I have been lucky enough over the years in the site that I was never ghosted by a pro nor by an enthusiast but this conversation is about pros so I’m sure a problem does exist because complains pop up here and there on the forums so that is actually indicative of a bigger problem in real life because there are many users that will get ghosted or no showed and will just quit the site in embarrassment and we won’t hear their stories. It goes further than that because I’ve read stories on the forum about guys getting a hotel room, paying for it, showing up for the session and then the pro is nowhere to be found. The worst part about this is that usually the pro in question continues to belong to the site and there are no consequences for them so something has got to change and make this better. And it can be very frustrating because something similar almost happened to me late last year, I reserved the hotel room, paid for it and a few hours before the session I got a text from the pro saying she couldn’t make it and could we do it another day. I told her I’d already paid for the room (almost $100) and luckily we were able to change the time to accommodate her schedule and the session happened. But I could’ve easily been out $100 and no cuddles, so it is a real problem.
Before I finish I’d like to offer my opinion on the pictures issue that came up a few comments ago. First of all if guys sexualize a picture is on them not on the girl, I don’t subscribe to the “she is asking for it” way of thinking, we’re human beings and if we decide to act as animals is on us. Second @Sheena123 pictures are nice and tasteful and she shouldn’t have to apologize for them or like she said for having a body with curves. Lastly, I had a lovely session with Sheena at the beginning of the year and I would’ve had another one before she left had it not been for the pandemic, so we are lucky to have Sheena here and I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that.
@cuddleversed thank you very much! 😁 that means a lot. I hashed it out with Uber and we’re at an understanding place!
I definitely believe it’s something that gets swept under the rug far too many times. I know it’s more times in my experience that there have been bad or creepy clients and I’m happy the mods jump on that. They’re amazing at protecting us pros from certain sexual deviants. We show proof and boom, they are banned. This site is platonic so I understand the immediate banning of these guys that ask some pretty gross questions, but what about pros? I don’t think pros are doing anything bad enough to be banned, but the fact that I’m not hearing anything being done about it makes it upsetting. Some say it’s not my business to “police” this. I’m not policing but it’s definitely an issue for me when I hear all these great guys come to me for understanding. I know other pros have experienced this. I’ve talked with some of them. I can tell pros that care. I can also tell which pros aren’t that great if they think this is an attack on them. It’s heartbreaking to hear so many come to me blaming themselves when they did nothing wrong. If you are a pro and think it’s ok to ghost these nice guys, without even an explanation, yea, you’re bad at your job. Period. Learn to care more. Heaven forbid.
I will even message the creepy guys to let them know why I’m cancelling with them. I won’t even ghost them. I’ll say “what you asked for us against the site rules and has made me uncomfortable. I’ll have to cancel the session and I’m reporting this”. They learn their lesson as opposed to you being a lazy pro and thinking “I have my rights”. You certainly do! But..... it’s childish. If you’re going to ditch the session because the guy said something creepy, he should still know. You’re running a business. Be professional...
There was a post on this forum about a pro who who lied about sexual misconduct and photoshopped sexual text messages making it look like it was from him. That's why I believe there needs to be an app so that all communication can go through this site.
@Mike403 I think I remember hearing that! That’s so psychotic! 😤
"First of all if guys sexualize a picture is on them not on the girl, I don’t subscribe to the “she is asking for it” way of thinking, we’re human beings and if we decide to act as animals is on us."
Final defense of myself. I am 100% with you in day-to-day life. It is my opinion that in this line of work, VERY close to sex work and VERY confusing for many people as to what this service actually is (BECAUSE sex work is illegal, people looking for that service are forced to read between the lines in what people are actually offering in order to find the people secretly offering more, because NO ONE wants to get caught who is offering or purchasing that service), that we need to be extra careful in our marketing, and our pictures are our marketing.
Sheena and I disagree on this and that's ok. I respect her as a professional and don't think she is offering anything else other than platonic services. It is because I respect her and don't think anything is awry that I was trying to see what could be causing a bigger issue than I experience. And my opinion and perception has nothing to do with body type. I could have the exact same pictures and see an increase in service confusion.
