This topic pops up from time to time, someone attempting to discuss the hourly rates Pros of the site decide they charge, but it instead turns to complaints, venting, accusations, and bashing. To wrap up this thread, both Client and Pro alike, here is what you can expect:
1. Clients will hire Pros based off what they can afford. If you can't afford someone you want to see, save up for who you want or find someone else within your budget; this can be a different Pro or another Enthusiast. 2. Pros will set their price based off a wide array things ranging from picking something around the average other Pros in their area charge, what they feel their time is worth, what it costs to keep bills paid, or what it costs to have extra fun spending money. There can be an almost endless list as to what goes into deciding their chosen price, but I wanted to list a few.
If enough Clients think Pro hourly rates are too high and aren't hiring them, then Pros aren't making money and it's their independent business to then either market themselves better, lower prices, or offer specials, but that is their choice on what to do. Mind you, I've seen Pros get over 160 messages within a month from different people on setting up sessions and some new Pros will get 50-70 unique messages within a day or 2. So if you think a Pros hourly rates are unfair, go on strike about the prices if you feel like it, but you may be waiting a very long time for anything to change as many others not active in the forums are still going to hire them at their current price point.
I thinkwe all have our circumstances and reasons for reaching out to a professional - to a professional, why should one’s circumstances matter more than another’s? Although I guess I’d draw the line somewhere. I feel like if I were a professional I would give concessions if say, a client’s loved one passed.
What do you mean you would give when you say "concessions"? A free hour? A free month? Free popcorn? Would you if you were a counselor or any other pro who trades time for rent/grocery money?
Good question. I’m not a pro so I haven’t thought about this that much, so I’m not totally sure. I would try to offer more flexible hours, outside of my normal time in such events. If they couldn’t pay but needed a session I’d put on a payment plan or something. If they still kept their job they’d have to pay the full amount but if they couldN’t keep the job maybe a one time discount. I hear you though, concessions are dangerous for a pro or anyone who works to feed themselves. If I were a pro counselor or pro plumber I would apply the same principles.
@sunnysideup I have twice given "free" sessions to individuals in rough circumstances (grief, chronic pain) who asked to see me now and pay later. Both were good clients whom I’d seen before. Both stiffed me—ghosted and never paid.
It’s a crappy feeling when this sort of thing happens. As a human, it’s hard not to feel hurt when you try to be generous and are met with deception or indifference, particularly in a circumstance as intimate as cuddling. These clients were good people whom I imagine ghosted out of guilt or shame at their inability or unwillingness to pay me after their session. Now it's a broken relationship with bad feelings on both sides.
That said, it’s a good lesson about professional boundaries. As a business owner, if you don’t value your time, others won’t either.
Blurring the line too much can be confusing and potentially harmful for both parties.
@sunnysideup One of my membership plans is essentially a payment plan, but that is to save up in advance of the session, not to pay afterwards. Unfortunately, @BellaSera is correct and it's really risky to offer post-session payment plans.
I have one client with whom I agreed years ago to have pay the day after (because he just wanted to let a session flow and then pay whatever the balance ended up being after we knew what it was). We have done this many times with no issue. Until the last session when he seemed to have known in advance that he would not have the ability to do so. We ended with a $600 balance. Aside from the $50 deposit I require, he has paid $50 twice in the past four months. It's both sad (I really enjoyed my time with this client and appreciated our professional relationship) and frustrated (I feel disrespected, though I associate no malicious intent; I trusted him for so long and he decided without discussion with me to change our agreement).
As she also stated, it's not only risky financially, but risky for your professional relationship. Both people (the professional themselves as well as the client) must respect the professional for their time and value provided, and their professional role in the relationship. Otherwise it's just not going to end well. 😔 I have very strict filtering guidelines which require all my clients to meet these requirements. If not, I don't see the person. I offer a lot - authenticity, vulnerability, compassion, etc. All I require from my clients is respect.
Personally, the biggest emotional drain in doing this work is filtering out all the inquiries looking for something different and dealing with any disrespect both from potential or existing clients and just other adults in the world who don't understand (or respect) this work. Years ago I was a member of a business owners support group. We passed out our business cards and told everyone about our business at the start of every meeting. One meeting, after we all dispersed, I saw someone had left mine on the table, taking all the rest with them. It hurts and it's exhausting sometimes, whether something like that or someone telling me I shouldn't be charging what I do, they should get a discount, trying to bend the rules, etc etc. I love my clients and I love this work so much, but yeah, it's tiring sometimes. All I want is respect. 😇
@BellaSera @ubergigglefritz
I’m sorry, you kind souls. Valuable lessons learned though. I can try to learn from it as well.
