Making CC more inviting for female enthusiasts

Over the past year, I have noted a number of posts that complain about the ratio of men enthusiasts compared to the number of female enthusiasts. The statistics I recall were 18 to 1 or somewhere close. I truly believe there are many women that are open to platonic cuddling in the right environment. When the statistics stat drifting in a disparate direction, I wonder if it is not the environment itself that is contributing to the problem. Fortunately for the world, I am not a woman consequently therefore am no expert when commenting on female issues. But as men, if we could find a way to favorably to improve interactions--maybe the ratios would start improving. One thing that I believe is vastly unappreciated is the sure strength it takes for a woman to open themselves to the environment. They have to worry about safety, perceptions, uninvited boundary pushes even when the rules are known and clearly been identified, labeling, as well as a whole host of other issues. Men may have some of these concerns but to a much lesser extent. I imagine new female members are bombarded with requests-for sessions --perhaps giving them a little space to breathe would be helpful---especially before judging them. Instead of complaining about the problems--perhaps we should take a look at our own actions to see if we could do something about ourselves differently. Good behavior certainly would make the environment more inviting (please note--this is a general statement--no one is being called out).

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @dennis22554 This is really no different than dating sites, where men vastly outnumber women as a rule (there are sites where men have to pay to join and women do not, precisely because of this disparity). And just like there, any new woman who joins gets bombarded by hundreds of messages right away. As one of my friends once said, they are treated like a loose football, everyone dives at once. And while each and every person on the forums could change their behavior, if necessary, tomorrow, the forums make up 0.5 percent of the membership of this site.

  • Understood..it just seems to be a frequent topic..so thought at least small changes could help as opposed to solely complaining

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    And, the simple truth is that a higher percentage of women have easy access to trusted physical affection than men do.

    It is simple supply and demand as to why the male enthusiast to female enthusiast is probably a 12 to 1 ratio, or worse.

  • And also the site does help regulate that I have seen messages pop up that say that that new member is receiving too many emails and to try again another time.

    It’s just the way it is.

  • Not really a matter of them showing up. It's a matter of them staying. All hail the creepy weirdo committee

  • Maybe they are not staying because the way they are treated

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    My guess is that for someone new to this it only takes one blatantly sexual message to put them off this place.

  • I heard dry humping is not in the top 10 of their cuddling desires from what I under stand

  • edited December 2024

    Hi! I’m the first woman to chime in.

    Women tend to have better social skills, we also tend to have less income. We are resourceful, and most of us can find people or would rather be alone than pay. At least for me - that’s why I don’t cuddle as an enthusiast here, no need to pay for connection because I’m able to articulate and express my needs to close friends who I’ve built relationships with. There’s also SO many married men on here looking for things outside their relationship, probably with women who also want connection.

  • It sounds like having an off-by-default toggle to receive messages from people you haven't messaged first would help.

  • That's a good idea..but my point was not to discourage conversation ..just take action to improve...if people just complain about a problem without taking any action to m a ke it better...nothing will improve

  • @FM..thankyou for being the first

  • It's a solution to the main problem that makes it easier for them to stay longer. The problem, as I see it defined here, is:

    1. New women joins.
    2. Dozens of men immediately notice the new female enthusiast and message her. Many of the messages are creepy or lewd.
    3. Woman gets overwhelmed and disgusted, and leaves.
  • Exactly my point. Creepy weirdo committee

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    I heard dry humping is not in the top 10 of their cuddling desires from what I under stand

    @Dennis73218 thank you for bringing this to our attention

  • @lonely...absolutely my pleasure

  • @dennis22554 maybe it’s because you’re from hood bridge…. 😝

  • It deserves its reputation

  • I'm just glad there's no subways

  • edited December 2024

    I believe a good first start would be that no one addresses women via pet names in private messages. Also not having the first message involve asking a fellow enthusiast if they would like to set up a session. Pros/Clients have sessions (via the booking panel), not enthusiast/enthusiast (as there is no booking panel).

  • The pet names kill me. Or just any comments on physical appearance in general that aren't advice-related.

