@Mmart Ahahaha, I can only speak for myself, but I tend to be pretty frank about who I am in first dates - so I'd just freakin say it and see what happened next But I could understand it if someone didn't feel comfortable disclosing it right away.
Lets start the debate again then...
I think people in the USA need to take a chill pill.. Unfortunately, the combination of Obama and his successor created a very polarizing environment. Mr. Orange took it on another level and in contrast with Obama's eloquence and heritage created an unpleasant and quite dangerous combination. People in Europe- black, white, yellow whatever- can share a space happily. I think in order to be peace there needs to be no distinction of race. If there is race distinction, there will never be equality. But I think all is derived by the general hatred about the Socioeconomic disparities that are apparent here.
3 instances that made me say that. 1) I got called a white privileged male, although the person was aware that I am a first generation immigrant from a country with a financial status similar of Gabon or Mali (African countries). People are blinded at this point. 2) I am not considered a diverse or underrepresented in my workforce. I am literally from a war torn country. Like literally, saying to someone escaping from war torn Syria that he is not diverse enough and that there needs to be given more opportunities to underrepresented people- I thought I would be a prime candidate for that but apparently not (I am not from Syria by the way, it was an example.) 3) Recently, I got spat upon by a native American (allegedly) - he was probably homeless- because I was dining in a Thai restaurant in his native land. As far as, I know my ancestors were oppressed and my country's neighbours were bombed with "democratic" wars.
I have never seen so much (artificial- media borne) hatred nor spite for each others race anywhere in the developed world. If this is the way forward, blimey, we are headed for a WWIII based on something that was supposed to be solved in the 60's. I would be interested in this debate
Um... @nickori ~ Seems all that should be it's own thread...
As far as the term, "Girl/Girls" I shutter because all over the place here are signs outside establishments, (that are just blocks from an elementary school or next to the library), that read, "All nude girls!" or "Girls, girls, girls" with a naked silhouette. Yuck!
As for telling one's spouse ~ I did, but I get why many don't. Fear leads us to do all sorts of inexplicable stuff.
edited typos
@nickori I think it would be good to start by understanding the term "white privilege" better - I don't think any white person who hasn't taken the initiative to read up on it can fully understand it.
1) If you're a white man (or hell, just white), and you move to a place where the most powerful positions are occupied by other white men (ie. CEOs, managers, mayors, premiers, lawmakers, etc), that in itself works to your advantage in a lot of ways, regardless of your background - people tend to relate better to people who seem like them. The people who have the most control over your fate won't have the same unconscious biases toward you that they might have toward a woman, a person of color, etc. So you're less likely to be passed over for the promotion you've worked hard for, get killed by the police while you're out minding your own business, etc. That's all that "white privilege" refers to. It doesn't imply that you've lived a life of affluence, that you've never encountered hardship, etc.
2) I'm in agreement with you on this. I don't think that's fair.
3) Let's say someone took your grandfather's home and everything he owned, and kicked him out in the streets to fend for himself, and nobody would help him because the person who took the house was part of a group of people who wrote the country's laws, and they agreed it was perfectly legal since they considered your grandfather beneath them. Since the person who took your grandfather's house got the property for practically nothing, he ends up making a metric fuckton of money and his family gets wealthier and wealthier while your family is stuck in generational poverty and trauma, surrounded by a brand new society you never asked for, where laws are made to screw you over again and again and help guys like the thief who stole your grandfather's home do well for themselves. When you see the new renters of your grandfather's home out and having a great old time, enjoying the amenities that came at the price of losing everything your family had, you might feel a tad spicy toward them. I'm not saying it's alright to spit on someone, absolutely not - but it's worth considering the history here.
(Er, if any POC read what I wrote and I'm totally off on my understanding, pls to correct the hell out of me. I've been spending this year learning as much as I can about this stuff, but it isn't my personal experience, so I'm bound to get shit wrong.)
Oh... also, you're right @quixotic_life, this should probably be in a different thread so we don't derail @Sweetcuddler82's topic yet again. I won't continue posting about this here, but if I see @nickori open a new thread I'll discuss it there.
@squeakytoy I don't think we can generalise about "white men" reading. Reading can be an all sides of the political spectrum. There are academics that support all possible views. What you select to adhere to is a matter of personal biases and psychological schemas. So your view adheres to one side of the spectrum (of the thousands not just two that you have here) but there are others that are not necessarily wrong.
1) I agree overall but I think its a bit simplistic to see it that way. What is white? Why am I considered "white"? How do I have an advantage when I have an accent? When I don't look American nor behave like one (black or white)? Do people relate with me when I behave, sound and look foreign? If I asked you the same question in the early 2000s you would say that if I sounded a bit Arabic I would be thrown to jail for questioning the moment I stepped in the country. Who can forget Ashcroft v. Iqbal in 2009? Apparently Arabic is not diverse anymore. I think thats why there needs to be a chill pill administered. There are so many differing views that are not necessarily wrong, which shows that polarization is just plain harmful. But let's leave all that aside. Lets assume that we manage to see the degrees of race and the weighing that these play in the innate injustice of the people in power. Would people agree then that the fairest distribution would be to statistically stratify people. In every environment and every position of power there would be, for 100 people, 60 white (60% of population), 19 Hispanic (19% of population) 12 Black (12%) and 6 Asian (6%). This sounds the fairest right? Would people agree?
3) You skip what I told you about my past (refer to point 1 of my previous argument where people are not listening anymore) and you assume that this hasn't happened to me! Well it has and multiple times over the period of 200 years that White Europeans did that to the Native Americans. Of course it was despicable, tragic and should never have happened. But thats our history. Should Ancient Greeks spit on Italians for what the Roman Empire did to them? Should Indians spit on the British Empire? Should Literally all of Europe spit Germans for what they did 80 years ago? My Grandmother's kid was shot in front of her by Germans (Guess who is the rich country and who is not). Things that are tangibly close...My Grandmother was literally tearing up when she was saying the stories. My friends were displaced and had their homes occupied by the Turkish in Cyprus 30 years ago and even still today! Literally almost in my lifetime. Do I spit on Turks, Germans, Italians, English and what not who have sodomized and killed my ancestors and reaped on our lands? Its incredibly despicable and things I am dreading not to experience in my lifetime. But the only way I see this happening is by unity. I forget what Turkish did to my friends families, Germans on my grandmothers and 100 other nations on my ancestors, because if I didn't forget we would never be in Peace. And I am not a tad spicy. Not today, because its not a random citizen's fault and I will not display nor feel hatred towards them. If I did wouldn't I be the same and worse that I am instigating all these harmful events once again creating the same memories for my kids I wished not to have?
I think the only way forward is to be united, and everyone to work towards the others' present and future and not past. But in the end of the day all should be seen equal and work to cultivate love HUGS and CUDDLES!!!
(Ok I stop now, sorry for spamming the thread)
Holy-derailed-thread-Batman!
haha sorry thats my fault... I won't do it again, I promise.
Just be upfront about yourself. Either someone accepts you and your choices, or they don't. Better to be with someone that accepts you. Hiding things from your partner that you think may hurt them is a recipe for disaster; I would even go as far as to call it manipulative/abusive.
I don’t think there’s any need to specifically bring it up, but if your date asks what your job is, it’s better to be honest. If already with a spouse, and thinking of becoming a professional, just let them know.
Comment reported, reviewed, and removed for baiting/trolling. [-Sid]