Perhaps then, I’d be burned a few times, then change policy. Or just change it to a one time upfront discount so there isn’t any debt and an understanding that relationship is still prifessional. I remember kind strangers offering to pay my bar tab when my account got fradulently drained. To some this may open up price haggling down the line, but if someone has fallen on that hard of a time I would probably still make the concession.
Question mostly for clients. What is your price range? Just wondering what people can afford these days in terms of pro cuddling.
This is a Groundhogs Day subject and is being merged with the pro pricing mega thread. - Babichev
Just taking my spot before this thread gets derailed. Good luck! 🤗
If I were to book a pro these days, it'd be $40 max.
@Hellena I'll be honest and say I really don't know. Until recently, I had $100/hr as my upper limit, but one of my most recent cuddles was with someone who charges $150. I felt like it was worthwhile.
I think that I've discovered that if something is important to me, I'll save up to the point where I can afford it, even if that means waiting for a while.
I know that many enthusiasts agree (and some disagree) that a pro has the right to charge whatever they want.
As a professional math tutor, I've been tempted to undersell the competition, but I've learned that my clients value my high quality services more if they have to pay more.
It took some trial and error on my part to find the best price point, but it was worth the effort.
Don't be shy about what you choose in the end. You are the only YOU on the planet, and that is something that is highly valuable.
Let me preface by saying, anyone can charge whatever they want! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I go for rates that are under $100/hr, personally. If I were wealthier I’d pay more. Can’t really put a price on a good cuddle. To be able to even afford a cuddle is a privilege.
I was excited to find this site specifically because it connects non-professionals who like to cuddle. I see it as a way to make friends who I may eventually want to share intimate snuggles with. Hope that makes sense, though I know it's not what you were hoping for. Hugs!
~ Sunset Snuggles
@sunnysideup Echoing my thoughts. (Borrowing...) Let me preface by saying, anyone can charge whatever they want! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I go for rates up-to $100/hr, for a seasoned, kind, and intelligent cuddler. Being able to afford cuddling is a privilege. But it's also a health-decision for me. It's been life affirming.
This is a Groundhogs Day subject and is being merged with the pro pricing mega thread.
It's a skill that everyone possesses I want a logical explanation of why some people are charging $100 to $150 an hour for a non educated non skilled thing please explain
@timmytree
1) The free market.
2) It's not a skill everyone possesses. On the contrary, it's a skill almost nobody possesses. It's very common for people to set up as professional cuddlers and quit very quickly as they realise it's much too hard a job for them. It's much too hard a job for most people. Too hard for me, anyway.
A significant minority of cuddle professional clients' are people with a history of trauma. Many of them have complicated diffficulties around touch. What would you say to a client who started a session by saying "The last time I touched another person was eight years ago, when I was raped."
Cuddling somebody you care about who cares about you when both of you like cuddling and neither of you has touch issues is one thing. Cuddling a stranger you've never met who definitely has problems in their life is quite another.
Cuddling is an emotional activity, not a physical one. The physical part is an important part of it in most cases, but it's not the essense of the thing.
@CuddleDuncan Thank you for that post. I have never questioned the rates pros charge but that is mainly because of the first point you raised about the free market.
I knew there was a huge emotional component to cuddling and it is obvious from reading the forums that there are a lot of people on this site dealing with emotional pain of one sort or another (myself included). I had not thought of the situation you described above but I Can easily see that happening.
If you weren’t coming off so condescending and rude about it, I would happily answer but you obviously aren’t respecting the profession. And you seem to be confused yourself when you say “it’s a skill everyone has” and then “it’s a non skilled thing”. Btw: you can take schooling and courses for cuddling…
Reported, reviewed and removed. Please address forum discussion topics respectfully and without profanity. SuperManCuddles
There’s that winning attitude we all love 🙄
@CuddleDuncan 👏👏👏 spot on. I have heard endless stories of professionals actually harming clients because of their lack of knowledge and skill for the work, or sometimes even care for their clients. It's very frustrating and sad to hear about. This is not a place for people here just trying to milk people for all their worth for one example. It makes me sick when I see it happening. Similar to taking bottled water to a disaster location and offering it at inflated prices.
