@xandriarain I know exactly what you mean about people making assumptions.
Many years ago, after I had quit drinking for over a decade, I ate some dodgy pate for tea. Feeling unwell that evening, I went for a short walk to settle my stomach and clear my head. The place where the pate decided to reverse its path through my oesophagus, was right outside my local pub. I afterwards knew exactly what everyone who passed by was thinking.
One of my regular taxi customers had a condition related to Parkiinson's, causing him to walk unsteadily ; and he had trouble with other drivers refusing to collect him from the pub, thinking he was drunk. I advised him to carry a walking stick, even though he didn't really need one, so people would be less likely to jump to that conclusion.
I'm genuinely trying to help here. If you are walking slowly in a park, with a man 30 years your senior, maybe you could carry a stick ; or ideally a white one, while wearing dark glasses. This would explain why you are holding onto his arm.
If people are likely to jump to a conclusion, it's best to offer them one of your choosing ; like the best way to get away with a crime, is to make sure someone else is convicted of it. It's also fun to fool people that way, mocking their judgementalism.
@Lev136 Everyone has their preferences for cuddling but, particularly with the current situation, that may not always be possible.
As they say in my part of the world, "Owt's better than nowt" = "Something's better than nothing".
@geoff1000 ,
That’s why I’m thinking a movie night or even a short walk to just talk would work at this time. It still allows you to be with someone.
@Lev136 A short walk outdoors with Social Distancing, might be a useful way to meet, before then regularly voice- or video-calling. The real physical meet might have been less personal than an indoor meet, but it was at least "real" rather than virtual.
I'm thinking of a parallel with watching a movie on a small screen, having seen it at a movie theater ; the small screen isn't as good, but it evokes the memory of the big screen experience. Listening to a CD is better quality sound than a live venue, but the live venue is still often a better experience. Few of us can afford to get our favourite bands to play live in our homes.
Just thinking of some alternative activities here!!
I've stopped accepting in-person cuddle sessions since mid March. Being in NY and no vaccines available yet & no reliable treatments, while we know many Covid-19 infected people are asymptomatic & can unknowingly spread it around. This is why I'm being very cautious and I'm not in NO RUSH to resume my in-person cuddle sessions. It's just the responsible way to do. I liked the idea of Covid-19 Antibody test, but as of right now CDC claimed that those Antibody test are not so reliable, as they proved to give false positive test results, up to HALF of those test results are wrong. This is a huge problem as it's giving those people a false sense of security, believing that their positive Antibody test providing them immunity protection for Covid-19. In order for me to feel more comfortable resuming in-person cuddle sessions, one of the following has to happen: Covid-19 vaccines or reliable Covid-19 antibody test or reliable Covid-19 medical treatments. Without any one of those, I just feel that it's still way too risky. I'm always in good health my whole life, but I don't want to catch this coronavirus & unknowingly spread it around, that can potentially kill someone. It's best to stay safe.
I've stopped accepting in-person cuddle sessions since mid March. Being in NY and no vaccines available yet & no reliable treatments, while we know many Covid-19 infected people are asymptomatic & can unknowingly spread it around. This is why I'm being very cautious and I'm not in NO RUSH to resume my in-person cuddle sessions. It's just the responsible way to do. I liked the idea of Covid-19 Antibody test, but as of right now CDC claimed that those Antibody test are not so reliable, as they proved to give false positive test results, up to HALF of those test results are wrong. This is a huge problem as it's giving those people a false sense of security, believing that their positive Antibody test providing them immunity protection for Covid-19. In order for me to feel more comfortable resuming in-person cuddle sessions, one of the following has to happen: Covid-19 vaccines or reliable Covid-19 antibody test or reliable Covid-19 medical treatments. Without any one of those, I just feel that it's still way too risky. I'm always in good health my whole life, but I don't want to catch this coronavirus & unknowingly spread it around, that can potentially kill someone.
@CaringSoul You have my utmost respect and I hope I have the opportunity to reach out some day to you and book a session. You are definitely a pro I would trust.
@CaringSoul Agree 100%. My plan also includes not going to NY or NJ. 😆 I'm glad it sounds like you and your loved ones made it through so far. I know one person who died in NYC and a couple people in the area who were hospitalized with complications, all were confirmed positive with COVID-19. One was put on a ventilator and seems to be recovering after starting the new medication. 🤞 I haven't done a session since the start of March, but I am hopeful.
@FunCartel thank you for the kind words. That would be awesome 😊 to have an opportunity to someday meet with you for a session. I'm actually preparing to move out of NY to relocate somewhere in Central Virginia sometime this Fall, once I find my new house to buy. If you're going to be in that area once I moved there, I can host my session there. Just waiting patiently for when it's safe 🙏to travel there to look for a house. Stay safe.
