About me
I got to witness human conflict, violence, trauma, abuse, neglect, ignorance, indifference, resentment, hatred, intolerance, indoctrination, addiction, dishonesty, mental illness, poverty, hunger, privilege, and despair starting from a young age, and I struggled with recognizing, coming to terms with, and addressing the very same traumatic tendencies inside of myself.
I attempted perfecting avoiding myself, the reality of my circumstances, the world I inhabited and was a part of; perfecting ignoring my needs, stuffing down my feelings, abusing myself searching every possible form of escapism available, wanting absolutely nothing to do with myself, and not surprisingly I was one miserable, negative, pessimistic, depressed, and unhappy human being until all that pain I’ve chosen to inflict upon myself and those around me ended up becoming intense enough to momentarily burn through the ego and allow me to experience only the briefest of spiritual awakenings that was enough to expose me to a much easier, softer, rational, more rewarding and enjoyable alternatives for living life.
I’ve been hungry for more of that amazing spiritual experience ever since that day and have been on a personal spiritual journey allowing me to reconnect with authenticity and begin living a life beyond my wildest dreams.
I am intelligent and communicative; perceived calculated & rational from the outside yet deeply emotional and compassionate on the inside; detail oriented; empathic; spiritual; flawed but self-aware and continuously working on becoming more authentic; available, attentive, appreciative, accepting, and affectionate to those who are loyal to me & dismissive, ignoring , avoiding, allowing, and emotionally unavailable to anyone who is not genuine, real, authentic, honest, aware, compassionate, loving, accepting, and kind to both themselves and others.
I am here seeking genuine human connection and give back of this wonderful gift I’ve been given as a result of being horribly selfish, ignorant & unaware human being for the first half of life to such an extent I ended up triggering the necessity for drastic change within myself if I were to be capable of continuing living a life.
Blessed and I love cuddling. I have wide shoulders, a big back, at 5’11” I consistently weigh somewhere between 185lbs and 200lbs of (mostly) muscle, and I am built to be the best big spoon candidate North of Sacramento.
New at this. Until I can figure out if I am a good enough fit to pursue this as a career, I’m open to suggestions and willing to work towards something mutually beneficial, so hit me up you crazy cuddlers!!! 😘