Why is the site unmonitored - reported cuddler and nothing happened!

cobrapause44cobrapause44
in General

Not so much as an auto gen email to say we received your compliant, we’re looking into.

I see a lot of “protect the cuddler” posts on here but what about the client? Why are cuddlers screening for physical appearance if this is plutonic.

I’ve never made a request for a massage and been asked to submit a picture and then asked why my current photo doesn’t look like a years old profile photo.

If the sites not monitored and the clients aren’t protected what would stop a cuddler from robbing a client? Again we talk about boundaries and safety in one direction here, as if the client is just assumed to be the bad guy.

Comments

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    Men pushing boundaries and sexually assaulting cuddlers is a lot more common than cuddlers robbing clients. But if you've been robbed, you should definitely have reported it.

  • IronicMaidenIronicMaiden

    Also, plutonic would mean related to death. The word you're looking for is platonic.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @cobrapause44

    This is the second thread you've posted on accusing cuddle pros of screening for appearance and being mad that mods don't do anything when you report them for it. If you are not having success with cuddle.pros in your area, the problem is likely nothing to do with appearance.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited June 2025

    @cobrapause44 when did you submit the report? Can you message me (don’t post here please) the username of the person you reported?

    Yes, cuddlers do have preferences in who they cuddle and so screening for appearance is common and expected. It all about what causes oxytocin release for someone. Speaking for myself, I certainly can read someone’s energy from their photos, so photos are important for me when deciding on a cuddle partner.

    If it’s a pro, lot of pros require a recent photo of potential clients for their own safety. As far as pros themselves go, they have to submit an application and a photo and go through an approval process, so the site does know who they are.

    First thing to make sure everyone stays safe is to keep all messaging on site, and if it’s a pro, book any sessions through the site. It’s not a perfect system, but it is certainly goes a long way toward ensuring safety.

  • SpaceMuseSpaceMuse

    I’m going to agree with @IronLemon @pmvines
    I looked and you have nothing on your profile, no friends, and no karma. Considering you’ve been on the site a while(agreement date), that would be a a huge red flag for me, and I’d also ask for more pictures to make sure the person is real. If the pictures sent don’t really match the one you have, I wouldn’t book with you either for that reason alone.
    I recommend making your profile more personal. I’m guessing it’s less about “physical attractiveness” and more not feeling comfortable with you as a person. Maybe reflect on the vibe you’re giving off- are you giving vibes of pushing for more than platonic? Are you showing genuine interest in the cuddler by asking questions or just shooting a message saying “I wanna cuddle with you”. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but it can definitely be something to reflect on.

  • AdentoAdento
    edited June 2025

    Hold on here, give it a moment - the moderators are volunteers so it makes sense that there’s no automated message.

    Cuddlers aren’t employed by the site so they don’t have an obligation to service anyone. Having a recent picture or video chat is often a safety measure. They don’t want to get robbed or assaulted either so it’s good to know exactly who they are going to see in person.

    The dynamics at play here mean the cuddler is at a disadvantage. There are more threads about it because it’s more likely to happen to them.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    A professional robbing a client is a matter for the police, not the Admins. It has happened but it's very rare.

    In my experience Reports are usually dealt with within 24 hours and sometimes within minutes. However the Report has to be investigated and complex ones can take days. A high proportion of Reports are false and/or malicious, and another high proportion are frivolous or not within the site's remit. The Mods can only take action if the reportee has actually broken the terms of service, and there is evidence to prove that they have broken the terms of service.

    The Moderators are members of the community who volunteer. Much of the work is behind the scenes and it's a very tough job. The site as a whole is very small - there are only two Admins I think - and it's unrealistic to expect a super quick response to anything.

    Professionals screening for physical appearance is very rare. A considerable proportion of professionals don't even look at profiles. A photo is a basic safety requirement, and is nothing to do with looks. I'm a pretty experienced cuddler and a man and even I insist on a photo.

    Many of the common problems encountered when attempting to book a professional cuddler can be avoided by careful choice. You may find these threads helpful:

  • [Deleted User]mulftor (deleted user)

    I dunno dude I'm not super attractive and my profile is pretty bare. I send two pics in my first message. My first message is usually something along the lines of that I'm looking for someone with chill energy and I list my availability. I usually schedule a cuddle a week in advance so it gives us a little time to chat on here.

