@weluvcuddles So you’re not upset because they charge a fee. You’re upset because they say they host, they charge a fee and they won’t book the room themselves? That’s your complaint? Yeah. That’s legit a weird move on their part for sure. To not click some buttons on a website that they will be reimbursed for. But also, people lie about way worse things in their profiles. 🤷♀️
I have to agree with some of the comments here. I don’t think it’s the clients responsibility to cover hotel costs, travel fees or any fee other than the cost of the cuddle. It doesn’t matter to me if she has to book a hotel or has to travel, that’s a cost of doing business that she has to incur which all businesses and contractors have to deal with. The average person who has an average job has to incur the cost of traveling to their job. They have to pay for their own car, their own gas and they aren’t compensated for travel time in most cases.
That being said, its still a pros right to charge fees but it’s up to clients to agree to these charges or not. If a pro charges her hourly fee plus an additional hosting fee, I’ll do the math and if it seems worth it to me, I’ll book but if it doesn’t make sense to me, I’ll move on. This is not just the case with pros but with anyone that I hire for any service. This doesn’t mean that I won’t pay a fee, I still think it’s not my responsibility but I will pay if it makes sense to me.
Here’s an example of when it made sense to me. I was out of town awhile back and there was a pro in particular that I really wanted to see. She lived an hour away from my hotel and very generously only asked for a tank of gas and seeing as I really wanted to see her, it made sense to me to pay for her gas. On top of all of that, she stayed an extra hour for free.
I have to agree with @supadupa there’s a lot of whining about a simple topic. If you don’t want to pay the fee, don’t pay it. Find someone else.
Also they don't want to or can't host then want you to pay their Uber fare because they don't drive. Oh boy. To me its red flag ofrouble and not worth the hassle
@supadupa exactly
How can so many of you be so clueless as to how business/economics works? Honestly. If a business’s costs go up, the price of what’s offered goes up. If y’all want us pros to eat the costs completely and not have separate charges, depending on our individual situations, then the hourly cost for every single client has to go up. Do you want that????? Because that’s exactly what you guys are asking for who are complaining about fees for hotel or travel.
@weluvcuddles still not understanding the simplest concept of hosting, so I can’t help you.
I think the best way for a professional cuddler to avoid people being upset with host or travel fees is to charge more per hour then people won’t see separate charges and just assume the hourly fee is all that’s charged lol. To the enthusiasts don’t hate me. But prepare for slightly elevated fees
Pros need to feel easy to implement, comfortable, and actually lets them make some money. Customers need to find the right balance of perceived quality and cost. Both need to have a solution that is convenient, safe, and transparent.
There’s not one single or universal way to do it “correctly” and this is a niche enough opportunity that flexibility and creative solutions will thrive.
I think there is no problem presented in this thread that isn’t solved by some clear communication and allowing each side of the arrangement to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with and willing to do.
@LilyAnneNova exactly 👍 I don’t host anymore, most of my clients prefer to host , but, when I did, I hosted at Hotels. (Marriott/Hilton brands only) I explained to them in advance that if they wanted me to “ host” I had no problem checking in and putting my name on the room., however, they must pay for the room . I meet at a coffee shop on the day of our scheduled/confirmed appt , then we drive in our own cars over to the Hotel , they give me the cash and I go in to rent the room with my card . Then I go back outside to get him and he gives me the cuddle session fee before we begin the session.. It’s so simple. Most times they already have the Hotel room booked .. no one has ever had any issue at all with paying for the room. No issues what so ever. There is no sense for the Pro to pay for the room. No sense explaining the reason why . It’s just common sense. If they don’t want to pay for a room, he can see a cuddler that hosts at their home and doesn’t charge a hosting fee.. it’s all good 😊 no worries .. I don’t like the idea of seeing more than one person in the same Hotel room on the same day.. I’m thinking it will Not look nice for the Hotel staff to see multiple men going to my room .. ( this is one my one of the reasons I don’t use my homes for my sessions.. curious neighbors…etc…) if you have multiple people going to hotel room or your home , especially, on the same day, how will that look? There is always someone who is “ watching” ha.. calling the front desk to send up fresh sheets even once will seem peculiar.. Hotels or neighbors may call the police if they witness “ suspicious “ activity .. I do not think they will believe it’s just platonic cuddling… my mind is all over the place… ha.. just very cautious and smart 😃 like everyone else here.. I agree the pros should discuss the hosting fee in advance /in their profiles .. good idea 👍 No one can be forced or manipulated into doing anything they are not comfortable doing.. I require ID at the coffee shop from the beginning , before going anywhere. I have not had any issue with this method either. They are happy to show their ID.. I get the best clients ever! So happy 😀 I really only had a couple of boundary pushers and I reported them .. nothing too serious thank goodness , I guess because they remembered that myself and my safety friend have their information ., my cuddle clients behave nicely and have been just wonderful 😃
Deleting to end conversation
I agree. And if a pro can only be a guest, do we have the right to charge them a hosting fee? I don't think that would sit well with them. But for their very reasons WHY they charge a hosting fee, we might have those same reasons. Honestly, hosting fees are just a scam in the end. If this is a pro's "business" and this is how they make income, then doing things to "tidy up" or make the space more comforting should be on their dime, not ours. Thats called overhead expenses! You don't get charged a "dining fee" when you go to a restaurant!!