Frankly, if sex work was decriminalized and legal, we would find these issues near 100% disappearing. The problem is that it's illegal, so no one is able to flat out say "I offer this, come to me." That results in people coming to us thinking it's really what we offer. That is a subject for another post though. I just wanted to clarify that in NO WAY does my opinion in this very specific situation imply IN THE LEAST that I blame women for this issue. It's merely a precaution to increase safety in this very confusing and potentially dangerous profession.
I enjoy my work a lot more when those people just don't even ever message me. It may not bother other people as much (not implying they want it, just that it doesn't effect them as much as me). And that's ok. I just don't like the inference that since I am (and suggest) being careful in marketing to create as close to zero question as possible in regards to the service provided, that implies I blame women for men not listening, or assaulting them (which this conversation was never even talking about!). I could walk around naked, have the worst marketing possible, and should never be blamed for being raped. That's such a far cry from what I was saying.
@ubergigglefritz - I agree it should be legalized. What two consenting adults does is nobody else's business.
@ubergigglefritz "Frankly, if sex work was decriminalized and legal, we would find these issues near 100% disappearing."
I'm actually not at all sure about that. Not that this is something I'm into, but it's not that hard to find actual prostitutes on sites dedicated to that purpose, and the legal danger seems to be minimal. Basically, if I suddenly felt an urgent need just to pay for sex, I really don't think messaging a bunch of women on CuddleComfort who explicitly say "I only offer platonic services" is a particularly easy route.
Instead, from talking to cuddlers who deal with this issue, my feeling is that men are asking cuddlers for sex in many cases specifically because they are not prostitutes. Like, it's one thing to pay for sex with someone who does that on a daily basis, but somehow the turn-on in this case is that you're doing it with someone who does not usually do that.
@SanFranResident - I would think either she does it on a regular basis or not at all. The guy can't be thinking that he's the only one who made non-platonic advances.
@ubergigglefritz I definitely respect your thoughts. You’re right that we won’t see eye to eye on this but that’s totally ok.
@SanFranResident you’re right. I didn’t even think about that. The idea of the slightly more innocent view of it seems more alluring for some I’m sure. But if decriminalizing sex work could help even by 1%, that’s a win.
@Mike403 and you’re definitely all too right about that as well 😫 if she’s doing it to begin with, she’s definitely doing it a lot and I’m sure on plenty of other sites too.
@SanFranResident That's why I said near. There are always exceptions to every rule. ;-) But I would venture to guess that not everyone who wants to pay for sex knows how to find sex workers as efficiently as you claim it to be. It is VERY normal anywhere professional cuddling is mentioned for people to assume it's not just cuddling, so I find it a pretty easy transition for people to be like "ooh" and jump onto a site with professional cuddlers thinking that's what they actually offer. But we are getting off topic again. 😆
I just wish paid cuddling services would be viewed more like therapy instead of prostitution... but society isn't yet on-board with it.
It will take time but the more positive light we can shine on it, the better. Hence why we should be tougher on the pros that treat cuddlers terribly. That’s for sure one thing that will spread negativity about this.
@Sheena123 Agree 100%. =( Poor professionals don't help our case at all, whether that's ghosting or people who really don't care and with whom it's very apparent they are just lying there waiting for it to be over. A lot of people think we're a joke...
Guns are legal ( in most states ) and there’s still a black market for those same as prescription meds and even something as benign as cigarettes have a black market so prostitution would more than likely have one as well even if legalized
Guns = because there are people who can't GET a gun. There is still a steep regulation preventing many people from getting one when they want it. Or even delays could cause someone to want to go another route.
Prescription meds = same thing.
Cigarettes = ? The only thing I can think of is because kids can't buy them? Why would an adult get them anywhere else other than a store? Lol. Maybe in the states where the cigarette tax is HUGE.