    There's nothing that screams "I didn't read a single word on your profile" more than some message like "You're so beautiful".

  • It really is exhausting to wade through the garbage.

    Then there's my social anxiety 🙃

  • @Sashamcgee
    You mean to tell me the creepy weirdo brigade doesn't help to ease your anxiety ?

  • I don't like getting pet names either, it's weird. So yes men shouldn't use pet names for people they don't know.

    I think another way to make the site more welcoming is to not accept behaviors that might make another lady uncomfortable. Whether pet names, dry humping, ask to wear clothes different than TOS. It sounds like and i suspect some of the bad behavior is either tolerated or accepted by some and that leads some to believe it's common place or acceptable.

    I know that many guys get reported for these behaviors and get banned but is also clear that some get away with them and carry them to the next, likely new enthusiast, or pro. Let's be honest most ladies will never and don't intend on ever cuddling for free. I think that causes an issue across the board. I've heard from some brand new pros that have some sort of violation occur and now for them it's the norm because they've never experienced anything else. I tend to believe some believe because they are getting paid they have to accept a little bit. (I could be wrong) correction is key, say something weird you'll probably do something weird. Somethings should never be normal.

    I know reports happen but i don't think it often enough. Because some people feel completely free to be inappropriate. I know I'm personally terrified that i may make a lady feel uncomfortable so i do my best to be accommodating a considerate. If my intentions or words ever get misconstrued im done, somethings can't be fixed by me.

  • @NikkiFM

    Women tend to have better social skills, we also tend to have less income. We are resourceful, and most of us can find people or would rather be alone than pay. At least for me - that’s why I don’t cuddle as an enthusiast here, no need to pay for connection

    Definitely agree that many of us women are resourceful in finding friends and people to cuddle and connect with normally without having to hire a pro.

    If any enthusiast can find another enthusiast to cuddle, neither have to pay but with men out numbering women, women have the best chance of finding another enthusiast. 🥺🫂

  • I believe that a lot of the women on this site also would rather be pros as opposed to enthusiasts because there is such a larger number of men who want the companionship

  • It’s a numbers game. Nothing will change it.

  • edited December 2024

    I think the discussion that's being missed is how do we make it more inviting for enthusiasts. Not how we convince them not to go pro. Because from what it looks like enthusiasts run away from the site. Even som potential pros are run away by what they are confronted with when they join.

    We just had a discussion on how the forum conversations may turn people away from the forums and the site, and i think that what everyone who come in here with rose colored glasses on see is not inviting in a lot of cases.

    Sure we know why women become pros and why they charge, there is nothing we can do to change that ir should we, but how do we change the environment to keep women in here that come.

    We have got to admit this place is nit always welcoming to anyone. We overwhelm new ladies, we ridicule new men we expect them to know the rules right away knowing it's not as clear coming in. We leave unsuspecting enthusiasts and pros to be introduced to men that are expecting something other than what is promised by the site. We also somehow make men feel they pay for what they want and they've come to expect it. >This us an issue with the customer/client mindset because the customer is always right, that is why I've never liked any conversation around that because it disregards people to encourage commerce<

    These may not be policy issues but they are practice issues. How do we change what we practice to be what we preach? I think that's the discussion @dennis22554 was trying to have. Let's not change the subject to the horse we've already beaten to death. Let's be introspective because it's an introspective question.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesGrove (deleted user)

    Um… disregarding people to encourage commerce is kind of capitalism’s THING, you know?

    But enough of pointing out the fatal flaw of capitalism…

    I’m always amused by the “ethical convulsions” that people here go through.

    “I want a specific style of music, played with only certain instruments. But everyone who can play that music and those instruments realizes quickly that they can charge money. How can we pretend that it is somehow a systemic problem to want to be paid for your desired talent, skills, and experience?!?”

  • @CharlesGrove 100% and a great analogy. (Hopefully I understand your point)
    I always earned a living as an artist. Something I loved but I needed to pay for a home, food, etc just like everyone else.
    If men could earn a living cuddling, wouldn’t they?

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