I think most of the answers are ambiguous anyway. "Has children" might include children that have grown up and settled in another continent ; or are living with an ex-partner most of the week, or even permanently. What about those whose children have died ? Orientation is another. If the site is for platonic cuddling, it should not matter ; any more than a visitor to an alcohol-free country would be asked if they are teetotal. The answer would be, "Yes, while I am in this country". If I am following the site rules, a female partner should not be able to determine if I am : straight, gay, asexual, or have erectile dysfunction. A male might claim to be gay, in order to persuade a female cuddler that they are no risk ; and then say mid-cuddle that the experience has made them question their orientation, and perhaps they are in fact at least hetro-curious ( if that's a word ).
@PeopleLikeUs "If I were to encounter a cuddler who was intolerant it could end a cuddle on the spot." That's funny. Isn't that the same as the pot calling the kettle black??
@ElGuero At any rate, yes, orientation matters, believe it or not. Cuddling isn't a surgical procedure. It's an intimate interaction between two individuals where thoughts, emotions, and body come together for mutual benefit (at least in theory).
I will qualify anything I say by emphasizing that it's my opinion and should be taken as such.
@calineur No
@calineur You are right about the intoleration remark, it is the pot calling the kettle black. However, intoleration of intoleration elevates it to a higher notch on a moral spectrum. Intoleration tends to decay if it is not tolerated.
@calineur : That is non-sense the right has been spewing forever. And is really just a crypto way of being homphobic, racist, etc...
As the quote goes : "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance"
Some men on this site are criticised for only wanting to cuddle with women, especially only with "hot' women. That discussion will run and run. However, if a man says they will only cuddle with straight women, and hence wants them all to declare their orientation so the others can be filtered out ; isn't that an admission that they are not interested in 'platonic' cuddling ?
Addressing the problem a different way : If a man were hoping for the cuddle to develop into something else, they are hoping that the woman will change their mind about wanting only a platonic cuddle. If so, why can they not cuddle with a staunch lesbian, in the hope that they will also recant their orientation ? Think of James Bond being told by Pussy Galore in Goldfinger to save his charms because she is "immune". The book is more specific than the movie.
Those who play the lottery, buy a ticket, because it gives them a small chance of winning the jackpot ; and they don't calculate the odds, because reality would discourage them. Worse odds would therefore also not discourage them. If a straight platonic female cuddler has a chance of becoming non-platonic ( and if that is the male cuddler's hope when choosing them, whether admitted or not ) ; then a platonic lesbian also has a ( albeit smaller ) chance of becoming non-platonic and also straight.
I don't think that declared orientation should be trusted much, when deciding whether or not a cuddler will push boundaries ; because they can easily be deceptive to get under the radar. Similarly, anyone who is really hoping the arrangement will become something else, should not be put off by something as trivial as the 'wrong' declared orientation by their partner. Many actors have famously 'changed' orientation at least once.
In any case, those who really push boundaries because they don't care how the other person feels about it, are not going to be affected by that person's declared orientation. A man in a prison probably feels no safer from sexual assault, by declaring they are straight.
If people were just honest with each other from the start, we could all get along just fine.
I’ve had positive cuddles from here, and they have been platonic. I also do screen potentials for implications of anything sexual. If I see that in the messages - I immediately correct them and if they continue or just give me the wrong vibe I end the convo. I do not allow anyone to book who seems shady (for lack of a better word). I also do think probably 75-80% of messages I receive seem to be interested in more than cuddling. But there are good folks out there everyone, so stay diligent!
@geoff1000 why are you only focused on straight men? There are women who also try to push boundaries, gay and strait. What about Gay Men who want "Hot men" to cuddle with? This forum is always attacking straight men. Why?
@Kense Only because It is usually more acceptable for someone to criticise a group to which they belong. I'm happy for those of the other gender and orientation to pitch in and criticise those groups, but if I did it, I'd be accused of sexism and homophobia.