@ubergigglefritz yes NY unfortunately got hit very hard with Covid-19. The last time I cuddled with a client was March 13th & since 1st week of March, I've been only booking clients who has not been in any large gatherings or travel 3 weeks prior. I also had both of us, use hand sanitizer prior to our session & no face touching for extra precautions. I've been home since & I only go out for food shopping, once a month, wearing face mask and gloves, and practicing 6 feet physical distancing. I'm grateful 🙏that my loved ones and myself are safe and healthy. I don't know anyone close to me that got coronavirus, but one of my girlfriends in NJ, she called me last month. She told me that 2 of her friends in NJ, both of them, their Moms died of coronavirus. She said it was so sad, both of her friends could NOT even attend their mothers funeral 😢. And to make it worse, both of them, their husbands are both in the hospital ICU on a coma due to coronavirus. So yeah you should not visit NY/NJ yet. Some parts of NY suburban area Upstate & Long Island, they are slowly opening up, but not the NYC area yet. We flattened the curve with the lockdowns to not overwhelm the hospitals, but the virus is still around. We still have to be cautious to prevent possible 2nd surge this Fall or Winter, especially since we don't have any vaccines yet, nor reliable Covid-19 antibody test. I miss cuddling with my clients too. Many of them have been wanting to book in-person cuddle sessions, but I advised them to be patient, as it's not safe yet. Stay safe. This too shall pass.
@CaringSoul I spent a good chunk of my childhood in Virginia and I go there all the time, so I will look you up when I am there after it is safe to travel by plane.
@FunCartel oh cool 👍🤗. Once it's safe to travel, I'm going to be looking for a new house in Mechanicsville in Hanover County & also the West End area like Glen Allen, Short Pump or Near West End area.
@CaringSoul I am in Richmond a few times a year. I normally stay in Chester or downtown because I have a large client near Philip Morris at the Port of Richmond. But I always have a car, so count me in!
@CaringSoul My home base is central Virginia. I love the west end / short pump area personally. 😊
@FunCartel sounds like a plan, you got it 👍. @ubergigglefritz I'm jealous lol. Yes I heard so many great things about those awesome neighborhoods. I'm excited to move there sometime this Fall.
I saw this coming from my alma mater and it reminded me of a really foolish person asking about organizing a cuddle party back in April
https://abcnews.go.com/US/alabama-students-throwing-covid-parties-infected-officials/story?id=71552514
I find it interesting that the OP's question was about POST pandemic and discussing safety strategies. Yet, the topic thread seems to have veered very far from that. I hope once we truly are post pandemic that this site will return to the purpose of believing touch is normal and helping people receive that touch. It may be wise to look at the long term picture here. People need to believe there is a day of hope in order to get through this and keep an altruistic mindset during this pandemic. I suspect many are also hanging on for the day when they will get that loving touch again. However, that will require an abundance of people on this site who aren't germaphobes. Posting all the bad news to scare them into compliance today could result in some people having a harder time finding someone to touch them POST pandemic.
Yes you are right. How germaphobic of me. I must be shattering dreams everywhere right now.
Germaphobe some indeed are. That may also be viewed as an extreme reaction under normal circumstances. Being overly cautious is also a normal human reaction to extraordinary circumstances. And this pandemic is anything but normal circumstances.
Still it is far more constructive to stay hopeful and positive for the best outcome despite the extraordinary circumstances as currently exist. While practicing the best habits that's proven to keep one safe and healthy through this pandemic. Rather than highlight and emphasize all the bad news and worse case scenarios. So true.
It is also true that "altruism" in the cuddle universe is not only about acknowledging the human need for physical touch. It is also about acknowledging different human needs for touch which often goes way beyond the physical. On this site as in the world in general that's what is missing. That's what is often not seen as "normal".
The extraordinary circumstances brought on by this pandemic only exposes this uncomfortable and unacceptable truth among many other things.
Ummmm.....since when has our status been post epidemic.
Wow.
Its great to choose to not live in fear. You can do that until you or someone else you knows gets this deadly disease. Looking the other way gets people run over.
@Riverhawk Good quote. 👍
I think it is Kevin Kline in The January Man ( but I may be mistaken), where a firefighter tells a colleague, "Two things will keep you alive : water, and fear".
"There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots ; but there are no old, bold pilots. "
Being educated about the world and issues is what will bring a POST pandemic solution. Keeping your head in the sand, is not.
It's not about fear, it's about being informed and doing whats best for ALL, not just you. Stick with the science and facts, nothing else is changing around here for the better to be closer to cuddling until we all are on board.
