the matter. We are parallel industries. It is what it is. I'm not afraid to talk about it and I'm not afraid to admit how we are similar, in addition to how we are different. There's nothing wrong with sex workers, it's just not what I do.

  • @HoldenCaulfield I'm hoping that bill doesn't pass. The $600 added to unemployment is currently a joke, anything more complicated will be an even bigger joke (like the heroes compensation), and it's so full of other unrelated fluff. They just need to pass a universal monthly stimulus and be done with it. The government tries so hard to figure out who needs or deserves support, when they'll never cover all situations of need or deserve. Especially in this situation, it's essentially everyone (and most of those who don't will just spend it, helping the economy anyway), so just make it universal. It's incredibly frustrating how long this is taking and how complicated they're making it (some people still haven't even received their $600, and I know my unemployment is a disaster along with many others), when it could be so simple and be DONE if they would just pass a universal stimulus.

  • edited May 2020

    @ubergigglefritz
    My bad. I tried to link to a WaPo article that appeared at the top of their Coronavirus update page. I didn’t realize that more recent updates would push the article I wanted to link down the page and out of sight.

    A quick web search will find the article. In searching for it, I see a lot of papers are putting “cuddle buddy” in scare quotes, and then interpreting that as “sex partner”.
    (You win some you lose some.)

  • The more prostitution is mentioned in conjunction with cuddling the more of a stigma you will have to overcome regardless of how it is meant. Deny it if you will but it is the truth.

  • The cuddle curtain

  • @FunCartel I think having the comfort to talk about it instead of just shoving it under the rug helps keep the distinction more clear. If we don't talk about it, people will think what they will. Having a conversation and not shutting people out allows communication and then understanding to occur. My opinion and experience anyway. 😊

  • In counties where brothels or prostitution are illegal, the establishments are called "massage parlours" ; which is awkward for any establishment which really does offer only physical / emotional massage.

    The term "sleep with" someone, is a euphemism for having sex with them ; awkward for someone who really does just want to cradle someone in their arms until either or both of them fall asleep. ( Both people, not both arms. 😀 )

    One advantage of using a "working girl" for cuddling, compared to using a pro-cuddler, is that the "working girl" has much looser "boundaries" ; so is less worried about them being pushed, and they are easier to keep within. However, cuddling is a different emotional experience, stronger in some ways ; and some "working girls" may not be willing to do that.

    Whatever one is looking for, one should not expect to find the ideal person the first place they look. As the fairytale princess said on the day she married the handsome prince, "I had to kiss a lot of frogs".

  • Being able to talk about the differences with a handful of people is anecdotal. But if you link prostitution with cuddling in a sentence regardless of how the sentence is framed is bad news when you are talking millions of people. Any PR or advertising firm would tell you that. You wouldn’t run an ad campaign saying “I am similar to a prostitute only better.” The word prostitute is loaded with meaning—much of it negative. No matter if they are referred to as sex workers now. The connotation Of sex is already in the collective consciousness of the general population when prostitution is referred to and you are starting in the hole by even mentioning it in the same breath as cuddling. Better to distance yourself and underscore the benefits of platonic cuddling than undo centuries of organized religion’s shaming physical touch. That is the big picture.

  • @FunCartel
    Fair point. Hearing or reading the words together, creates a mental link.

    Apparently Adolf Hitler was fond of animals, but that isn't the characteristic which we most think of, when people are compared to him. We use "lead" ( the metal ) in a description to imply something is heavy ; gold is almost twice the density, but we use that to imply instead that something is valuable.

  • I mostly agree about PR, but this is a forum of people who have already come together on the interest of cuddling. I think people on this website, particularly pros, can be way too quick to judge sometimes and silence any conversation of this type, which only closes communication and teaches people simply to not mention it. You think that sounds good, but actually results in professionals putting themselves in a more dangerous situation. Do you know how many people I've seen over two years who thought this was sex? One. And that was my own fault because the situation caused me to go lax on screening. Encouraging people to feel comfortable communicating is key to everyone understanding exactly what this is, and everyone (professionals and enthusiasts) to stay safe. Yet again, we just disagree. Even with PR, you have to understand your audience. Or maybe I suck, lol. But if I were doing a news piece for college students, you KNOW their mind is going to go right in the gutter, so better to put it out in the open and explain what it is and is not and the boundaries involved. If you don't bring it up, they're just going to assume and go into the situation with that assumption. But I'm tired, ha. We just aren't seeing eye to eye... 😇

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