@CuddlTastic actually..,,, restaurants Do charge dining fees 😃 … food, service fee/tip .. you just don’t feel it because restaurants have more customers in one day ( maybe 100 customers? Depending on the restaurant) where as a pro may only have only One in one day and they may ask you to pay a hosting fee.. of course you may decline and it’s all good.. there are many people who don’t mind paying the hosting fee.. pros also pay a service fee to the CC site. Im not going to pay one of my housekeepers to clean my house and then turn around and charge them for being there…silly 🤪 I do pay my housekeeper for her travel/gas fee and for her parking fee when she comes to my other home in Manhattan. It’s just common courtesy… appreciation. My clients don’t mind renting a nice hotel room of my choice .. never had an issue .. 😊
First off, @weluvcuddles , I hear your annoyance with having to sort through profiles that you see as flagged as hosting when they are not actually securing/providing the space. And while some of these are artifacts (people hosting when in one location, but not when in another), I have no doubt that there are profiles that do flag as hosting just to get more hits, and I have no doubt that some of these are errors of omission, etc.
Second, in my understanding of the context of these forums and the communities that gather here, you come off as entitled. Some portion of that is not specifically your fault. Some of it is that there have been plenty of entitled folks, disproportionately men, who have come through those doors before you. Some of it is that you're relatively new here.
On the other hand, in another thread, you mixed what I will assume were legit concerns with pushback and complaints about the site, moderators and moderation policies, with arguments that come across as hyperbole and painting yourself as the victim. That reads as entitled behavior.
Then this post on the forums comes across. The opening hedge, the escalating accusations "dishonest, misleading and false advertising." The assumption that the community of people on the forums (with whom you have minimally interacted with outside of the aforementioned thread, as far as I can tell) should care about your "pet peeve". The closing line "But maybe that's my dumb opinion." These are all written/verbal signals that point towards entitlement, disingenuous engagement, etc.
I could easily be wrong about what's going on in your head. Maybe you don't feel that people you have barely interacted with should care about your frustration, annoyance, or pet peeves. Maybe you don't want the validation of people dog-piling on the target of your ire. Maybe you don't want the validation of people dog-piling on you because they read that tone even while the content is hedged and at least partially valid on its face.
Maybe that disconnect between what you mean and how you come off is one of the reasons you're looking for touch here. And maybe that disconnect isn't as complete as it could be.
And, on a lighter note:
I charge a lot less than some people for cuddles and I have packaged rates, but, I also don't host. I really don't blame the women that are charging high rates if they're having to book a hotel with their own money too. I'm not sure why the people seeking pros don't understand that if you're not hosting yourself, the rate is going to go up.
@RebeccaKe no need to lower your fees ! Pros put a lot of time and effort into making a session happen.. etc… I find that I get mostly two hour sessions with my fee plus they pay for the Hotel on top of the cuddle fee 😃 I appreciate their kindness ..they don’t mind at all.. When my fee was lower, I mostly had one hour requests from those who only wanted to pay for little motels, ( I declined for safety reasons) , they still wanted to try to haggle for lower fee on top of it.. 😩..the ones that don’t want to pay for a Hotel 🏨 don’t have to do so.. it’s all good 👍 😃 plenty of amazing cuddlers to choose from here..Each person should do what is right for them and what works best for them ., 😃
I didn't get through all 4 pages of this thread, but got about halfway through. From my understanding the claim was more about the definition of hosting and being frustrated at the inconsistency of it. For example if a pro's profile says "Host" but in reality they expect you as the client to book and pay for the room (which does take effort that I myself would rather not go through), then why list your profile as Host rather than guest if you're coming to a room that a client booked and set up. I didn't take it as complaining about actually paying a hosting fee as long as they didn't have to go through the work of setting up and hosting a location via dayuse or any other way. Now I don't know all the details but from what I can infer from the cuddle pro in question's profile she both offers to host (only in hotels), and also states feel free to book a room via dayuse.com for daytime sessions if you're unable to host. To me those lines are just a tiny bit confusing, as if the client is using dayuse to book a room, would that not be them hosting (albeit in a booked room rather than their home)? I think simply that line in that small section is the only thing confusing, as later in the profile it clarifies why the profile both is listed as host and guest basically saying to communicate whether the client is hosting at their home or in a hotel that they themselves book, and also it says IF she is able to host in a hotel in the near future, she will communicate it in the initial exchange. So that makes sense to me. To me it says that sometimes she MAY be able to set something up and host a hotel room herself, but not always and that's perfectly fine. To me that still counts as a profile that lists hosts since it's sometimes rather than never. As for having a hosting fee, higher base price, or asking the client to pay part or all of the hosting fee (especially for shorter sessions) well that's completely up to the pro to ask for and up to the client to agree or say no thank you and walk away politely.