All are examples of government causing the problem you are talking about, through regluations and restrictions of access. You are looking at correlation and not causation. Making a victimless action a crime is kind of silly in my book. 🤷 Unless it correlated with similar restrictions and regulations like with the examples you gave, then I would be surprised to still see prostitution being an issue. And if it were legal, and anyone could do it for work if they desired, then how would it be possible to do it as we see prostitution currently? There would be age restrictions, but that goes into an entirely different law already in existence anyway. Beyond that, whatever adults want to do they can, but as it works in that town in NV, it works pretty well legally. Everyone is much safer. Making something otherwise safe illegal innately makes it more dangerous. It's not helping anyone to keep it illegal. I only see good things from legalization. But I'm a libertarian. 😆
@ubergigglefritz - Heck, why don't they just go all the way and make pornography illegal? I think we're going off topic again. I thought this thread was about ghosting?
😹😹😹 I kind of try to make my way back there! Lol
I know 😆 🤐
I think the thread-drift away from the original topic is kinda funny - it's like the topic itself is being ghosted...
😹😹 I hadn’t thought of it like that
How did we get from the topic of ghosting to legalizing prostitutes in the same thread?
@Mike403 because I'm not behaving. =( Lol.
I'd like to sort of reverse an earlier message I posted in this thread. Sheena is absolutely right. No-show pros should 100% be removed from this site. The site is unambiguously worse for being filled with "professionals" who are flaky and can't keep to their schedule, and a pro who no-shows appointments is clearly egregiously in the wrong and should not be here.
I'd rather search in my area and see 3 pros listed but have a high confidence they are easy to book with and will show up, as opposed to the current situation, which is that 30 pros are listed, but many of them are such poor communicators that it's hard to even schedule a session with them, and you never know when someone is going to no-show an appointment.
My concern with this is not so much what Sheena mentions (that it's emotionally hurtful), but just that it's infuriating and wastes my time. If I wanted to deal with flaky women who don't show up I would be dating.
Actually I have a confession to make. It's about the cuddler I've seen the most, by far more than anyone else. I do like her, of course, otherwise I wouldn't see her. But the reason I see her so much more than anyone else isn't that we have some amazing connection or that she has some great way to cuddle or something. It's that she is very reliable. Easy to book and schedule with, always shows up to appointments, etc. You would think that this would be the absolute bare minimum for someone who wants to be a "professional" at anything, but in this field it was pretty hard to find.
(Slight tangent: what about pros who appear to be active on the site, visit it regularly, have been on the site for months, but have no karma and don't respond to polite messages inquiring about a session? I get that pros aren't obligated to respond to any given message, but are these people even doing any sessions at all or what? If they're just cluttering up people's search results and not actually doing any sessions, maybe they could be removed too.)
I'm starting to dislike the term "pro" on this site because it doesn't always mean they are professional. All it means is that they only cuddle in exchange for money.
It definitely puts a sour taste in anyone’s mouth about the validity of pros. I will always strongly believe there are bad and there are good. I just with the bad would actually get dealt with. If you’re going to have the title of pro, earn it and be professional.
@Mike403 being paid for a service doesn't make you a pro of anything, Just means somebody is willing to pay you .
@pmvines Technically that's exactly what makes you a pro; here's the dictionary definition I see:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/professional
"participating for gain or livelihood in an activity or field of endeavor often engaged in by amateurs"
So technically, if you are being paid to cuddle, it's hard to deny that you are 100% a "professional cuddler."
Still, generally being called a professional comes with some implication that you are competent and responsible and care about what you do.
Maybe they're a professional slacker.
@SanFranResident so when I pay the down on his luck meth user on Craig's list to cut my lawn he is a then deemed a professional landscaper? In all seriousness I can see where the term is applied to dilinneate between a pro and non pro but I dunno , I still don't think paying someone money for something makes then a pro of anything
@pmvines I don't know what to tell you; that is literally what the word means. We've put these extra implications on the word, and I use those extra implications too, but the basic fundamental meaning of the word "professional" is "you get paid to do it." If somebody is willing to pay me to pick my nose, I'm a professional nose picker.