@ubergigglefritz I understand where you’re coming from with men making assumptions based on pictures but I refuse to change my pics to be purely face and change who I am to suit them. I am allowed to have pics of me in a Simpson’s Halloween costume, or wearing a pretty dress or and at one point I was even wearing my wedding dress. If they think sexually because of it, that’s their fault and not my own. I have large breasts and I will never apologize for them and their supposed confusion for those that try to only pin point pictures as the problem. If I was in a bikini and making some duckface look in the camera, then yes, that’s obvious. But I am honestly done with women being the ones blamed for men being pigs. I have been on other cuddle sites where I’m only wearing a T-shirt and the pic is from shoulders and up, and I still was sexually harassed with comments. Can we please stop sexualizing simple Pictures of women wearing normal clothes? I value a lot of what you say but I’d like you to not point out that my pictures have a tone. I find it offensive and I would like to freely wear what I want without the old age thinking of “well, she deserved it with what she’s wearing”. It’s rude. I ask the appropriate questions. The certain sexualized body parts happen to be larger on me. I’m proud of my body and if that seems to be the only reason some can think as to why I’m being harassed, that’s part Of the problem. I don’t like being snippy but I’m done with certain members of society controlling what a woman can wear because a man doesn’t know how to act. I’m not walking around a jiggle away from falling out and I’m not licking my lips in photos saying “come get it boys”. If me being in a dress makes you think sexually of me or makes you think I’m the problem, reroute. Thank you.
@Sheena123 - Seriously. There's nothing wrong with your pictures. I read a post awhile back that a woman who had no photo of herself at all was getting sexually harassed. The only thing the guy knew is that she was female. The internet is the wild west and guys feel like they can behave the way they want to without repercussions.
@Mike403 you’re exactly right. I’m just so tired of the Christian view that the reason a woman is getting harassed is because Of her clothing. No, Mother Mary , it’s because some men were raised wrong and a lot of them grow up thinking women are purely meant for sex. There’s nothing wrong with looking at someone and finding them sexy, even thinking sexual thoughts! But when you act on them, that shows your lack of respect for another human being. If I am saying constantly “I am platonic, I will not accept anything that is sexual” that is not some kind of clue for them to unravel and assume I want the opposite just because of my PICTURES!
@Sheena123 - The fact that they wait until the conversation moves off site to ask inappropriate questions shows that they know what the rules are. They're just doing it for the shock value. Some sickos think it's entertainment to sexually harass strangers on the internet. Since this thread about ghosting, I'd kinda be okay with ghosting those people. (only if they explicitly send sexually harassing texts). Don't give those trolls any more attention than they deserve.
I pretty well tell them no thank you and I report them.
"But when you act on them, that shows your lack of respect for another human being." We never talked about action, but questions. Also, in no way does suggesting pictures affect a man's impressions of what services are available imply at all that I think a woman DESERVES to be assaulted. And again, we never even were talking about actual actions. Just requests.
The fact is that there ARE women on here who offer other services. They all offer hints as to this fact on their profiles in subtle ways that men who are looking for those services will look for. That WILL be the case until it is legalized. And the pros NEVER admit to this on the website, they will always claim platonic services, because they don't want to get banned. I don't blame men at all for looking for these women if that's what they want. It's not currently legal, so they have to find them how they will, and the services will always be offered by some women somewhere, no matter the legality. It's been in our world since basically the beginning of civilized society.
The only way to reduce any confusion for the men is to eliminate any similarity between our profiles and the ones hinting at it. It's just facts. But I should have asked if you cared to have fewer such requests before offering suggestions to do so. Personally, I hate it when I get propositioned. I'm on the asexual spectrum and it makes me very uncomfortable and feel dirty. So anything I can do to reduce that confusion, I am perfectly happy to do.
Didn't mean to offend. Just trying to offer my impression. I would definitely want someone to tell me if my pictures seemed sexual at all, because my goal is to have all of those people looking for that to go inquire somewhere else. Obviously, some will always still come through, but it's successfully pretty rare for me. But ok. Have fun. 👍 I just wanted to defend myself because you completely twisted my words around and what I was saying.
@ubergigglefritz half of what I said was directed at the rest of the assumption about women and clothing. I understand that there are plenty of women here “undercover” but I have been here for a long time and have said multiple times that I am platonic. Whether you believe that or not, I am not one of those women that says platonic to follow the “rules” but then hopes to get creeps. I don’t like the insinuation that I should change my photos to change the way men behave. You’re allowed your opinion but I like to look beautiful. If in your mind, I have to adhere to a specific dress code and let the men’s libido control what I wear, that’s not happening. I’m a respectful person and of course I don’t want that kind of attention. I don’t even like that you felt you had to say “ But I should have asked if you cared to have fewer such requests before offering suggestions to do so.”. Of course I don’t want those requests but women shouldn’t have to wear burlap sacks in order to curb that. The reason why I took immediate offence to what you said is because your comments made it seem like it’s all on me. There is no blame to the men. All I heard was “well, if you dress that way and get sexual comments, it’s your fault”. Reword it how you want but in my mind it felt like you didn’t care to realize it’s the men who need to change. Women should be able to wear what they want comfortably and not have to receive sexual comments. You go one way, I’ll go mine. I believe in freedom of wear. If I sit in an office, guaranteed I will still wear something professional but very cute, and it will still get sexualized. No matter what platform women are on, we are always getting attacked for what we wear or what our pictures look like. It’s time to start going after the men that think it’s ok to say what they say. You and I agree on a lot of things but I think it’s safe to say this is not one of them.