Being positive doesn't mean you ignore the negative, it means being optimistic that through our actions as a WHOLE, we will come together again to cuddle, see our loved ones, ect. without the threat of something more to come from such an interaction.
In fact, a positive trait, like being aware of others, is as altruistic as we can get in a world that is all about ME, ME, ME. Instead about WE.
Stay safe out there all.
This is our dedicated overflow floor we have for stable covid patients in addition to our overflow ICU dedicated for covid patients on vents and not otherwise stable. One of the covid patients I was doing some discharge planning on yesterday code blued while I was on the phone speaking with their spouse . So forgive me if somebody being mad about face masks and whining about a lack of cuddlers is met with a lack of importance. I am one of the most positive people you could meet. But I don't live in la la land . Fearful? Never . Realistic ? Always!
Upstate New York has entered Phase 4 reopening. Massage Therapy is open with restrictions. Massusses & clients must wear masks & face rests dissinfected between clients, gloves and many other requirements. However, a massusses is an arms length away from the client, not quite social distancing but the important thing is masks. Snuggling is much closer & well within the distance the virus can travel by simply breathing. Talking expels more virus. So the question becomes: would it be safe to cuddle if both wearing masks? Perhaps if certain precautions are followed? No face to face positions, or positions where the sides or top of masks are in alignment as this is where masks often aren't tight. Little talking. Wash hands before & after session. Don't touch your face or your partners. Most important is masks. If someone is asymptomatic pos, mask will protect well but not perfect. The partners mask should stop the rare virus that escapes the others. What do others think of this approach?
@cuddleaddict I feel the answer will depend on the professional. Personally, I feel like my sessions are about so much more than just touch. I'm just not sure what else is left if you are wearing masks and not supposed to be talking much. =( I'm still not sure what my plan is and when I will be able to return to "normal", but I am still not happy with the current "smart" options. =( To not have access to words or facial expressions, it just feels like such a hindrance to what my service usually is. The whole situation makes me really sad. =(
How about a video meeting for half of the time, then a masked-up silent face-away physical cuddle for the second half ? They could even be on different days.
I'm thinking of a parallel with a dinner date which ends with a cuddle. The facial communication is an important part, but it doesn't have to be continuous and at the same time. I like it when my cuddle partner sleeps, but best after some talking. Many good cuddling positions aren't good for facial communication.
ubergigglefritz, I couldn't agree more that snuggling sessions are normally so much more than what I've outlined. My suggestions only based on medical/scientific fact as of today.
It will be a long, indefinite time until normal cuddling can resume, some areas much more time than others. Availability of vaccine & reliable antibody testing will help greatly, but again, when? I fear some will grow so desperate for cuddle that they may ignore reality, and give in to unsafe cuddling, which could spread to so many others.
Most of the U.S. now showing what happens when people disregard laws or recommendations. Upstate NY rare exception, curve under control for some time & most following mandates to keep it from resurging.
Some have suggested snuggling ok when massage therapy approved, as it is here now, but with masks, gloves, cleaning face support & other requirements. Snuggling is much closer proximity, so we must be quite careful. The ideas I suggested only applicable to regions in world that are doing as well.
Carressing, except face, likely safe now that very recent studies show object spread of live virus is unlikely, test may show pos, but virus likely dead. Quite a revelation. I'd still wash areas touched immediately after cuddle.
I know the talking thing is major. New confirmed studies show virus within mucous, as in a cough, falls quickly, thus social distancing. Also new unfortunately- normal talking exhales individual virus that can survive long times even in central a/c systems! Thus new filters in study now. But no mask talking definitely hazardous. Perhaps the idea of a Zoom talk as geoff1000 suggests immediately before cuddling would help.
Yes, idea includes many compromises, but trying to find safe alternative for those that might be desperately in need & some safe ideas for pros. btw- I like the term "Touch Wellness Professional". You sound like a very caring person and deserve to be titled as such.
@cuddleaddict I like @geoff1000 's idea about doing some of the time outside talking at a distance and some of the time inside cuddling quietly. I might incorporate that when I do sessions.
In response to your post, the problem is that this is an absolute biological need. People who have no other way of getting this need met are really suffering psychologically. I fear the effect on everyone if we can't help them for another year. But I don't know what else to do. =( I don't want to get sick or get anyone else sick. It's a very difficult and confusing situation for sure.
I have strict safety requirements in place for cuddle sessions and am only seeing very limited clients and being very selective with who I consider seeing. I have them agree to a health screening and verification of temperature before we meet in person. I follow all the safety precautions and also monitor my temperature and share that before the session as well, as my goal is to protect both my health and anyone I come in contact with. I'm also spacing out any meetings by at least two days apart, so being very cautious.