For those complaining about the rates pros are charging take a moment to consider this.
We put ourselves in unfamiliar spaces with strangers. We often put ourselves in a vulnerable position. Have you ever been dry humped by someone of the opposite sex who is 4 times your size? Have you ever had a hand shoved under clothing by someone who can easily overpower you? Have you ever gone to the bathroom in someone's home and found a hidden camera with the sole purpose of recording you undress? Been forcibly kissed while you're just trying to maintain a platonic and professional atmosphere? Been raped? I've heard all these from other pros. It must be nice to rarely consider these scenarios. To put ourselves at risk comes at a price. That price will vary depending on location, competition, and how we value our time.
Yes, there is a price tag attached to pro services. If they didn't charge they would be too busy working a full-time job to cuddle anyone. Do you think if pros dropped from the site all these lonely men here would suddenly find a cuddle partner for free?
Don't like what someone is charging? Don't hire them. Simple enough. They will either make enough to justify their rates and sustain themselves or price themselves out of the market.
No one here owes anyone anything for free or cheap. No one here is obligated to pay for services. You are here on your own free will.
@waynewv
Pros who are charging more during covid are usually charging extra for the risk they are undertaking by cuddling. If they get sick they have to quarantine for two weeks. It's not a business is slow so I'll charge twice as much, as it is this is risky, I want to be compensated for risking my health.
I used to get frustrated when seeing an average 1hr session costing around $100. However, I don’t think I’d have the mental strength to cuddle with random people at any price. Yes, I know cuddling is therapeutic but it’s also very intimate. There’s too many unknowns that you might not find out until your within a foot of that person. This is going to sound harsh but what if the person has terrible breath, body odor, a big mole with a long black hair sticking out of it, dandruff, dirty nails, sweaty skin, hairy/prickly legs or arms, etc. For me to see any of this for at least 60 straight minutes, would cause me to have a panic attack. Let’s not forget all the safety concerns too.
My “shallow Hal” list above is why I could never do this. I 100% would not have the mental strength to do it. This is why I have a lot of respect for those who do this. If you can see through all of the above and keep a positive attitude for an entire session, by all means, you charge as much as possible and you’ll always have my respect.
I think it’s supply and demand?
*** Warning - contains generalization ***
It seems some people asking "Why?" really don't want to know because when the information is provided, they just go back to asking "Why?" again. I think often the question "Why?" is a thinly veiled rant and that the questioner often doesn't really want to know, especially if the information provided doesn't validate their narrative.
It's been stated again and again on this site why men have to pay and women don't, why there are more men and why there are fewer women and it has nothing to do with the inherent value of a human being and their cuddles. Complain all you want about how the women of the cuddlesphere should be validating your inherent value through being more responsive, being more plentiful, or wanting your cuddles, but there isn't a cultural customer service counter to actually have your complaints lodge in any way that will bring you satisfaction, Certainly women aren't going to hear your cries and complaints and shape up in the way you'd like. Just like women sharing or ranting about the behavior of men isn't going to help us those of us who prefer to cuddle men to find a wholesome-feeling man who gets our emotional-physical landscape to feel safe and honored with to the point we want to press our precious flesh up against him.
The one useful thing about ranting is it's good for commiseration and support. Hey, I feel like this, do you? But trying to make your feelings be about another (or group of others) who should be different to make it fair for you, or good for you, or loving or safe or anything else for you, someone who has their own independent life and struggles of their own, is, well, silly.
Who ever said life was supposed to be fair? So ow, and wah, and well, let's see what we can do with this blanket full of holes.
@littermate but why ?
I teach tennis. I have a friend who also teaches. She charges close to double an hour of what I charge. I have 3 times as many clients as she does. There is no right or wrong here. I prefer to keep my prices lower and have more clients. She prefers a higher price knowing she will get less clients.
@pmvines chuckle.
Seriously people, take it or leave it. Some of you asking “why” apparently don’t understand gender dynamics. Let me help you out. Why do pros charge what they do? Because they can. No need for silly comparisons to lawyers, plumbers or other professionals. And certainly they don’t have to justify their fees to anyone here. More power to you, ladies.
@littermate ~ For the win once again!!! 🥇
@Envie ~ It was so close! The gold right there within reach, until LM swooped in then dropped the mic! So a second place silver to you!!🥈
Really though ~ You two are just awesome! Thank you for not being quiet and for saying all that needed to be said!!! 👏👏👏👏👏💓
@littermate @Envie for the record I never complained just stated rational economic reasons why one would charge more than another.