@ubergigglefritz .. I’m not sure that I understand your statement .. tagged to me .. the statement “ a reason not to send a deposit is a support to their legitimacy “
So does that mean a deposit supports the pro cuddlers legitimacy?
With evidence for their legitimacy.
So you recommend only deposits for legitimate pro cuddlers .?
@ubergigglefritz all women aren’t built the same so those with more curvy figures will look different in what is completely normal clothing like the clothes @Sheena123 has on her profile. Your statement ensued that unless you’re built like a 12 year old boy that there’s certain clothes you shouldn’t wear or at least post pictures of yourself wearing unless you want undesirable attention. But let’s pretend for a second we lived in a world where you put pictures of yourself in fetish wear or church clothes or anything in between on this site. Guess what ? It still shouldn’t matter if one says they’re not interested in sexual activity that’s that no matter what clothes they have on. I know why the rule is place to adhere to a platonic message. And also your sexuality or in your case asexuality should have no bearing on what you wear or choose not to wear. You would still be entitled to same respect as anyone else.
(sigh) I don't know why this is even a discussion. It doesn't matter if a woman is wearing a bathing suit or a nun's outfit. They are human beings and deserve to be treated as such.
Thank you guys 🥰 that means a lot to me. Anyways, how about those cuddlers getting ghosted eh?
I would never suggest wearing your “ get em girl “ skirt to job interview or a family get together lol. But there’s no shame under the right circumstances in looking good , feeling sexy and confident about yourself. And it would be another thing if you or any pro who posted “ sexy” pictures ( it’s also subjective what’s sexy and what’s not ) and was cryptic ambiguous in the wording of your profile what you offered or during messaging. But I know for a fact you’re not.
This subject derailed a lot. @Sheena123 you’re awesome and nothing is wrong with your pics. Your sessions are magical and platonic. I can attest to that.
So, back to ghosting. Lol
@ILikeWarmHugs 👻👻👻👻
@Sheena123
💖💖💖💖 much love my dudes!!
Yes, back to ghosting. Lol I really think having some sort of warning point system will help stave off the pros who don’t care.
Like some sort of demerit system or 3 strike rule ?
Exactly!
I think if a pro ghosts a cuddler or acts incredibly unprofessional, there should be a warning. If they do it a second time, they should have their account paused for a month. If they do it a third time, they should be banned. I would say this is within the span of maybe 4 or 5 months maybe. What do you guys think? So if they screw up 3 times within 4 months, they should be banned. I think that’s a fair amount of time. If a pro ghosts someone and gets a warning but is great for the next 4 months, then the slate gets wiped clean and the warning system starts over again.
An effective solution instead of the demerits is to get them in the purse, ie... pauses profile with a reinstatement fee..
Or. 25% commissions instead of 15% for the next ten session hours
Oh I haven’t thought of that. The only issue is if these crappy pros scam some guys out of money, it wouldn’t rake much for money to buy them back in. But it’s an idea 💡
Paid restitution
@Sheena123 "I really think having some sort of warning point system will help stave off the pros who don’t care."
Well in theory karma is supposed to serve a similar purpose, right? I think probably the same problems with karma would appear in this warning system, maybe even moreso. Men would hesitate to flag cuddlers for the same reasons they hesitate to leave bad karma. Personally I am not willing to potentially harm the income stream of a young woman trying to make ends meet, even if she's bad at her job. I know a couple cuddlers who are just plain bad, who are shockingly difficult to communicate with, who are the most flaky, unreliable people I've ever met, and who aren't that great even if you finally get to meet them... and they both have very positive karma.
But even worse, some men can be shitty too, and I can foresee men using the prospect of flagging a cuddler as a way to manipulate her.
I think it would work better for karma in a way where the person reporting the negligence wouldn’t be singled out. Just like making a normal report. These women that don’t care about their jobs shouldn’t be able to still make money if they continually get men excited to meet and then ghost them. I’ve talked with you and you’re very sensible and have it together certainly more than most! Being ghosted may not seem to be the worst but to some of these other men, it can sometimes seem like the last ditch effort to make some communication and feel like they matter. Then they get ghosted and think the worst thoughts. I think with some kind of system in place where the “pro” actually gets dealt with, maybe something good can come out of it. Certainly better than absolutely nothing happening to these women!
@SanFranResident makes a good point. There's already a feedback system in place, albeit flawed. There's also already a warning system in place with the mods, though not with points. The original problem seems to be that the mods aren't counting this problem as one worthy of being warned for. Designing a complicated system isn't necessarily necessary when it could be fixed simply by adding this complaint to the list worthy of a warning. 👍
There's actually another factor about this idea of making ghosting/flaking a bannable offense.
So in my experience the fraction of consistently reliable pros is rather small. Not sure the numbers, but definitely under 50% of the ones I've seen. That doesn't mean all of the rest are Queen Flake level, but I'm pretty confident that if pros were banned for no-showing a few appointments or ghosting a few people, most cuddlers I've seen would be banned.
So my question is: is the site better off with the current number of pros (many of whom are kinda flaky) or would it better with half as many pros (all of whom are reliable)? Many if not all of those flakes are at least doing some cuddling with someone, and so maybe the site is better with them than without.
Not to discount the damage done by ghosting. Ghosting is childish and potentially hurtful.
I guess it would have to be thought out as what’s more important. The damage done to those ghosted or the occasional good times they’ve given. Hmmm 🤔
@SanFranResident - Obviously they're doing some cuddling or they wouldn't be here. Picking and choosing based on who they deem attractive isn't very professional. Quality over quantity.
@Mike403 yea, that’s a “bad pro” move for sure!