@timmytree the bigger issue is that there is no way to measure the skill without experiencing them directly. Because as @CuddleDuncan pointed out, it's an emotional skill. It's actually similar to a therapist. There are a plethora of therapists who have the knowledge and behavioral skills, but they're cold or lack sufficient compassion to be a stellar therapist for someone. Someone seeking therapy would have a hard time identifying it surely before actually having a session. Rates have no correlation to give any tips here either. There are awful cuddlers >$100/hr, and amazing cuddlers >$100/hr. There are also awful cuddlers <$100/hr, and amazing cuddlers <$100/hr (👏😇😆). But make no mistake there IS a huge variation between good and bad cuddlers and it absolutely takes skill.
This might generate some discussion and controversy, but things which have been on my mind.
1)We live in a capitalist society and capitalism colors all of our experiences. One of the premises of capitalism is that for something to have value, another thing must have less value.
How does this apply to cuddling? Well, as a human being in a capitalist system, you are assigned value. For men, the value is based on their physical attraction, access to resources(money) and their social skills and network.
If you score low on these value indicators, you will have a difficult time securing intimacy, even platonic intimacy.
If you have been assigned a value by the system and that value is low, you have to pay for someone to cuddle you.
2)How much will you have to pay? Well that depends on supply and demand. A professional cuddler can charge anything they want, but if they aren't getting customers they will have to lower this price. In general, the more competition they have from other professionals in the area and the less clients that are available, the lower their price will have to be to attract clients.
The prices will naturally arrive at a range based on competition and demand. So if you think the price is too high, too bad, thats just the way it is.
3)As for professional cuddlers, if money becomes the motivation, then cuddling becomes a job and an obligation more than an enjoyable activity. If that happens, then I think you begin to miss out on the special connection that comes from two humans sharing platonic intimacy without any monetary exchange.
It just hits different when it's two people doing it as a non transactional thing. There is something special about sharing energy with someone, where both parties are motivated by nothing other than wanting to share time and space with another human being.
I personally don't think this special connection can be created when one person is paying, but I might be wrong.
(I understand that some will strike a balance, where this stays strictly a job and they get their mutual and non monetary intimacy elsewhere. Or that some will only cuddle selectively and once in a while, so it doesn't start to feel like a job.)
I don't know if all of this is good or bad, but that is how it is.
These are all truths. They're not fun truths, but I think one has to accept reality and be able to talk about it.
Stating that those are all truths, does not make them so.
If a person has a (single) value, then somebody must have assigned that value. If you and I were to meet that person, one of us might assign a very high value, while the other may assign a very low value. What is that person's "true" value? Does it even make sense to think about a person's "true" value?
It appears to me, that a professional cuddler (or lawyer, or doctor, or plumber) is perfectly free to assign a value to their time. They may assign whatever value they desire. However, there is a distinct difference between the value of a person's time, and the value of the person. In fact, the two have virtually no relationship whatsoever.
To paraphrase Winston Churchill, Capitalism is the worst economic system except for all of the others that have been tried.
Cuddling with a [experienced] professional and a fellow enthusiast are indeed two different things. It's not that one is better than the other, they are just different. There can be a special connection between a professional and a client, but it's a different kind of connection.
It is also true that if the professional's heart is not in it, you can tell. A long time ago I once asked a professional if I could spoon her. She agreed, but we stopped after about two minutes because I felt that she hated it. She didn't do anything to indicate it, I just got that sense. Anyway, I now know her much better and when spooning came up in conversation recently I reminded her of that incident. She didn't remember it particularly, but did admit that she really didn't like being the little spoon
I live in a capitalist society but that doesn’t mean it controls or dictates everything in my life. I see people as deserving equal rights. People are not a commodity to me.
It’s pretty disgusting and even a bit absurd for you to say that an economic system has decided a human being’s value. I have a friend whom I love and value highly who is unable to work because of several disabilities. @MCcuddles2, your made up “truths” haven’t assigned her a lower value to me nor has the economic system that allows me to help her out.
You are free to feel disgusted. There is a difference between systematic truths and actions of individuals.
That's like saying, "racism doesn't exist as a system, I have a black friend."
@MCcuddles2 you’re being troll-ish. And silly.
I'm definitely not trolling or attacking anyone. You are free to your opinions, and I am free to mine.