anxiety

Hopec

I have been thinking that some of the anxiety I have been experiencing lately is because I do not have enough physical touch in my life. I am a very touch oriented person but my anxieties have become wrapped up in touch as well. I'm more anxious when I don't have as much of it but I also am too anxious to ask for it and even the idea that a stranger would be willing to hug me for a while makes me feel like crying. ( The good kind of crying. like relief and I'm about to shatter apart because your so nice thank you). I have been seeing some of the warnings on here about being careful and how to watch out for people who are trying to use this as a dating site. (or worse) And the almost hope I was feeling before is kind of trampled by more anxiety. sighs I guess what I'm looking for is does this really turn out okay. Platonic cuddling, safely with real people. honestly I'd settle for just leaning on someone.

so proper questions I guess.
What does a good conversation about prospective cuddling look like?

Have people had good experiences here?

How do you approach cuddling when you're very anxious/ how does someone approach you/ where do you start?

Is there an ethics for cuddling I can look at somewhere? so I know if someone isn't or I'm not.

Should you contact pros or other people? both? what are the benefits of seeing a pro over someone who isn't.

What does cuddling mean or look like? is it just hugging or like platonic physical touch like you walk around with the occasional pat or lean on someone? Are we talking about full -we are going to lay down and hold each other and that's it- or just other things?

Are there any group cuddling events? like a lot of people all meet up just to cuddle.

Is there pro cuddling related to therapy? Would there be other places to go for that?

I know this is a lot sorry.

@Hopec I feel for you honey - you sound a lot like me. I never thought I was a touchy-feely kinda person, but when I moved to areas like CO and OK where people regularly hugged, it was wonderful! Now I'm back in Midwest and am missing it something fierce. I get the need to feel comfort, warmth, safety, stability through a hug or like you said, even just leaning on someone. If I were still in OK I would be happy to meet up! I haven't had any luck finding what I need on here, but that doesn't mean you won't. Good luck! (hugs)

SunsetSnuggles

@Hopec Welcome to the site!! 🤗 You are asking wonderful questions. I'd love to give a proper response, once I'm back home from vacation. Also, feel free to PM me, anytime! You sound like you're just perfect for the spirit of what this site is meant to be all about.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

CuddleDuncan

Welcome, @Hopec. These are excellent questions. In summary, yes you can find some help and support here - lots of people do, including me. To help you get started you may find these threads useful:

• Top Tips for New Enthusiast Women

• I'm a non-pro woman on this site, and here's what I look for in a first message.

• Meeting Somebody From The Internet – Safety Precautions

• How to Create a Great Profile

Yes, the people warning you are right - be careful and selective, but remember that there are lots of lovely people here. Note that crying is a normal, accepted and common part of cuddling. As is laughing.

What does a good conversation about prospective cuddling look like?

Hang out here for a while and it will become clear. Look for respect and thoughtfulness.

Have people had good experiences here?

Yes. (Bad experiences also occur, sadly. But they are outweighed by the good.)

How do you approach cuddling when you're very anxious/ how does someone approach you/ where do you start?

Read sticky topics and others, take your time. Be respectful of yourself and your boundaries. Recognise that many people here are quite or very anxious, or used to be.

Is there an ethics for cuddling I can look at somewhere? so I know if someone isn't or I'm not.

Yes, follow links in the threads above. And see this thread:

• Understanding Boundaries & Etiquette

Should you contact pros or other people? both? what are the benefits of seeing a pro over someone who isn't.

Up to you. When things go well, the two experiences are very different even though the physical practicality of what happens is superficially similar. With an enthusiast, the experience is mutual - you are caring for each other. With a professional, they are caring for you. (Of course you should be polite and respectful and kind and thoughtful, but there is a big bias of care in one direction.)

What does cuddling mean or look like? is it just hugging or like platonic physical touch like you walk around with the occasional pat or lean on someone? Are we talking about full -we are going to lay down and hold each other and that's it- or just other things?

Whatever you want, including all of these things. Can include spooning and other full on cuddling. Think of the cuddles you might have with a child, or you had as a child, or with a pet, or a romantic partner when you're being platonic. All of that stuff counts as cuddling and you may do any of it with an enthusiast or professional as long as you are both genuinely comfortable with it. Consent is king.

Are there any group cuddling events? like a lot of people all meet up just to cuddle.

Yes, but this website doesn't really get involved with that

Is there pro cuddling related to therapy? Would there be other places to go for that?

In general this is the best place on the internet to find 'cuddle therapy'. Look for professionals who have lots of experience, have done a cuddle training course, and have a background in a caring profession.

• How To Choose Your Professional Cuddler

• The Perfect Opening Message (to a professional)

• Ten Things Your Professional Cuddler Wants You to Know

• How to Save Money on Professional Cuddling

Virtually all professionals are women. They are supposed to accept women as clients, and many do. However, a few don't, and a few would but aren't really comfortable with it. Happily, many women professionals are very comfortable having women as clients, and usually greatly appreciate having one. If in doubt, just ask the professional nicely what their perspective is and make it clear you'd rather have the honest answer than the 'technically correct' one. The website does not enforce this rule strictly. (The rest of the terms of service are enforced rigourously, and people who break them are banned.)

Good luck, and happy cuddling!