As another analogy, if I suggested I wanted a night out without drinking beer, then listed as options only places that served beer ; my intentions might be questioned.
If the criticism is valid and warranted and factual it will be acceptable. Otherwise, it appears like the constant strait male-bashing that I always see here.
I’ve been on here for years and still haven’t had my first session. Non-pros either don’t respond or try to charge (then I report them). Almost had my first session this week but the person backed out last minute. Back to square one.
There are definitely lots of profiles (pro and non-pro) that appear to do more than cuddle. Of course that could be their tactic. Maybe they appear that way so they get booked by the people looking for more but then just keep it to just cuddling. Don’t know.
I’m here for legit no -pro cuddles.
@Kense What are your thoughts on the need to state "orientation" on the profile, and how reliable do you think that is ?
@aguyfromVA not unusual for non-pros to back out. There are many that won’t, but quite a few will. It just takes persistence.
@Kense The forum attacks certain behaviors which like it or not, are statistically more represented in the straight male population. The majority of people on this site are straight men, so what else do you expect? Nobody is saying it is only about a certain gender or orientation. You are assuming that.
@pmvines 👍👍. In addition, no one said all straight men. If the description does not apply to you then ignore and move along unless it is hateful or vindictive.
@Kense @pmvines One of the behaviours criticised, is offering sex for money, that's statistically more often done by females. Such females are likely to want to know the orientation of the male partners they choose, to avoid barking up the wrong kind of tree. Hope that helps to balance the argument.
@geoff1000 True true valid point
I wonder how many of the intentions are just miss understood. I know there are blatant ways to state you want more than platonic, but is it possible that a large percentage are people who don’t mean to imply that at all.
Example: if a person tells the other potential they have a lovely smile and that’s why i was drawn to your profile.... could be honest, could be an attempt at flattery with other intentions.
I wouldn’t want to suggest other things that could be said innocently and misconstrued because I’m sure I’d get it wrong, but could how we talk to strangers be the culprit in aloe if this?
@BashfulLoner You are not wrong—I have encountered that before in messages. But it does muddy the waters.
@BashfulLoner The term "Netflix and chill" is apparently code for sex. Could catch out the innocent uninformed. I bet there are many more bear traps out there.
I once was misunderstood in explaining what drew me to the site as me saying i was once a chauvinist. I clearly wasn’t saying that but talking about some of society’s ills. I felt uncomfortable explaining/defending that so i just left it alone.
@BashfulLoner "was once a chauvinist" I hope those on this site are more interested in what people are, than what they once were. If not, we'd all be in trouble. 😀
@geoff1000 yes i am aware of “Netflix and chill” and I’ve used it with women i fully intended to imply sex with AND women who clearly knew i meant watch Netflix and chill out. In my relationships it has never been misunderstood. I’d never use it here though.
@geoff1000 i was bothered by the assumption and didn’t carry on the conversation, but i agree
I only heard of Netflix and chill very recently, no idea how many other faux pas I've made. :-(
@BashfulLoner Yes, “Netflix and chill” has been banned by a few private universities on social media as it is now very much in the knocking boots camp. But I can see those that are not socially active unintentionally stepping into the poo so to speak and thinking it is exactly what it says—watch Netflix with the AC on.
@ geoff1000 stating sexual orientation doesn’t matter to me one way or another. I only cuddle women so if she’s strait or bi sexual etc doesn’t matter. I don’t think it would weed anything out if it wasn’t listed here . If somebody is wanting more than just a cuddle not stating orientation wont change anything imo . I’m not sure why you mean by reliable.
Well, that "netflix and chill" innuendo is super annoying. Like very. It is a common activity and even one in which some people like to do while cuddling. Nothing to do with sex. Someone who actually wants that could get in trouble by just expressing an interest, and someone who has no idea what that means could get themselves in an uncomfortable situation. Like argh.