@Envie Why conduct a cuddle session through the troubles you mentioned ? Isn’t there a CSA that allows for a professional to stop the session once troubled starts up ? Very simple , a pro does not have to put up with that . The pro should get up and leave
@cuddlerforu24
Why conduct a cuddle session through the troubles you mentioned ? Isn’t there a CSA that allows for a professional to stop the session once troubled starts up ? Very simple , a pro does not have to put up with that . Get up and leave >
Ah yes. I'll be sure to pass on this wisdom to the next person who says they were raped. I'm sure that will go over well.
Just leave
/s
Again, it must be nice to never consider the possibility of being suddenly pinned down by someone twice your size.
Don't be obtuse. Most do leave. It doesn't take away from the fact it's something pros have experienced. It shouldn't happen to start. Period.
@Envie. Your saying if the client does not like the cost they don’t have to purchase .
I’m saying if the profession does not like the risks , they do not have to practice professional cuddling
@cuddlerforu24 Or they can continue to cuddle at a rate that makes them comfortable. You don't get to dictate what anyone charges or why. That's the beauty of a free market. 😉
If a client doesn't like this they can move on to another cuddler or go cuddle a pillow.
Merry Christmas, I have a plane to board.
@Envie I see .
Merry Xmas to you too
@cuddlerforu24 the real issue I think @envie is trying to address is safety and risk being a factor in why some pros calculate their rates. The appropriate thing to ask yourself is why are so many men doing things that put women at risk and what can be done to prevent this from happening. Not to ask well why then do you bother cuddling. And then go back to complaining about prices of pros and why nobody wants to respond or cuddle with you .
I am learning so much here. I really appreciate the woman’s perspective and the men that can help articulate and develop their points further! Thank you
@pmvines when you say what can men ( or women)do to prevent bad behavior from others ... there is nothing that can be done , except be compliant themselves . And that seems to be what the complainers are doing . They are opening up their wallets and homes and paying deposits and after a few years they have a Rolodex full of references and glowing karma feedback reports and yet still their cuddling rates are going up , while they have actually earned safe driver points and receive discounts on auto insurance form safe driving . Oh but don’t complain about it on the forum . Perhaps the professional can employ more screening in client selection . It seems that there is ... a lack of response could be interpreted as the client has been screened out . I think complaints from professionals about bad behavior will continue through 2021 with the recommendation to the professional is jack up rates and let yourself be groped, or don’t cuddle ( as per Envie)
If it can be proven that improved mental and emotional health through regular cuddling sessions lowers certain crime rates (such as rape, violence, murder) and lowers suicide (and I believe the correlation exists but proving it is another matter) then perhaps the government could be persuaded to subsidise cuddling services, especially for long time single men. The cost of cuddling might then be less of an issue for the average guy.
I honestly dont see a correlation between cuddling and crime reduction . That is a pretty big stretch . I love cuddling and endorse it and think everyone should do it as often as possible. That being said , I am realistic and sm not one of the people who like to push it as some sort of miracle water . I like cuddling enough to be honest and not.want it to turn into snake oil , which unfortunately does happen kinda frequently on here.
Ultimately, despite all the discussion about safety, risk, etc, cuddle prices are what they are because of the simple economic forces of supply and demand. If a lot more pros entered the market, the competition would drive the price down, but for whatever reason that's not happening. While I have some level of sympathy for men who want to discuss or commiserate about the situation, nagging pros about it is just ridiculous - would you volunteer to take a reduction in pay just to be generous to your employer?
@Comfy_Arms
perhaps the government could be persuaded to subsidise cuddling services, especially for long time single men
There is absolutely no chance this would ever happen.
@CuddleMeLater Like I said, proving the correlation might be tricky. But if it can, the cost of subsidising might be cheaper than the cost of the crimes it prevents.
@pmvines Well I can see a correlation. People who are happy and feel valued and feel good about themselves... do they go around hating on others? do they have short fuses? do they feel sad and lonely and that their life is miserable and pointless? do they have a sense of being hard done by that makes them look for ways to avenge themselves? Or does their happiness make them reach out to others to express and share that happiness? No correlation huh?
