Okay, I appreciate everyone's input and I totally see everyone's point of view here, as someone who tries to be on top of her messages, if I cannot, I try to update at the top of my profile if there's any personal issues going on...
What the main issue here is, is ambiguity... Not knowing where you stand with the other person.
if they have communicated or even read your message, and the valid reason of no shows I can appreciate wanting to hold them accountable, however, after years of working for doctors, lawyers, CEOs, property management, etcetera... Is that in any industry, there is going to be the bad seeds... Be at the professional, or the client. You can be a cashier at Target or you can be a private consultant, bad professionals and clients will always be prevalent.
As an independent contractor through the site, I do recognize the need to be professional, though many do not have the educational background that I do to be working with individuals and I can see how the term " pros" can be frustrating when there are flaky people... However, as long as any said professional on this site stays within the basic guidelines and rules that are given to them, their entire business routine, fees, expectations, etc... Is on them.
I like to think that the flaky ones actually help the authentic ones shine, and though that sounds silly out loud, I truly enjoy being the first one-on-one experience for the client, or being the best experience they have in the industry where I believe in connecting with others... That is my main goal.
There is a reason why there are things like a Yelp review that tells you what you can experience.
To help you read out the good business from the bad business, so I don't think a punitive punishment system will do much in the long run as they will clearly make themselves known.
not the most popular opinion I'm sure, I'm just playing devil's advocate here about the realism of the situation.
**And as a side note, any moderator or even the owner will tell you, this is a social media site. So these things are not likely to be implemented due to the nature of the site. **
@MissAdventurous I totally appreciate your input. 😀
What upsets me is that some of these guys have told me that they try to put a karma on their page to warn others but it either gets taken down or the person blocked them so they aren’t able to. This is just for those cuddlers who are really respectful and don’t deserve to be ghosted. I know there are guys out there leaving crappy karma for pros because the pro didn’t break the rules for them or the guy is just mean. But for the respectful ones that were actually ghosted or treated unfairly, a Handful have told me they have tried to leave a karma to explain how unprofessional they are and they can’t. So what then? Somehow, others need to be warned of this unprofessional person but it seems sometimes the pro gets protected. It’s just sad.
@MissAdventurous Yelp and Google reviews are inherently more reliable because the business can't then review the person, which can then affect that person from being able to use other services. The risk / concern about retaliation here is real because there is nothing in the system to prevent it. 🤷♀️
I love all the conversation and additions to this thread this afternoon... 😊
Wow! Ultra timely thread. Was looking forward to my very first encounter this very afternoon -- and the "Pro" was a no show (or is five hours late!). I am totally surprised at how yucky this has made me feel. That voice in my head: "You can't even PAY people to hang out with you." Bad feeling on top of the already bad feeling of being alone in a relatively new city to me unable to meet compadres as we did prior to March 2020. Anyways, happy to see i'm not the only one this has happened to. Not going to give up -- I really love this idea and community and will be booking again with someone new soon.
@MissAdventurous Thanks for your post, I appreciate your perspective.
However, I almost completely disagree.
"Is that in any industry, there is going to be the bad seeds"
Of course this is true to an extent. Not all doctors, lawyers, etc, are great. But the bad seeds in cuddling are really bad, much worse than in other fields. In no other field have I had people steal from me, fail to show up to appointments, ignore booking requests, appear to be unable to communicate well enough to schedule an appointment, show up hours late, etc. That kind of stuff just doesn't happen in other fields, but it's pretty common in cuddling. Something is wrong in the cuddling field.
"I like to think that the flaky ones actually help the authentic ones shine"
I think this is a risky point of view. You're working in a field that is obscure and somewhat stigmatized. I think you should want people to have a great experience and think well of pro cuddlers. Look at @scanner7 's message here. Yes, fortunately he decided to continue giving cuddling a try despite a bad first experience. And thus, he will still be in the cuddling marketplace, and maybe someday a client of yours. But think of how many other clients don't give cuddling another try, how many clients don't continue to cuddle due to bad experiences with flaky, selfish women, and thus they are unavailable as clients to you or other good cuddlers.
Personally I've considered quitting multiple times due to bad experiences. (Actually, I did quit once, for months, but obviously came back.)
@SanFranResident - The first pro I tried was very professional and was like a therapist to me. I became a regular and only booked sessions with her. The risk of seeing the same pro though is getting too attached to her and getting your heart broken if she decides to quit cuddling.
@scanner7 I am sorry you had that experience. 😞 And the thought you shared with us, you aren't alone. I have heard from others that same exact thought from people who have had poor experiences with Cuddlers. 😞 It is really awful and unacceptable...
@SanFranResident I agree. There is absolutely no purpose to professional cuddlers as low as they currently come. 😞 In addition, I have always said that the day I am no longer needed will be the day out world is a better place. I would love it if there were great professionals available to people everywhere. Right now (or at least before COVID and trying to get rolling again now) I circuit through many states in order to reach all my clients. People with no quality local options for the most part. If they had good local options, they could at least have an option for more regular sessions. I can only do so much and our country is way too big. I WISH there were more good professionals around. 😞
I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience @scanner7 ! That would be so discouraging.
I've had all of this happen (except stealing from me) with professional massage therapists, hairdressers, energy healers and other holistic health professionals. I think it's a big problem in the alternative/holistic health field as a whole. That said, it doesn't make the behaviour acceptable or reasonable. It definitely gives the profession a bad reputation and is highly problematic.