I personally do shy away from things such as hosting fees, travel fees, and most especially deposits, but I have made exceptions and don't say never. The only thing I haven't done is host pros myself. There have been times where I see a pro I'd love to have a cuddle session with but I can't host at home (I stay with family - no wife, no kids, no girlfriend) in most circumstances, so they will suggest dayuse and then I hesitate to reply as I feel uncomfortable doing that. I will admit that I've had exactly 2 people I met from here come into my home and that was after knowing them for a while and both were enthusiasts who met my family and are/were close friends by that point. I don't disclose to my family about my cuddling habits as I wouldn't want to have that conversation and them thinking it means I need help or something else negative. Have I ever booked a hotel room before? Sure. Have I used dayuse before? no and I typically don't feel comfortable doing the booking myself and dealing with the logistics of it. I get a little nervous and stressed about it, so I'd rather just help pay for it as long as I don't have to actually book the room, have it in my name, and deal with checking out and all that. Of course if the pro is from out of town and gets enough bookings to not need to include a hosting fee or a higher rate, even better! It usually leads to me booking more hours anyway.
@CSnMUS87 you got the gist of it except my post isn't about that pro in specific, she just thinks it was about her because she was insulted that I was so uninterested in cuddling with her that I just blocked her so she wouldn't keep showing up on my searches. Part of my disinterest certainly has to do with the wording of her profile but she can't understand that after sorting through so many profiles that say host but then put it on the client to actually host, I'm just griping in general about inaccurate profiles and no one in specific. But so many people convoluted the conversation that many people think I'm talking about the money. Anyway, TY for commenting, I was beginning to think myself insane and wondering if I was presenting myself so in coherent that no one understood.
@kendrayk74 Or maybe such terms like this is just my opinion...is a humble way of saying these are my thoughts and I could be wrong minded about them. I can't help but feel like you are reading far too much and too inaccurately into what I've said and playing armchair psychology. Tbh I find your inaccurate analysis of me and my reasoning insulting. And heed your own meme when it comes to "entitlement." Wishing pro cuddlers had more accurate profiles regarding host/guest status is a far cry from demanding people cater to my whims, one is expressing a want, another is entitlement. If I seem disingenuous with people on this thread it's due to a lack of reason to be engaging with them. I mean right out of the gate people took what I politely said and made it about them and took it as an attack against them. So I'm kinda at the point where despite replying I don't actually care too much if I'm vilified or who likes or hates me. A lot of passive aggressive bullies on here especially from the so called pros.
If I show in my profile that I host and I offer to host in my home but the client wants me to come to them in their hotel for their own convenience then it’s only fair that they pay a travel fee (over 30 minutes). Because they are the reason that I am getting into my car and taking time to travel to them it’s logical. I generally don’t go to a stranger’s home, not safe. So I host or will do a hotel session.
@TichantoP exactly
@weluvcuddles was your name at the top? no? then maybe that whole thing wasn't directed at what you said not everything is about you
@weluvcuddles
I’m not sure if you saw my comment but 2 days ago I commented and said, apologize to @CarrieCo send her a virtual hug and move on. Look where we’re at 2 days later. If you would have taken my advice, this whole thing would have been over 2 days ago.
@SweetCuddler33 I've tried explaining the same thing in plain simple english and with math and they still don't get it no matter how many of us explain.
One last try! Fast food joint selling burgers guys. Their costs increase, rent, ingredients, employee wages etc.... but that's not your problem, it's the cost of doing business. Why don't their prices stay the same? the business's costs shouldn't affect the price of your food, right? lol
@CuddlTastic it's a scam! a burger should still cost about $0.15! Like it did in the 1950's! (it's true look it up). Even if you account for inflation, that's $1.86 today. So why are some burgers today north of $10?
** Businesses don't eat the cost of doing business, they always pass the cost on to customers. That's how they are able to turn a profit.**
Now, switch over to, the fees of pros. The reason they exist, we are people. We have different situations. We have a general per hour rate, and then depending on our** INDIVIDUAL ** situations, if there are extra costs involved for EITHER hosting in a hotel or traveling to be a guest, we have a fee to cover the extra costs for those cuddlers choosing those particular options. If that doesn't work for you, find a different pro who is a match to your needs. It's not deceptive when they clearly communicate these things to you, you're just upset because things aren't going your way. There are plenty of cuddlers who understand all of this and don't need such a long thread full of explanations.
