Original comment edited and removed. No need to repeat it here. Thx. [-Sid]
Yeah, that doesn't sound platonic to me at all.
@DarkLordChungus
@Sideon: I can keep the bit of the quote where he talks about her female shape, right? Since that wasn't edited out.
It's all kinds of problematic, but I'm leaving it alone until I look at things after sleep and coffee. Tomorrow morning. [-Sid]
Edit: Fair. Rest well, Sid. You need it to deal with all this!
'Tis done. Thanks for the reminder/catch. [-Sid]
I am a golden cuddle god! Jumps off roof
@Tazman5307
Oh boy! Some of you got me completely and were so understanding. I even received kudos for expressing the points of views. Others completely missed my writing to a point they wanted to barf at least.
It's amazing. I do welcome constructive criticism. We are not all the same thank God. Life would be so boring if we were the same. Growth would be ZERO.
My best friend in heaven and I got talked about why people feel safer with certain types of people and others will take the next train to Congo. It's how we develop a life template from very young. It changes and its format defines who we are, etc.
We feel safe in familiar settings, external stimuli gratification. This is why we chose the people in our life. Friends, Coworkers, Therapists, Doctors..etc, and yes cuddlers I believe.
For instance, like I said before, the 1st reaction to picking someone is based on how safe we are with them. It's subconscious. I dislike certain things about ppl because of what it did to me in the past. It's looks, behaviors, etc. So we form this idealist view upon things based on that template.
My 1st thing in about selecting a professional therapist, is that I have to feel safe and like the person. If someone is going to touch me for therapy we react based on those templates. If they fulfill those needs, then it's a great fit. Their template matches yours. It has nothing to do with age, race, creed. You like them bc they way of being (or whatever) makes u feel good. It can be a certain perfume, how they dress, body type, etc.
I'm my template I have certain traits which makes me feel safe and good about whom I am going to interact. It's not better or worse than yours. Certainly I would never judge anyone on what makes them feel safe.
It's understanding how we are and how we select people to be in our life, either a brief moment or a lifetime.
Hope this helps the folks to understand my view point. If not, well...can't make everyone like me I guess!
What an assemblage of words. It almost seems as if you're trying to obfuscate some blatantly romantic/sexual matters.
I don't think I missed anything, actually.
Well, good luck to you, dude.
@Tazman5307 Please continue your writing and I will finish your oeuvre after you have been banned. I will portray you as dismayed and oblivious to your banishment and portray your admirers in the same light.
This was a roller coaster of emotions start to finish, y'all okay?! XD
A single gay guy here, I cant get anyone to cuddle. I would cuddle any age; but like dating or sex, when some young people open their mouth, all creature comfort is out the window. Maybe best to just nap with younger guys. That is, if there were anyone at all to get a cuddle on with. * This site has not served me well so far.
@darklord and @FunCartel
Well, I agree to disagree. Why I wrote all that? Just explain some viewpoints abd re arrange the thoughts to help those who are in dismay of these viewpoints. Well...once a rock, always a rock I guess.
Ttfn!
@Tazman5307 You do realize your sexualized imagery can get you banned right? Seems to me that you are choosing to ignore specific components of the site T and Cs.
I see it what you're all saying. @Tazman5307 is taking some poetic license, and @DarrenWalker and @DarkLordChungus are bringing us back down to earth. Viva la difference! Whether you get to snuggle with your goddess projection or a warm-enough human, it's good isn't it? I wouldn't mind someone thinking I was a goddess, as long as they didn't drool on me or try to grab my parts.
@littermate: Um. Did you get to see his original, unedited comments? He described a woman in blatantly sexual terms, then said that was what he was looking for in a cuddle buddy. It was poetic-sounding, sure... but it definitely wasn't okay for this site.
@FunCartel
I understood that reference. Great movie.
@BrianL Yes it is. Wouldn’t it be neat if we could get the unvarnished truth in the forums like they did in the plunging plane scene?
@DarrenWalker No, I didn't. That wasn't the poetry to which I referred. Thanks for bringing me up to speed!
@littermate: Sure thing! 👍🏻 I guessed you hadn't seen it, based on your response.
@DarrenWalker I guess you know me (at least my posting self) pretty well!