@TouchSanctuary I'm not really surprised to hear you had bad experiences with "energy healers", who are basically a scam to begin with, and maybe hairdressers shouldn't surprise me either, but it does surprise me with massage therapists, who are supposed to be trained and certified.
I know certification for massages are probably completely different in Paris, but when I was getting a massage there, it was supposed to be one hour but she only massaged me for 40 minutes and in the middle of that time she went to answer the phone about 3 times! The whole experience was so unprofessional 😫
@Sheena123 this describes my weekend perfectly! I realize that the individual I booked had told me that she is a dog sitter and that she is also a promo model. That should have been a warning sign right there for me but no, I went ahead and pursued. The session was booked on 8/14 on the site per site requirements. Then communication was taken offline since the session was for Friday 8/21. Friday rolls around and the "pro" texts me that she is going to need to reschedule with no reason given. I reluctantly say okay fine. We pushed it to yesterday at 6 pm after I had cancelled the appointment on the site. She texts again saying that she has a dog sitting client that is running late picking up their dogs and that she doesn't know how late they will be. No communication till I text her saying that I was waiting at my office for a few hours for her. Then this morning rolls around and she acts all sweet saying, "I just saw your text babe. Would you like to meet up tonight? Even if it's at a pub. That was at 11:05 am and she's ghosted me since. It's unfortunate that @Mark can't pause her account because she obviously doesn't care. In my occupation as a photographer, if she did that on a shoot, she'd be out as a model so fast her head would spin. No 2nd or 3rd chances given at all period. Also, how many of you call your clients "babe" or "honey?" That's extremely inappropriate. She even started one of her texts on Friday with a simple "hey babe"
@scanner7 hang in there buddy! It must be a Nevada thing since the one that ghosted me is from Las Vegas
@CrossFitNLattes that definitely sounds sketchy 😕 I strongly believe if you’re going to call yourself a professional and get paid doing this, you should treat it like the job that it is. If you are too busy doing other things, and having to reschedule constantly especially with the same person multiple times, maybe this isn’t for you? I just honestly wish that more pros got the same slap on the wrist when clients act up. I hate this negative light on a job that I absolutely love. I don’t want to start threads ripping pros apart but if they are going to give caring pros a bad name, I have to say something! 😫
I travel to Vegas for work, as the law firm I work at is located there. It definitely is bad like that in Vegas. Many of my Vegas friend/clients have said the same. They're always so relieved when I come to town 🤣
@CrossFitNLattes I absolutely do not call my clients "babe." Not only unprofessional, but it gives the "other services" vibe, in my opinion. I don't like being called that or things like "sweetheart" either. I know there are some people who do call random people that of any service, but not me, no, lol. I didn't grow up with that at all and it feels very disrespectful. Professionals should definitely not be calling clients those things either. 😝 Ew.
@ubergigglefritz - I've been called "honey" by a waitress at a night club. I didnt think anything of it. I agree that calling somebody that here might give a client the wrong idea.
@MissAdventurous I had been pretty lucky with the first two that I met off of this site. Both were wonderful cuddlers. I’m actually seeing one of them a 2nd time mid week. There are just at least one bad apple in every bunch and that’s the case here. Since you travel here, I can send you her profile in DM if you want. Maybe other people have told you about her
@Mike403 it's definitely cultural. I don't do it or like it. 😆 Lol.
@ubergigglefritz - I guess it's understandable when a waitress does it. Guys tip more when he thinks she might be interested in him.
If anyone wants to see her profile, feel free to DM me. Her main photo is borderline risque for this job and yes her profile contains tons of hearts. I want to also mention that I was wrongfully banned for using a word that starts with f and ends with h that is not permitted
@ubergigglefritz definitely cultural and also geographical. A lot of women in south use the term “ sugar “ when they talk to you sometimes. It’s not meant in a sexual or flirtatious way just a term of endearment I guess. @Mike403 I’ve heard everything from waitresses to grocery clerks address people as honey, babe , sugar, and what not. Maybe some are sucking up for tips others just part of their vocabulary. I’ve never read too much into it or been offended by it any way.
Thanks to my momma, I always say hun. To any and everybody. It’s as prevalent in my vocabulary as the Canadian word Eh. Lol
Yeah, I don't think a pro using one of those words is worthy of being reported. Some people may say it out of habit. I've said things in the past that somebody took differently than what I actually meant. Everyone's brain is wired differently.
@Mike403 I didn't report her for calling me "babe." It was more a "no-show" report due to the fact that as @Sheena123 pointed out, she doesn't much care about her job. I am thinking she is going to wait and see if I chase her some more. Sorry to say that once you've lead me on more than once, you're a goner in my book.
@CrossFitNLattes - If a woman stands you up or cancels last minute unless she has a really good reason, cut her off and block her. Don't keep chasing her. That's just disrespecting yourself. You deserve somebody better than that.
Preach!
Scarlett Johansson keeps standing me up but I keep giving her chances
If she texts you to cancel an hour or two before you were supposed to meet, never text back saying "Oh it's okay. Not a big deal" because you know that's a lie. It is a big deal because she disrespected your time. You likely moved things around in your schedule to make time to hang out with her. Sorry, I'm just tired of women treating guys like they don't matter.
@Mike403 she's been forgotten already.