Never did say someone cant be a happier person if they cuddle.. there are literally hundreds of things people can do at any given moment to make themselves happy. Not everyone honestly gets that through cuddling as not everyone enjoys it or gets anything from it. You might, as well as myself or others, but not everyone and honestly i am quite happy if I am not cuddling too , and can obtain happiness through many means. I am a content individual. And no, cuddling doesn't reduce crime. You are applying a very generalized simplistic correlation. I will not try to apply things to cuddling to try to oversell it or try to turn it into snake oil .
Thanks @quixotic_life.
@CuddleMeLater Where in this discussion am I nagging pros?
Being a full-time pro is running your own business, and it comes with both financial and personal safety risks. Most people become business owners because they expect a bigger rewards than the average wage earner. Other factors that go into my pricing include all of my overhead costs and the fact that I am limited in the amount of clients I can see due to covid, needing to be freshly showered and have clean clothes for each client, needing to drive or change sheets between clients etc. Unlike a talk therapist or massage therapist it is not realistic for professional cuddlers to have several clients a day. Even without covid I can’t do more than two sessions a day. I drive quite a bit to get to cuddle sessions. I am usually putting 2000-3000 miles a month on my car. I purchased a new car earlier this year so I could drive to clients so I am saddled with a $600 car payment every month, I also just got an office space to host and I now have to pay $425 a month on rent plus I just spent about $5000 on paint, furniture and decorations. Since I am self employed I also spend $560 a month on my health insurance. Bottom line, it’s not cheap to be a professional cuddler. I have to invest a lot into myself and my business in order to provide a worthwhile experience for my clients.
“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts , we’d all have a merry Christmas “
@CuddleMeLater "would you volunteer to take a reduction in pay just to be generous to your employer?" Lol. I have created way too many paths to discounts for people, not because they were requested, but because I care. I realized recently that I'm not doing my clients any favors by undercutting myself to the point where I will need to stop and get another job, lol. So this year the ONLY discounts that are available are through my monthly membership program. It is simpler for me to implement and further encourages what will be most helpful to me, flatter reliable monthly income. I've been doing this for almost three years and I'm still constantly adjusting everything. 🤷
@pmvines I don't call it snake oil and try to be honest and not inflate the powers of cuddling, but it IS pretty powerful. We can agree to disagree though, lol. The problem is that to really reap noticeable benefits, people would probably have to cuddle a lot more than is financially feasible for most people. But I'm also not just talking about cuddling, but spending time with a quality professional or quality person, who listens, values, validates, and accepts you as you are. It's more the benefits of consensual platonic touch in combination with junior level talk therapy. Lol. Frankly, one thing that is said is that it is no wonder so many men engage in so much violence, because they have no permissible outlet if they're not in a healthy relationship. All those needs get bottled up and the only way they come out is through violence. (Obviously I am speaking generically and plenty of men are able to handle these feelings without violence). So I do believe that if more men saw a quality professional, were able to learn about consent, boundaries, and spend time exploring these needs in a safe, educating, and consensual environment, it could certainly decrease their violent outbreaks. 🤷 I wouldn't count it out at all...
In regards to the original post, I actually voted for too high, because I do feel, in general pros coming into this space are charging WAY more than I did when I first started almost three years ago. I think it's too high, but at the same time, people can charge whatever they want. I think people seeking a professional can look at so many things in order to choose the right professional for them, and rate is one of those things. Personally, even though I know this is a judgment and bias, I get an impression from professionals who charge an exceptional amount, and it's not a good one. It just is what it is. If I talked to the person, had a conversation, I might feel differently, but that is my first impression, and first impressions are important in business. 🤷 I struggled with officially raising to $100/hr, partially because a lot of people filter on <$99/hr, but I am comfortable with that rate, especially considering the discounts I offer repeat clients. I'm not sure if or when I would feel comfortable going higher than that. I like that rate for an established professional (I know some big names in the industry who are higher, and justifiably). I find $100/hr to be a nice balance between respect for my time (and hopeful sustainability) and respect for how much money that truly is for other people.
I have to agree. The price is to high for a pro. My RMT and any RMT She went to school and got 3000 hrs of Training / lessons . That costs her over $ 8500.00 She had to buy equipment . Table, Oils , Utilities etc. A city license cost her $ 150.00 per year She charges $ 80.00 hr . and the best part my insurance covers 75 %