    I've been rejected before. So what? That's life bro. You should ask yourself why you'd want to cuddle someone who isn't into it? That's super creepy.

    People have already said this but it's worth repeating. This activity is far more dangerous for women than it is for us. The fact that you think you need protection from "getting rejected for physical appearance" is the same as protecting these women from creeps and pervs is mind boggling. Even being robbed is less scary, in my mind.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Sorry to be curt, but if the site is making you feel worse, not better, why stay here?

  • CuddlesComfort8CuddlesComfort8

    As others have said, your profile is bare. No karma, no friends, no info, yet on the site for 4 years…

    Strangely enough, you’re actually in my radius of where I’ll drive for a session, but I’d be hesitant based on all the info you’ve been told already, too. I had someone else who claimed they had had “many cuddles” before but had been on the site for 3 years with no karma, no info, and no friends.

    That screams bad juju, regardless of gender, orientation, etc…

    I would recommend updating your profile with some aspects that show who you are.

  • cuddlebaby88cuddlebaby88

    Maybe it’s the fact that your photos arent matching so we don’t know who you really are. Women need to feel comfortable knowing who we will be opening our home to or who’s home we are going to and if we feel like your pictures are different it’s a red flag. Maybe instead of the years old photo on your profile you should update it so you are accurately representing who you are today. I always ask for two recent photos so I know who I’m expecting to be cuddling with. Nothing worse than thinking you know who’s showing up only to find out they’ve used different photos. It takes away a sense of security .

  • jabraham96jabraham96

    I’m sorry but this has to be one of the most dumbest and pointless complaints about professionals. I see a lot of stupid posts and grievances but this one takes the cake. You’re upset because a professional wants to screen you before meeting up with you? They’re doing it for their safety and also it’s for your safety as well. I’m not even a pro and I still require any woman I plan to meet up with a quick video chat that way I know who I’m meeting up with and also so she knows I’m a legit dude and I’m who say I am. Your profile doesn’t have any pics or reviews, no wonder they would want to screen you. Whether the woman I plan on cuddling with is a pro or not, i prioritize her safety over everything. I’m sorry, but you come off an as incel with this complaint. Do better

  • JubalJubal
    edited June 2025

    Leaving aside most of the other issues already raised in this thread, the simple fact of the matter is that the site is policed by volunteer moderators. As far as I know, they ain't paid, and they ain't on any kind of duty schedule.

    So if you or I hit the "mod alert" it might be seen by someone in less than a minute, or it could be some days. Depending on the report, the mods might have much more urgent matters to deal with and give your particular report low priority. If there's nobody being actively harmed, they might not even contact you.

    If you want a mod to reply, then you need to message one directly

  • BearBear

    @Jubal
    Sorry there is a new no popcorn rule. Otherwise you could get a timeout. I had just bought an extra big popcorn maker too.

    As for a reply. You don’t get a reply when you report somebody. They just take care of it. You would definitely have to reach out to one of the mods to actually speak to them about anything.

  • JubalJubal

    @Bear Oh. Goodness. Had no idea on the popcorn thing.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    All I know is I reported a profile today (most of it was about fetish and kink, not cuddling) and the person was banned in an hour or so. Site moderators go above and beyond for no reason other than dedication to the site.

  • MTexMTex

    I agree with @WriterGF the mods are on it & act quickly on credible reports & flags 🚩 Thank you to the mods!!!!

  • KatotaKatota
    edited June 2025

    Goodness. Had no idea on the popcorn thing.

    😏

    @Jubal Yeah, that's why I HUSH UP now...🤐🤐🤐

    It's a good moment for some Orville 😁, but No... Can't do it! 🤐

    😊

  • KatotaKatota

    Why is the site unmonitored

    I disagree. 😆👎

    @cobrapause44 Lol! This site may be other things, but "unmonitored" it is not. 😊

  • KatotaKatota

    Also, plutonic would mean related to death.

    Very true! 😆👍

    @IronLemon Wondered was anyone gonna catch that? Lol. Good job! 😆👍

  • KatotaKatota

    I had just bought an extra big popcorn maker too.

    @Bear 🤐🫂🤐🫂🤐

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    @cobrapause44 if a report was submitted, I haven’t seen it. Please submit it again. Or as I requested earlier, message me directly with the username.

    Locking this thread now as it’s starting to go sideways already.

This discussion has been locked.