So this is kind of off topic but also on topic. Today a client made a comment about how I gained weight as soon as the session began. The irony in this is I had just had a session with my trainer and had worked out to the point of exhaustion. I felt so defeated and powerless. I am so sick and tired of the emphasis of looks when it comes to my profession. No talk therapist or massage therapist has to endure this kind of scrutiny. I understand wanting to cuddle someone who is pleasant looking, but we should not be held to the same rigid standards that models and actors are held to. If I wanted to be insecure and obsess over my appearance I would have joined the entertainment or modeling industry. I did not sign up to have a job where I have to worry about turning 30 or gaining a few pounds. 😩
@xandriarain it’s natural for cuddlers to experience weight gain .. Probably worse for pro cuddlers , it’s a very sedentary activity , add to that the chocolate that everybody likes , I’m reading a few threads on how the pro looked 40 pounds heavier then their photo , etc . Cuddling may be spiritually healthy but not physically healthy.
@xandriarain How rude and uncalled for! It's just unbelievable. He's lucky he was paying for the session, I think any enthusiast would have gotten up and left. Will you see him again?
@xandriarain I am sorry that happened to you. It not only was rude and inappropriate, it was actually mean.
I hope you do not accept cuddle requests from them again.
Cuddling, tge concept and reality should be relaxing, calming and kind. For both cuddles, even if one is paid.
Any other profession, hairstylist, massage therapist or other personal service workers must be respected.
If this had been an enthusiast relationship, rather than professional, it would not be tolerated, and should not be tolerated by you.
@xandriarain
I’m so sorry for that. Making any significant changes to your daily routine is difficult, and you’re on the right track! Im not even working out so you’re doing better than me. Just gotta keep it up!
Your progress is between you and your trainer, it’s not for anyone else to critique.
If this cuddler makes you feel this way, hopefully you discontinue sessions with said individual (unless they acknowledge what happened and you’re able to forgive them, but that’s up to you).
Write it into your guidelines that they sign. "No comments about physical appearance. If there is a hygiene problem, then it is ok." Plug it into the section where you talk about appropriate behaviour.
I know. I know. It should be obvious. But, so is inappropriate touch.
I've cuddled with women 20 years younger and 15 years older and had a good experience with both age groups. Makes no difference.
@xandriarain It's one thing if he was making an a innocuous observation, you know, the equivalent of, gosh your hair is longer. Guys can be dumb like that, not getting what a painful area it can be for many women. But if he was in any way communicating displeasure with some extra pounds then I'd lose him instead of the weight. Much easier.
@littermate I would disagree that "being dumb" makes it okay - women don't tend to make off-handed comments like "Hey, your dick looks smaller today" just before having sex with someone, and then wonder "durr, why he upset, it was just an observation". We're expected to have tact about these things without even being explicitly taught how. If a guy's being dumb, he can get smart or lose connections. I'm tired of excusing this stuff.
@squeakytoy I agree with your sentiment. He said he didn't mean it in an insulting way and was just making an observation because he felt "so comfortable and open with me". I recall now in one of our past sessions he called me "chubby". I was very insulted and he told me that in his culture "chubby" was a compliment so I proceeded to explain that in western culture "chubby" is an insult, so the fact that he made another comment about my weight makes me not want to see him again. I am particularly vulnerable right now because I gained 40 pounds since the pandemic started in March and my mental health suffered greatly. In the last couple of months, I have taken steps to turn things around by getting an office to host clients and by working with a personal trainer three times a week. For a while, I was on an upswing and feeling much happier and more hopeful. Then these last couple of weeks I have seen my business slow down again and have noticed that I am not seeing any physical improvements after three weeks of working out. When that client said I looked like I had put on weight despite all my efforts to get back in shape I felt defeated and doomed to be stuck in this body with extra fat and like my business would suffer because I lacked control over my weight. Being ignorant is not an excuse to say hurtful or "off-handed" comments, especially not in a society that bases a woman's value on her appearance. His one off-handed comment led to me staying up all night, having a downward spiral of negative thoughts, and crying myself to sleep.
@xandrian @littermate @squeakytoy unfortunately this just reinforces the sexualization stereotype of cuddling when a client is focusing on your body and looks to the point of it being one of the first things he comments on . As a pro I can imagine one would want to feel.like they are being hired for their cuddling service and personality, not for their body