@kendrayk74 AWESOME! 👏 definitely yes, he comes off as entitled for sure. I even offered a different solution to his ire which @weluvcuddles completely ignored, because it make sense. Ask for the site to add another option outside of the three currently available, instead of complaining to people who literally can't do anything about them except agree, disagree and argue. He still can't concede that a pro providing the hotel room with a small additional fee is still hosting. He is attention seeking imo.
Can we all be done with this thread now?
If you're hosting at a hotel, book more cuddles in a concentrated time. If you claim to be able to host, then making the arrangements is your responsibility, as well as the cost. If neither person can usually host, then the two of you would need to work that out. I recently suggested that we split the cost of a motel, and didn't get a response from that pro. I guess she wanted me to take care of it, which I couldn't at that time.
If anyone needs an example, then you can still make money booking 6 hours of cuddles with 3 clients at $100 per hour. After the 15% cut you have $510 of revenue. With a $200 hotel room with an additional $30 in fees and taxes, you're looking at $230 in that cost. Add in $50 of food and prep time and your total prep cost is $280. Your net for the evening is $230. Figure that you need 6 hours of prework to book those 6 hours of cuddles, and you have 12 hours of work for net $230. That works out to just under $20/hr for the work. If you're doing this as a traveler, as I have known cuddlers to do, it's even easier when you're holding the hotel over multiple days as long as you can arrange clients for those days. As for reducing the cost, if you can get 20% more clients by lowering prices from $120 to $100, then it's worth it.
I don't know how much prework goes into each hour of paid cuddles for each pro, I'm using the standard 2 to 1 for work time to unpaid networking and hunting time for contractors in other professions.
@Morpheus yes I saw it but I'm not in the habit of apologizing to someone I've never wronged. In fact I've never even spoken to her beyond responding to her comments on this thread, where again, I've said nothing wrong, nor insulting, nor mean or aggressive despite some of the less flattering things thrown my way, such as being called entitled, a creepy boundary pusher and condescendingly suggested I learn to read. Currently according to my accounting I owe zero apologies. I'm especially not apologizing to someone laying down mean girl energy. Do you normally apologize to people just because they disagree with you even if you haven't said anything bad? Truth be told I'm twice as happy I took a hard pass at engaging with her because of her vibe. I'm sure she feels the same. I actually find it kinda funny that instead of pros taking a customers feedback on what could possibly improve a customer experience and learning from it, it was interrupted as a personal attack. And instead of addressing the actual issue, everyone made it about themselves and why or why they don't host and why they charge x amount. I'm al for conversations evolving beyond the initial scope but the fact people have taken it to where it is now is not my doing nor do I care if they continue to bicker about the economics of hosting.
@weluvcuddles Discussion forums are, by design, spaces for discussion — and that means people won't always agree. Posting publicly is an open invitation for engagement, within site and forum rules, of course.
That said, I understand it's frustrating when people misread your intent or push back not just on your point of view, but on your delivery too — especially when you were hoping for a different kind of response. One thing that can really help is stating your intent upfront in the original post. If you're looking to vent, feel heard, or get some validation, just say so! Otherwise, people will naturally respond with their own opinions rather than the support you were hoping for. Setting expectations from the start is a lot easier than trying to steer a conversation back on track once it's already gone sideways.
If your goal is to give feedback to pros specifically, that feedback is going to land a lot better — and be more likely to actually create change — if it's sent directly and privately to the people it's meant for. A broad public post directed at a diverse group tends to spark debate rather than reflection. If a particular pro's profile or policies felt misleading, a direct message like "hey, this part of your profile is confusing and I think it could be clearer" is far more likely to prompt them to make an update than a general venting post on the forums — which the pros in question probably won't even see.
@cuddlefaery I literally said "just a vent" in my opening sentence. I don't know how to be more clear than that in expressing my tone and intent.
Day 5.
….
I hear you and I agree with much of what you’ve said but you’ve been here for a month, I’ve been here for 12 years. I’m not always a perfect citizen and I’ve ruffled feathers but I also know that sometimes, you just have to stop and cut your losses.
You gotta trust me.
@LilyAnneNova I understood OPs complaint to be about the task of finding and booking a hotel room, not about paying an additional "hosting" fee. Host means you are handling the cuddle location logistics, guest means you are showing up at a location arranged by the other person. Some Pros delineate hosting and other fees separately, some roll it all into hourly rate. Doesn't matter, fees are not the issue of discussion.
In other words, issue is Pros selecting host in "can be" field on their profile, presumably to appear in more search results since host is a searchable metric. Then, in their profile they indicate otherwise, like OPs example of someone describing areas where a hotel could be rented and directing the client to handle logistics and financials of hotel.